>You are Anon
>Shit’s been seriously hard since you came to pony land after you fell off your roof and got a string of Christmas lights wrapped around your neck
>You would have laughed at the caroler’s horrified faces if you hadn’t been busy getting strangled by the Christmas Spirit
>Totally wasn’t suicide, but St. Peter was unconvinced, hence your current whereabouts in candy pone land purgatory
>They laughed when you said Equestria was purgatory then broke out into a song about how it wasn’t good to vomit and a healthy diet was the way to go
>Stupid sexist horses wouldn’t hire you for any of the crap you were good at.  You were a no shit architect, having worked your way up from construction worker to pay for your college.  You were to put it lightly, ripped.  A 6ft tall hulking mass of apex predator homo sapien that wasn’t even allowed to pick things up and put them down in this topsy-turvy horse world to make a living.
>At least you didn’t have to buy your own drinks to drown your sorrows.  It hurt your dignity a little flirting up these tiny mares for alcohol, but not enough to make you stop putting back the apple ciders like they were juice
>You drink another mare under the table, her embarrassed yellow friend dragging the stumbling blue Pegasus pony out before she says anything else about bringing your hot monkey ass home.  You sigh as your finely tuned predator instincts sense another pony pulling up to the bar beside you.
>Another blue pony.  Why was it always blue ponies?  There was that cute polite grey one you saw always flying around town, why couldn’t it be her hitting on you?  This one seemed more mature, older, even though she didn’t actually show any of the usual wear and tear of age.  A poofy black dress with white stripes covered most of her body, the sleeves and blouse expertly tailored to perfectly show off the curves of her barrel while still leaving something for the imagination.  Damn horse world making you learn horse anatomy.  You take another swig, draining the bottle.  Her eyes hid behind nearly opaque magenta lenses.  It’s a wonder she can even see-
>”Holy crap, vat ze heck are you zapposed to be?!”
>Ah.  She can’t see.  Well, time to work the magic on another mare you sad sack of crap.
“I’m Anon, the only human in Equestria.  An apex predator omnivore.  So what brings you out here so late?  Care to buy a stallion a drink and talk about it?”
>You flash her a toothy grin and wave your empty cider bottle in your hand, making sure to accentuate your wiggling fingers and opposable thumbs.  Oddly enough, she doesn’t look as impressed as the other mares.  Maybe she can’t see them?
>“I am Photo Finish.  Ze Vorld famous photographer!  It iz you who should be buying me a drink!”
>You can see some wrinkles on her forehead as she takes a better look at you.  You assume she’s squinting trying to see through the lenses.
>“My, you are a big boy, aren’t you?”
>It takes every ounce of willpower in your body not to say it.  Your chronic alcoholism depends on it.
“Well, I suppose compared to you little ponies I’m a little *big*.  I’m sure a mare like you could handle *it*.”
>You accentuate the big and it part.  A part of you dies at teasing these tiny horses, but they’re so innocent its hilario-
>“How big iz it?  I von’t vaste my time on small fry.”
>She appraises you with her lenses.  You are pretty sure there are eyes appraising you too, but all you can see is your reflected shocked face staring back at you.  She’s not even drunk yet she asked so matter of factly.  That’s not how this is supposed to work!  Her head drifts down.  She smiles.
>"Yeees.  I think zat vill do quite nicely.”
>Fuck, the return of the wtf boner.  The grey pony hands you a card.
>"I had heard dere vas an impressive stallion zat hung around here.  I am glad zey vere not mistaken.  If you wish to make some bits as a model, come to my studio in ze afternoon.  I GO.”
>With a flourish, the pony was gone.  You looked down at the card.  “Photo Finish Studios.”  Well, what have you got to lose?
			___
>After lunch, next day.  Anon looked around his decrepit apartment one last time before he left.  It wasn’t dirty, but God was it depressing.  An old sofa you stole from the back of some kind of bizarre furniture and ink pen store, some crates, an old mattress on top of some more crates, and in the living room in front of the couch one large crate turned on its side with a black piece of paper.  He didn’t bother locking the door.
>Anon found himself in an oddly seedy side of town.  He checked the address on the card one more time, but it matched.  The large “Photo Finish Casting Studio” was a pretty big giveaway.  He entered the reception area.  An attractive almost Asian looking mare looked up from her magazine.
>”You here for the afternoon audition?”
“Uh, yes mam.”
>”Ooh, polite.  PF is gonna love you.  They’re still cleaning up from the morning shoot.  Should be ready in a few.  Make yourself comfortable, we got magazines on the table.”
>You thanked the mare and walked across to the row of chairs.  The small table had stacks of magazines on them.  You start to leaf through them.  Hah, looks like ponies have fashion mags too.  They sure do love socks and saddles.  Wait…
“Huh?  Playfilly?  Rustler?”
>Before you can lead through the magazines the receptionist calls out.
>“Mister Anon, Miss Finish is ready for your casting interview.  You can go down the hall to her office.  Can’t miss it, large glass window with the ponitian blinds.”
>These horse puns were gonna be the re-death of you.  You thank the pony and head through the door.  The large glass window did in fact run the entire length of her office, white venetian blinds on the window and door blocking the view inside.  You turn the handle and walk inside.
>”Ah, Mister Anonymous, so good of you to make it.  I’d like you to know ve vill be filming your interview for future reference.  Please have a seat so ve can begin.  ”
>The blue photo pony motions to the black leather looking couch.  You take a seat, finding it surprisingly comfy.  This thing may actually be real leather.
>”So Anon, may I call you Anon?  Is this your first casting?”
>You nod.
>”Please answer aloud Anon.  Your personality and reactions vill be taken into account regarding possible hiring.  And please, relax. Zhis is a safe, private space. Ve yourself.”
“Um, yes Miss Finish.  This is my first time being interviewed for this kind of thing.  Never really considered being a model, but it’s been kind of hard finding good work since I got here.”
>The small fashionable blue photo pony grins.  Apparently she does like manners.
>”Vell Anon, let us begin with, ze magicks!  So, how old were you vhen you lost your virginity?”
“Uh, umm, 18?” you answer, worried about incriminating yourself.
>Photo horse smiles a knowing smile.
>”Ov course, ov course.  Soooo…”
>She takes off her glasses, showing you her deep magenta eyes, a Cheshire smile forming on her lips.
>“Vhat iz ze dirtiest thing you’ve ever done?”
>The questions continued in this manner for awhile, the mare drinking in your answers like a fine wine.  You had gotten a little more comfortable, laughed at her jokes, all the while not noticing her getting closer and closer.  Finally, the blue mare sat down on the couch beside you and put her hoof on your leg.  She lightly and slowly rubbed it up and down your thigh as she asked the question she wanted to ask since she met you at the bar last night.
>”How bad do you van’t this modelling job?”
>Realization hits you like a ton of bricks as you look around her office.  Large couch, video camera, stack of towels, and desk with a person in a position of power over you.  Not to mention the mare rubbing your leg after asking you a ton of sex questions.  Oh my god this is your fetish.  You put your hand over her hoof and look her in the eyes.  In a sultry tone you whisper in her ear.
“I need it real bad Misses Finish, I’d do anything for this job…”
>She smiles and leans back on the arm of the couch, spreading her legs out wide.
>”Vhy don’t you show me how bad, colt…”
>It had been a while.  Due to the circumstances that brought you here and the general PG nature of the world around you, you weren’t even sure pones were for sexual.  All those doubts were put to rest as you watched Photo Finish softly hoof her wet puffy pony pussy.  You could see her pink inner folds, her clit lightly winking in and out.  Her hoof spread a creamy bead of her girly cum all around her pussy lips.  You dive in, your head brushing her hoof out of the way as you tightly grip her flank.  It’s small but perfect, your mouth easily circling her entire pussy mound.  As your tongue violently attacked her clit, you realized something amazing; pony pussies tasted like candy.  She tasted exactly like a sweet creamy orange dreamsicle.  With renewed fervor you licked and prodded, hands firmly gripping the pones tight muscular ass so she couldn’t squirm away.  You ate her like she was a melting ice cream cone, licking up every drip that tried to run down your hand.
>”O-OH my.  Za-ZAT iz quite ZOMETHING!  WAIT-wait!”
>The pony pushes you away, and you let her.  You’ve been forgetting to breath.  Both gasping, shakily she gets up and reaches behind her desk to grab a handheld video camera.  Nodding her head, she returns to her position on the couch.  Shimmying to a more upright seating position so she’s above you looking down, she spreads her legs again.  She’s a complete mess.  You’d tried your best, but while she was up getting the camera her pussy had continued to wink and cream.
>”Zere.  No zense not getting good footage of such a spirited performance.  Now, vhy don’t you continue showing me how much you vant zhis job my little colt…”
>She motions for you to continue while she films from PPOV (pony point of view.)  You oblige her.  You stare up into the camera as you attempt to slurp her constantly winking clit.  Smiling at the pony behind the lens, you begin to rub her clit with your hand.  It’s quickly soaked in her creamy mare cum, you fight the urge to lick them clean.  Praying cartoon horse anatomy is close enough to fuck (and it is if that perfect pink pony pussy is any indication) you begin to work your middle finger into her.
>”You did quite vell dere, colt.  I can definitely feel you vant to be a STAR!  BUT!  Dere iz still somezink missing… some MAGIC.  Iz dere anythink you can think of to convince me how much you vant it?”
>The platinum haired pony has pulled you using her mouth up to your feet by the sleeve of your suit.  As she speaks she is slowly circling, nuzzling your leg and sniffing at your crotch.
>”Anyzink come to mind?” she asks sexily.
>You start to undo your shirt and tie.
>”NO!  Zay it into the camera.  Zay vhat it iz you vant to do.”
>Oh fuck, it’s exactly like your fetish.
“I, uh, umm, I want to take off my clothes?”
>”And vhat else my little colt?” she asks sternly.
“Um, and take my cock out?”
>”And vhat do you vhant to do wiz your fat human cock?”
>Photo horse looks smug as fug.  God, she’s gonna make you say the whole thing.  Fuck it, she wants dirty talk you’re gonna give it to her.  You weren’t some prissy stallion.
“I’m gonna take my fat human cock, I’m gonna press it against that tight delicious little pussy you let me eat, and then I’m gonna pin you up against that couch and split your cunt open and fuck you until you can’t walk.”
>The camera she’s holding drops like her jaw.  Finally she regains control and responds.
>”Zuch a potty mouthed little colt.  Looks like I vill hab to teach you how to behave in proper pony soziety!”
>Her actions are completely contrary to her declaration as she trots like a filly at her cutesinera over to the couch, puts the camera on a cushion, places her fore hooves on the couch, then reaches back to flip her dress forward and out of the way.  She looks back at you expectantly, her tail swooshing back and forth.