To Serve and Protect

Prompt: >"You're under arrest! Get on the fucking ground, asshole!"

>You are Anonymous.
>You are the only human in Equestria.
>You have just been told you are under arrest.
>You glance down at the tiny blue horse yelling and cursing at you.
"Oh my gosh you are just PRECIOUS. What am I under arrest for, officer? Serial booping? If so, guilty as charged!"
>You boop her on the nose.
>She FUCKING BITES YOUR HAND, HOLY FUCK.
>She then body checks your legs out from under you.
>You groan as she shoves you backwards onto the ground.
>Your head spins as she slams her hoof into the side of your head.
>She then kicks you a few times in the ribs.
>Wow
>What a woman.
"Mr. Anonymous, you have the right to remain silent. You are to be escorted to the royal dungeon immediately to await trial before Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia."
>As she speaks, she takes your arms behind your back and snaps a pair of handcuffs around your wrists.
>You catch your breath and try to question her.
"Wha... Wait, What'd I do? What am I being tried wi-"
>She slams your face into the ground, hard.
"Shut it, dirtbag! If I wasn't a cop you wouldn't even be able to speak right now. Scum like you just make me sick."
>Satisfied your cuffs are secure, she pulls you up by the wrists and props you on your knees, letting you get up to your shaky feet.

>You wobble woozily on your way.
>The police pony encourages you to walk faster
>She does this by headbutting you in the ass, making you stumble forward.
"Hurry up, you degenerate. You just have to sit in a cozy cell, I'm the one who has to file out a report."
>Ok, this is ridiculous.
>You stop.
>The police pony butts you again, but you don't move.
"What's the big idea here?"
>You look down at the tiny blue equine.
"I want your name and badge number."
>She looks aghast.
>She scrunches her face up adorably.
"My name is Blue Fuzz, not that it's any of your business, perp."
>You raise an eyebrow.
"And your badge number?"
>She shuffles her feet.
"I... Uh... We don't have those in Canterlot!"
>You raise your eyebrow further.
"Canterlot? But this is Ponyville. Aren't you a bit outside your jurisdiction?"
>She grits her teeth.
"You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law!"
>You smirk down at her.
"I choose to waive that right. And this right."
>You wave your right hand.
>She looks flabbergasted.
"H-How did you get those cuffs off?! Nopony can break out of those!"
>You wiggle your fingers.
"As you can see, I'm clearly no pony. And I'm not going to the dungeon either. See you around, Fuzzball."
>You slip your hands in your pockets and turn around to walk away.

"Freeze, dirtbag!"
>Blue Fuzz slams into the back of your legs.
>You stumble a bit but stay standing.
>You turn around.
>She glowers up at you.
"You have one chance to surrender before I add 'resisting arrest' to your warrant, Anonymous!"
>You bend down to look her in the eye.
>You reach out, your hands brushing across her sides.
>You stand, picking her up and holding her beneath her forelegs at arm's length.
>She flails around, trying to squirm out of your grasp.
"Unhand me at once, criminal scum! I am an officer of the law!"
>You start bouncing her up and down and side to side, making her body dance to some unheard rhythm.
"Gah! This is an affront to justice! This is an embarrassment to law and order!"
>You flip her upside down, her hat falling off and her legs instinctively curling, as if trying to run on the air.
"Gah, My hat! I need that! It's part of my official uniform!"
>She looks genuinely upset all of a sudden.
>Lip curling, arm flailing towards the ground upset.
>You flip her back upright and stow her under one arm, kneeling down to retrieve her hat.
>You set her on the ground gently and plop the hat back onto her head, mussing up her mane.
>She quickly adjusts the hat and scrunches her face up at you.
"Don't think giving me my hat back gets you off the hook, dirtbag. Resisting arrest, assaulting an officer, seems like your rap sheet is growing longer by the minute!"
"Oh really? And just what was the original charge upon which you insisted I had to go to the royal dungeon?"
"It was... uh... It was... a very serious accusation!"
>You cock an eyebrow.
"I'm sure it was."
>She looks back and forth, seeming to panic.
"It was! It was... Uh... A top secret... Royal... Declaration. You were to be taken in for secret crimes against the crown!"
>You tilt your head.
"Secret royal crimes?"
>She nods, enthusiastically.
>You turn and start to walk away.

"H-Hold it!"
>Blue Fuzz trots in front of you and looks up.
"You are going to come with me to the local law enforcement station, and return to Canterlot to serve time in the dungeon. Got it, buster?"
>She scrunches her face at you menacingly.
>You smile in spite of the very serious officer and terrible legal trouble you face.
>You ponder for a moment.
>You don't have anything else to do today, really.
>You sigh dramatically, slumping your shoulders in defeat.
"Alright Copper, you win. My jig is up. I guess I'll be going up the river now."
>Her face lights up light a Christmas tree.
>She hops around excitedly.
"That's right, you criminal scum. You're going downtown, and if I have my way they'll be locking you up and throwing away the key!"
>She starts running down the path into town, practically hopping with excitement.
>She turns back towards you.
"C'mon, hurry up! The station is this way!"
>You sigh and slip your hands back into your pockets, casually following her into town.

>You follow Blue Fuzz into town.
>You follow her through town.
>You follow her around town.
>You follow her back to the center of town.
"Do you know where you're goi-"
"OF COURSE I DO."
>She glares up and down the same streets you've just walked along and past several times.
"At least, I should. The police station should be somewhere in a reasonably central location, to maximize efficiency responding to issues. But there's nothing around here but a boutique, a restaurant and a pastry shop! Doesn't this two-bit town even HAVE a police station?"
>You smirk down at the flustered officer.
"Nope."
>She scrunches her face at you again.
"And you couldn't let me know about that earlier?"
>You grin.
"Gonna add obstruction of justice to my rap sheet, officer?"
"I might!"
>She narrows her eyes up at you.
"If there's no police station, who keeps law and order around here? Who's in charge of keepin' dirtbags like you off the street?"
>You stroke your chin in thought.
"Well, the mayor is in charge of town laws and such, but for actually stopping criminals... I suppose that would be Princess Twilight's job, if it came down to it."
>Her eyes go wide.
"Th... There's a princess? Here?"
>You smirk and nod.
"In this little two-bit town. She lives over there."
>You point at the gaudy crystal tree with a building on top of it.
"I guess you'll be taking me to see her about this 'Royal Transgression' I've committed, then?"

>You smirk down at the tiny police horse.
>She gulps and then scrunches up her face with determination.
"You bet I am, buster. Let's go, get a move on!"
>She starts butting her head against the back of your legs.
"Woah, easy there on the police brutality, officer. I'm going."
>The two of you walk up to the castle.
>She knocks on the large golden doors.
>No answer.
>She knocks again.
>Still nothing.
>She starts pounding on the door rapidly.
>You grin.
"May I?"
>She huffs, ceasing her assault on the entryway.
"Go ahead."
>You smile and raise a fist to knock on the door.
>Instead, you bring your fist to cup your mouth.
"PRINCESS SPARKLEBUTT, I SUMMON THEE!"
>Twilight Sparkle appears in a brilliant flash of purple light.
"Anonymous! I told you to stop calling me that!"
>You grin down at Blue Fuzz
>She looks aghast.
>Twilight looks annoyed.
>You look like a skeleton wearing a human suit, nyeh heh heh!

"Sorry Twilight, but we needed to get your attention quickly. It's a matter of national security! Isn't that right, officer?"
>You smirk down at the cop pony.
>She glares up at you before glancing at Twilight and snapping to attention.
"Ma'am, er, your highness, uh, ma'am. I have apprehended this dangerous criminal and have been informed that Ponyville falls under your jurisdiction. I wish to return with him to Canterlot for proper processing at the local police headquarters."
>Twilight blinks and raises an eyebrow, looking back and forth between the two of you.
"Dangerous criminal? Where?"
>Blue Fuzz looks at you and points.
>Twilight bursts out laughing.
"Hahaha, Seriously? Anonymous? A dangerous criminal? He might be a pretty big guy but he wouldn't hurt anypony."
>Blue Fuzz falters before scrunching her face up and stamping a hoof.
"With all due respect, Princess Twilight, I have been ordered to bring this rogue element back to Canterlot to await trial by Princess Celestia herself!"
>Twilight stops laughing and tilts her head.
"That's funny. You don't look like one of the royal guard."
>Blue Fuzz flinches, as if Twilight had struck her.
>She has that same look as when her hat fell off, like she could burst into tears.
"Uh, the Royal Guard has no authority in this matter. It's official police business!"
>Twilight and Blue Fuzz look up at you.
>You shrug and grin super awkwardly.
"Or so I'd assume. Twily, would you mind giving us a zap to Canterlot?"
>Twilight blinks.
"You WANT to go to the royal dungeon?"
"Who DOESN'T?"
>You wiggle your eyebrows.
>Twilight rolls her eyes.
"Alright Anonymous. You're going to have to find your own way home, though."
>Your vision fills with purple light.

>You blink, stumbling a little as the ground shifts beneath your feet.
>You're in Canterlot.
>If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.
>You glance down at Blue Fuzz
>She looks a little green.
"First time teleporting? It can be pretty rough on some ponies. Here."
>You bend down and pet her back.
>She flinches away, stumbling a bit on her legs.
"Knock it off, perp! Ooh..."
>She lowers her head, looking ill.
"I... I'm fine. You should be worrying about yourself! It's a pretty hard crowd on the inside. They'll tear a nice guy like you apart."
>You smirk and kneel down, gently rubbing her neck and side.
>She seems to relent, her eyes closing as she absently nuzzles against your arm.
"You could always let me go."
>Her eyes pop open and she snaps away from your touch and back to attention.
"Not on your life, perp! I have a solemn duty to protect the people of Equestria from degenerates like you! Now get a move on! All that running around Ponyville means you're going to have to spend the night in a holding cell before I take you in to the dungeon proper."
>You snap to attention and salute.
"Sir, yes sir!"
>She narrows her eyes at you and turns sharply, leading you through Canterlot's streets.
>You approach a small, kind of run down building.
>Completely unassuming from the outside, Blue Fuzz stops at the entrance.
"Welcome to your home for the evening. The Canterlot Police Station. Let's get you inside and into a holding cell."

>You and Blue Fuzz enter the station.
>The place is a disaster.
>Papers carelessly strewn about the reception desk.
>Half-full coffee cups littered haphazardly across every available surface.
>Only one holding cell, empty, and it looks like the door doesn't even close properly.
>A small red pony wearing a police hat is sleeping with her head on her desk.
>Blue Fuzz looks unamused.
"Cherry Top! You were supposed to have this place cleaned up before I got back to Canterlot with the suspect!"
>The red pony jumps up, flailing her hooves around, scattering papers everywhere.
"Uh, Oh, jeez, sorry Blue. I just, I didn't expect you to actually bring in- uh, I mean, I didn't expect you back so soon! And with all the hours I've been working, what with the stake out and the paperwork, I haven't been sleeping too well recently, and-"
>Blue Fuzz puts a hoof to her face and sighs.
"It's fine, Cherry. Just, go home and get some rest."
>Cherry Top tilts her head.
"Are you sure, Fuzz? Normally when we bring in a perp you can't wait to do the good cop-bad cop routine!"
"Yes, Cherry, I'm sure. Just... Just go home. I'll clean this place up."
>Cherry hops up and practically bounces out the door.
"Thanks Fuzz, you're the best partner a lawpony could ask for!"
>Fuzz lowers her head and goes about scooping papers up into a pile.
"I'm the only partner you could ask for... lousy Royal Guards."
>You look around awkwardly.
"Uh... D'you... want some help cleaning up the place?"
>She snaps her head back towards you, as if remembering you're there.
>Her eyes flit between you and the ruinous station.
"Uh. Well..."
>She sighs.
"Sure. Nothing else has gone by the book this arrest, why start now?"
>She looks around.
"If you could throw those cups in the sink out back, that'd be awesome. I'll deal with these papers."
>You spend the next half hour or so cleaning up the police station.
>Seems like the place hasn't been cleaned up properly in a while, and it shows signs of serious disrepair.

>You and Blue finally get the place looking somewhat presentable.
>You clap your hands together and rest them on your hips.
"Alright. What's next on the agenda, Officer?"
>Blue Fuzz looks up at you.
>You smile down at her.
>She scowls.
"Just get in your cell."
>You raise an eyebrow and shrug.
>You walk over to the tiny holding cell.
>You step inside and sit on the small cot.
>It's surprisingly plush.
"Alright. You're gonna stay there for the rest of the night, and tomorrow we'll head to the castle to serve you to Princess Celestia for trial."
"Right. Trial. For my secret crime."
>She scrunches her face up.
"That's right. You've been pretty cooperative so far, so as long as you don't try any funny business tonight, I'll put in a good word for you with the princess."
>You lie back on the cot.
"Uh huh. So what, you're going to lock me in here and head home?"
>She falters.
"Uh... well... The cell door doesn't actually lock properly. So I have to stay here and make sure you don't escape."
>You sit up.
"You're going to stay awake all night?"
>She trots over and slides the cell door closed.
>It sticks at the end, not even closing completely.
"You got it, buster. Wouldn't be the first time I've had to pull an all-nighter in the name of keeping the peace."
>You frown.
"Couldn't you ask one of the royal guard to watch me so you can get some sleep?"
>She glowers.
"Bah! No way! This is Canterlot Police business. Besides, Even if I did get one of those arrogant, know-it-all guards to watch you, you're sleeping in my be-"
>She raises a hoof to cover her mouth.
>You raise an eyebrow.
"What was tha-"
"Never you mind, perp! Now lights out!"
>She flicks the lights of the station off, leaving you in darkness.

>You lie on the cot in the dark.
>You roll over onto your side.
>You roll back over onto the other side.
>You sigh and sit up.
"Officer Blue Fuzz?"
>You hear a reply from the darkness outside your cell.
"What is it, perp?"
"May I have a glass of water?"
>You hear grumbling and see the flick of a flashlight turning on.
>Blue Fuzz's face is illuminated, holding the flashlight between her teeth.
>She wanders off into the back, returning after a moment with a cup full of water in her mouth, the flashlight now behind her ear.
>She enters your cell and hands you the mug.
>You accept it and drink graciously.
"Thank you."
>She takes the cup and leaves your cell.
>The flashlight turns off.
>A few minutes pass.
"Officer Blue Fuzz?"
"Yeah?"
"It's cold in this cell. Can I request a blanket?"
>She grumbles and flicks the flashlight back on.
>She disappears again before returning with a folded up black and white blanket draped over her back.
>She enters your cell and bucks the blanket onto your legs.
"Satisfactory?"
>You unfurl the blanket over yourself.
"I think so. Thanks."
"Whatever. Is there anything else you're going to request before I settle down to guard you for the night?"
>You place a hand on your chin in thought.
"Well... There is one other thing that would help me fall asleep."
>She tilts her head, the flashlight behind her ear illuminating both of your faces.
"And what's that?"
>You smirk and lean forward, your arms quickly slipping beneath her forelegs.
>You pick up the tiny lawpony.
"H-Hey! What's the big idea!"
>She squirms helplessly as you hold her in the air.
>You bring her in close to your chest, holding her still.

"Wh-what are you doing, criminal scum?!"
>You lie back onto the cot, still holding Blue Fuzz against your chest.
"There. Now you don't have to stay up all night watching my cell. If I try to escape, you'll be the first to know about it."
>She scrunches her face up.
"And what am I supposed to do to stop you from escaping with you holding me like this?"
>You smirk up at her.
"What were you going to do if I had tried to escape at any point today?"
>She opens her mouth as if to speak, but her jaw just hangs as no words come out.
"That's what I thought."
>You grin and reach a hand up to boop her on the nose as you loosen your grip around her.
>She scrunches extra hard and narrows her eyes at you furiously, but the light of the flashlight betrays that she's blushing.
>You reach up behind her ear and press the button on her flashlight, hiding you both in darkness.
"Goodnight, officer."
>You lie back down, resting your head on the pillow of your cot.
>After a few minutes you feel Blue Fuzz's head rest against your chest.
>You reach up and slip your hand beneath her police hat.
>You gently scritch behind her ears and trail your fingertips down her neck.
>She nuzzles her head into your chest, relaxing her body against yours.
>The two of you gradually drift off to sleep.

>You wake up lying on your side on a jail cell cot.
>In your arms is an adorable blue pony.
>Her face is nuzzled into your chest, her body curled up against yours, her police hat skewed almost entirely off her head.
>You lightly scritch behind her ears.
>She smiles and stirs in her sleep a little.
>Adorable.
>You could lie here for hours.
>Suddenly the door to the station swings open and Cherry Top walks in.
"Hey Blue, I brought you some coffee since I know you were up all ni-"
>She stares into the cell.
>She looks from you to Blue Fuzz to you again.
"Uh... mind telling me what's going on here?"
>Blue starts to stir from her slumber.
"Huh... whuh..."
"Officer Blue Fuzz! Why are you in the prisoner's holding cell? Are you being held against your will?"
>Blue snaps out of her morning fog.
"Oh. Uh. I, uh. No. I was just... um..."
>She untangles herself from your arms and adjusts her hat on her head as she hops down from the cot.
"I was just ensuring the prisoner is ready to be transferred to Canterlot castle, that's all."
>Cherry Top raises an eyebrow.
"By canoodling with him in the holding cell?"
>Blue Fuzz tenses up and glares.
"We were NOT canoodling!"
>Cherry Top stifles a giggle.
"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Blue."
>Blue scrunches her face up.
"As if I'd be caught dead doing something like that with a degenerate criminal element like him. Hurry up, dirtbag. We're going to the castle."
>With that she storms out of the station.
>You glance awkwardly toward Cherry Top and follow after her.

>You follow Blue Fuzz through the streets of Canterlot.
>She seems upset.
>You start to say something, but the deathglare she fires your way shuts your mouth.
>You walk in silence towards the castle.
>The castle guards cross their spears as you approach.
"Halt! Who goes there?"
>Blue Fuzz rolls her eyes.
"Officer Blue Fuzz with a prisoner, as per my appointment with Princess Celestia."
>The other guard clears his throat and reaches into his armour.
>He withdraws a piece of parchment.
"Appointment, hrm, ah, yes. Blue Fuzz, here on official Po-loser business. Oh, excuse me, Po-lice. Nasty habit I picked up from actually getting into the Royal Guard."
>He smirks down at her.
>She grits her teeth, shaking with rage.
>The guards laugh and move their spears aside.
"Better let you inside then. Wouldn't want a 'dangerous criminal element' to stay out on the streets."
>You silently follow Blue Fuzz past the guards and inside the castle door.

"What was that about?"
>She glowers up at you, her eyes widening.
"Shut it, perp! The only one asking questions around here will be Princess Celestia, asking you why you're such a degenerate criminal! Now move!"
>She hoofs you in the back of the leg.
>You roll your eyes and march.
>She leads you to the throne room.
>You enter to see Princess Celestia sitting on her throne, guards flanking either side of the room.
>You and Blue Fuzz approach.
>She kneels.
>You wave awkwardly.
>Celestia smiles that warm, sunny smile.
>Blue Fuzz stands and addresses the princess.
"Princess Celestia, I have done as you've asked. I've scoured Equestria and returned with an obvious criminal element in society. This... Anonymous, was living in Ponyville, away from the eyes of the Royal Guard, and in close proximity to Princess Twilight no less! Clearly the Royal Guard has proven itself inadequate to unilaterally protect the citizens of Ponyville, the Alicorn Princesses and the citizens of Equestria at large from internal threats, as well as those presented by potential invaders."
>You blink.
>Celestia blinks.
"Um... That's... Blue Fuzz, what exactly has Anonymous done to break the law in Ponyville?"
>Blue Fuzz scrunches her face.
"Something, I'm certain!"
>She turns her head and scowls at you.
"He has to be some sort of dangerous criminal delinquent. Just look at him! He's so... different."

>Princess Celestia glares down at Blue Fuzz, standing up from her throne and flaring her wings out.
"Officer Blue Fuzz, do you mean to tell me that you have no absolutely no evidence to prove that Anonymous has committed any sort of crime whatsoever?"
>The lawpony looks frazzled.
"Uh, well. No! Not exactly. Even if I don't know, for sure, that he's done something wrong, he uh... He resisted arrest! He took off my handcuffs!"
>Celestia stares down at her, clearly nonplussed.
"Resisted arrest, huh. Then how did you manage to bring him all the way to Canterlot?"
>Blue falters.
"Uh. Well. He... He came pretty much of his own accord, actually. But only after breaking out of custody! And, uh, assaulting an officer of the law!"
>You raise an eyebrow.
>Celestia widens her eyes.
"He attacked you?"
"Uh, Yeah! Yes. He sure did! He used his size in an attempt to intimidate me, and when that failed, he scooped me up and shook me around. My hat even fell off!"
>Blue Fuzz smirks wickedly at you.
"I bet you thought you'd get away with such boorish behaviour, didn't you, degenerate?"
"How did you get it back?"
>Blue's grin drops immediately and she looks back to Celestia.
"Huh?"
>Celestia narrows her eyes.
"Your hat. How did you get it back? And furthermore, how did you escape from Anonymous' nefarious clutches?"
>Blue lowers her eyes to the ground.
"He... he gave it back to me after he let me down."
>Celestia closes her eyes and sighs.
"Very well then. I think I've heard enough."

>Celestia flares her wings out to their full span and snaps her eyes open in a flash of brilliant yellow light.
>Her body begins to glow with the same light filling her eyes.
"Officer Blue Fuzz,"
>Blue Fuzz's knees are shaking
>She has that same "about to cry" look on her face.
>Celestia starts floating into the air.
"Either you have come to stand before me today and chosen to lie to me, or you truly believe that Anonymous is a danger to society, in which case you have left him unrestrained and asked for no assistance in restraining him despite knowing you are incapable of doing so yourself."
>The "about to cry" look changes to a look of actually crying.
"Regardless of which it is, you have proven that you are unfit to continue serving as an official enforcer of Equestrian law."
>Blue's legs start to shake as the tears begin flowing down her cheeks.
"Princess, please, I-"
>Celestia unleashes a brilliant flare of light throughout the room, causing everyone to flinch and silencing Blue's appeal.
"Blue Fuzz, I hereby revoke your rank as Chief of Police in Canterlot."
>Blue winces as if Celestia had struck her.
"Furthermore,"
>Celestia's horn glows.
>The badge on Blue's chest glows the same, pulling away from her chest to float in the air between her and the Princess.
"You are officially stripped of your position as an officer of Equestrian law."
>The tiny silver heart badge bursts into brilliant white flame and is gone in an instant.
>Blue falls to her knees, looking like she's just been punched in the stomach.
"No..."
>She stares blankly, looking at the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks.
>Her hat tips, resting lopsided on her head before falling to the floor as her body is wracked by sobbing.

>The light dims as Celestia floats back down to the ground.
>The room is silent except for Blue Fuzz's quiet sobbing.
>Celestia's eyes close for a moment, returning to their normal appearance when she reopens them.
"Anonymous,"
>You snap to attention, straightening up at the Princess' address.
"It appears you have been greatly inconvenienced by Blue Fuzz's abuse of power. On behalf of Equestria, I offer you my deepest apologies."
>She bows her head down.
>You shrug awkwardly.
"It's not a big deal, really."
>Blue Fuzz suddenly cries out and runs out of the throne room, leaving her hat on the ground.
>Celestia ignores the outburst.
"If there is anything we can do to make it up to you, please, feel free to as-"
"I'm sorry Princess, I appreciate it, I just- I have to go."
>You quickly bend down to scoop up the tiny police hat and run out of the throne room after Blue.

>You run through the castle hall, looking for Blue.
>You ask the closest guard if he's seen her run through.
"Blue Fuzz? Oh, the academy reject who plays police pony downtown. Yeah, she came running through here crying about something or other. Probably ran out of sprinkle donuts at the bakery, haha, hah!"
>You roughly push him aside, slamming him into the wall beside you as you shove past.
"Don't know my own strength, sorry."
>You hear a groan in reply to your flat apology as you turn a corner and head for the entrance to the castle.
>You burst outside and see the same two guards as before.
"Blue Fuzz, did she come through here? Where was she going?"
>The guard with the appointment schedule answers.
"She came through here alright, bawling her eyes out for some reason. Not sure where she'd be headed, but more than likely to that rundown dump she considers a police station. She hardly goes anywhere else anyway. Honestly, it's kind of sad how her and her little friend have been allowed to play police for this long."
>You raise an eyebrow.
"What do you mean by that?"
>He rolls his eyes.
"Puh-leeze. It's not like Equestria actually needs a police force. Blue and Cherry are just a couple of losers too soft to make it through proper Royal Guard training that Princess Celestia felt bad for and gave a little pretend police station. Frankly, having her show up here again and again requesting repairs and equipment is just sad."
>You clench your fists.
"That Royal guard training sounds hard. Bet you must be pretty tough for getting through it."
>He smirks.
"Well, not to brag or anythi-"
>You punch him in the side of the jaw.
>You then slam your knee square into his chest, and again for good measure.
>You then grab him by the shoulders and twist around, hurling him down the front steps of the castle.
>You glare at his partner.
"He fell. Understood?"
>The guard pony nods.

>You run down the castle stairs and through the streets of Canterlot.
>You make it back to the police station and rush inside.
>You hear crying.
>You look inside the holding cell and see Blue Fuzz lying curled up on the cot, crying into the pillow.
>You step inside the doorway to the cell.
"Officer Blue Fuzz?"
>She perks her head up and looks at you with a sniffle.
>She glares and throws her pillow at your face.
"I'm not an Officer anymore and you know it!"
>You let the pillow bounce harmlessly off of your chest.
>Her face crumples and she immediately starts crying again, burying her face in her forelegs.
>You slowly step forward, kneeling down next to the cot.
>You reach out and gently place the police cap on Blue's head.
>She looks up in surprise as she feels you place the hat on her head.
>You quickly slip your hands below her forelegs and scoop her up into your arms.
>You sit on the cot, leaning back against the cell wall and hold the crying pony against your chest.
>She buries her face against your chest, her tears soaking into your shirt.
"I'm sorry Anonymous... I... I shouldn't have arrested you... I just... I wanted to..."
>You gently pet her mane beneath her police hat.
"Shh. It's okay. I understand, I think."
>She pulls her head back and looks up at you.
"You do?"
>You nod.
"I think so. I got some insight from a pretty clumsy guard."

>You carry Blue Fuzz with you back to the castle.
>The clumsy guard is leaning on his buddy
>Two other guards are at the base of the stairs while two more guard the door at the top.
>They immediately level their spears towards you.
>Clumsy points at you.
"Officer Blue Fuzz, arrest that human!"
>Blue Fuzz looks at him in confusion.
"Um... why?"
>Clumsy grits his teeth.
"He assaulted me!"
>Blue Fuzz looks up at you.
"Anonymous, is that true?"
>You smirk.
"Maybe. Shame there's no lawponies around to detain me and investigate such a serious accusation."
>The guards advance towards you, spears lowered.
>You set Blue Fuzz on the ground and step forward.
>You quickly grab one of the guards' spears, easily leveraging it from his hooves.
>You dodge the clumsy lunge of the second guard, stepping on the spear hilt and snapping the wooden shaft in half.
>A crowd has gathered around the castle, watching in confusion.
>You bring the undersized spear up to your shoulder and point at the closest unarmed guard..
"I want to speak to Princess Celestia. Here. Ask her to come outside."
>The guard looks conflicted, but retreats into the castle.
>More guards emerge from around the castle grounds, spears leveled towards you, but none daring to come close enough to use them.
>You wait.

>Minutes pass.
"Anonymous, what are you DOING?"
>You glance back at Blue Fuzz
"I appear to be holding the best soldiers in the Equestrian military at bay with a sharp stick. Pretty impressive, no?"
>She scrunches her face angrily at you.
>You catch movement from the corner of your eye.
>You turn and dodge one clumsy spear thrust that could have easily taken your neck out if it hit.
>You grab the hilt of the spear and yank it away from the guard who thrust it, hitting him in the back of his helmet with the shaft of the spear you already held.
>He staggers forward, carried by his own momentum as you knock him out.
>Two more guards decide to press in while you're distracted.
>You turn their thrusting spears aside easily with the two you now hold, but a third steps forward and stabs for your ribs.
>It connects, sending a streak of pain throughout your body as the spearhead slides between bones.
>You collapse to one knee, your dead weight wrenching the spear from its wielder.
"ANONYMOUS!"
>You flail a retaliatory swing at the helmet of your attacker as you fall, knocking him from his feet.
>You push yourself up, resting your weight on the two spears like weaponized crutches.
>The guards back away, spears still semi-circled around you.
>Blue Fuzz runs up from behind you.
"Anonymous, please, stop, you're hurt!"
>You feel yourself getting lightheaded from pain and blood loss.
>It's become incredibly hard to breathe.
>Your vision blurs and you register the sensation of yourself falling before the world goes black.

>You wake up lying on your back
>You're on the floor of the throne room.
>You feel warm.
>Everything around you has a soft yellow hue to it.
>Your side feels stiff, but the soreness is rapidly diminishing.
>Blue Fuzz is leaning over your face, looking concerned.
>Her eyes are watering.
>Beyond her you see Princess Celestia, straining herself as her horn glows with magic.
>You blink a few times, groaning as you sit up.
>You move your hand to your side.
>The spear wound is already closed.
"Anonymous!"
>Blue Fuzz throws her forelegs around you in a hug.
>You pat her back before pushing yourself up to your feet to face Celestia.
>She narrows her eyes at you.
"Anonymous, my guards have given me some rather disturbing reports. Please, explain yourself."
>You straighten your clothes out and slip your hands into your pockets.
"Princess Celestia... Blue Fuzz couldn't present any proper evidence of my criminal behaviour because she and her partner haven't been given nearly the resources necessary to fulfill their duties as officers of the law. Their station is in terrible disrepair, they are criminally understaffed, and the only official training they've received was as Royal Guards, a position that serves a primarily military function. Still, with all that working against her, Blue Fuzz was right. I am a dangerous criminal element, and need to be rehabilitated away from society."
>The room is silent.
>Blue Fuzz's mouth hangs open as she stares at you, wide-eyed.

>Princess Celestia glares at you.
"Anonymous, assaulting a member of the Royal Guard is a serious offense."
>You shrug in response.
"You were asking me earlier if there's any way you can make up for my being inconvenienced by the Canterlot police. You can, by reinstating Blue Fuzz as an officer and providing her with the resources and staff required to do her job properly. I will serve my sentence in her custody without any further resistance."
>You turn and glance down at the tiny blue pony.
"She is an exemplary officer of the law, when she hasn't been awake for two days straight and sleeping on a prison cot."
>Celestia screws up her expression before sighing.
"Anonymous, this is highly unorthodox, but... due to you previously good standing in my court, and assurance of cooperation I will heed your request to reinstate Blue Fuzz as chief of the Canterlot police, as well as look into organizing repairs for the station and improvements to their procedures. Blue Fuzz, please, step forward."
>Blue Fuzz walks forward cautiously, head low.
"It appears I was too hasty in my dismissal of your position. Whatever methods you were using to restrain Anonymous were more effective than the brute force displayed by the Royal Guard, and perhaps it was unfair of me to expect you to police Canterlot without providing you the ponies and facilities to do so. In light of recent events, and upon the request of a friend of the Equestrian court, I hereby reinstate you to the position of Chief of Police, and officer of Equestrian law."
>A warm yellow light glows on Blue's Chest as a shiny new badge forms attached to her.
>Her eyes are watering.
"Thank you, Princess Celestia! I promise I won't let you or the citizens of Equestria down ever again!"
>Celestia smiles warmly.
"I know you won't, my little pony. Now, for your first official duty back on the job..."
"Right!"

>Blue Fuzz hurls herself into your legs.
>You fall to the floor with a surprised cry.
>Blue pushes you onto your front, climbing up onto your back.
"Freeze, dirtbag!"
>Blue steps her hoof onto the back of your head, shoving your face against the floor.
"Anonymous, you are under arrest for the crime of assaulting a member of the Royal Guard. As you have already confessed to Princess Celestia, you will be taken to the Canterlot Police department and kept in a holding cell until such time as the Princess decides your official sentence."
>She hops off your back and kicks you in the ribs, hard.
"Up on your feet, degenerate, you'll have plenty of time to lie down once you're behind bars."
>You push yourself up to your feet and follow the officer out of the castle and back to the police station.
>She opens up the holding cell door, shutting it after you as you step inside.
"Get comfy, buster. You'll be in there for a long time."
>You smirk and lie down on the cot.
>After a few hours a locksmith shows up to repair the cell door.
>After he leaves, Blue Fuzz grins malevolently through the bars at you.
"There goes your last chance at freedom, dirtbag. This lock'll hold you inside for a good long while."
>You stand up and give the bars a tug.
>Yep, they're solid.
"Well. I guess you won't have to be spending any more nights here."
>You smirk.
>Blue scrunches her face up, a blush crawling over her cheeks.
"That's right, you slimeball! Now, I have to go. Official police business. Cherry Top will be by later to give your your dinner."
>She turns abruptly on her heels and heads out the door of the station.
>Hours pass.
>Cherry comes by in the evening to feed you, mills about the station for about an hour and then leaves.
>Night falls.
>You lie on your side on your cot and try to fall asleep.
>It's going to be a long few months.

>You're awoken in the night by the sound of clanging metal.
>You sit up and rub your eyes.
>You look to see the silhouette of a pony turning the key in the lock of your cell.
>She slides the door open and steps inside, closing it behind herself without locking it.
>Your eyes start to adjust to the dark as she hops up onto your legs.
>You make out the outline of a police hat on her head.
>She crawls onto your lap, nuzzling her head against your chest.
>She plants a hoof on your chest, pushing you down onto your back.
>She drapes her body over you, snuggling her head against your chest.
>You slip your hand below her hat, petting her mane.
>She relaxes over top of you.
"Thank you, Anonymous. Thank you so much."
>You smile and absently pet Blue Fuzz's head as the two of you slowly drift off to sleep.

FIN