Finished as of May 29, 2016
-----------------

>Snip here... 
>Sew this to that... 
>Making sure the cloth's correctly facing.... 
>You're stitching Twilight's drOH SCRATCH THAT ITCH
>Overcome by the sudden needy heat in your loins, you drop what you're doing and rub ferociously at your cooter.
>You sigh, feeling heavenly as the wet, crawling heat fades away.
"Oh, Sweet Celestia, that felt so nice."
>Yard by yard, you're... uhm....
>You're....
>Damn it!
>Your focus has been lost.
>It is just SO difficult to enter a proper song-inspiring mood, and you've lost what promised to be a very fruitful musical number.
>Grumbling under your breath, you reach out to grab the dress you were making to start again.
>....
>Why does it feel so wet in yo-Oh, ew!
>You've 'relieved' yourself all over Twilight's dress!
>You turn to face your beloved Opalescence and sigh dramatically.
"Oh, Opal, how will I finish all these dresses in time? This is simply the worst! Thing! Ev-Aaargh!"
>Your totally reasonable distress is cut off as you lean back just a little too far in your stool and slip off, landing on your back.
>Seems you made a bit of a slippery mess on your seat.
>You decide to just lay there for a moment: Covered in your marely fluids and reeking of sex.
>Opal watches you with her heavy-lidded, judgement-filled eyes.
>If it isn't enough that the world seems set against you today, not even your cat is on your side.

"Opalescence, what am I to do? My estrus season wasn't supposed to arrive for another two weeks, and I simply canNOT complete all these dresses in time if I continue to to make a mess everywhere!"
>If only you had a stallion to help you right now.
>Bragging is unbecoming of a mare such as yourself, but it would be quite realistic to say that you are quite the stallion's mare.
>A lesser, more brutish part of you would refer to yourself by the name of, Rarity "Drowning in Dicks" Belle, but you would NEVER speak those words aloud.
>No, finding a stallion would be the EASY part; the HARD part so hard would be sating the fiery thirst in your womb without getting pregnant.
>You simply canNOT afford to be with foal at the moment.
>How would you get any work done?
>How would you raise the foal AND your sister?
>Celestia knows that Sweetie Belle and her friends would probably kill the poor dear.
>You sit up and try to ignore the squelch that accompanies this action.
"Now, who can give me their seed and not impregnate me?"
>Who indeed?


>You are Anon.
>Human-fucker extraordinaire, and by no means the type of man who would stick his plonker in a pony.
>You are also Anon: the man who forgot to get his clothes washed.
>Oops.
>You look down at the pile of clothes on the floor that you discarded last night.
>They aren't THAT dirty; are they?
>Grabbing a black t-shirt, you do a sniff test and reel back slightly.
>Well, beggers can't be choosers.
>You grab your pair of slightly damp underwear and carefully flip them inside out in preparation to wear.
"Way to keep it classy, Anon."
>Things wouldn't be so bad if your clothes didn't go missing so often.
>You put off doing your laundry just to avoid losing your shirts and underwear.
>Maybe you'll go see Twilight and get some kind of anti-theft spell put on theOOohh lord above your undies are cold and wet.
>Visiting Twilight is on the top of your list of things to do today.

>"Hello, Anonymous! What brings you out and about this early?"
>You gesture to the sack of clothes you have hefted over your shoulder as your answer.
"Good morning, Mister Cake. I'm just heading over to Twilight's to see if she can help with my laundry troubles."
>Mister Cake falls in line beside you and chuckles.
>"A mare like Twilight, helping you with laundry? Honey, I don't think she even does her OWN laundry."
>He nudges you playfully with his hip.
>"Typical mare, am I right?"
>You guess? Maybe?
>You decide to play it safe and have a sensible chuckle along with Mister Cake.
"Yeah, I probably wouldn't be going to her if my clothes didn't keep disappearing. I'm hoping sh-"
>"What do you mean, your clothes keep disappearing? Celestia forbid, are they getting stolen?"
>The stallion looks genuinely distressed at the idea of someone making off with your clothes.
"I think so. It only seems to happen when I get them washed, so I'm HOPING..."
>You wait to see if Mister Cake will interrupt you again, but he stays quiet.
"...that Twilight has some kind of anti-theft device."
>Better yet, maybe some exploding dye packets.
>"Unbelievable. A colt can't wash his unmentionables without somepony trying to steal them. Do you want me to come with you, Anonymous? It's important for us colts to travel in groups, you know."
"That's sweet of you, but I'll be fine."
>Your shoulder begins to ache, so you heft the bag of clothes over onto your other shoulder.
"Ponies seem to forget that I'm at least twice their size."
>Mister Cake frowns and pockets his spare rape whistle.
>"I'll be coming along anyway, Anonymous. I still need to deliver some emerald-topped cupcakes to Twilight. That poor dragon friend of her's is sick, you see."

>Spike's sick?
>Jesus, what could possibly topple a dragon?
>Whatever it is, you want no part of it.
>Your sympathies to the little man, but you don't Spike to sneeze on you and incinerate your only clean set of clothes.

>You arrive at the library a few minutes later, alone; you'd sent Mister Cake back home and offered to take the cupcakes with you to Twilight's.
>With a wave of his hoof and a jostling of his rape whistle, Mister Cake walked out of your life and back home to his wife.
>A few smart raps on Twilight's chamber door are all that's needed to catch her attention.
>She emerges from the door frame and walks straight into your crotch, clearly expecting to see a pony instead of a tall human.
>...and she still has not walked away yet.
>C'mon, Twilight.
>Don't make this awkward.
>Keep it professional, dammit.
>.....
>Aaaaand she's sniffing your crotch.
>Wonderful.
"Twi?"
>SNIIIIFFF
>You take a step back... and then another step back when Twilight walks forward as to keep her nose buried in your groin.
>Fuck's sake.
"Come on, Twi, get it together."
>...is she shaking her head "no" up against your body?
>Okay, this isn't happening.
>You gently drop the cupcakes on the ground and reach down to pick Twilight up.
>She puts noticeable effort into keeping her face in between your legs, and you question your decision of living here in Ponyville.
>You probably wouldn't have to put up with this shit in the Griffin lands.
"Twilight?"
>"Mmnyeah?"
>Twilight looks up with the lewdest face you've ever seen.
"Cupcakes."
>"What?"
"I've got cupcakes for Spike. He's sick, right?"
>Twilight blinks a few times and her gaze sinks down to the ground where you'd placed down the tasty treats.
>"Y-you got treats for Spike because he was sick?"
>Twilight, still blushing from her impromptu adventure in between your legs, smiles up at you.
>"You're going to make a great father for him someday, Anon."
>Eaugh.
>You do not want to cum inside of Twilight Sparkle, please.
>But you've had this argument plenty of times; herding and living alone as a stallion, your safety against aggressive mare who "don't take 'no' for an answer", and something about your biological clock ticking.
>Twilight had it in her head that, since she was the most powerful magic user in town (and arguably, the country), she would be the ideal mate for you.
>The dreamy fantasies she'd regaled you with about doing all the money-earning for you and coming home to a freshly-cooked meal were creepy enough.
>The talks about "training you" to please her in bed tipped things over the edge for you, and you've avoided her whenever possible.
>The.... what did Rainbow Dash call them?
>Tuft-beards?
>The tuft-beards here are WAY more creepy than that you had back home.
"Uh, listen, Twi? Can I trust you with something? I've got a bit of a problem."
>"And I've got a bit of an solution."
>She flutters her eyes when she says that.
>Was that supposed to be flirting?
"...sure. Listen, I need you to cast some kind of.... anti-theft spell on my clothes, here."
>You nudge the sack full of your laundry with a foot, attracting Twilight's attention.
"Someone's been stealing my underwear, and I'm si-"
>"Somepony broke into your house and stole your most intimate of clothing?!"
>Twilight wriggles in your grip like a fussy toddler, and you almost snuggle her belly with your face.
>Aww.
>"Don't you see, Anon?! This is why I've been telling you to start a herd! You could have been RAPED, Anon!"
>She uses her horn to gently jab at the collar of your shirt.
>"And I don't see a rape whistle, mister. Doesn't Mister Cake have a spare?"
"Twilight; the spell?"
>Twilight stubbornly shakes her head.
>"Not now, Anon; I'm trying to think of a way to keep you safe at night."
>You decide enough is enough when you hear her muttering about "chastity" and put Twilight back on the ground.
>You know what? She can keep the clothes.
>This mare is super fucking creepy and you don't know why you even bothered coming to her.
>You've got bits, dammit; you can buy your OWN underwear!
>With blackjack and hookers!
>As soon as you put her down, Twilight buries her face into your crotch again before you can catch her.
>Quicker than you can react, she pulls away, runs back into her house, and slams the door shut.
>You want to get off of Miss Sparkle's wild ride.
>....
>She didn't even take the cupcakes.
>You'll just... uh...
>Put them on the window sill, how 'bout.
>Whatever.
>It's time for you to go to work anyway.
>Liberated of all your extra clothes and feeling sort of like you need to take a shower, you take off for Sweet Apple Acres.
>Maybe you can get Applejack to talk to Twilight about not being so.... Twilight.

<Missing scene: Anon is told about a gem deposit on SCC that Spike was supposed to take care of.  Anon volunteers for tribute.>

>You arrive at Sweet Apple Acres to the sight of Big Mac himself waiting for you at the gates.
>He gives you a once-over with his big, tired-looking eyes and sort of gives you the stink-eye.
>"Y'all ain't Spike."
>Thank you, Mac.
>Sometimes you worry.
>You make a big show of shrugging your shoulders and trying to act casual.
"Yeah, the little guy's sick right now."
>You look over towards the tool shed, hoping to see that it's unlocked.
>Fucking horselocks are impossible to open by yourself.
"Says that there're some gems on your property that need to be dug up and asked me if I could fill in for him."
>Big Mac just nods sagely and, turning his back on you, walks in the direction of the tool shed.
>"Poor feller. S'mighty kind of you to take his place, Mister Anonymous."
>Your suspicions are confirmed; the shed is locked.
>"Ah reckon not too many stallions would be 'xactly chompin' at the bit to get their hooves dirty, y'hear?"
>Neither were you, to be honest.
>It's your day off today, and you really have nothing better to do.
>You've still got a little bit of culture shock, what with the lack of internet and television.
>All that porn you'll never masturbate to...
>Tragic.
>But hey; you'll take brownie points where you can get them.
"It's no problem at all, Mac. Besides, a little hard work never killed anybody, right?"
>...Right?
>You mean, except for slavery.
>But slaves don't count as people.
>That's why they're slaves, silly!
>Equipped with a pickaxe and a spade, you and Clifford the Big Red Pony mosey on down to that deposit of gems.
>"Thanks again fer comin' down to the farm, Anonymous. Ah meant what Ah said 'fore; none too many colts would fill in fer farm work or gem diggin'."
>What, seriously?
"C'mon, Mac, it's not like I'm letting you come over to my house to have sex with my sister."
>You give the buff stallion a firm man-pat on his horse-shoulders, not noticing his blush nor his disapproving glare.
"It's seriously no big deal. Now, where's this gem depo-"
>Another voice, higher-pitched and a bit rougher than Mac's interrupts you.
>>"Well, well, well. Look what the man'nicore dragged in."
>Shit the bed, it's Applejack.
>The howdiest horse of them all.
>You turn, slowly; hesitantly, none-too eager to face what awaits you.
>Far too quickly for your liking, you find yourself face-to-face with Applejack.
"Fancy seeing YOU here, Applejack."
>What, on her own farm?
>Jesus, you're dumb today.
>Applejack's smug fucking smirk tells you that she caught your slip as well.
>Time to save things, Anon!
"What do you, live here or something?"
>Nailed it.
>That's right, Anon; make it look like you did this on purpose.
>>"Ah might."
>Applejack puts on her game face.
>That is, she puts on her bedroom eyes.
>>"Now, what good deed did Ah do fer Celestia to deserve findin' y'all on mah farmland?"
"Cool your teats, Applejack. I'm just here to help mine up some gems for Rarity."
>Farmpony is not to be deterred.
>>"Mmm~ Y'all can mine up MAH gem any time you want to, Sugarcube."
>Big Mac clears his throat and Applejack jumps a little bit.
>Seems she somehow didn't notice her enormous brother standing there.
>You guess something like him becomes so common-place to see that he fades into the background, but you're willing that neither sibling wanted to hear Applejack's weird country-time flirting.
>"AJ, don't you remember what Granny said 'bout yer behaviour concernin' colts?"
>Applejack smiles nervously and her widdle ears do this adorable floppy thing.
>>"M-mac, this ain't nothin' like that. Me an' Anawn here was just playin'; right, Anawn?"
>This is dumb.
>You aren't about to get yourself involved in this family any more than you need to.
"So, about those gems...?"
>Applejack looks at you blankly.
>>"What gems?"
>Fuck's sake, Applejack.
>You don't have the patience for this.
>Applejack jumps to attention after a moment and trots off in a random direction.
>>"Oh! The gems! Jus' follow me, Anawn! Ah got them gems right here fer y'all!"
>....she's walking back the way you came.
>Goddammit, Applejack.
>You tried your best to save her a bit of face and this is what happens.
>You look over to Big Mac, and he's just shaking his head.
>He has a look of exasperated disappointment on his face.
>His expression mirrors yours perfectly.
>Catching his eye, you silently nod in the direction the two of you were going in and you carry on your walk as though you had never been interrupted.

>It doesn't take you and Big Mac to find the hitherto-unseen deposit of gems.
>The light from Celestia's sun glitters brilliantly off of each jewel's facets as you approach them.
"Look at those," you whisper in reverence, whistling in appreciation.
>All this time in Equestria, and you STILL haven't gotten used to how common-place sapphires and rubies and emeralds are.
>This deposit would have you set for life back home.
>The way they're all jammed into the soil makes you think of fish jumping out from the surface of the water in a lake.
>Hopefully these surface-gems imply the same thing; this location is RICH with shiny rocks.
>"It's a right shame that Spike ain't here tuh help, you know."
>Hey, fuck you, Mac.
"Do you want my help or not, Mac?" you reply tersely, glaring at the pony.
>Mac take a moment to consider what he said and then cringes, his ears flopping down and an apologetic grimace on his face.
>"Y'all know Ah don't mean it like that, Mister Anonymous. 's just that with his experience, he could solve what appears to be a conundrum on our hooves."
>He grips a pickaxe in a forehoof and taps lightly on one of the gems.
>It produces a pure, perfect pitch.
>"Gems don't rightly make an appearance on the surface, Mister Anonymous. 's why Applejack's seamstress friend has a spell to look for'em. S'almost looks as though they're tryin' tuh get our attention."
>You aren't experienced enough in the matter of gems to know whether or not to call bullshit on Big Mac, but you're still considering it.
"I dunno, Mac," you say, scratching the stubble on your chin.
>The barber's out of town this week, and your friends won't let you purchase a straight-razor to deal with your ugly, patchy beard on your own.
>Which is just as well; you have no idea how to use a straight-razor. You'd probably just end up slitting your own neck.
"If Celestia can raise the sun and Luna can raise the moon, then why can't gemstones decide to run away from home and chill on the surface world?"
>Seriously.
>If a purple unicorn can be a wizard, then mundane shit like shiny rocks can break the mould once in a while.
>Big Mac shrugs and turns his attention back to the task at hand.
>"Like Ah said, Mister Anonymous; Ah don't rightly know. That's why Ah was hopin' fer Spike tuh come 'round these parts and try to shed a little light on the sit-chew-ayshun."
>Nearly an hour passes before Applejack is brave enough to rear her head again.
>AJ: "Alright, Mac, y'all've earned a break. Why don't you head on o'er to the house an' get us some nice, cold apple juice?"
>Big Mac nods his head and silently walks away.
>Applejack rears up on her hind legs and rests a hoof on your shoulder, trying to push you away from the still-unearthed deposit of precious stones.
>AJ: "Alrigh', Anawn, y'all done proved yer point. Yer just as capable as us mare-folk; just like Big Mac."
>Oh, for FUCK'S sake, Applejack.
>You're getting real tired of her shit.
>REAL fucking tired.
>Just to spite her, you raise your pickaxe and get back to work mining the gems out of their shallow grave.
"I'm here to fill in for Spike, Applejack. I'm not trying to prove anything."
>AJ: "S'that right, partner? Then why didn't you jus' go get a mare to help you?"
>Who is she, your mother?
"God-dammit, Applejack. Let me live my life."
>The mare gets back onto the ground and takes a defensive step back.
>AJ: "Ah ain't tryin' to tell y'all what to do, Anawn. Ah'm jus' sayin' that there's plenty of work fer you colt-types to be doin' that don' involve breakin' yer back like y'all're doing."
>That's BULLSHIT, Applejack.
>You feel the pickaxe ripped from your grip and a powerful tug on the back of your belt.
>AJ: "Tell you what, Anawn. Since Ah done offended yer stallion-ish sensibilities, why don't Ah help y'all get yer clothes and such cleaned up?"
>You look down at yourself and, sure enough, you're covered in sweat and dirt and.... stuff that you really hope isn't that gross slop that you've seen in the farm's pigpens.
>AJ: "You've done a buncha mare's work fer me today; it's only right fer me to help y'all with the colt's work."
>You know, you didn't ALWAYS have to put up with this sort of crap.
>You remember your first year here.
>So innocent
>So blissfully ignorant
>You were picking up and cuddling ponies left and right before you were stopped.
>A lot of ponies' behaviour didn't make sense until Twilight sat you down and explained things to you.
>It was a lot harder to ignore a mare's protest when you picked her up than it was before.
>Before, you'd rub her tummy and tickle her ears and give her a great big hug and then get on with your day.
>Now, you... you don't pick mares up any more.
>You don't sift your fingers through their soft chest tufts.
>You don't nuzzle them until they're a panting, sweating mess.
>And you CERTAINLY don't blow raspberries into their tummies.
>Life basically sucks, now.
>You gotta treat these ponies less like tiny, intelligent pets and more like humans in fur suits.
>Minus the disgust and contempt, obviously.
>But you know what?
>You're willing to re-live your glory days.
>And SOMEPONY here is in desperate need of a cuddlin'.
>Without a word, you scoop Applejack up into your arms and cradle her like a baby.
>Her ears flatten and her widdle hooves instinctively curl up on her chest.
>AJ: "An-Anawn? What're you do-no. No!"
>She wriggles around ineffectually in your grip.
>Mmmmm
>It's better when they struggle.
>That just means you get to spend longer calming them down.
>You find a tree to sit down by and settle Applejack down in you lap, cradling her head and her rump in your arms.
>AJ: "That's enough, Anawn! Ah KNOW that y'all had a talkin' to with Twilight! Ah ain't no dog y'all can just pamper!"
"Shhh..."
>You reach out and start to gently rub her belly.
"Just let it happen..."
>Applejack lets out an involuntary coo as her body reacts to the gentle stimulation you're providing.
>AJ: "N-nooo~ Don' rub mah belly an' scratch mah ears!"
>She's telling you her weaknesses. What a fool!
>You rub the base of her ears with your finger tips; just like you did with your cat back on Earth.
>"Y-you stop that, now..."
"Who's a silly pony?"
>Applejack happily wriggles around in your lap, trying to get comfortable.
>AJ: "Ah am!"
>She looks up at you with a bright smile on her face.
>This is it.
>You've broken her.
>She'll never be the same again.
>Luckily for you, Applejack's fast asleep when Big Mac gets back with the apple juice.
>The look of alarm on his face makes it clear that he knows that this could just as easily have been him.
>He might never trust you again.
>That, or he'll just think his sister's weird for acting all "coltish".
>Before he can move, you carefully deposit Applejack onto the soft grass and rise to your feet.
>She's very reluctant to let go of your hand, and you're half-way tempted to bring her with you to Rarities.
"I'll be taking these gems over to the boutique, alright? If Rarity wants any more of these, I'll be back later."
>Big Mac pales slightly at "I'll be back later", but quickly nods his consent.
>He doesn't take his eyes off of you until you're off of his property.
>You're a little smelly, sure, but you're reasonably certain that Rarity won't mind too much as long as you aren't there to stink up her place of business.


>DONG DING
"Who where?"
>You are Rarity, the half-asleep and drowsy.
>Your usual afternoon nap didn't happen because you were too busy masturbating in an attempt to stave off your cooter-heat.
>If things are going the way you'd HOPE they're going, then you know EXACTLY who's at your door.
>That's right.
>That hot piece of flank, Anonymous.
>It's a shame he lost all that weight since he got here; you had a thing for a plot that had a bit of bounce to it.
>With a sleepy yawn, you open your door.
>Anonymous stands before you, his clothes dirty and torn, and the most delicious smell coming off of him.
>You can SEE the sweat dripping off of him.
>WOW
"Hot a what baabhabhiat!"
>What did you just say?
>Why would you DO that?!
>Anonymous looks as confused as you feel.
>Confused and a little bit nervous, like he regrets coming here.

-----------------

>You are Anon.
>The fuck is wrong with this pony?
>Is she having a stroke?

----------------------

"So, uh, Rarity. You know those gems you wanted?"
>You give the sack you've got draped over your shoulder a gentle heft, drawing Rarity's uncomfortable attention away from you.
>She isn't saying anything.
"The ones from Applejack's farm?"
>She's still silent.
>Does she want these gems or not?
>You bend down and snap your fingers in front of her face a couple of times.
"Oi. Rarity, look alive."
>Rarity snaps to attention and takes a few steps back into her house/shop.
>"Oh! Oh, yes, of course. Please come inside, Anonymous."
>Her face takes on a red hue, and her gaze flicks down towards your crotch a few times.
>"P-please, come inside..."
>Sexy.
>That was sarcasm, by the way.
>You were being sarcastic.
>You aren't the type of man to get a hard man-penis when you spot another not-human creature's no-no place.
>"Give them to me and I'll put them in the back room, Anonymous."
>She grabs the bag of gems in her magic and begins to walk away froOH hey that sure is a horse pussy
>Jesus take the wheel.
>Those lips look big and puffy enough to grab and hold onto something.
>"Oh, and be a dear and remove your shoes before you go any further, Darling. I would HATE-"
>She squirts a little bit on her floor.
>You feel equal parts aroused and disgusted.
>"-for you to make a mess on my floors."
>fuck.
>FUCK.
>Dammit, Anon, you made ONE PROMISE to yourself when you arrived in Equestria, and that was that you would NEVER become a horsefucker!
>Nobody told you life was gonna be this way [spoiler]clap clap clap-clap[/spoiler]
>You think it's time to leave now, please.
>No sooner did you think this did the front door slam closed and loudly lock.
>Is this how you die?
>"Oh, and Dear?"
>Rarity's voice cuts through the silence of the room.
>"You smell and dress like a brute. I would most appreciate it if you were to make use of my facilities."
>She chuckles seductively, stepping just out of sight.
>"You may also use my bathroom to wash up.
>Oh, snap.
>.....
>You're going to hell after tonight, aren't you?

------

>You are Anon, from the distant year of five minutes later.
>As per Rarity's instructions, you've left your awful worth clothes outside the bathroom door.
>You were promised a nice bathrobe after you were done cleaning up, but you've been on the receiving end of a "Clothing Liberation" group more than once, and your "let's get Anon naked" sense is tingling.
>You don't play no horse games, so you've remained stubborn.
>You mean, you never actually intended on walking around all naked and shit, but you've made sure not to leave that issue on the table at all to begin with.
>And so, you gaze upon Rarity's shower and try to figure out what mysteries await you.
>You have so many questions.
>What are these knobs for?
>Why are there three of them?
>.....and what does the GREEN one do?
>You reach out and turn the blue one and, surprise surprise, cold water comes out.
>Using your human genius, you surmise that the red one makes hot water come out.
>You step into the hot spray and nearly moan out loud at the feeling of dirt and sweat practically peeling off of you in gross mushy layers.
>That's about when you realize that you can't find any soap or shampoo or whatever it is horses use to clean themselves.
>What are you supposed to do now?
>You don't know the social conventions of using a friend's shower in a house that isn't your own.
>You never even POOPED at a friend's house if you could manage it.
>You give the shower box another once-over in case you overlooked some kind of pony-hight cleaning device, but all you can see that's out of the ordinary is the green knob.

>You know what? Fuck it.
>Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
>You give the green job a mighty turn and OHGSGHGLGUHGLUHGHG
>CHRISTFUCK
>Bubbles overwhelm your vision and, confronted by a superior foe, you panic and begin to flail your limbs around a bit.
>End result: you slip and fall like a dingus.
>You lay on the floor of a tiny shower tub thing, bubbles invading your most private of no-no places, and you accept defeat.
>You can only wonder where your life went so wrong.
>More importantly: why this pony has an attack module in her shower.
>Life must be hell when you expect to be assaulted in your own bathroom.

>There's a knock on the bathroom door, jarring you out of your thoughts.
>"Anonymous? Are you quite alright, Darling?"
>Fucksticks.
>You push yourself up into a sitting position and wait for the water to wash away the bubbles and your shame.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine, Rarity."
>"That's a top-of-the-line model I had imported from Canterlot, Anonymous. I know that stallions can sometimes have trouble figuring out new things for themselves, and I'm EVER SO certain that I've thrown away the user manual."
>The door creaks open just a crack.
>The fuck does she think she's doing?
"Rarity? We've spoken about this sort of thing."
>The door halts its progress and a whine can be heard through the new opening.
>"Oh, why must you be so stubborn, Anonymous? I don't know what the other humans said to you, but you have NOTHING to be ashamed of, Darling. I'm sure your body is just BEAUTIFUL."
>There's a pause because you refuse to give Rarity the satisfaction of a response.
>Slowly; VERY slowly, Rarity's muzzle pokes in through the crack.
>"Who hurt you, Anonymous?"
>Fuck's sake, Rarity.
"Good-BYE, Rarity."
>You step out of the shower and gently close the door, giving the mare plenty of time to remove her muzzle from the opening.
>You think you're done with this shower now.
>"And before I forget...."
>With a flash of light and the feeling of pressure that comes from displaced air, a bundle of clothing descends upon the floor by your feet.
>Upon further inspection, [spoiler]these are loafers[/spoiler] you have been provided by with a housecoat.
>It's pink and frilly.
>You're going to slap that pony the next time you see her.

---------


>You walk down the horsestairs in your fresh and cozy bathrobe.
>What was this, a trillion thread count?
>It's feels SO GOOD on your bare skin.
>"Anonymous? Darling, are you there?"
>Is that.... wheatloat you smell?
>That's your favourite dish.
>Well, your favourite non-meat dish, anyway.
>You miss steak.
>You cautiously step down the stairs, unsure of what Rarity has planned for you.
>On the one hand, you know that she wants to jump your bones and take away your pony v-card.
>Part of you is okay with that because God knows that the mental line dividing ponies and humans blurs more and more every day.
>The other part doesn't want you to start a relationship with a farm animal because you REALLY don't want to admit how sexually frustrated you've become after all this time in Equestria.
>God knows you'd fuck a cow sooner than you'd make steak from it now.
>....
>You sicken yourself sometimes.
>The scene before you is breathtaking.
>The dining room is in a very low light, the only significant source of light being the candles Rarity had set up in the middle of the table.
>There are flowers sitting on the table (with a single red rose on your plate), and soft violin music provides a very, well...
>A very romantic atmosphere.

-----------------------------------------
Old shit removed; new shit added past this point
-----------------------------------------

>You settle yourself down across the table from Rarity, who magically levitates the dinner she prepared onto the table.
>Your nose knows its stuff; wheat-loaf, boiled green beans, and and some sort of pasta dish.
>"So, Anonymous, now that I have you..."
>Her eyes dart down to you the knot on your bathrobe.
>"...tied and bound, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?"
>She grasps her utensils in her magic and begins the cut up her green beans, and you decide to follow suit.
>That's when you notice that your knife and fork are made out of plastic.
>God-dammit, Rarity.
>She saw an opportunity to ruin the atmosphere and she fucking ran with it.
"Not much to say that you don't already know," you reply, struggling not to break your knife cutting yourself a bit of wheat-loaf.
>"Is that so?" returns Rarity, doing her best to speak in a sultry tone.
>"Because there is ever-so much that you've kept hidden from all the mares in ponyville. Are you shy, sweetheart?"
>Her pseudo-worried expression quickly melts into a wicked grin.
>"Because I've taken your measurements before, baby, and you don't have a thing to feel embarrassed about."
>Whoo-boy.
>Keep it together, Anon.
>Try not to think about her gross animal lips.
"Diving right in, are we?"
>"Maybe I'm hoping that you'd dive right into ME instead."
>Just in case you were too stupid to pick up on her really subtle flirting, Rarity stares you dead in the eye and licks her lips.
>"Please, eat. It isn't every day you find a mare who knows how to cook."
>No kidding, huh?
>You give Rarity's pasta a taste-test and are kind of surprised when it's actually pretty good.

>"Do you like the sauce, Anonymous?" she asks, leaning forward, "I made it myself."

>Okay, this dinner's over now.
"Well, Rarity, I can't thank you enough for this lovely dinner."
>You stand up and make for the door.
"It was... it was great."

>That's when you feel a tug on the back of your bathrobe's belt, startling you and pulling you away from the front door.
>This has the unfortunate side-effect of undoing the knot on the front.
>"Darling, that bathrobe looks a little bit tight on you."
>You're caught between walking to the front door and not publicly exposing yourself, and you end up stumbling backwards into the shop.
>Fucking wizard ponies!
>"It's so warm; why don't you loosen up that belt?"
"Oi. Oi!"
>"I'm really quite skilled with my hor-ouch!"
>You grab the bathrobe that's fluttering away from you and yank it back towards you.
>This has the unintentional side-effect of pulling Rarity towards you like you were playing some fucked-up game of tug-of-war.
>With a thump that rattles the windows, you and Rarity fall into a heap; you on the bottom and Rarity on top.
>When you get a better look at her, you see that she's quite frazzled.
>Her mane is poking out at random, and she has a bit of food spilt on her normally-spotless coat.
>Idly, you note that magic seems to be like physical labour for unicorns; Rarity's panting and is quite out of breath.
>"I... I do NOT put... Put together such...hah... hah... Romantic evening for just.... oh Celestia, I'm out of shape.... just anypony... Oh, wow."
>Rarity collapses on your chest and uncharacteristically doesn't try to get her hooves on your cock.
>You're actually a little bit concerned, to be honest.
"You alright there, Rares?"
>" 'm fine, Anon'mus. Jus' need.... jus' need a few minutes..."
>She tries to keep speaking, but she's too out of breath.
>You can't help but smile at the mare laying on your chest.
>She's all tuckered out.
>You wrap an arm around her and slowly rub circles in her back until she gets her second wind.
>She isn't chubby like Twilight, but she's equally as out of shape as the purple mare.
>"D-did I do it, Darling?"
"Hmm?"
>Aww, is this little cutie falling asleep on you?
>"Did I get you?"
>[spoiler]How can my rapist possibly be this cute?[/spoiler]
>You'll humour her.
"You sure did, Rares."
>Rarity responds by curling up and drooling on your chest.
>Gross.
>Once you're sure she's fallen asleep, you carry her up to her room and tuck her in.

--------------------------------------

>You wake up the next morning (in your own house and your own bed, thank you) to the sound of pounding on your window.
>"Hey! Anon, wake up! Dude, I need to talk to you!"
>Oh, you can fuck RIGHT off, Rainbow Dash.
>It's only ten in the morning. Not even Rainbow Dash is awa-oh, wait.
>"C'mon, Anon, what are you even doing in there?"
>You answer with a sleepy moan.
>"...is it something colty? Are you... cleaning up your bras?"
>Your fucking what?
>The FUCK is Rainbow Dash trying to say about you?
>Somepony's getting a slap right in the face the next time you see her.
>Her name start with "R" and ends with "ainbow Dash"
>[spoiler]hint: it's Rainbow Dash[/spoiler]
"Fuck off, Dash. I don't HAVE any bras, you jackass."
>You swear you hear her mutter, "racist" under her breath, but you're still half-asleep.
>"Y-you go around bra-less?"
>My my. She sounds awfully flustered.
>There's a pregnant pause wherein you pretend that Rainbow Dash has left you alone and you can go back to sleep, but you know it isn't true.
>"I... I d-don't believe you, Anon. Let me - let me in and p-prove it."
>Fucking FINE!
"Okay! Jesus, if it will get you off my back, I'll open my window."
>Muttering under your breath about bird ponies, you roll off of your bed and walk over to your window, which you open.
>Almost immediately, Rainbow Dash flutters in and swivels her head around wildly.
>Earugh.
>You sometimes forget that pegasi can sort of do that neck thing that owls can.
>"No way."
>Rainbow Dash revs up her wings and dives into your top-most drawer, which you leave open all the time.
>She sifts through your socks and underwear and you GUESS she's looking for a bra?
>Or whatever you imagined she said while you were half-asleep?
>Rainbow Dash pops up out of your drawer after swimming around in your underwear like Scrooge McDuck in his vault of money.
>Luckily for you, she doesn't have a pair of your dwindling underwear on her head.
>She DOES, however, have a sock over each ear.
>"No bucking way!"
>She looks at you like she just found an unread Daring Do novel.
>"Are... are you doing anything?"
>She blushes a bit and tries to paw the socks off of her ears.
>"L-later, I mean?"
>Huh.
>You'd have pegged Rainbow Dash for a lesbian, in all honesty.
>...wait, do these ponies thing that you're a girl?
>Dammit!
>All that time and all those nude photos you allowed Twilight to take of you for her book on human psyiology: wasted.
>....
>There never WAS a book, was there?
>Fucking ponies.
>Just...
>FUCKING ponies.
"So, what brings you to my house this morning, Dash?"
>"What?"
>Rainbow Dash, I'm so sick of your shit right now.
>"Oh! Oh, yeah. Rarity wanted me to ask you if you could dig up a few more gems for her, and she wanted me to help too."
"I don't know..."
>"She said that she can pay you for it."
>Ooohh...
>Is it really worth the risk of a shower and a nice dinner?
>You think it might be.
"Fuck it; sure thing. Where're we going to find these gems?"
>More importantly, where the hell is Spike?
>"They're just outside the clock-tower."
>That's a little bit off the ol' beaten path down towards Sugarcube Corner for your morning coffee, but you can always go there later.

--------

>You are Rainbow Dash.
>They told you that you were naive and stupid for believing that such a colt existed, but you've finally found it.
>A colt who doesn't wear a testicle bra.
>Anon didn't even have a single pair in his entire collection.
>Oh Celestia, you can only IMAGINE how his pair must be j-jumping and swinging around right now.
>Rubbing against the fabric of his human pants...
>Get-getting all sweaty....
>Thank the Sun you're flying right now.
>Anon would probably freak out if he saw you sporting the biggest wing-boner you've ever had.
>You SWEAR they feel at least a few inches longer than they usually are.
>"Hey, Rainbow, you're looking a little bit hot."
>For YOU.
>"Wanna hop up on my back 'til we get there?"
>YES
>CELESTIA YES
"S-sure. Thanks, Anon."
>You grapple onto his back and wrap your fore-hooves around his shoulders and marvel at how the fabric of his shirt rubs against your marehood.
>Oh buck he smells so good
>You REALLY hope nopony notices the wet stain you're leaving on his back.

-------

"So, where are these gems even coming from?"
>Rainbow Dash lifts her head off of your shoulder and sleepily looks you in the eye.
>"Hmm?"
>It sure was nice of her to offer her services as an umbrella.
>Those wings of hers haven't gone down for a single second for all the time you've been mining these gems.
"I mean, this cluster wasn't here last week; was it?"
>Rainbow Dash nuzzles your cheek, deep in thought.
>She always seems to do that when she does any serious thinking.
>That shit's pretty cash money, so you aren't complaining.
>"Yeah, that IS actually pretty weird. Maybe somepony's setting up traps for Diamond Dogs? We've had a lot of trouble with them before."
>Rainbow Dash nuzzles the back of your neck, sending tingles along your spine.
>"I... I'd keep you safe if there were Diamond Dogs in town, Anon."
>Aww, that's sweet
>She's forgetting that you're two or three times her size again, but it's the thought that couoihhboy she is licking the back of your neck, ladies and gentlemen.
>That's not so sweet.
>>"Well, well, well. Ain't this a coh-ink-ee-dink?"
>You always knew this day would come.
>You turn to face the orange devil, but Rainbow Dash acts before you can open your mouth to speak.
>Rainbow Dash climbs up your neck and onto your head like some kind of strange pony-monkey hybrid.
>Secure in her perch with her rear hooves wrapped around your neck, Rainbow Dash start making loud chirping noises at Applejack. You can tell by the shadows on the ground that Rainbow Dash has spread her wings wide out.
>You don't know WHAT'S going on, but you don't like it.
>To your astonishment, Applejack rears back and starts making noises you would've expected to hear from an elk in distress.
>>"HEARUUURAAAHK"
>Rainbow Dash responds by hissing loudly and chattering her teeth.
>"Chaatatatahataatahaha!"
"D-dash? What the fuuooh my."
>Rainbow Dash grips you around the forehead and starts aggressively rubbing her chest tuft on the back of your head.
>Has it gotten fluffier, or is it just you?
>Applejack looks outraged.
>With a few mid-air bucks into the nothing behind her, Applejack runs off back the way she came from.
>Oh god, ponies are staring.
>Some of them look afraid; others, disappointed.

----------------------------------------

"So, you wanna get off my head, Rainbow Dash?"
>"No."
>Hoh-kay.
>Discussion's over, you guess.
>But you aren't an extremely small horse, so in actuality you win all arguments you have with them by default.
>You easily lift Rainbow Dash off of your shoulders and hold her out at arm's length.
"First of all, don't do that."
>Rainbow Dash makes a scrunchie face and squirms in your grasp.
>"I only did it 'cause - 'cause Applejack doesn't know when to stop."
>You care surprisingly little about why she did her little display a minute ago.
"Rainbow, I don't know what beef you have with your friend, but find a place other than my head to stage your disagreement."
>"The WHAT I have?"
"Second of all, we have gems to harvest for Rarity, so we need to get back to work."
>You put the cyan mare back down on the ground and hand her her pony-sized pickaxe.
>"You sure you don't ne-want me to use the big one?"
>Oh, you, bird-horse.
"That's sweet of you, but the big one probably weighs as much as you do. C'mon; let's grab these gems so that we can get out of here."
>You glance over your shoulder at the crowd that had gathered.
"Ponies are still staring."

>Time passes quickly as you and Dash work together in silence.
"So, Dash, why are you helping me with these gems?"
>Rainbow Dash looks oddly affronted and flies a bit closer to your face.
>"Because you're my friend and you needed my help. Just what kind of question is THAT, little mister?"
>Whoops.
>It seems you've just questioned the Element of Loyalty's loyalty.
"N-no, I mean why did Rarity want you to go with me today? I was all by myself with the deposit on Applejack's farm."
>Rainbow Dash deflates a bit and smiles at you weakly.
>"Oh. Heh, sorry about that. I'm pretty sure you were all by yourself because SPIKE was supposed to be doing that gem thing instead of you."
>Oh.
>Well, that really just begs the question of why Rarity assigned you a minder.
"Why does Rarity think I need a foal-sitter?"
>Rainbow Dash just rolls her eyes at you and starts going at it with that gem deposit.
>"Dude, c'mon. I know you're all tough and stuff, right? But Rarity's all big on that romance stuff and she nearly threw a FIT when she heard that it was just you and Mac harvesting those gems for her."
>What about the tiny, baby, adolescent dragon child?
"Isn't Spike a child?"
>Rainbow Dash scoffs and bats a hoof at you dismissively.
>"Well, YEAH; but he's a DRAGON, mare! That practically makes him one of the fillies, y'know?"
>You DON'T know, but sure.
>Poor Spike.
>You hope Twilight actually gave him those emerald-sprinkled cupcakes.
>.....
>Where did the Cakes get those emeralds from, anyway?

-------------------------------

"Well, Rainbow Dash," you groan, stretching and popping your back, "I think we're done here."
>Rainbow Dash lowers her front half and stretches out her back, looking for all the world that she was presenting herself to you.
>"I feel you, buddy."
>Why is everybody HITTING on you today?!
>"You gonna be alright out there?"
>You wave Rainbow Dash off and start walking to Rarity's boutique.
"I'll be fine. Now get out of here, you scrub."
>Rainbow Dash takes to the air and flies off.
>"See you, Anon! I'll be by tomorrow at the same time!"
>You've booped Rarity once; you can do it again.
>You heft the bag of what did she mean, "tomorrow at the same time"?
>What is this, your JOB now?
>At least it pays in
>uh
>Rape attempts.

-----------------------

"Why does Rarity think I need a foal-sitter?"
>Rainbow Dash just rolls her eyes at you and starts going at it with that gem deposit.
>"Dude, c'mon. I know you're all tough and stuff, right? But Rarity's all big on that romance stuff and she nearly threw a FIT when she heard that it was just you and Mac harvesting those gems for her."
>What about the tiny, baby, adolescent dragon child?
"Isn't Spike a child?"
>Rainbow Dash scoffs and bats a hoof at you dismissively.
>"Well, YEAH; but he's a DRAGON, mare! That practically makes him one of the fillies, y'know?"
>You DON'T know, but sure.
>Poor Spike.
>You hope Twilight actually gave him those emerald-sprinkled cupcakes.
>.....
>Where did the Cakes get those emeralds from, anyway?

"Well, Rainbow Dash," you groan, stretching and popping your back, "I think we're done here."
>Rainbow Dash lowers her front half and stretches out her back, looking for all the world that she was presenting herself to you.
>"I feel you, buddy."
>Why is everybody HITTING on you today?!
>"You gonna be alright out there?"
>You wave Rainbow Dash off and start walking to Rarity's boutique.
"I'll be fine. Now get out of here, you scrub."
>Rainbow Dash takes to the air and flies off.
>"See you, Anon! I'll be by tomorrow at the same time!"
>You've booped Rarity once; you can do it again.
>You heft the bag of what did she mean, "tomorrow at the same time"?
>What is this, your JOB now?
>At least it pays in
>uh
>Rape attempts.

-------------------------------

>DONG DING
>Rarity opens the door and she looks just AWFUL.
>She has bags under her eyes
>Her fur coat is is kind of gross off-white
>Her mane is out of place
>And you could smell her horse genitals from the moment her door opened.
>She reminds you so much of yourself when you were younger.
>"Who where?"
>Oh, god. Not again.
>Pony needs to get some sleep.
"Hey there, Rarity. Rainbow Dash and I got those gems from down by the clock-tower."
>You deposit your bulging sack onto the ground and make to leave.
"We cool?"
>Her voice startles you; you'd been hoping that she'd be too far out of it to protest your leaving.
>"Wait! Won't you come inside, Anonymous? My behaviour last night was unacceptable and I feel that I simply MUST apologise properly."
>That's bullshit, but you believe it.
>It all comes down to how she plans on apologising to you.
>You decide to proceed with caution.
"If you insist."
>Rarity beams at you and walks inside, tail lifted high and hiding NOTHING.
>"Oh, I do."
>The ride never ends.

>The two of you walk into a back room in silence.
>You pass by a sewing station surrounded by man-equines (mane-equines?) that are adorned with a chaotic jumble of half-finished outfits.
>Some of them even look like they'd had one style of clothing stitched directly onto a completely different onc, as though inspiration had struck Rarity mid-stroke.
>Gems litter the ground, and you can recognize some of the ones that you had fished out of the ground at Sweet Apple Acres.
>You'd honestly thought that a lot of what Rarity had wanted you to do for her was just bullshit, but you guess you were wrong.
>It seems like she had more going on than trying to get into your pants.
>Much like the different styles of clothing stitched together, you're starting to think that there's more going on with Rarity than just some ill-thought out attempts at seduction.
>"Anonymous? Darling, would you please come here?"
>You arrive a door and find that you are alone.
>Had you been paying so little attention to Rarity that you managed to lose her?
"Coming!"
>The room you enter is less chaotic than the work room you just passed through, but it still feels very lived-in and cozy.
>By the looks of the soft (an remarkably unsophisticated) looking couches and cushions, you'd wager bits to biscuits that this is Rarity's personal relaxation room.
>It's easy to spot Rarity.
>Her bright coat stands out against the darker reds and purples that dominate the room and, more importantly, the couch she's currently laying on.
>"Could we cuddle, Anonymous? I do so hate how I attempted to force myself onto you, going so far as to disrobe you against your will."
>Rarity's shifting nervously and she looks anywhere but your eyes.
>Her speech seems to get more posh and upper-class the more she talks, and you begin to suspect that her entire hoity-toity attitude may be some kind of defence mechanisms she's using to cover up some kind of insecurity.
>Something to do with her parents?
>Her sister, Sweetie Belle, clearly doesn't share the same trouble, making you wonder if it might even just be the pressures of being the older sibling in their relationship.
>You stop mentally vomiting your pseudo-psychological bullshit when you realize that you've been ignoring Rarity.
>"Please, Anonymous? I need this, even if it just means a short reprieve. I assure you there will be no 'funny business' present, as the youth is known to say."
>What's the harm in a little bit of cuddling?
>You answer with a smile and walk over to her couch.

----------------------------

>"Mmmm... Anonymous, I have something to confess to you..."
>Shhhh....
>You squish this little cutie against your chest and oh your GOD she makes the most adorable noise when you do that.
>"My estrus hit me a bit early this year, you know..."
>Her voice is a little bit muffled.
>Sounds like SOMEPONY's got her muzzle buried in your chest again.
>You aren't sure what "estrus" means, but it sounds like some kind of delicious food.
>The sort you would find from a food vender on the street.
>Steamy and greasy and oh Jesus you haven't eaten yet today.
>You could go for some estrus right now.
>[spoiler]You wonder if Rarity's willing to share with you.[/spoiler]
>"I've been trying EVER SO hard to entice you into my bed, but you've proven yourself to be a much classier stallion than I had anticipated."
>She wriggles slightly out of your grip and smiles apologetically at you.
>"Sorry, Darling; that came out wrong. I know you aren't a slut."
>She knows so little about you, clearly.
>You'd stick your dick into just about anything with a vagina.
>But telling that to the tiny woman you have trapped in your arms is probably a bad idea.
>You opt to answer her in the form of a kiss on her forehead.
>The squeal she produces makes your heart hurt.
>"Ooh! Oh, Anonymous!"
>She wriggles deeper into your warm embrace, using her magic to summon a blanket to cover the both of you.

----------------------

>"D-Darling! That was AMAZING!"
>It really wasn't.
>You stuck your dick inside of her and she soaked your groin with this gross thick, soupy mixture.
>"Fifteen minutes! Oh, I've only ever heard stories like that in my Japony's mangos!"
>You would have cum a LOT sooner but that yellowish goop stuff was REALLY gross.
>Like, you can't emphasise enough how disgusting it was.
>Rarity takes a deep breath in through her nose and releases it in a shuddering breath.
>"I can still smell us, Anonymous, love."
>Jesus, really?
>SNIFF SNI-HURK
>oh christ what DIED inside of her vagina?
>Was it everything?
>Oh God, you really want to leave.
>"Stay with me, love?"
>Rarity drags a hoof down your chest and looks up at you with those big, blue eyes.
>"Please?"
>Dammit.
>God FUCKING dammit!
>You're pretty sure that you can't pull off a smile, so you just hug her.
>She seems to get the message, so whatever.
>"I feel like I should apologise, Anonymous."
>No kidding.
>The smell will never come out.
>"My plans to seduce you included planting gem deposits around town."
>She looks away and blushes.
>"I... was hoping that it would provide you with an excuse to come see me."
>aw FUCK that's cute.
>"I also MAYBE might have convinced Rainbow Dash to stick with you to make sure none of our friends snatched you up before I could."
>Yeah, that sounds like something Rarity would do.
>"She really should be back by now, come to think of it."
>Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

-----------------------------

>You are Rainbow Dash, and you've got a deal on the table.
"C'mon Applejack, please? It's just for a few days."
>Applejack levels a glare at you like she caught you pissing in her apple cider.
>"What, and jus' let Anawn get all snatched up by Rarity?"
>Applejack takes a sip of her apple juice and somehow manages to make it look menacing.
>"Ah'm not as stupid as y'all birdpones seem to think Ah is. Anawn is Rarity's way to 'beat the heat', am Ah right?"
>Maybe.
"No."
>Shit.
"Look, there's no way to know for sure that Rarity will succeed, right? For all we know,"
>You gesture wildly with your mug and spill your apple juice everywhere.
"For all we know, Rarity's already struck out and your horsebando is safe and pure."
>Ooh, she's thinking about it.
>SOMEpony wants a virgin groom.
>"An' let Anawn's first time be a one-night stand? Mah mama'd tan mah hide if mah groom weren't a virgin. A colt's first time is supposed to be special and most importantly with his wife."
>She literally has NOTHING to worry about.
>Like, NOTHING.
>Anon is socially retarded, which just makes his innocence all the more endearing.
"You know how innocent Anon is; he probably won't even realize what Rarity's been trying to do all this time. Remember that time when Rainbowshine tried to impress Anon with her wingspan? He thought she wanted to have her wings massaged and it nearly caused a public incident."
>You...
>You didn't actually tell Anon what wing-rubbing meant.
>He thinks it helps you relax.
>And to be fair, it DOES.
>[spoiler]Sexually.[/spoiler]
>"Ah'll tell y'all whut. Y'all work on mah farm fer as long as Rarity's on her estrus, and I'll stay away from Anawn."
>Applejack jabs her hoof at you and sprays you with her apple juice.
>FatherFUCKER, that was probably for spilling your OWN apple juice from a minute ago.

>You are Rainbow Dash from about two hours later.
>You've learned today that farm work sucks shit.
>You'd be all over those cider barrels if Big Mac weren't guarding them like some kind of gate-keeper.
>...ooohhh...
>You know what might work?
>Showing him your wings.
>All that talking about Anon's given you some ideas.
>Maybe; just maybe, he'll look at your sexy chest tuft and be all too willing to share his delicious cider with you.
>[spoiler]Oh! And maybe he'll also give you a mug of fermented apple juice to drink too![/spoiler]
>Time to make a love connection.

---------------------------------

"So..." you start, stroking Rarity's soft mane.
>She normally hates when ponies mess with it, but she seems to be making a special exception for you.
"What happens now?"
>"Now, Darling..."
>Rarity crawls up your body and oh GOD she's leaking an unholy mixture of cum and yellow goop all over your chest.
>"Now, we [spoiler]snuggle[/spoiler]."
>O-oh, my...
>THUMPCRASH
>Oh, what now?
>Can't you hug the farm animal you just fucked in PEACE?!
>Haven't you earned that with your horse-fuckery?
>>"Anoooowhn! Lemme in! Ahlm-I need tuh come inside!"
>That's Rainbow Dash.
>>"Hurry! Applejack's gonna bea' me up!"
>Is she drunk?
>Reluctantly, you and Rarity walk down stairs and answer the front door.
>Lo and behold, Rainbow Dash sits before you on her haunches.
>She's looking pretty unsteady on her rump.
>>"Anohn! Oh, thank Cel'stia! You weren't home an' I got scared and Abble-jack's REALLY mad at me."
>Haha, wow.
>You can smell her from here.
>It actually overpowers the smell of weird horse jizz.
>God, you canNOT get over how terrible that is.
>>"Hey!"
>Rainbow stumbles over and rubs up against your legs like a cat.
>>"Hey. Hey hey hey hey. Lis'en. You di'nt get your dick sucked by Rarity, did you?
>You sure didn't.
>Amazing; even when she's drunk, she's perceptive.
>Rainbow Dash sits down and sprawls her legs out wide to balance her drunken ass.
>After she's gotten her balance back, she puffs out her chest and spreads her wings.
>Her tuft gets incredibly fluffy, and her wings shimmer in the sunlight.
>[spoiler]You'd stick your dick in those wings.[/spoiler]
>>"You like whatcha see, Anon? Ehh? You lil' slut, I'll be you LOVE wings this big."
>"Anonymous? Sweetheart, wha-haah-HHAAH!"
>Rainbow Dash doesn't falter, too drunk to realize that something had changed.
>"R-Rainbow Dash! Put that away!"
>Rarity's blushes; actually BLUSHING at Rainbow showing off her wings.
>"Nopony wants to see that!"
>Rainbow Dash's confidence stands strong and erect for a moment before faltering.
>>"I... I'm sorry."
>Oh no.
>>"I didn' mean to..."
>Oh, shit, you know what this means.
>As quickly as her bravado came, it left and got replaced by drunken sadness.
>Quick as you can, you pick up Rainbow Dash and lay her head on your shoulder like you would hold a cat.
>With a nod from Rarity (it IS her home, after all), you carry a loudly-sobbing Rainbow Dash inside of the boutique.
"You've still got that spare bedroom, right?"
>Rarity shakes her head, keeping a close eye on Dash.
>"No, but I have Sweetie's room."
>Close enough.
>"She's spending the night at her friends', so Rainbow will be safe there to recover."
>>"EARHHUUHRRRBLURRHUHRK"
>.......
>Absolutely disgusting.

"Rarity, could you give me a hand here? I wanna give Rainbow Dash a bath before we do anything else with her."
>"A threesome, Darling? Ohh, I always knew you were a DIRTY colt~."
"I - what? No, I..."
>You sigh deeply.
>For God's sake, Rarity, now isn't the time.
"Look, just help me get her clean, alright?"
>"Mmm. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you're so worried about getting dirty."
>Rarity gently nudges you aside and enters the bathroom.
>Hopefully she's drawing a bath.
>Worse comes to worst, you can always just hose down Rainbow out behind the boutique.
>You aren't feeling very sympathetic now that your shirt is ruined.
>RUINED.
>....
>Oh God, you ARE a colt.
>"Be a dear and prepare the laundry, would you?" shouts Rarity from inside the bathroom.
>Well, you suppose that's fair.
>"I am QUITE fortunate to have a stallion in the house today. I'm sure you know how to clean bedsheets far better than I."
>Oh, now she can go FUCK herself.
>But you have a drunk, vomit-covered pegasus and you aren't afraid to get her to start flying around.
>You've had birds in the house before.
"Sure thing, Rarity! I'll just dump Rainbow Dash onto one of your couches and -"
>Quick as a shot, Rarity sprints out of her bathroom and in front of you.
>"The laundry can wait! It can wait!"
>She tries to take Rainbow Dash from your arms, but the cyan mare just tightens her forelegs around your neck.
>>"Nooo~ buck off, I don' wanna.... oh. Ah... oh!"
>no
>Rainbow Dash has gone rigid in your arms.
>please no
>>"Aaahhbbupaaarhhyyhgyuuugh!"
>NO
>NOT AGAIN
>earuhgh
>Oh Christ, it's inside your shirt.
>YOU'RE going to be sick if she keeps this up.
>"Not on my floor!"
>Rarity's concern for you is absolutely touching.

>"B-but Anonymous! I wanted our first bath together to be romantic!"
>Rarity peers at you apprehensively from outside the bath.
"I know, but I need help cleaning out all this mud from Rainbow's coat."
>You give the borderline-unconscious pony in your arms a light shake.
"Besides, this isn't our first bath together. This is more of a... a soaking."
>"Ohh, can't I just give you the soap and take care of her after you're done? I have so many plans for her mane that Rainbow simply wouldn't let me do to her."
>Rarity seems to go off into her own little world, and you would swear you can hear her humming.
>"....yard by yard..."
>What?
>No, this is dumb.
>SPLASH
>You reach out and grab Rarity around her middle and tug her into her bath.
>She flails around and you get head-butted in the nose, but it's worth it.
"St-STOP! Oi, stop complaining so much!"
>You shift the VERY unhappy mare into your lap and lean Rainbow Dash over the edge of the tub with her head sticking out.
"Did you really want Rainbow Dash to be the one sitting in my lap?"
>Rarity crosses her forelegs and puffs out her cheeks.
>"Oh, just shut up and pass me the soap, Anonymous."

>You are Rarity.
>You sit there next to Anonymous and watch him clean the vomit out of your barely-conscious friend's fur.
>The only sounds that broke the silence are the splashes of tub-water and Anonymous himself humming a tune that you've never heard before.
>His shirt is wet and the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows; he had never looked so... normal.
>You could never imagine the Anonymous in your head doing something so trivial and normal as helping out a drunk friend.
>He would be in your boudoir trying on all the outfits you'd designed just for him while he patiently waited for you to finish up with Rainbow Dash.
>....he would have been smitten with you and your charm during your first dinner.
>But here he was, doing what any decent mare would be doing for her friend.
>He was much more down-to-Equestria than you thought he would be, but you suppose you should have known that.
>How long had you been friends with Anonymous?
>How many things about him did you dismiss because they didn't fit your ideal image of him?
>How well did you actually know him?
>You smile to yourself and focus on your work.
>Now is the chance to find out.

>You are Anon.
>You wipe your wrinkled, pruney hands on a towel and stretch your back to get rid of all the kinks you'd earned from sitting hunched over for so long.
>Your back ached and your hands were swollen and a little bit numb from the jobs that Rarity had given you of mining up gem deposits all over town.
>She'd admitted to planting those for a few reasons.
>The first was to keep you too busy to interact with other mares, which would risk you being won over before Rarity could snatch you up.
>The other reason was so that Rarity would be given an opportunity to seduce you every time you returned to Rarity's boutique to deliver the gems you'd mined for her.
>You reflect on the past couple of days and wonder if it had been just the gem deposits that had been machinated by Rarity.
>Spike had been meant to take your place on the farm that day, but he was sick.
>When the emerald-sprinkled cupcakes had been delivered to Twilight, she'd been surprised to see them.
>That meant that someone other than Twilight had ordered them for Spike; someone who had known that he was sick and had known Spike well enough to know what his favourite type of mineral was.
>And then there was the case of the missing underwear.
>You'd been content to chock it up to the dastardly deeds of some random mare (or stallion; these days?), but even something as trivial as that seems suspicious now.
>Was it a plot to deliver you to Twilight so that you would find out about the gem deposits on the Apple's farm?
>You shake your head and go back go work.
>It's all in the past now.
>You just wished that Rarity had been more honest with you.
>You don't know why she'd felt the need to organize a big series of events if she had just wanted him to fuck her; all she had to do was ask.
>You feel that the entire affair was very sweet of her, but are disappointed that she thought you needed hard convincing or had to be tricked into being romanced by her.
>You'd ended up landing a marefriend, yes; but you were worried about how Rarity would end up treating you now that she would be seeing the real you - not the "stallion" she apparently had put up on a pedestal this entire time.
>You hope your relationship will last.

>"Anonymous?"
>Rarity calls your name and you look up to her inquisitively.
>"I think Rainbow Dash is clean now, Darling."
>She lifts your cyan friend out of the tub and wipes her down with her magic, leaving you to drain the tub and clean all the bubbles and bits of gunk off of the interior and down the drain.
>With the cleaning taken care of, you follow Rarity out of the bathroom and into Sweetie Belle's bedroom.
>Rarity places Rainbow Dash (who started snoring half-way to Sweetie's bedroom) on her sister's bed and shuts the blinds.
>The two of you stand outside the bedroom door in silence.
>"Anonymous? I have a request for you if you're willing to hear me out, darling."
>You're curious; did she want more cuddling?
>Did she want to "beat the heat" with your dick again?
"Go right ahead, Rares."
>Rarity smiles slightly at the nickname and seems bolstered by your familiarity.
>"Could... could we go to my bedroom and cuddle?"
>She holds out a hoof when you open your mouth to speak.
>"JUST cuddling, dear. I believe that we've gotten off on the wrong hoof with this relationship and that we've rushed into things. I would really like to talk and to get to know you better as a pony."
>Rarity catches her slip-up and blushes lightly.
>"As a PERSON, I should say."
>Rarity struggles to maintain eye contact with you and trots nervously in place as she awaits your decision.
>This is exactly what you were looking for.
"I'd like that too, Rarity."
>Rarity smiles and leads you into her bedroom for some much-needed personal time with each other.

The End.