June 2017:
Dear >>30291797
Thank you for singing me the song of your people.
Your information on object pronouns was comprehensive, and you explained the proper usage of thy/thine very well.
Unfortunately I do not have any plans to write anything that utilizes Luna-speak in the near future, but rest assured that I will make an effort to learn the rules of grammar and clean up my older documents (such as this one) when/if I do.

With love,
AnalplugAnon
xoxoxo

---------------------------

CRACK

>You wince from the sound, expecting Lotus to fall into a heap.
>But no, she barely even flinched.
>She's pushing her head back against Applejack's, like two deer locking their horns together.
>Lotus is putting up a fight, but you can tell that she's scared.
>Pedals start to fall from her plumage, and she's sweating away all her body oil.
>Quick as lightning, Applejack wrestles Lotus to the ground.
>In her haste to get away, her plumage/buttplug falls out.
>Applejack trots over to it and stomps it to a pulp with her front hooves.
>D'aww, she looks so pleased with herself.
>You can't say no to that smile.
>Time for upsies.


Be Applejack

>Great Apple have mercy, you dun it!
>You dun claimed a colt and have ensured a new generation of Apples!
>You nuzzle Anawn's face, as is the traditional proposal acceptance.
>Is that Rainbow Dash'n Twahlaht you smell?
>Guess you couldn't keep'm all to yerself.
>Granny didn't raise no selfish mare.
>A colt needs plenty of 'tention to be happy, an' ain't nobody got time fer that.
>Not jus' one mare, anyway.
>'sides, there's more'n enough Anawn tuh go 'round.
>Anawn carries you to yer new home, and you spend that tahm rubbin' yer own stank on him.



>You are Rainbow Dash.
>And you just finished building Anon a proper nest for your foals.
>First, you gathered up every cushion and pillow you could find to make the frame nice and sturdy.
>Next, you tied it all together with all those blankets Anon had stacked up in his cupboard.
>Finally, you looked for every single shiny object Anon had around the house and used them to decorate the nest.
>Your chest puffs up with pride, and your wings twitch with a feeling of dominance. 
>Now you won't have to worry about other birdpones stealing Anon away from you.
[spoiler]>Fucking Fluttershy[/spoiler]


>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>Snuggling and make-outs takes a LOT out of a mare.
>You've spent the last hour or so trying to figure out how to move your personal collection of books to Anon's house.
>Your new house.
>Oh this is so exciting!
>Anyway, you can't keep them in the library anymore if you're going to move in with Anon.
>Spike might find them, and you don't want to have THAT kind of conversation with him just yet.

>You know, dangerous spellbooks, ancient tomes of forgotten gods, that sort of thing.
>...
>Some of the books might be smut.
>...
>A lot of the books might be smut.
>...
>Okay, It's all smut.

>You have a collection of every issue of Playmare published to date, plus a bunch of those awful "romance" novels written for lonely, middle-aged stallions.
>Look it gets lonely sometimes.
>N-not that you're one of those gross mares that only see a dildo when they look at a stallion!
>You're prepared to respect the SHIT out of Anon when you get to his house.
>You might even tip your sunhat at him.
[spoiler]>M-m'lord[/spoiler]
>Okay, look.
>Being Princess Celestia's star student, and Element of Magic tends to inspire STRESS.
>Stress that you have to GET RID OF to stay sane.

>Aw fuck, that reminds you.
>You have to find a way to move your boxes of sex toys to Anon's house and figure out where to hide them.
>You think you'll have to add another room to your coltfriend's house if you want to fit everything.
>Enough thinking. Let's go make lunch.


>You are Applejack.
>You're not sure you 'preciate being carried by yer stallion lahke a baguh flour.
>It was real cute at first, seein' him so excited to start yer new lives together, but colts're starin' at you now.
>It's imaresculating, him carryin' you 'round lahke this.
>You make sure to wriggle a bit and grumble jus' loud 'nough for any other mares to hear you.
>Can't havin'em think big'ol AJ has gone soft fer some city colt.
>But he's yer beau
>And you luv'im with all yer heart
>So you'll put up with it this time.

>You are Anon.
>It's ten minutes to your house, you got your arms full of mare, half a mind to lose, it's mating season... and you're wearing a cumdiaper. 
>Hit it.


>Thou art Luna.
>Thou has't just finished raising the moon for the evening, and thy art eager to start thy night. 
>Thy dearest sister hast shared a scroll with thee, delivered by Twilight Sparkle, and it appeareth that thy lady's star pupil hath found a proper herd. 
>The supposedly monogamous Anonymous hath somehow managed to seduce three mares with nary an endeavor from hisself. 
>Thy loins glisten in the moon light at the bethought of at long last getting thy hooves on that monkey's fiery shaft.
>Thou winketh conspiratorially at the full moon, spreadeth thy wings, and flyeth aroint.

>Thou arriveth at fair Anonymous's abode in less than an hour. 
>Thou rap smartly on thy soon-to-be herdcolt's door, and prepare thy mating dance. 
>Thy sister hath told thou that many things hast chang'd since thy banishment to the moon, enwheeling how a meet mare treats a colt. 
>Thou wast disgust'd to findeth out just how much had chang'd. 
>In thy day, thou couldst b'd any colt with naught but a lift of thy tail and a winketh of thy perfecteth marehood. 
>Thy royal urges wouldst be fat, and the faceless, nameless colt wouldst feeleth honour'd to hast been chosen by thou. 

>Aha!
>Anon himself hath dupp his door, and is staring at thou expectedly.
>Thither is nay needeth for words, howev'r.
>The sacred courtship dance betwixt a mare and a colt is a silent affair. 
>'tis a test of a mare's abilities to expresseth h'r natural desires to be with foal, without the crutch that is the spoken tongue.
>Mere centures aft'r thy banishment, thy sister had puteth laws into effect that corrupts this age-old tradition to this very day.
>A bawbling part of though shrivell'd up and perish'd when though saweth one mare pushing a feather duster into another mare's anal cavity.

>Thou will dost things the way thou wast taught at thy father's hip.
>If 'twas good enough for thy ancient ancestors, it will be good enough for thou. 

>You are Anon, and there's a princess at your door.
>What?
>Before you can say anything to her, the night princess strikes a pose.
>Are you fucking serious right now.
>If she weren't a princess, you would have shut your fucking door in her face.
>Goddammit FINE.
>At least she doesn't have a bunch of shit jammed up her asshole this time.

>She's turned around and is presenting her rump to you.
>She's winking pretty hard.
>.....
>Oh, that is fucking disgusting.
>She just sprayed like three gallons of yellow marecum all over your porch.
>Sweet lord above you can smell it from here!
>Oh christ you wish you still had your cumdiaper to wrap around your face.
>The dry wood at your feet quickly absorbs the marecum. The smell isn't going to come out.

>Now Luna is approaching you. She has this glazed look in her eyes as she stops just a foot away from you.
>Oh, now she's doing that dumb horse-smile, where they curl their lips back and display their teeth.

>"Heeerrrruuhuhuhuhhuuuu"

"Could you please stop grunting in my face, Luna."

>Oh now what now?
>She's rubbing her face into your neck anOW JESUS
>She just bit you! What the fuck is wrRIIIIIIIP
>.......
>Your best bedtime shirt now has a big strip ripped out of it, starting from the collar and moving down south.

>You can feel something warm splash on your bare feet, and look down.
>This nasty bitch is spraying bursts of piss right on top of the puddle of marecum.
>What fresh hell is this?
>You take a step back and roughly shove Luna away from you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! Get away from my fucking house!"

>You slam the door in her dumb horse face, and yell out through the thick wood:

"I expect a cleaning crew by tomorrow morning. And it had damn well better be on your dime, not mine!"

>Thou art Luna.
>This dram colt, this mere peasant, hath reject'd the will of a princess.
>What did thou do wrong?
>Thou bar'd thy teeth as a sign of good health, releas'd thy marecum to bewray that thou wast ready for mating, and present'd him with thy urine so that the smell would let him know wot that thou wast fertile.

>badfeelsfilly.scroll

>Was Celestia right?
>Hast things really chang'd this much?
>Thou will talketh to her in the morn.
>Thou will win this colt's phallus if 'tis the last thing thou do.

AND THEN ANON WENT BACK INSIDE AND FUCKED HIS PONYWIAFUS
ONE OF THEM REALLY LIKED TEAT TWISTING BUT I WON'T SAY WHO
HINT IT'S NOT ANON

The End