Premise:
In RGRE, stallions, despite appearing bigger are actually just layerd in fluff. Bring big and poofy is how stallions intimidate other stallions. It's why they spend lots of time grooming and primping, to make sure they look big and attractive/intimidating. In comes anon who is actually beefy.

Mares often look for stallions using 3 categories
1. Colours. No point in dating a guy you can't stand to look at.
2. Personality/lack thereof. Some mares want a trophy husband, some mares want a sex toy
3. Cuddle factor. Self explanatory

-------------------------

>Be Anon
"Fuck me..."
>Be a chilly Anon
>Well what did you expect, dumbass? They post their weather schedule, and you waited until the end of fall to do your winter shopping
>Fuck you hindsight I wanted to show 'em my dominance
>Another shiver rolls up your spine
>yeah freezing to death really screams 'apex predator'
>You hurriedly make your way down the road
>"Haha! Aww, the poor monkey getting cooold?"
>You look up to see the smug grin of
"Thunderlane. You jackass. What?"
>"Oh wow, big words there! Well, what can I expect? You obviously put all your energy into growing a luxurious winter coa-OH WAIT."
>He laughs, lazily circling around you
>"Man, it sure is comfy up here. You wanna go hang out near the lake? Get that nice breeze on your face~?"
"Fuck you, seriously. I don't have time for this shit."
>"What else could you possibly have time for? It sure as hell isn't mares, cause nopony would be caught dead with someone as scrawny as you!"
>You wave your arms at the blackbird and he laughs, darting out of your reach
>"Just hibernate like all the other ugly animals!"
"I'll eat your heart!"
>He raspberries you and flies off, laughing.
>Seriously. Almost every colt you knew was a jackass
>Big Mac was a big exception. So was Mr. Cake, oddly enough. They were pretty chill. 
>Maybe earth ponies are the chillest of bros?
>Who knows. The others were all absolute cunts.
>First, terrified of you because you were an omnivore
>'onoez gonna eat mah babies! hide yo foals, hide yo colts'
>After they got over that, they just started to pick at you
>Usually it was infront of another group of mares or ponies, so... a dominance thing?
>You shrug your shoulders as you continue your internal dialogue
>Oh hey door
>Reaching out, grip the handle and turn
>the gentle *ding* of the bell signals your entrance
>"One moment, Darling~!"
>You look up and smile
>Cold Anon ain't gonna be cold no mo

>Rarity makes her way from around her desk
>"Oh Anon! Do come in, come in -"
>She eyes you up and down
>A mix between "green would look good on him" and "hmm, exotic~"
>It does make you somewhat uncomfortable
>anyway. 
"Is my order ready?"
>She nods. "Yes, and I've been dying to see how it looks on you!"
>She motions you to follow her back to the fitting area
>"Honestly. If you don't grow a winter coat, you should've let me know! I would have had much more time to prepare - and I could've made you a proper ensemble!"
>You roll your eyes
"Rara, I don't want to get all fancy. I just need a warm winter jacket."
>She pouts and sighs dramatically. "Honestly, you're the most marelike colt I've ever met."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
>She smiles at you as she magics through some boxes. "Dear, there's a reason I got into fashion. And when I saw you, I was hoping you'd come in for some... accessories." 
>She's doing that look again
>"But alas, you care as much about your appearance as Rainbow Dash. Ah. Here it is."
>She lifts up an abomination
>no seriously
"Rari-"
>"Ah-ah-ah! No. You came in last minute, you refused my advances-"
"I don' wanna date no pone!"
>"My FASHION advances, your adorable colt you, and so you're left with what is... well, left."
>You hold the jacket in your hands
>That's putting it loosely
>It's... ok so you know the fuzzy lining in some women's winter hoodies from back home? The accent piece bit?
>THE ENTIRE INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF THE JACKET IS LIKE THAT
>You examine it - everything is held together with clasps
>How. No, the question is, WHY.
"Wwhhhyyyyyyy"
>She smirks. "Well, for one, you don't have a winter coat. And I don't know what fabrics are from your home, but fur is the natural option here. I asked fluttershy for any sheddings from her animal friends, and she dropped off about 15 pounds of the stuff!"
>You sniff the jacket tentatively

>"Dear, I did wash and bleach the hair before milling it." She adjusts her mane "I am a mare of class, after all."
>Hmm.
>On one hand, you are fucking freezing
>On the other hand, you don't want to look like a giant puffball
>What would your dad say about all this?
>'Are you winning, son?'
>Whelp. That was some useless advice.
>You look down at Rarity, who is wearing a look of pure glee
>Ok, that cements it
"Thank you, Rarity. I know this was a lot of hard work, and I appreciate you doing this on such short notice..."
>You turn the jacket around and slide your arms through it
>Instantly you're about 15 degrees warmer
>Buttoning it, you start to get a little red in the face
>FUCK YEAH, I mean, it might be an atrocity on the eyes, but this is the warmest damn thing you've ever seen
>Looking at yourself in the mirror, it looks like it's added about 200lbs to your body mass
>But you're the warmest, fluffiest fuck this side of canterlot
"Haha! Well, I can't say I agree with the outside, but damn it all Rarity if this isn't the warmest thing I've ever had on!"
>Silence. I guess she's waiting for more praise - you owe it to her, why not
>You turn to look at yourself, posing slightly
"I mean, I've had some jackets back home that have put me back a couple hundred doll-er, bits, and some that were tailor-made to survive winter, but this blows them all out of the water!"
>Silence. Ok, she's milking it...
"Thank you again....Rarity?"
>You turn to look at Rarity, who's standing next to one of her mannequin-horses. Horseequin?
>DOUBLEHORSE?
>Either way, she doesn't look too good
"Oh shit, Rarity - I didn't know you were sick!"
>"D-darling...haah, what?"
>She's looking at you up and down, hard. 
>Rarity licks her lips
>Scratch that, she's eye-fucking you. Oookayyyy, well, fashion kinks aside, she did do this for free. You owe her something
>You grin and walk towards her
>Rarity's nostrils flare out and she starts to shake slightly. "A-anon.... Anon don't y-you dare!"

>You wrap your arms around the shaking mare
>She moans. Loud
>"O-O-o-ohh~ fuck it's so soft~"
>You hush her and pet her head gently
"You're a pretty pony, yes you are"
>"Haaah...hu-uuh~" She responds, burying her muzzle into your chest, murmuring softly
>You pet her for a few more moments before letting her down gently
>She whines as she lays down, and you think you hear something along the lines of 'senpai noticed me'
>Huh
"So uh... we'll just say that was payment for services rendered, ok?"
>Note to self: Rarity has a jacket fetish
>You wave at the marshmellow, but she doesn't really respond
>Ooookaaayyyy time to leave
>You proudly strut out of Carousel Boutique, your fluff flowing uh...
>Manly? Not really. Cuddly isn't the adjectiv-DRAMATICALLY 
>Fluff flowing Dramatically in the cold breeze
>Which you no longer feel!
>chuckling to yourself, you decide to hitup SCC; you can always stock up on midnight snacks.
>You begin your walk through town, admiring the changes
>The fall/winter market always brought out the specialty stalls
>Root vegetables, some of the darker greens like kale were finally beginning to be in season
>Hot cider and baked goods from the apple family
>Speaking of, you notice AJ is manning the stand
>or is that.. ponnying the stand?
>No, it's manning, because you're not that retarded
>k brain
"Hey AJ, what's up?"
>AJ Turns to look at you. "Well if it ain'-" and then she just stops
>Her mouth hangs open
>Oh, right, the abomination
"Hey, now, don't laugh!"
>Better nip this in the bud
"I don't grow a winter coat, so Rarity whipped this up for me. I mean, yeah, it's pure white, and I look like a frickin' cotton ball, but damn it all if it ain't comfy."
>She remains silent, drinking you in with her eyes
>her JUDGMENTAL EYES
>You twirl in front of her
"Hey, don't be hatin. I can come out and work for you this winter if I've got this on!"
>"Ha-buh?" She shakes her head. "ah! Ah, righ... right, winter work. Ah kin find you somepony to do..."

"Hmm?"
>"Somep-THING." AJ catches herself before she slips again. "Ah kin find you somethin to do...."
>She trails off, just staring at you
"Oh... kaay? Can I get some spiced cider, then?"
>She nods and prepares the cider, not turning away from you the entire time
>Ooookay well this is getting creepier by the moment
>The creaking of a cart breaks your attention, and you turn to look
"Oh, hey! 'Sup, Big M?"
>Big Mac gives you a nod, pulling another load of apples and apple accessories to his sister
>He stops and unhitches himself, and then turns to look you over
"Uh, yeah. Coat - came from Rarity - I don't uh. Grow a winter layer of fur.
>He nods and begins to unload the contents his cart into his sister's. "Eeyup."
>"Ah.. Ahnon?"
>You look back at AJ, who has the hot cup of cider prepared
>"He-here you go. On the house."
"Oh, thank you!"
>You reach for the cup, but she pulls away slightly
>Keep on reachin'
>She keeps movin- ok this is silly
>You're now bent over the cart reaching for a mug of cider
"AJ!"
>"Bhwu? Oh! Oh uh."
>She reluctantly hands you the cup, and you stand back up.
"What's gotten into you, girl?!"
>You turn to look at Big Mac for some indication
>But apparently he was silently judging you as well
>He averts his gaze and shrugs
>And is it your imagination or has he gotten fluffier in the past few minutes?
>Must be some subconscious thing.
>"A-Anon? Ya wanna...swing bah the farm this afternoon?"
>You shake your head
"I'm gonna hit up ponka, and then probably grab a book before heading home. Well...anyway, thank you for the cider."
>AJ nods. "No problem! An I might just join you at Twi's..."
>You shrug. "Suit yourself! See you in a few, then."

>You nod, taking a sip
>Mmm. Spiced Cider is delicious, but this one is your favorite flavor:
>free
>You make your way through the market, pones milling about, haggling over the prices of turnips or of collards
>As you make your way down the street, though... you notice that the booths you pass start quieting down
>Yeah ok that's not uh. Horrifying?
>You turn to a flowermare who's taken to selling ...looks like honey
>You wave
>She blushes hard and waves a bit too enthusiastically
>Huh. Maybe they're just glad to see you out and about, not doing your "I'm-freezing-to-death" dance?
>Yeah, no. Something's going on
>You mentally adjust your legwarmers and powerwalk through the market, making a beeline for SCC
>Ponka will know
>wow what does that say about you? You're turning to the one insane pone for clarification
>Yeah brain, but at least she's honest. 
>*ding*
>It's that same freakin bell in every store, you're sure of it
>Pinkie looks up from her spot behind the counter, then does a double-take
>"Nonny?! Is that you?!"
>You point a finger accusingly at the pink mare
"RIDDLEMASTER!"
>She giggles adorably and makes her way from behind the display cases
>"Nonny... wow, that is you! What...wh."
>As she gets closer, you notice her cheeks get brighter
>Ok this stops now
"Ponka"
>"Mmm."
"Panko Po, listen to me."
>"Mmhmmm."
>She's drinking you in with her eyes
>"You know we've got a friends and family discount that I can give you... you just gotta come in the backroom and uh... punch your card..."
>She reaches up and touches your jacket, stroking it gently
>THE JACKET
>You unbutton that sumbitch and chuck it in a random booth
>Ponks blinks a couple times, then lets out this disappointed sigh
"Pinkie, what the hell?! Did rarity give me a jacket made out of lust?!"
>Pinkie sits down infront of you and gives you a poutyface
"Seriously, help me out here. Why is every mare acting so...weird?"
>"You help me and I'll help you...."
"Wha-"
>"A MARE HAS NEEDS, ANON."

>You stare down at her
>She stares up at you
>Now you know how mexicans feel when they look at each other across the street
>Candy wrapper blows between you two
>"Put on the Jacket, An-"
"No! You tell me what the hell is-"
>"Put it on and I'll tell yo-"
"You just wanna pet me and lick your lips! I kno-"
>"I can't help it if you look so damn TASTY-"
>You cross your arms in defiance. This is crossing a bunch of lines....
>Pinkie gets up, and in a flash grabs the jacket from the booth, taking an aggressive stance
>She tries to glare menacingly at you
>It backfires
>She looks adorable - half pink, half giant-ball-of-fluff
>You let out a soft "daww"
>"Now here's how this is gonna go down."
>*ding*
>The two of you look at the door
>Spike stands there for a moment
>He purses his lips, shakes his head and walks right back out
>that kid's seen some shit
>"....You put this on, you let me sit on your lap. Maybe you tell me I'm a pretty pony, maybe we snuggle. I tell you everything you want to know."
>You shake your head
"That's... Pinkie, what's gotten into you?!"
>"Well it's certainly not you..."She mumbles. "A-anyway! It'll all make sense if you would just let me do a VISUAL AID!"
"No!"
>She jumps at you, and you book it
>You start running around SCC, jumping over tables, standing on booths - anything to stay away from the pink menace
>She keeps closing the distance - how!? She's only on three legs!
>You run back behind the counter, and she jumps over it
>doing a 180, you make your wa-
>You feel a sharp sting on your rump
>The chase stops as you turn to look at her
>"IT PUTS THE JACKET ON IT'S SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS SPANKED AGAIN"
>Whelp
>You book it harder better faster stronger than you have before, right up the stairs
>You start checking doors - maybe there's another way out, or a weapon or somet-
>On second thought, this is a bad idea
>Your options are pinkie's bedroom, cake's bedroom, the foals bedroom
>They don't deserve to see what's going down
>"Nonny!"

>You spin right round baby right round to see Ponka standing in the hallway
>Fluffy jacket laying over her back
>She's breathing heavily - due to exertion or anticipation, you don't know
>"Nonny. I..."
>You take a fighting stance
>GOLDEN MONKEY IRON FIST DOUBLE DRAGON STYLE
>In reality, no, you don't know what the fuck you're doing, but you hope it looks menacing
>"Nonny, I pinkie promise I won't do anything bad to you. Pinkie promise."
>Pinkie goes through the motions, and you relax
>"I do wanna help you - you're my friend, after all - it's just..."
>She starts to sniffle a bit, and you groan
"Alright, alright, so wh-"
>JACKET
>You use your lightning-quick reflexes to flail as the jacket hits you in the face
>"Put that on and... I know this will sound naughty, but, go to my bedroom."
"Panko..."
>"Nonny I'm serious! Just... just go."
>What are you doing
>You sigh again - a tad bit dramatically, you might add - and head into Pinkie's bedroom
>You sit on the corner of the bed, jacket on your lap.
>Pinkie comes in a few seconds later, shutting the door behind her
>And locking it
"Pinkie..."
>"Anon. I'm being honest, I won't do anything bad."
>Whelp. Time to trust, I guess.
>"So, I guess you're wondering why everypony's going all gaga over you, hmm?"
>You nod
"More or less. The market went silent,"
>Pinkie nods
"-AJ tried to bend me over her stand for come cider, an-"
>Pinkie ...twitches a bit, but remains still
"-nd when I hugged Rarity she basically came! I just thought she had a jacket fetish, but-"
>"OK THEN!" Pinkie suddenly yells, hopping up onto the bed
>You start. Startle? You're gruntled, let's go with that
>"So, as you are now, 'Non, you're cute."
"Aww well that's kinda nice of you to say, but I don't g-"
>She sighs and presses a hoof to your lips. "Sssh, colt. Listen. You're cute as you are now cause you've got that whole 'exotic stallion' thing going for you. You're also warm, and not high-maintenance."
>Oookaaayyyy

>"So we're pretty much able to spend time with you, flirt with you-"
"Wait you flirt with m-"
>"yes flirt with you but that's all in good fun!" She smiles, and you can't help but believe her
>"And then you put on that...sex machine there...."
>She trails off as she looks at the jacket
>"...put on that sex mach-"
"No, ponka. WHY does it matter that I have this on? What's the big draw?"
>"Mm... oh! Oh, uh. You don't...?"
>Pinkie tilts her head and looks at you
>"You're not... don't you read like, 'Stallion's Weekly' and 'Vogue'?"
"That inane tripe? No, I don't."
>"Huh. Well that'd help you a lot... anyway. We mares look for a few things in our stallions."
>Well, looks like you're gonna get the birds and the bees talk from your friend
>Who wants to bang you
>I wonder if she feels like she's courting a retard
>Why hello, brand-new level of awkward
>Oh shit she's talking
>"...cause if they look like crap, they are crap. So, colors are important. You've got that whole...clothing thing going on, so you get a pass. Second, personality - you're good there, so eh. But also, we look for uh..."
>She searches for a word
"...fuzz?"
>"Mmm. Close." She shakes her head. "It's like... cuddleability? That's a word, shush! Are they soft and warm and... just... can you bury yourself into them... as they bury themselves into you..."
>She's doin that look at you again
>But at least you've got your answers
"Ok, so without the fluff I'm an OK guy, but with the fluff I become irresistible? So al-"
>The hoof again
>"I held up my end of the bargain...."
>You gulp and look at her, nodding slowly after a while
"A-alright, just... be gentle...."
>You put on the jacket
>"ah! Slowly..."
>You put on the jacket... slowly. One arm, then the other
>"Mmmm. Aunty Pinkie likes..."
>You feel like a whore as you button up
>"Now then, my little colt..."
>She crawls on your lap and rolls over.
>[spoiler]L-lewd!
>"Time for belly rubs"[/spoiler]

>An hour and a half
>You were in SCC for an hour and a half
>Granted, you now have a permanent 20% discount on all future purchases
>You had to agree that the friends and family card WAS tastefully made
>The form you had to fill out was a breeze to do
>And you did get a dozen pretty delicious 'what-we-did-was-our-little-secret-no-need-to-tell-the-ponice' cupcakes
>So all in all a win! All you have to do is scrub that time spent in Pinkie's bedroom out of your brain, and you'll be all set.
>A memory surfaces, unwanted. <"Brushie Brushie, Anon~">
>You shudder
>The cold wind greets you ineffectively, your fluff blowing in the wind
>Last on your list is Twilight, then home
>Then you shave the outside of this jacket
>You take a bite out of a cupcake
>"Hey monkey!"
>You look up, mouth half-filled with delicious bribery
>You see Thunderlane spiraling down to 'greet' you
>Now, what did Pinkie say about your new jacket powers?
> <"L-lower! There! THERE! YES!">
>GAH NO. The other thing!
> <"With great power comes great responsibility">
>No... no that's not it. Oh!
> <"With that jacket on, you can totally wrap anypony around your hoof if you can master...the LOOK">
>Yes, You know what you must do now
>"Oi, Monk-what?! What the tartarus is that you've got on?!"
>You look down and swallow, studying the cupcake idly
"Hey Thunderlane."
>"W-what?"
>He sounds scared
>Good
>You look up at him and give him
>BLUE STEEL
"Ugyuu~"
>"HNGFLB"
>Thunderlane drops right out of the sky, hitting the ground with a *pomf*
>Huh. I guess stallions ARE mostly fluff
>Whelp. Now it's time to take your newfound powers and .... go checkout a book from the resident supernerd!
>You've changed your mind about this jacket
>You're not gonna shave it, because
>absolutely nothing could go wrong.

>You step over the twitching body of your arch-nemesis, Thunderlane
>His fluff is inferior
>This alpha feel
>feelsgoodman.png
>You take out another cupcake and eat it
>Savoring the taste of repressed memories and victory
>You walk back through town to the castlebrary, humming your nothing-can-go-wrong song in your head
>Mares still staring at you
>You decide to swagger a bit, because let's face it
>You just destroyed a pony with a look. You're now invincible
>Mares follow you with their eyes
>sometimes turn their heads
>Hell, some are actually following you
>Put a bit of sway into those hips... aww yeah.
>By the time you make it to the castle about a third of ponyville is following you
>You turn to look over the crowd of mares just following dat flank
>At the periphery of the assembly are a couple stallions fluffing themselves out as hard as they can
>Guess you took a couple of their girlfriends.....? oh well
>Irony is that you're not a horsefucker
>[spoiler]yet[/spoiler]
>The guards at Twilight's castle stand up tall
>Huh. Mares here as well
>You decide to have some fun
>marolynpose.png
"Oh! I could use a real woman to shoo away these girls for me~"
>Never before have you seen a more dedicated staff
>The guard runs past you, stealth-groping and rubbing up against you
>They begin to shoo and cajole the collected herd away from the door, letting you slip in (relatively) unmolested.
>Haha wow this is a wonderful new power
>And surely tempting fate this entire afternoon will have no adverse consequences
>You start to meander through the halls
>Opening Twilight's cupboards, going through her shelves
>Yanno. Neighborly stuff, as ya do
>Eventually you make your way to the library wing of the castle
>You hear hushed whispers and quiet yells
>"..'ing you! He's like, two - no, three hooves of fluff!"
>"That ain't right! Ya'll should've seen him at mah cart..."
>"...but I got him to rub my hooves..."
>they go silent
>well, now is as good as any

"Happy Birthday Mister President~"
>You open the door to the library wing slowly, letting it swing wide, hand still on the handle
>There's a loud gasp, then silence
>The assembled pones just....stare at you
>drinking you in
>Hmm. How much shenanigans do you want to get into?
>Answer: All of them. Time to play into every single stereotype in this backwards horse land
"Oh, Twilight, thank goodness I found you! I was getting lost in the market, yanno - all the other mares wanted to talk to me, and I got confused!"
>You bend over into the semicircle of blushing mares, and you see wings extend
"And I just remembered that if I could come to you girls, you could protect me~"
>You give your winningest husbando smile
>Rarity, the proper canterlot mare, falls face-forward into the floor. 
>She done passed right the fuck out
>excellent
"Oh! Now what did I come-"
>you pause for a moment, straightening out, putting a finger to your nose in thought
>oops. it had a bit of frosting on it. how careless of you
"-here to do.... oh!"
>You wipe the frosting off your nose and....let's see. who is next victim
>Applejack
>You stare at her as you lick your finger clean
>"Ha...horseapples...." She swallows audibly, her tongue hanging out of her mouth
>Huh. Guess she's made of stro-
>*thud*
>You look, and wow. Fluttershy just dropped
>Ah well. Two for two ain't bad
>Time to pickup the book you were here for
>"Metalworking and you: How to create stabby things"
>You needed that book for reasons
>But you should also pick up...
"D-do you think I should get something in cooking, or... maybe..."
>You walk around the mares, dragging your fingers idly across their necks
"...something for the home?"
>They shiver under your touch - RD has it the worst, reaching a hoof up after your arm has passed
>Oh man you are having so much fun with this
>And it's not biting you in the ass!
>Glorious
>You stop near the adult section
"Maybe if I come inside here I'll find what I'm looking for..."

"Hmm...."
>You start browsing the adult section, every so often giving out a little sigh
>"Ah... Ahnon~! Ah! Um, uh." *cough*
>Oh wow the spaghetti is drowning twilight
>"I-I can he-help you find what you're looking for..."
>You put your cupcake tray down on the ground near your feet and clasp your hands together
"Really?! Oh that's wonderful! Do you have any recommendations?"
>She blushes crimson as she walks over to you, wings at full mast
>Haha come on, Twilight. Be a gentlemare, don't take advantage of a poor, misguided stallion
>"W-well what are you l-looking for, m'lord?" she squeaks out the end as she stands right next to you, every fiber in her being doing it's best to stare straight ahead at the books
> [intensifying shenanigans internally]
"Mmmm, something I can do when I'm feeling... oh, maybe a little frisky..."
>You look down at her and catch her glancing at your fluff
"Maybe...something that helps me get more..."
>You let the silence drag on until she makes eye contact with you
"...flexible~"
>"Guh"
>Haha oh wow you've never seen a brain reset like that
>"Pa pa pa po po puh....uh..." She swallows again, and you go back to browsing the shelves
>I think she was trying to say "the Pony sutra", Anon
>Oh, thanks brain. Hey, you recording this for later?
>2160p, son
>kinky
>You scan the shelves and find a copy of "The Pony Sutra: Advanced positions for Adventurous couples. Interspecies Addendum included!"
>You pull it out slowly, fingers caressing the book's spine
>Oh, it seems well-used. Imagine that.
>"T-that's...that might be... uh.."
>You turn to look at Twilight, who is doing her best to get back into librarian mode and talk about the book
>You should help her
>Flipping through the book you find one with a pony and a diamond dog
>close enough
"Twilight... I'm a bit confused here..."
>You step behind her, and she doesn't move - still staring at the bookcase
>trying to center herself
>You can't have that

>You kneel and lean over her body - not resting on her back, but she can feel just the feather-touch of your jacket
>You yourself are sweating like a motherfucker, what with wearing a winter coat indoors, but this is still too rich to stop
>Your arms drape around her withers and you bring the book up to  her eye level
>Time to enact plan 'this-is-revenge-for-pestering-me-when-I-first-got-here-and-trying-to-make-me-into-a-proper-colt'
"Twilight...I'm confused~"
>"Wh-wha-wha..wh..." she says, shaking under your body
>You look down at the poor thing
>Oh is that her tail propped high and to the side
>Wow she is using every ounce of willpower not to back into you right now
>But there are no breaks on this train
"See, here it says that your bipedal lover might last anywhere from 20 to 60 seconds..."
>She nods
"And, well...what should I do? Human males last on average about 10 - 15 minutes per orgasam, and we sometimes-"
>You whisper the next words deeply and carefully - but loudly enough that the other mares hear
"-fuck many times a night...."
>You clear your throat and go back to your airhead-stallion voice
"And I just don't see anything in here for those kind of positions...."
>You pause
>Twilight's just stopped moving
>uh oh
>You lean to the side and look at her fa-
>she's having an actual orgasm
>You know the "Oh!" face anywhere
>You grin a Cheshire grin
>Time to end it
"What a shame... looks like I'll never be a proper stallion..."
>You drop the book and stand up, wiping your hands on your jacket
>You also dropped their jaws
>Might as well also drop the act
"Oh also? Stop thinking I'm a dumb bastard. I fended for myself back on earth, I can damn well fend for myself here. You can keep the cupcakes."
>You smile another winning husbando smile as you turn to the other mares
>Wow some of them are actually rubbing themselves
"And you girls! Stop trying to be my friends to get into my pants. Damn. 'Nice mares' are anything but."
>You peace out