Welcome to my collection of shorts, shitposts and comfy oneshots.
Fair warning. Some of these are lewd, you have been warned.

Alternate NMM timeline /RGRE/

>You lay on your silken pillows in the ornate throne room you now call your own.
>Now the only banners that decorate the room are of your moon.
>Your guards surround you, devoted to the protection of their queen.
>You feel the soft hands of your lover leave you and turn to address this outrage.
>Anon lies against your barrel, taking the position of little spoon.
>His hands are NOT currently tending to your royal belly, but why?
>You notice his face is turned towards the entryway to the throne room and follow his gaze.
>Oh.
>It seems your guest of honor has arrived.
>Before you stands Celestia. Her wings tied to her back and her horn adorned with a magic nullifier.
>Despite her current predicament her face is still one of stark defiance.
>The servants currently fanning you, seeing their former ruler captured and incapacitated so easily.
>A stern glare sends them back to their jobs with a doubled fervour.
"Oh, how delightful to see you sister."
>Your voice is haughty and cocky.
>Her face only seems to get more furious.
>Anonymous snuggles back into position and continues to stoke your regal tummy.
>"How dare you NMM."
>"First you take over my sister, then my kingdom. And as if that wasn't enough. "
>Celestia's face falls into a forlorn frown.
>"You steal my love."
>You laugh proudly as Anon snuggles you close.
"Guards, servants, Leave us."
> quick growl sends them fumbling through the door.
>You pull yourself up slowly and stroll over to Celestia. Brushing by her side.
"Oh my dear, sweet sister."
"It was YOU who stole my sovereignty from ME when you took our subjects love of my night for your day."
>Anon smiles and makes his way around Celestias other wither.
"I have always wanted to rule with you, not under you."
>Celestia squeaks as Anon reaches her flank and gives her a light spank.
"So what do you say sister."
>Anon gets down and breaths his hot breath onto your sisters nethers.
>Her face is bright red as she bites her lip.
[spoiler]"Want to share?"[/spoiler]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fleur propositions anon as an 'escort'. Anon misunderstands. /RGRE/

>"And this is our resident princess and social autist Princess Twilight's castle.  Also known as the Royal Equestrian Tribune of Anti-social and Related Disturbances Castle."
"Uh"
"We usually just refer to it as R.E.T.A.R.D Castle"
>"Well... that's just lovely."
>Celestia you wish the sexy ape creature would stop going on about all of the landmarks and just take you straight home for some hot monkey dickings.
>"Next we have the bakery called Sugar cube corner, also known as the New, Indulgence and Greed Grotto, Enter in Rear-"
"I wish you would"
>"Pardon"
"I said uh, so how about you take me to see your place now? You could give me a tour of it, maybe your bedroom."
>"Huh, I doubt my house is that interesting. Maybe it is though? I do tend to get a lot of visitors there." Anon laughs softly.
> You start to breath more heavily and lick your lips.
"I bet you do."
>You slink up close to him putting on a sly smile.
>"So how about we head there right now and you can show me just why all of those mares come to see you."
>"Eh, I don't get THAT many mares. Most of the time it's stallion friends."
>You think you're leaking.
>Ha you should see the wild sleep over we had this one time, we were up 'till sunrise. Could barely feel my limbs after that one.
>Sweet Sun and Moon and all that is holy, how did you find this stallion? You feel your forelegs try to bend so that you can present yourself. You're using all of your self control right now desperately trying not to jump on and mount him right here.
> You're going to have to ask if he wouldn't mind bringing one of his stallion friends with him sometime.

>"Hey, you okay, need some water or-"
>His soft touch causes you to jump.
"YOUR SEMEN"
>Oh fuck now the entire street is looking at you.
>"Anon?"
>"Oh hi Twilight, what are you doing out today?"
>She seems happy to talk to the biped and wears a small smile.
>"Just making sure there are no, uh... friendship problems today. Didn't even know you were here, heh, heh. I don't even know any tracking spells."
>Her face is now wetter than your nethers as she sweats profusely trying to keep her fake smile.
>"Hmm." Anon puts his hand on his face and looks as Twilight suspiciously.
>His face returns to normal quickly.
>"Okay, well have fun Twilight I gotta tour to do."
>You and Twilight speak simultaneously.
"Wait, tour?"
>"Wait, tour?"
>She seems shocked when she looks your direction. She didn't even realise you were here until now?
>Her face is one of confusion when she sees you. Quite quickly it turns to an annoyed frown when she realises why you're here.
>Guess your reputation with 'escorts' precedes you.
>"Anon, you're 'escorting' Fleur?"
>"Yeah she paid good money for it too. Not sure why she'd want me in particular though?"
>Suddenly it all makes sense; he really was just an escort. Damn, now you're just sad.
>You're about to hang your head in shame when you notice Twilight looking at you with a face of pure jealousy and hate.

>... Well, in for a bit, in for a... huh. Our monetary system is fucking stupid.
>You wear a cocky smile and you stride up to Anon and wrap your hoof around his leg.
"Yes actually. Anon was just about to 'escort' me to his home."
>Twilights face gets even more furious.
"He's a damn good salesmare too. He gave me a GREAT price for what I'm getting."
>You give her a wink as your smile grows to near legendary shit-eating levels.
>You see Twilight's horn glow lightly as her face glows redder and redder. You move slightly further behind Anon.
>"Uh, well thanks I guess Fleur." He seems obvious to Twilights condition as he talks to you.
>"Well it's been great seeing you, it's a nice change from all those cards you usually send." Anon scratches his head. "Don't know why you always send me pictures of yourself in socks though. I mean, are they that comfy?"
>"Anyway I'll see you later Twilight. C'mon Fleur."
>He slaps you on the ass and pulls you over his shoulder.
>"I've got horsepussy to fuck."
>You flinch in surprise. But recover as he starts to walk off to his home and hoof pump. You give Twilight one last wink with your extra 'eye'.
"Score!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ponies are amazed by simple tricks. (Shitpost)

>"And now Equestria will bow to me alone."
>Chrysalis sits in Celestia's throne room as she gloats to the entire room.
>The room is covered in changelings wearing guard armor and wielding weapons. Any ponies are bound or too scared to act.
>The elements of harmony stand off to the side, tied up and defeated.
>The diarchs of the country lay defeated in the dungeon, unable to escape.
>Chrysalis hops off of her newly acquired throne and strolls in front of the main 6.
>Her face is devilish, her smile evil and haughty.
>"Silly little ponies. Thinking that you ever stood a chance against the Changeling Empire."
>Twilight speaks up.
>"N- no. You'll never win here Chrysalis. The power of friendship always comes through in the end!"
>"Oh?"
>Chrysalis laughs as she flicks Twilights horn with a hoof, causing her to wince and recoil.
>"You don't seem to understand my /little/ pony."
>She draws her head up to full height, towering over the ponies below her as her smile widens and sharpens.
>"You have already lost you impetuous little twerp."
>"The castle lies at my hooves. Your princesses completely at my mercy. An entire military coup achieved with just a few hundred changelings making their way to officer positions.
>Her smile would outgrow her face if were to grow any larger.
>"And best of all. No petulant 'power of love' spewing couples to get in my way."
>"This world is mine now Twilight" She sneers the name out.
>"There is no one to stop me now."
>"NO!"
>Everyone in the room turns to the pink mare with a bubbly pink mane sitting next to Twilight. Her face hard and full of sheer confidence.
>"There is one."
>"Chrysalis stares at her confused. "What do you me-"
>She is interrupted as the doors to the throne room creak open slowly.
>The entire room now turns to stare at the figure in the doorway.

>It's tall figure steps into the room slowly. Dressed in a suit and a tie, a green face with no defining features other than a large black question mark.
>"Anon!" Pinkie exclaims.
>Many of the guards by the door rush to surround him.
>"Don't!" Comes a cry from behind the creature.
>A frightened changeling hovers behind it.
>"Don't mess with it. Its magic is too strong!"
>He motions to the outside of the room where a mass of changelings lie defeated in a pile.
>The spears of many of the changeling guards in the room begin to shake and tremble.
>The creature steps into the room, the changeling guards moving back as he grows closer to the centre.
>After covering a forth of the room the creature stops and stares at Chrysalis.
>Chrysalis is pissed. She stands and moves to meet the creature in the centre of the room.
>"Guards, Stand down. Leave this little colt to me."
>She stops 10 feet from him as the stand and stare each other down.
>Her face is determined, hard and firm.
>"Do."
>"Your."
>"Worst"
>The 'o' under the question mark on the creatures face bends into a solid 'u'.
>It puts its hoof-spiders together and shows its thumb sticking out of the side.
>"What are you even doing?"
>Suddenly, it rips its thumb from its hand!
>You don't see any blood but it must have. Look, it's got the thumb held in its other hand!
>Chrysalis face falters as she looks on confused.
>"Wh- why would you injure yourself like that."
>It continues to smile as it shoves the thumb back onto its hand.
>He shows both his hands again to the room.
>Its thumb is attached to its hand again! What black magic is this!?
>It starts to walk towards chrysalis and pulls out what looks like a magician's wand.
>Chrysalis tries to stand strong and stand the creature down, but can't help but feel a deep, primal fear.

>The creature grabs the end of the wand with its hand and wiggles it up and down.
>"What are you- Oh my hive-mother!"
>The wand is no longer solid. But flexible! The monster can manipulate matter with just a flick of its wrist.
>Chrysalis starts to shrink back as the creature continues to approach.
>This can't get any worse.
>The creature continues to transmutate the pencil and uses its other hand to pull a spoon out of its other pocket. Its face changes to a blank stare of concentration.
>"N- no, please."
>He wobbles it up and down and sure enough it bends just like the wand.
>Someone in the crowd screams and runs out.
>Chrysalis is petrified in pace, her face a look of pure terror.
>As the creature reaches her he stops wobbling the items and they return back to their states.
>"Sun save us all"
>He drops them to the ground and pulls out something from his back pocket.
>He holds up a coin and then places it on the back of his hand. Chrysalis stares at it in absolute unparrarelled fear.
>He puts his other palm over the coin, shakes it and reveals the hand to no longer have the coin.
>A light trickling sound could be heard below Chrysalis as she emptied her bladder.
>Her breath hitches in her through when he moves his hand closer to her and eventually behind her head.
>"I- Ill stop. I'll be good I promise. I'll spend my life helping ponies! I'll share my love with them I swear!"
>The creature's blank expression lifts into a smile.
>He pulls the coin out from behind Chrysalises ear.
>She faints.
>The creature turns to face to the other terrified ponies in the room.
>[spoiler]"Not RGRE enough"[/spoiler]

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tiddies /RGRE/ (I like pony  breasts)

>>29715916
>"A- anon, please."
>Pressing your face in-between Twilight's meager mammaries you grab them, smooshing them against your face. Shaking from side to side you try to get a good motorboat going.
>"Woah, nice going Twilight, how'd you get him to do that?"
>"What!? I just said Pinkies breasts were too large and wouldn't be that great for taking care of her stallion!"
>Pulling your face out of her petty pa-ta-tas you frown.
"3/10, too small to get a good grip and little to no jiggle."
>Twilight blushes harder. "Wh- what? But I thought stallions liked small breasts?"
>A sombre looking Pinkie quickly changes to surprise as you give your review to Twilight.
>Grabbing Pinkie by the withers you toss her back and shove your face in her bouncy baby-feed bags.
>Her huge hug-sacks feel plush and soft against your face.
>The soft velvety feeling of heaven continues as you shake your head in between them, grabbing them bountifully and hugging them to your face.
>Pinkie squeals in surprise and stars giggling.
>"Wowie-powie Anon, you're pretty rough."
>Laying your head in-between her big, bloated bunnies, you sigh in contentment.
"Tiddies~"
>Pulling yourself out of her double-decker donuts you smile as you register the blushes on the face of everypony at the table.
"8/10, nice bounce. Easy to grip, soft as a kitten and smell like fresh bread."

>Twilight speaks up from your side.
>"Bu- but they're all big and useless and silly. W- why Anon."
>Pinkie just sits with a smug smile and deep red blush before turning and addressing you.
>"Hey, Anon. N- no stallions usually ask, but do you wanna come see the rest of the bakery? We're all out of milk and I sure could use your help getting some more~"
"Sure, Pinkie I'd love to. But don't you need a whole ton of milk to run a bakery; I think we need an extra source."
>You both turn to the side simultaneously to see Fluttershy starting at you wide-eyed. She gets up to run, her massive, milky, mare melons swing below her, knocking her off balance.
>Grabbing her quickly you lift her up and rub your face against her great, gigantic, gentle pony knockers.
"9/10. Soft and squishy, meld to your face, smell like fresh cut grass and could be used to suffocate someone." 
>She squeals as you and Pinkie run her into the back and upstairs.
>"No Anon, I'm still sore from last tiiiiiiiiiiiiime!"
>Dash and Twilight look down at their small snugglers sadly and speak simultaneously.
>"S- stupid stallion."
>"D- dumb stallion."
>A loud clopping can be heard as a large white Alicorn enter Sugarcube Corner.
>Princess Celestia walks wide legged to make room for her gigantic and godly, full and filling, opulent and over-sized, tremendous teats. They swing like coconuts from a tree on a breezy day, letting out small droplets of white liquid as she steps.
>"Oh, hello my dear Student. You wouldn't happen to have seen Anon would you? He... usually /helps me out/ when I get like this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Pregnant Fluttershy and Dash to trigger some Anon. (Comfy)

>*Click*
>The door behind you closes with a light click as you attempt to sneak into your home.
>Shuffling past the doormat and into the entryway quietly, you take your hat off and place it at the top of the coat rack.
>Looks like you're getting better at sneaking.
>Hanging your coat on the rack you bend down to take off your boots.
"DADDY!"	
"Omph-"
>You're tackled to the floor by your bright peach daughter. Who wraps her hooves around your chest; she peppers your face relentlessly with kisses.
>You laugh softly as she continues her endless assault.
>Grabbing her by the sides you begin to tickle her furiously.
>"D- dad please, hahahaha-"
>From deeper in the house you hear the heavenly voice of your beautiful wife.
>"Anonymous, are you home dear?"
>Her voice is silky and light as a cloud, perfect for loving whispers and sweet nothings.
>Picking up your daughter and placing her on your shoulders you step into the living room.
>"Yay, upsies!"
>Your nose is seduced the second you enter the living room. The delightful smell of a home cooked dinner waiting for you and the rest of the family to enjoy.
>Dash swoops over to hug your upper body when she sees you enter the room.
>"Home a little late today Anon, those mares at the office weren't hitting on you again were they? I swear I'll-"
>You cut her off with a deep kiss, pushing your tongue deep into her muzzle. Not to be outdone she uses the brute strength and size of her flat pony tongue to wrestle yours into submission.
>Disconnecting from her leaves a thin trail of saliva connecting your mouths.
>"Heh, nice try big guy."
>She moves her muzzle close to your ear and whispers into it.
>"But you know I'll always be on top~"
>Climbing down from your body, you can now spot the small foal lying nestled in Dashes wings, sleeping soundly still.

>Walking over to the couch you sit next to the prone Fluttershy, lying on her back she feeds a different foal from each of her melon sized teats.
>"H- hey love."
>Pulling your daughter off of your shoulders, you place her on the ground and kiss her lightly on the muzzle.
>"Go set the table dear, we'll be there soon."
>She gives you a quick salute as she runs off to the dining room.
>Closing the distance between your and Fluttershys mouths you give her a similarly deep kiss as you did Dash. Her tongue is nowhere near as disobedient as Dashes however as she wraps yours into a tight embrace with it.
>You whisper to her lightly.
"You made dinner today?"
>She gives you a small shy smile and nods, her blush still encompassing most of her muzzle.
"Even while having to look after 3 foals, you're still thinking about everyone else."
>Kissing her on the nose you address her once more.
"That's why you're my alpha mare."
>The rest of the night is peaceful, you eat dinner with your family, enjoying the sweet sound of the phonograph as it plays into the night.
>Settling down into bed, or nest, more appropriately. Dash curls up on your crotch, laying her head on your belly as a pillow, her smallest foal still nuzzled into her wings.
>Fluttershy hugs your upper body tightly, her large mameries pressed firmly against your side. Her two youngest foals lying in a cot near the bed.
>She whispers quietly in her sleep, "I- I do, forever and ever~-"
>Sighing happily you quietly whisper to yourself.
[spoiler] "RGRE is infested with pregfags. There's not a single topic they wouldn't derail to talk about their shit. You should be used to it at this point. Sadly, it's been like this for a long time now. "[/spoiler]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MST3K was an amazing show. /moon/ (Shitpost)

>>29755015
>Nightmare Moon chuckles as she speaks.
>"So then, the crying gryphon says: 'I can't help having a small pecker, I'm from Griffinstone!'"
>Sombra laughs at NMMs tomfoolery.
>"You're right Moon, they're so tiny."
>A piercing whistle echoes from behind them both as Chrysalis comes running up.
>She appears to have dressed herself in a poorly constructed gryphon outfit fashioned from some brown woollen socks and a wool hat, as well as tying an ice cream cone around her muzzle to act as a beak.
>"ENOUGH! I say there has been FAR too many lies about gryphon dicks and I'm here to give the long and short of it!"
>NMM quips in quickly.
>"I think you mean just the /short/ of it."
>Sombra can't stop laughing, wiping tears from his glowing eyes.
>"Good one Moon! Ha, they are so tiny."
>Chrysalis' cheeks tint red in frustration.
>"Stop it now! We shall offer our Gryphon friends this song of kinship."
>Clearing her throat, she begins to sing, accompanied by the sudden addition of Pinkie beginning to play 4 instruments at once while still holding the camera.

"Oh I wish I was back in old Griffinstone
A land in which wonder comes in mass
How I long for an 8 inch, brutish, birdie, gryphon bone
Maybe I'll even get one in my ass"

>Sombra and NMM stare at each other incredulously for a moment before NMM taps Chrysalis on the wither.
>"Hey I got one."

"Oh I hope I can travel to the valleys of the Marrs
Getting frisky with some huge, dumb gryphon guy hunting herds
Then he'd turn over and show his tiny pecker to the stars
And tell me he's the girthiest of the birds"

>Chrysalis is getting extremely flustered now.
>"Stop that!"
>Sombra sees his opportunity and steps in.

"Yes I wish I was in the place that gave us dick extenders
Cock rings and aggressive Viagra too
Nah I take it back, I wouldn't go there even for the benders
Oh Griffinstone, your dicks just measure up too few"

>Chrysalis whines in offence.
>"Now this is not what I meant when I said a song of kinship!"
>NMM pipes up from out of her laughter.
>"Oh come on, give in. They gave us the penis pump. And Thrush!"
>Sombra voices his opinion too.
>"Yeah what are you defending? They're cocks are so ditty!"
>Chrysalis sighs in defeat.
>"Okay, I'll try."

"Oh I wish I was invading random gryphon towns
And sucking love from innocents in the street
Releasing changeling drones as well as all the dickhounds
No doubt this is where love and rape will meet"

>NMM speaks much more worried now.
>"Ohh-kay, that might be a little too muc-"
>Chrysalis laughs manically now.
>"No- no, you were right Moon. THIS IS FUN!"

"Just where the hell do gryphons get off sharing a border
With the huge dicked horse and pony nations
Why you tiny, worthless, mangaphobic, meat loving bastards
Your county's just heading for mass castratio-"

>NNM and Sombra rush to stop her singing, shouting simultaneously.
>"WOAH, WOAH, woah, woah.-"
>"Okay I think that's enough, err I think we're going to- Pinkie stop filming."
>Chrysalis weeps wildly.
>"No, I have no sense of proportion; I'm a disgrace to my species."
>NMM looks at her incredulously.
>"Why are you dressed up anyway; can't you shapeshift?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RHVoFpncgA

-------------------------------------------------------
Not sure why I wrote this. (Action?)

>*Thwack*
>Air escapes your lungs in abundance as you stare at the huge quilled tail penetrating the stone an inch from your neck.
>Taking the initiative, you quickly roll to the side, narrowly avoiding being chewed to death by the creature's huge maw.
>Bringing your longsword down on the manticore's side causes it to bounce off the monsters incredibly thick hide ineffectually.
"Holy shit!"
>Not wasting a second, the creature drags its tail from the sizable dent it made in the wall, whipping it around to strike at your weapon.
>You fail to keep grip, noted by the *clank* sound as your sword rockets out of your hand and slams against the dimly lit cave wall.
>Honestly you didn't really think this whole 'Adventurer' thing out that well.
>Doesn't help that no mares wanted to come with you since they claimed that: "A colt wouldn't last 2 days, even with help."
>Razor sharp spines are flung from the tail of the massive beast; you dodge immediately but fail to get out of the way of all of them in time.
>It's been a day and 2 hours now, you really hope you prove them wrong.
>A few spines slice through your clothing, cutting skin as they graze you slightly, the immediate pain causes you to lose balance and fall.
>Clutching at your wounds on the ground you spot the creature lifting its body to slam its claws down onto you.
"No!"
>You sideways roll out of the way, a deafening *SLAM* comes from your side as the monster impacts with the rocky floor.
"I, am Anonymous!"
>You rise quickly to your knees at the creature's side.
"Monster slayer!"
>Your arm rockets towards your boot.
"Pony ponut destroyer!"
>Your hand wraps around the dagger you keep stowed in your boot.
"Autistic alien!"
>Grabbing tightly you hold it far above your head.
"And I will not die this day!"
>You plunge the dagger into the hulking beast's side, piercing the thick hide and sending spurts of blood pouring out of the wound.

>You turn to stare at the no doubt pained look of terror on the monsters face.
>But, it just seems to stare at you awkwardly and confused.
>With a long sweep of its thick, quilled tail, it sends your flying into the same wall as it sent your weapon.
>Which, speaking of, is now right next to you!
>Shame you can't feel the right side of your body though, it would really help right now.
>The monster flicks your dagger out of its body with a small swipe of its tail, sending it straight to the floor.
>Huh, guess a dagger to the side doesn't do much to a fully grown manticore. Who could have guessed?
>A pang of fear runs through you as the monster approaches your sitting form, leaning your back against the cave wall it threw you against.
>It moves slowly and deliberately, enjoying toying with its prey.
>You desperately attempt to reach for your weapon but fail to accomplish much. Your arm feels almost completely numb.
>It doesn't matter much now anyway you think. Seeing as the creature stands tall above you, lifting its tail for the final blow.
>As you close your eyes, the only thing that seems to come to mind is how Dash said you wouldn't survive 3 hours...
>Showed that bitch.
>"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
>A high pitched battle-cry roars out from behind the manticore, the sound of metal meeting flesh rings out through the cave as the beast gives a blood-chilling howl.
>Your lap feels heavy and pokey. Looking down and opening your eyes your see a large portion of the manticores quilled tail lying on top of your legs.
>Huh.
>Raising your head reveals the reason. A Pony is clad in thick steel plate armor that covers them almost entirely.
>An oversized battleaxe is being held in the pony's mouth. Using their momentum, the pony sings the axe at the beast's barrel.
>The manticore jumps back instantaneously, just barely dodging the attack.
>Raising a hoof to their head, the pony flicks a strap and reveals her head. Long stands of pink hair flow down around her as she pulls her helmet off.

>...
>Why the hell is Fluttershy in full plate armor?
>Letting out another thunderous war-cry she charges at the creature, it flinches in reaction, giving her an opportunity to strike.
>The axe slices through the monsters wither effortlessly, leaving a gaping wound pouring blood.
>It doesn't take long for the beast to cry out in pain and fall to the ground, the blow probably hitting its spine from the front.
>You cheer at her success.
"Woo-hoo! Good work Fluttershy! Now get over her and help me u-"
>You stop when you notice how she hasn't finished attacking.
>Heavy slams and meaty slicing noises accompany every overblown swing she makes into the creatures body.
>It stops crying out after the third, but she shows no sign of stopping, lopping off pieces of the creature's torso in gory fashion.
"Uh, Fluttershy?"
>Dropping her axe she goes to work with her hooves, stomping on the monsters head with wild abandon, shouting at the top of her lungs.
>"Don't you DARE touch my husbando you big, ugly, meanie!"
>Oh god what is she doing to the corpse now; that doesn't even go there.
"Fluttershy!"
>Your shout seemingly broke her out of her trance as she comes rushing over to you.
>She hugs you tightly, nuzzling her face into your chest covering you in manticore gore.
>"Oh Anon, I was so worried! I heard you were going to adventure alone and I spent the entire day looking for you."
"You went looking for me? Heh, thanks Fluttershy... but why did you care about me so much?"

>You sit comfortably on a small hill in Ponyville Park, below you is a chequered cloth, as well as a full, homemade spread of picnic food.
>You sit back leaning against a tree, using its shade as relief from the glowing summers sun.
>You keep your left hand busy preening Fluttershys large wings, running your hand along the base all the way to the wingtip.
>Every time you realign a primary, she wriggles and giggles in ticklish joy.

>Her soft body rests gently against your stomach; her fur tickles you every time she takes a deep breath. The smell of freshly trimmed daisies flows from her into your nose.
>"Anon!"
>Oh great, Twilight 'Shine like electrum, 'cause I'm on the spectrum' Sparkle.
>You sigh.
"Yes, Twilight?"
>"I told you Anon, the law only says that stallions have to marry their saviours, you're a man right? And it's an old law anyway; we don't HAVE to follow it!"
She looks at you pleading, her face frazzled and her mane dishevelled.
"Uh, yeah, that's great Twi. But I'm pretty sure that I'm a stallion legally though, not to mention it would be grossly inappropriate to disobey the law, no matter how old it is."
You give Fluttershy a small scratch on the top of her head.
"So I guess I got no choice but to go along with it."
>You shrug at her. Well, half shrug considering your arm is still casted.
>Fluttershy just cuddles closer to your chest.
"We've got a lot to do today, planning the wedding, buying a cot, so I guess we'll see you later."
>You go back to brushing Fluttershy's wing.
>Twilight slumps dejectedly before turning to walk away.
>Fluttershy looks up at you sadly, giving you puppy dog eyes.
>...
>Man, why can't you just have one goddamn waifu?
>You know you may regret this.
>"Hey, Twi."
>Twilight swivels her ears to listen to you.
>"I... guess you helped Fluttershy scry my location right? So that kinda makes you my saviour too."
>A giddy squee escapes her throat as she turns and hops straight to your side, hugging your chest tightly.
>Fluttershy wraps a free wing around her friend, hugging her close and nuzzling Twilights muzzle with her own, causing a deep blush to fill her face.
>They stare at each other intently, the color red chalking their muzzles.
>Your right arm may still be in a cast for a month, but you still don't regret a thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anon the legendary dragon-layer. /RGRE/ 

>C'mon Anon, you can do this. Just like Celestia instructed.
>Get in there, strut your stuff and finish this war before it begins.
>Both dragonesses that lead you here open the wide door in front of you.
>As you step inside you notice the only occupant sitting atop her tremendous horde.
>The door behind you slams shut, leaving you alone with the royal dragoness.
>A few solid gold coins topple and roll from the gigantic pile as she slithers down from her vantage.
>"So, you are the pitiful creature that has threatened my kingdom?"
>She crawls over to you, serpentine and dangerous.
"Well, more like 'bartered with.'"
>Her eyes narrow as she stands up at full height in front of your, her hot breath escaping her fiery mouth as she speaks.
>"You dare to insult a Queen by wagging your silvery tongue, beast!?"
>You are about to flinch when you notice her full height is still a whole foot shorter than you.
>She seems to notice too if the indignant yet surprised looks she's giving you is anything to go on.
>You gain a sly grin.
"Don't play dumb with me Emby"
>Her face takes on a tiny blush as you give her a pet name.
>"Insolent male whelp! You dare-"
>You grab her by her scaly waist; you pull her close to your body.
"We both know what my kind is capable of, Dragon."
>Her face falters at your actions and words, she desperately tries to keep the facade of stoicism up, but her growing blush betrays her.
"The war would be ultimately fruitless."
>You run your hand down her side, resting it on her smooth ass cheek.
"With me on the ponies side, I would 'spear' every dragoness that comes close."
>Her face shows open fear now, the wetness on her thighs indicates her arousal however.
"Luckily, I come to you with a compromise."
>You slap her on the ass, causing her to yelp.
"Sacrifice yourself to me, and no dragoness with  feel the wrath of my 'spear' or 'silvery tongue'."
>She breaks from your grasp, falling to the ground and shuffling to her horde desperately.
"You on the other hand, will feel them daily."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anon teaches Luna modern Equish. (Shitpost)

"Okay Moons, let's start out easy."
>"My Sweet, please. Forsooth we do not request thou address us by our title, for thou art our beloved. But 'Moons' is far from fitting for Princess of the nightly domain, truly."
"You see, that's what I'm talking about Moonie, way too formal and you use all those middle-English words."
>"Middle-Equish, dear Anonymous. And We do not see why We should butcher our linguistic principals simply because other ponies choose to do so themselves. After all, as a great pony once said: 'There is nothing healthy about being well adjusted to a profoundly sick society'."
"Right, right. Still though, it couldn't hurt to learn some of these modern language inflections right? Maybe to gain the trust of your subjects before giving them a grammar lesson."
>"Doth thou pine for our traditional inflections no longer, my love?"
"Heh. You know I love the way you talk Luna, especially in the bedroom~... But knowledge is still power, right?"
>"Hmph... I suppose thou art correct. Alright, We will agree to this linguistic challenge and speak fluid plebeian ere the suns rise."
"That's the spirit! First off you need to refer to yourself in singular. 'I' instead of 'we'."
>"How common. We, would not usually implore to try, however... I, will attempt it for thou."
"Hey, good work! But you don't need to use all that flowery language to make a simple point. If you want something, just say: 'I want'."
>"I want, to wash my mouth out with soap."
"Hehehe."
>"We ar- I, am glad you find our struggle so entertaining, my Dear. Sweet. Love."
"Sorry Honey, you're just so regal usually, it's strange seeing you use modern vocabulary, but not bad. Here, if you want to show more emotion you can use a modern swear-word like 'buck'."
>"How vulgar, the best you shall get from me is 'rut' thou brigand in mine heart."
"Oh I hope so... aww don't blush Moonie, it really shows on your coat. And you don't have to say 'thou' either, try 'you'."
>"I do love you dear, but you can be quite the thorn to my hoof sometimes, truly."
"These days we say 'pain in the ass' or just anything 'in the ass'. You don't need to say 'truly' to emphasize what you're saying either, try 'hardcore'."
>"Really, Anoymous? 'Hardcore'."
"Hey, it's what's hip Princess. Aww, c'mon don't sigh, you're doing great."
>"I feel this may be far too complicated for me to master, there are simply too many modern colloquialisms to learn in a night."
"Nonsense, you're doing great! Just combine all the phrases I taught you in regular speech and you'll do fine."
>"You truly believe so? I mealy have to combine the phrases you have taught me?"
"Truly"
>"Then I shall attempt it just for you my Love."
>"Ahem."
>"I want to, rut you, in the ass..."
"..."
>"Hardcore."
>"Oh my, sweet sister. I must remember to check on you more often~"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fluttershy x Luna /moon/ (Lewd)

>Soft, pale moonlight shimmers in from the balcony, painting the deep blue room in a dull night-time glow.
>Lewd, sloppy licking sounds echo from the room.
>"L- Luna, please. I can't hold it in any more."
>A night-blue alicorn's head lifts from between Fluttershy's thighs.
>"Sweet Fluttershy, doth thou not love me truly?"
>Sticky drops of sex drip from Luna's mouth onto the fine linen bed below. Luna licks her lips greedily, swallowing the shy pony's love juices.
>Fluttershy's already rose colored blush glows brighter, now covering most of her face.
>"O- of course I do Luna... you're the best part of my l- life now."
>Soft lips connect with Fluttershy's own as Luna pushes their muzzles together softly.
>Fluttershy tastes her own sticky-sweet essence as Luna's tongue penetrates her lips, exploring her mouth and roughly grabbing her tongue.
>Fluttershy can't help but squirm under her lover, her marehood burns with want and the need to orgasm.
>However, she simply cannot attain it, even as she grinds her sex desperately against Luna's back leg.
>Pulling apart leaves a thin line of Fluttershy's pussy juice, saliva and red wine connecting both their mouths.
>Luna gives a haughty smile as she stares down at her love, eyes half lidded. The intoxicating scent of Fluttershy's sex has filled the room, the thick air seeps into Luna's head, turning her on fiercely with its arousing aroma.
>A night blue hoof moves to attend to Luna's desperate slit, but stops short of its objective.
>"Then thou will have to endure just a small part more, my love. I swear, just half a dozen more minutes and I will have thou paint the room in your love... as well as me."

>Fluttershy blushes wildly, her eyes closing in concentration once more as Luna plants her face back squarely in-between her haunches.
>As the long alicorn tongue squirms inside the pegasus' winking sex, Fluttershy lets out a high pitched squeal.
>Most of the next five minutes are drowned out in the sounds of moans, squeals and prayers to Celestia as Luna explores Fluttershy's marehood slowly.
>When the time finally comes, Luna begins to strike at Fluttershys winking clit relentlessly.
>Grabbing on when it opens allows Luna to suck hard, attacking ferociously.
>"LUUUuuuuna, p- please. I- I can't..."
>Fluttershy fails to articulate any more words as her screams of pleasure reach glass shattering levels.
>Her abused nub attempts to pull itself back in, convulsing wildly.
>With one final high-pitched squeal Fluttershy bursts, sending hot, mare juice squirting onto her alicorn lover.
>Luna pulls away and tries desperately to catch her lover's essence in her mouth.
>Much like a broken fountain however, Fluttershy continues to squirt her thick love-fluid out in huge quantities, she covers her mouth with her hooves to try to calm her screams of pleasure.
>Luna's mouth overflows quickly, even as she swallows the sweet, arousing liquid, more keeps on shooting out with continued intensity.
>The blue alicorn's face is hosed down in sticky fluid in a final, aggressive squirt.
>Fluttershy's endless "Ah"s and "Eee"s have come to a stop now; she lies limply on the soft bed breathing heavily.
>Luna sits up from her lover's sex, giving it one final kiss for good luck.
>A bright smile adorns Luna's beautiful face as she stares down at her equally stunning lover. Floating a glass of water over from the night stand to her mouth, she pours it into Fluttershys mouth.
>Gently, Luna presses her lips against Fluttershys gently; prying her lips open softly and letting the cool liquid make its way inside.

>Shy's soft eyes flutter open, the deep cyan orbs glittering like quartz in the moonlight shimmering in from the balcony.
>After a few long moments Luna pulls away from her lover's mouth. Smiling serenely down at her, she speaks with a motherly tone.
>"You lost far too much water there, my Love."
>Luna articulates her words with a quick lick of her upper lip, swiping at her damp fur and swallowing some of Fluttershy's stray love.
>"If thou doth need any more."
>Luna's head moves inches from her lovers.
>"Merely ask."
>Fluttershy's face continues to be gripped by her deep blush. However, as the silence of the deep night attempts to engulf them both, her breathless expression turns up into a small smile.
>"I l- love you Luna."
>Luna's grin is genuine, her heart bursting with unfetted joy as she hears those words.
>"And I love you, sweet Fluttershy."
>...
>*Thud*
>Both ponies turn sharply to stare at the ornate wardrobe, the doors now flung open wide.
>A tall white alicorn lays awkwardly on her front on the ground, starting back at the two lovers. >Around her, endless pictures of Fluttershy and Luna lie haphazardly, most contain pink scribbles and love hearts connecting the two ponies.
>Luna's face shines a fluorescent crimson, her face twisted in embarrassment and blazing rage.
>Celestia's face shares the scarlet coloration; however, her muzzle appears more stoic than embarrassed.
>"Worth it."