just this thing i didn't bin way back whenever
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>You are Anon
>You woke up in the woods a few days ago and managed to wander into a village.
>Thing is, the village is full of horses.
>Tiny, unnaturally-coloured horses.
>You thought it was cute at first; somebody had set up a big ol' mock village for their pets to play in.
>That was until the horses stopped acting like horses and started acting like intelligent creatures.
>They whinneyed and knickered at each other as though they actually understood - like they had a spoken language.
>Two days ago, you were convinced that you were hallucinating.
>Yesterday, you were pretty sure that you were in a coma instead and this was all a dream.
>Today, after two days of sleeping on the hard ground, you are willing to accept that this might actually be real.
>You are Anon, and you are currently trying to sell your shirt.
"C'mon, who wants it?"
>You wave your shirt around, trying to gather attention.
"It's a really nice shirt, everybody. I bought it on sale at Walmart for ten dollars."
>A couple of horses stop to look at you, but most of them turn around and just walk away.
>........
>.....horses don't wear clothes.
>Fuck.
>This is the worst.
>"Whiiiirrrhrhhuhruhuh!"
>A horse noise captures your attention.
>Six horses stand before you, each standing next to each other in a line.
>You got a white horn-horse, a purple horn-horse, a blue wing-horse, a yellow wing-horse, an orange horse-horse, and a pink horse-horse.
>Do THESE horses want the shirt?
>Do horses eat shirts, or is that goats?
>Fuck it, they're close enough.
>Maybe purple horses with horns eat shirts.

>You give your shirt a nice wave and hold it out by the shoulders, giving each of these potential customers a look at what you got to sell.
"It's plaid. A nice red plaid. You see these buttons?"
>You grab your shirt by the collar with one hand and fiddle around with the buttons on front with the other.
"Real plastic. You guys eat plastic, right?"
>God, you feel weak.
>You ate a bunch of plants and leaves, but they don't seem to be doing too much in ways of nutrition.
>You can't really focus that well, and you aren't 100% sure of what you're saying right now.

>The white horn-horse breaks formation and walks closer to inspect your goods, despite all the other horses neighing and stomping their hooves at her.
>It?
>Her.
>Yeah, you can see EVERYTHING on these horses.
>It's been a long 3 days, so you had nothing better to do than look at horse pussy.
>You're reasonably sure you have a handle on horse biology; the females are more circular and the males tend to be a bit more boxy.
>Quicker than your tired-ass brain can respond to, the white horn-horse horn-glows your shirt right out of your hands and brings it close to her face to inspect it.
>Finally, a sale!
>.....
>Wait, fuck.
>What do these horses use as currency?
>Do they even HAVE currency?
>Fuck's sake. You just gave away your shirt for free, didn't you?
>This shit's the worst.
>The orange horse walks up to the white horse and makes quiet horse noises at her.
>The white horse's ears go all floppy and she hands the shirt back to you.
>Fuck!
>You really thought you had something there.
>Goddammit.
>The six horses all form a circle and make a bunch of horse noises at each other, occasionally poking their heads up to look at you.
>The blue one starts staring, so you wave at her; she immediately pulls her head back into the circle of horses.
>It's just a few seconds longer until they break away and walk over to you.
>They all stop about three feet away from you, except for one.

>The blue one you waved at trots smartly over to you and does that weird horse-laugh where they pull back their lips and bear their teeth.
>After that, she bats at your chest with a blue hoof.
>She doesn't stop.
>Why is she rubbing you?
>Half-delirious, you decide that the best course of action is to pull the blue horse into your lap and hug her.
>Fuuuuuuck, she's soft.
>All that not food you were eating suddenly catches up to you, and you pitch sideways and fall unconscious.

>You are Twilight, and you are shaking your head at this pitiful display.
>You'd received word about a strange minotaur in town, but you didn't think it sounded too dangerous.
>Just an hour ago, a bunch of concerned ponies informed you that the minotaur was a prostitute, and you decided to investigate.
>This town is too nice to have prostitutes!
>Ponyville has a poor enough reputation as it is thanks to all those disasters that strike (some of which you may or may not have a hoof in on)
>What you saw nearly broke your heart.
>The creature, eyes glazed over, was sitting in the middle of town, flaunting his body for everypony to see.
>He was clothed from head to foot except for the torso-cloth he was waving around - trying to drum up business, you guess.
>What a poor state he was in.
>The first thing he did when he saw the Elements of Harmony was to show off his lingerie.
>But you know what to do.
>You'll take him home, give him a bath, cook him a nice meal, and let him sleep in your bed!
>Rainbow laughed at you when you said all that and called you a dyke.
>In the end, Rainbow Dash offered him bits for his service and he gladly accepted.
>Belly-to-belly rutting?
>2lewd4you.
>You all walked away to give them a bit of privacy.

And then they fucked.
End.