Batmare.

This place is slowly killing you.  

Sure it was cool at first, technicolor vaginas flying at you left and right.  Every mare wanted a piece of the green bipedal alien with those squiggly things at the end of his arms.  But then it slowly crept in.  The whispers, the judging eyes.  Apparently you were now a horse slut, with all the public ostracizing that comes with it.  Not exactly how you pictured a world of magic ponies acting.  Especially all the effeminate stallions. Where the heck was the friendship?

Rather than feel shame, you fought back.  Embraced it.  Infamy over ignominy.  You would be the biggest horse bitch man slut in Equestria.  In spite of your now completely tarnished reputation, you worked your way into the highest levels of Equestrian society.  

Because you literally knew who did it, in what room, with the candlestick holder.  So now here you are, at some kind of horse gala thing.  It’s funny how the pones go around naked all the time, but they put on a couple layers of fabric and it suddenly becomes incredibly lewd.  Horse clothes are definitely your fetish.

As you survey the crowded ballroom your eyes slide upon an older pink filly.  Her purple and white mane is done up in a tasteful bun.  You immediately decide you need to be all up in that small horse.  As you make your way over to her you smoothly grab two glasses of champagne off a tray that is tightly clamped in the mouth of a passing waiter.  He stares at your digits in envy, a single tear running down his horse cheek.  He can’t even wipe it off.He. You down one glass and nonchalantly toss it over your shoulder.  It smashes an orange blue maned guard pony right in the face.

She’s in a small group of other older fillies.  An orange one, a yellow, a white one, and a really sexy grey one you hadn’t noticed.  Of well, gonna have to save her for later.  Your sight’s are set to pink.

“…ahm glad yer back DT!  We were so worried after ya vanished when yer parents were mysteriously murdered.”

Hnnnng.  Fuck, that accent.  Calm down little green, we might have to turn around and I don’t wanna knock a bunch of ponies over with my dick.

“Yeah, you missed our last year of school before graduating.”

“Thanks for worrying girls, sorry.  It was just sooo hard after they died, I had to get away.”

You bet your ass it’s hard.

“What was that?”

Oh shit, did I say that out loud?

“Umm, I said it must have been hard.  Losing your parents like that.  I’m Anon, by the way.”

You put out your fist, which she then bumps, as is the custom.  Sweetie Belle leans over to whisper into DT's ear.  You hear it clearly because hooves are terrible acoustic direction devices.

“DT, that’s the slut we were telling you about!”

You straighten up as pink horse looks you up and down (to fuck lol.)  She seems to like what she sees.

“Him?  Yeah right.  Bet he doesn’t even put out.  Just another prissy little stallion tease.”