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>be Anon in Equestria
>A wealthy migrant, you have skills, motivation, and enough dosh to get you settled in this 

new land of tiny colorful horses
>And enough reason to avoid ever being in law's reach back in old Terra Mariana again>You look 

again at the brochure you snagged off the train-ride here :"Wholesome living conditions! 

Friendly atmosphere! Loads of job oportunities!" Painted under a picture of what looks like a 

dude horse with the most 'come hither' look you have ever seen, behind an iconised image of 

the twin rulers of this state.
>Kind of weird, but hey, you have eaten weirder things than what your are holding so its 

calmly shuffled under the category of "Worlds just crazy"
>Stuffing it back into your pocket you look around for the first time in this trainstation you 

got off. Loads of ponies getting on and off the trains, followed by the ocasional whistle and 

scream of starting engines. 
>Mentally you count off all the things you need to get yourself settled in here:
1. find a place to rent/crash/buy[doubtfull you have that much dosh]
2. Rebuy vital clothing/ house supplies
2. find a job
3. Look for stuff to make life more comfy
>That last part drew a tiny prick of longing for good old internet....damn, you sorta miss it 

already..

>Be Bella Grim, a buttonmare of the pinstripe gang
>The most notorious gathering of illicit mares this side of Canterlot, your sisters bordellos, 

backalley rackets and casinos cover most of canterlots less wholesome needs.
>And while waiting for the next drop from the 6 o'clock train, you and your backup spotted 

just the most sought after addition to the local lovenests: an eye-catching curiosity
"Ummh...Hi there Ladies. Im new in town and i was hoping you could tell where i can find a 

room to stay around here?"
>bingo.

>Be Anon, and asking for guidance
>The moment you mentioned you were new in the capital, you notice all the mares grin and share 

knowing looks with eachother.
>Seeing girls faces lit up like that just tickles a bit on your sweet scenters, and before you 

know it you are smiling innocently back at the tiny herd of mares
"So, i was hoping you could point me in the direction of the nearest motel, or maybe even know 

who might have a place to rent?"
>"O' i believe i can be more t'n helpfull wit' that. S'ay, why don't we go t' a bar nearby. 

Me' sis own the place, an in 'dere i can tell' you's what to do"
>She says the last part with a strange purring tone in her voice...must be local dialect or 

something
>Still, an offer for a drink is something you have been genetically hardcoded to never refuse. 

Double that when asked by a woman...and mares are close enough for that to count
>With a happy smile you do a playful bow to the small fedora wearing mare, earning a few 

snickers and hoof giggles from the group 
"I would be delighted to. My throats been dry for the last few hours of my ride here"
>The fedora-mare gives another of those cute cheeky grins, whispers a few words with her 

friends, and then sets off alone down a nearby street. Grabbing your suitcase you follow her, 

a slight smile comes to your face at already meeting friendly people around here. Guess the 

gay looking pamphlet was right

>Be Bella Grim, the most cunning of mares around it seems
>And be leading the night's target toward its future as an another asset of the Pinstripe 

gang.
>You can barelly hold back a demented giggle at the thought of "Breaking in" this stallion 

once he is delivered to the local love-nest. Oooh, they break so easly, its just fun
>Sure, its a big lookin buck you are leading, but, its just a stallion. Those can barely take 

a mean stare from you without fainting, never mind when you should try an hooves-on-approach, 

as you currently are. 
>Oh, there he is right behind me....hmm...should try talking to keep his mind at ease...for 

now..
"Sshoo..... Where did you come from, cutie?"
>There...that got the dumb buck talking...goddamn....i forgot how chatty males are....
>"Well, and then i decided to see what oportunities i-" And on and on and on he 

drones...Intercepted with a few disinterested nods and 'oh''s from me to keep him 

distracted...Oooh, there's the spot! Finally!
>Looking up, i see the girls are in place on the roof....Damn, why the hell did those silly 

sods wear panty-hoes as mask, you will never know...
>'No class in the new blood...no class at all', as you refit your prized purple fedora, and 

prepare to take him quietly
>Silently falling a few steps just behind your mark, you take out a clean little handkerchief, 

and douse it thoroughly with a label-less bottle you pull out of your pocket. You hold the rag 

on your hooves, and give the signal to the girls as you sneak behind the new working boy

>Be Anon, wandering the streets with your new guide
"Aaand so, i came in posession of a free ticket on the next train, and i could barelly have 

enough time to even pack!"
>You have been bullshitting your ass off for the past fifteen minutes, as your companion hasnt 

said a single thing other than that...knowing nod or whinny of acknowledgment...
>It started out quite simple with you telling your pre-thought out story, but seems anything 

you say will just earn that nod...that 'I know you are lying, so better fess up' nod...
>To be honest its making you already a bit nervous...Maybe you are just too much reading in to 

it?
*Your guide yawns, and looks at you with a look of 'how long do you plan to bullshit 

me?'....The look you know quite well from a few poli......people...
>Oh damn....dont read into it....just try to change the topic...
*SPLASH!*
>OH THANK GOD, a distraction!
>Something fell from the sky just ahead of you, and hit a deceptively deep puddle...no wait, 

make it two somethings...
"FFfFrrriiiggginwheredidthisfffffriggingcoldwatercame*Smack* Ow! What?....Oh..."
>One of the two somethings pointed its hoof to me...
>The other of that somethings just took out a switchblade from its belt
>And only now i notice them having muggers mask on their faces...
...
...
...
>Right, time to run!
>Turning around you bump right into your small guide...
>Her hoof is outstretched toward you...No time to think! Just grab her and run!
>You pick the tiny mare quickly up with your hands as you make a quick dash, the mare yelping 

in fright
>She struggles in your lap for a moment but you have other things in mind, running as fast as 

you can away as you hold the mare in your arms
>She is light, and as you run full speed, you feel her suddenly stop struggling, going a bit 

limb even...
>No time to think, just Sprint, man!

>You are Anon, a brave man running away from a fight
>As you dash through the back-alleys you hear surprised shouts and the stomping of hooves 

behind you
>You quickly dart around corners, all the while trying to lose sight of your pursuers.
>Going on full sprint you finally reach one of the main streets, with a slow, steady traffic 

of people milling back and forth. With a last push of speed you dart into the crowd of ponies, 

hoping to blend in...
>That plan however backfires horribly, seeing as you are a gigantic hairless ape carrying a 

suited mare, and everyone else is barely your waist height...
>Still, you see the masked mares stop right at the alley's end, peeking out of it at you with 

their horrible masks and luxurious eyelashes...wait what brain?
>Still...seems they have halted their chase for now. You breathe a sigh of relief and look 

down on your lap.
>Wow...seems she fainted in fright...damn, poor thing...
>You take the handkerchief that seemed to have fallen on her muzzle by accident, and softly 

stuff it back in her pocket. Your hand brushes just for a moment against something heavy and 

metallic, but you don't search further. Its kind of personal enough you carried her as you did
>You look quite surprised at the fainted mare. Its amazing how vulnerable and peaceful she can 

look... And that cute eye-patch and those little scars on her cheeks....Just adorable..
>Looking around you spot a nearby empty bench overlooking the busy. With no better idea, no 

knowledge on where to go or what to do, you think waiting here for your guide to wake up again 

is the best of your options.
>i mean...you cant just leave her here and walk off...she did try to help you.
>Setting her fainted form on the bench beside you she instantly curls up and shivers as she 

feels the cold bench beneath her.
> You just cant let her lay like that...You take off your jacket, and lay it on her as you set 

yourself in for a small wait until she recovers...

>You are Anon, the sleepy horse guardian
>Five hours ago, you and your guide miss.....Damn, you never asked her name...
>Well, you and the cute fedora'd mare were traveling to an inn, and got jumped on by a group 

of ne'er-do-wells..
>Well....not so much of a group, there were just two of them
>Scary, big, mea....well, they were kind of short actually...
>In hindsight, you start to wonder why you actually ran
>Still, you ran, grabbed your poor guide who shortly after fainted, and now have brought her 

here on this bench to wait for her recovery
>For the past five hours, it seems...
>Damn, you have to go and be roped into guarding some damsel in distress...god damn gender 

inequality...
>You could just leave her here gently snoring on this park bench but....what happens if some 

pervert of a stallion sees her out cold like that?
>As you think that, you see her shiver a bit in her sleep even as she snuggles closer to your 

jacket. 
>Nah... I can be a cold person when i want to, but that would just be wrong
>Aaand....seems since the sun went down an hour ago, the nightly chill is gently getting to 

you too.
>damn....cute mares...
>actually...you think by now she is just snoring with her gentle high pitched whinnies next to 

you
>God damn...mares sure can be skittish

>You are Miss B. B. Grim the First, the up and coming local underworld Boss and soon to be a 

menace for equestrian authorities for a decade
>You gently stir as a small chill seeps into your underside. A small rawness is felt in your 

throat and nose, and the faintest smell of...some scent?
>Smells like...spilled liquer...but sweeter...with only a gentle sting of alcohol, rather than 

an overwhelming stench that usually accompanies a spilled drink
>Right... Waking up in a strange place with no memory on how you got there is considered quite 

average in both your line of work and in your lifestyle.
>Hmm...last thing i did, last thing i did? Take the promising looking target to the back 

alley... Call the girls...there was a tussle....
>A small smile creeps on your face
>Ahh...i must have went celebrating when we bagged the catch
>Jup...aaand since i should have had first right to ride as its my catch, i shooould be...
>Cuddling with a shell-shocked colt right about now....hmm...where is the boy-toy?
>Blindly reaching your hoof out, you hear a surprised deep gasp as your hoof reaches around 

something warm. Not even caring to be gentle, you wrap your hooves around it and pull it into 

your embrace
>Mmmmhmmm...cloth~
>And you fall back to well deserved victory sleep

>You are Anon, and this is just silly...
>Seems your charge got a bit chilly, and decided to wrap herself around your leg...
>Quite forcefully you might add..
>Deciding that no, you cant actually play a pillow to a mare for all night, no matter how cute 

or cuddly and...oh, she is warm...
>Never mind... Ah hell, im going to go and look for a nearby hotel to get her into
>You gently snake your arms between the mare cuddling with your leg, and lift the jacket-

bundled mare up to your lap
>You hear her sleepy mumbles about how she will whip that squirming out of you if you don't 

stop moving around, but you ignore that for now and hold the curled up sleeping bundle in your 

arms.
>You decide tho say heck with it...You notice a few ponies trotting around the street
>You see a colt nearby. As gently as you can carry, you set your sight toward him
>Damn....Now you know for certain that equestrians have no sense of fashion...

>You are Jay Rim, a colt of the night
>Seems this night will turn out to be like every last one. 
>Come to your corner, adjust your purple codpiece to show just a little bit of the good stuff
>Slightly wiggle in your leather pants as potential mares walk by, same old same old
>Until you notice out of the corner of your eye something giant approach you
>Oh fuck....
>God damn, no matter what they pay, never have a go with a minotaur or something larger than a 

princess
>That's rule number one...only rule you still have left and cling to
>Oh god, its coming my way!
>I-it...oh thank god its a dude...
>Carrying...What The f-fiddle?

>You are Anon, carrier of horses, briefcase you still cling on to, and a whole lot of contempt 

for the fasion of the colt before you
>As you approached the colt seemed almost ready to bolt away, untill it seemed to look in your 

face and recognize something...hmm, i guess it can be a bit scary for a big dude to approach 

you in the dark
>And as you get nearer, the colt suddenly turns skittish again, this time eyeing the mare in 

your arms with pin-pricked eyes
>Damn... This proves it, the creeps will be all over her if you leave her outside to sleep
"*Cough* Hi there. Say, do you know where i might find a nearby hotel? Hmm...fancier one if 

you can, but should be in walking distance"
>I mean...no point in leaving a mare on some run-down roach nest. You were raised better than 

that
>The colt stammers, his voice seeming almost sqeakish as he points his hoof down the main road 

"D-down that way, just a few hoof-penny-lengths is La Laul...Y-you cant miss it...sir..."
>Right, do a curtuous nod, and head off that way....damn creep
>As you leave, the bundle shifts again as you walk, and another row of small curses and 

mumblings directed at you for probably stirring her sleep
>You shake your head...Damn, and you thought women back there were needy...

>You are receptionist Angel Hair of the Grand La Laul, on this busy busy mid-week night
>A comfy position you might say, but worry has creeped into your mind that you cant really 

keep this position for the rest of your life
>I mean, Ponies only want to see young, attractive colts serving them...and ever so slowly 

your 26's are creeping up on you...
>Damn... Maybe you need to start looking for a mare? Maybe its not too late fo..
*Cling!*
>Oh, quests!
>With a practiced flourish you rise from your table and head to the door, a note of grace only 

stallions can archive as you glide toward the door
>Damn...you should have been a dancer like you dreamed of
>But..only dancers they like in this district are...What the f.... Oh sweet Celestia....
>We... We payed off the Pinstripes this month, right?
>...right?

>You are Anon, the one and only human to serve as a pack animal for animals. You feel so 

proud...
>You carry the ever-slowly more grumpy bundle with you through grand hotel lobby. You visibly 

wince as the high-noted *Cling* Announces your approach, since that earns you another half-

hearted tirade of curses and silly threats you begin to silently laugh at
>A receptionist... dude eyes you with a beaming smile as you enter
>Same smile that does not go away as he sees your size, but shatters like glass the moment you 

see his eyes trail over the purple fedora of your overly-grumpy package
>"B-B-B-but w-we p-p..."
>You quickly drop your suitcase to the ground and put a single finger before your lips as an 

universal sign of silence...you hope...god, those ponies have no fingers, so how are they 

going to know that gesture
>Next, you gently point downward to the sleeping mare on your lap to show that lets keep our 

tone a bit on the silent side
>The colt shuts up in a moment, and quickly backs away, his tail weirdly held right between 

his legs as he semi-sprints back to his desk
>He shuffles around with the keys there, and quickly tosses a silver looking one on the table 

ahead of you
>Damn... I have to say, that stallion could read my mind on what i wanted... Hmm...
>You point to the mare, then to the upper floors where you figure your rooms must be, and then 

at you coming back down again, to signal that you will pay later
>The receptionist just meep's and looks away, shivering a bit in his seat
>W-what? I mean...i am not that scary, right?
>Self-contemplating on your appearance, you carry the mare your briefcase and a key to the 

'XII' floor suite on your hand as you get in the elevator, and dial to floor 12
>...holy hell...this hotel only has 12 floors...did you just get scammed to take the 

presidential suite?...G...god damn it...

>You are miss Bella Belle Grimm, a magical princess in your purple-silver dress
>As you walk through your grand castle, you see ponies of all races bow down to you with no 

deception in their eyes, just awe at your presence.
>You, a lowly little runt growing up in the streets, now a full ali...
*Cling!*
>And there goes your sweet dream....Tirek damn it... I was so close to reaching the harem 

tower this night...
>Your agitation reaches out a bit... Gently rousing, you hear some small distant chatter, but 

you respond to that as you respond to any annoyance. With threats and occasional show of 

strength
>Just in this case, a 'show of strength' is ineffectual patting your hoof against 

that...whatever your nuzzled against...
>Dont care...dreams are cool
>And there we go~. Everything is quiet, i feel warm and...snuggled?
>Hmm...well...that's new for a broken in colt but...damn, i don't really mind
>You reach around to snuggle back a bit...you know, its kind of fun to not have them squirming 

and screaming every once in a while
>Aaand as you think of that, you feel yourself dropped into a fall...
>Oh no you don't you rat!

>You are the one and only Anon of Canterlot
>And as you just managed to open with one hand the suite's door, keep your suitcase with you 

through out all this trouble, enter the overly-large and...oh damn, this place is fancy...
>Wait...never mind, deal with sight-seeing later. First things first, find bed, drop of miss 

faintly there, and then get the hell out of here
>Randomly carrying your grumpy luggage through three misc rooms, one kitchen, and two 

bathrooms until you finally find the grand bedroom
>Ah, there it is....the softest looking bed you have seen a long time since... Ah, but first 

lets take care of this little visitor
>Seeing the mare snuggled and cuddled in your hands, you gently sit on the bed and lower her 

toward the waiting bed
>She seems to stir a bit, and worm her hooves right under your sides just to hold on a bit 

longer...it seems heart breakingly cute to see the tiny eye-patched mare snuggle in such a 

way, but....Honor demands that you at least get to know a mares name before being used as a 

snuggle toy for her for the entire night, so...
>With a heavy heart, you give the sleeping, snuggling mare one last squeeze, and gently lower 

her to her bed
>Aaaand....as you do that, she suddenly, fiercely wrapped her hooves around your 

jacket....Your only jacket....
>....
>...
>God damn it...
>You give a faint little pulls to get your jacket free...even offer her a pillow or...or maybe 

a silken blanket as cuddle material...
>No dice...
>That mare wont let go of your jacket willingly...

>You are Anon, the newly jacketless jackass, it seems
>Finally depositing your poor guide in the bed, you have tried to gently pull your jacket away 

from the suited, sleeping mare in the bed
>Nope...You cant pull even an inch of it loose from her. You fear you might tear your jacket 

if you pull too hard
>Also the mare gives cute little growls with every pull
>Well....Time to cut your losses. Ah, you will just approach her some other day to ask that 

back
>You theftly remove your wallet from the suit, and leave it at the pinstripe suited mare's 

snuggles for now
>Thinking for a moment...you pull the blanket from the bed over her as she releases the cutest 

sleepy little sigh
>She is still clothed under there, mind...but you dont really see how undressing a stranger 

for bed can ever be explained away without coming off creepy
>And so, picking up your suitcase and putting the wallet away, you give a quiet farewell to 

your fainted guide, and a bit teary eyed goodbye to your jacket...damn, you loved that 

thing...
>And so, you head out of the bedroom, manage to get lost trying to find the exit, and head 

downstairs with a slightly gloomy mood.
>God damn...This is a bit more expensive than you thought for a good deed

>You are Angel Hair, receptionist for the Grand La Laul hotel, and you are panicing...
>Half an hour ago, some giant hairless ape carried the most dangerous pony in canterlot 

through your front door...
>No....not the most dangerous...but high enough above you in the food-chain that you dont want 

anything to do with it
>And...in panic, you tossed the presidential suite key to her...A Suit that is currently 

reserved for a soonly arriving dignitaries...
>Oh sweet Celestia... Are.. Those were gangsters going up....you expect a few carriage full of 

those "Party Colts" to be pulling up any minute now.... and with heavy, burly mares with more 

scars and knives than braincells...
>And you just gave them the key to the crystal guard dignitaries suit key...
>You...you are doomed...
"*Cough* Hi there"
>Oh sweet Luna save me 
>This is my end....

>You are anon of Canterlot, and once again you question equestrian work ethics
>As you came down from your accidentally rented palace, you approach the receptionists desk 

with some trepidation over the soon to be horrific hotel bill...
>Well...its not like you are in any short of dosh, as you glance down again at your briefcase 

that you would honestly hand-cuff to your arm if that did not rouse a lot of suspicion
>Still... Its the point that counts... And you did a good thing. Saving an innocent little 

mare who just wanted to help you out from being left at the mercy of the cold cold night
>Hmm...I mean...you are already here... might as well rent a room for yourself as well... 

Could be a little home base to get you started here for the first few nights
>And as you approach the front desk again, the previously cheery receptionist seems to be 

mumbling to himself and sniffling as he holds his head on the table dejectedly
>Hmm...maybe some new fangled meditation ritual he has going on there or something... Hipstery 

little thing most likely
>Still, you need a room, he can meditate and mumble himself to paradise if all he cares to
"*Cough* Hi there"
>You hear a few more sniffles come from the stallion, him seemingly intent on continuing his 

weird rituals
"Umm....Hello?"
>You poke the stallions hoof a few times, and soon he turns his head up, his eyes glistening 

and shining a bit too weirdly 
"Hi there. I would like to pay for both the room you gave me, and rent a new one for..the next 

two nights"
>The pony gives me the biggest puppy-dog-eyed look you have ever seen, and sniffles, rubbing 

his nose with his hoof "S-sorry about that, sir...G-got lost in thoughts.."

>You are Angel Hair, the doomed pony
>As you look up from your well earned bout of hopelessness, the same beast that brought this 

all down on you smiles sweetly at you
>You barely contain a contemptuous snort, but professional courtesy comes first. I mean, even 

as the great ship Alitanic sunk, the band kept playing..,
>And as you look up to him, blinking your eyes as you do, you notice the same, damning things 

that you always seen in books and movies, but never in real life...
>A Homme Fatale... The confidence not out of place of an officer of the Wonderbolts. The blind 

assurance of his place above you, above everything....
>The ease and lack of a single damn given for modesty as he carried one of the most dangerous 

things around as nothing but a harmless kitten...
>This guy...he is trouble, you just know it
>Aaand now he is waving his hand before my face...did i miss something?
"Hello? Do You have any rooms? Can you understand me?"
>You blush a bit, slumping back a bit on your seat...sweet Cele, i didn't notice anything he 

said
"can i get a room in here? And pay for the one on the 12th floor?"
>Of course.... I'm actually surprised he cares to pay for that... the pinstripes usually just 

take what they want... Hmm...maybe its a trap...Maybe they want me to ask for a price for 

it...so they could stab everyone here....
>Oh, well two can play that game!
>"Well, sir the room you and your...Madame used are already payed for...."
>There we go, placate the monsters, so they wont destroy and/or kidnap anyone of importance
>To that, the towering ape brightens up noticeably. Damn...he seems almost stallionly when he 

is a bit more carefree
"Ah, well that is a wonderful surprise. Say, are there any more free rooms available tonight?"
>What are you planning, you vile snake....
>"Yeeeeeeesssss...."

>You are Mirror Glint, the Crystal Kingdoms Dignitary to Equestria
>Weary...oh so weary you are as you reach for your hotel...your only sanctuary in this... 

obsessively insane kingdom.
>Reaching the front lobby, you dismiss your two guards to stay in their transport carriage as 

you pass a strange looking minotaur haggling with the receptionist. Well, you have better 

things to do than trade courtesies with that pretty-boy, so you head straight for the elevator
>Huh...seems the pretty boy noticed you just as you got on, and with a yelp pushed past the 

minotaur, rushing up to your elevator
>Leeeets see if he can reach it before the doors close...Doors are 

closing...closing...closing...
*click* *KLANG*
>Nope...he did not make it. Shame on him
>You enter the room with your key, lock it behind you, and just give a finally relieved sigh 

of reaching your safe haven
>Not even bothering to turn on the lights, you just take off your formal robes, toss them to 

the ground, and jump into your luxurious bed
>Ah....safe at last...

>You are *KLANG* Anon of *KLANG* canterlot, and *KLANG* seems like you will be a future called 

witness to describe the receptionist's head trauma
*KLANG*
>He hits his head against the elevator doors again...
*KLANG*
>Aaand again...
>And again...
>Right... Crazy is in style here so...maybe just ask about the empty rooms again 
"Uh...Mister...? "
*KLANG*
>"Angel Hair Sir. Or just Angy for short"
*KLANG*
"Right...So...Do you have any free rooms for the night, mister Hair?"
*KLANG*
>"No...No we do not..."
>And with saying that he stops developing the first skull-door symbiotic life-form that could 

have come to dominate every hotel lobby on this continent
>Instead, he walks back to his desk [a bit wobbly you might add], pulls out a big metal plate, 

and starts walking toward the main doors leading outside
>Confused, you follow him outside. And as you exit the building, he closes the door behind 

you, and places a big red 'CLOSED' sign before it
>And without even looking at you he mumbles as if into the distance "I am going to get so 

drunk i dont care where i wake up...Want to join?"
>...
>Hell with it, you needed a drink five and an half hours ago. With a nod you let the horse 

lead the way, who seems to be developing a small bump on his forehead

>You are Lady Grimm of Canterlot, a wealthy noblemare
>And as you look over your balcony, you are greeted to the most wonderful of sighs. 
>A busy town, toiling away all day and night along the ever-restless highways, streets and 

markets as they go on about their business
>And there you are...On a balcony across your bedroom...Covered in a lazy, slightly revealing 

morning robe as you look down on them all..All of them below you... all of them happy and fat 

at your most merciful administrations
>And as you watch down the bustling city with delight, you hear your concubine stir and give a 

small whinny at you being away
>Soon, soon love~. Let me just watch them for a moment longer~
*Whomp*
>You blink awake from the sudden shift as you feel somepony jump into your bed
>Acting on instincts well honed by the years, you spring up and over whatever invaded your 

private space
>A surprised, quite stallionly whinny comes as you tackle your surprise'r beneath you
>Blinking your eyes clear, you notice a...crystal pony stallion, staring up at you with a 

terrified look on his face
>He opens his mouth...and with practiced grace you put your hoof down his mouth, muffling his 

alarmed cry
>You giggle, getting into the spirit of things. Well, this was not what you expected, but life 

always honed you to be an opportunist~
>And as the stallion feebly twists and tries to struggle, you just smile and come a little bit 

closer to the one that dared invade your bed

>For a moment you notice a strange...gray cloth stay between your two bodies...Huh...something 

to ponder about tomorrow, tonight is for this~

>You are the one and only Anon, a slightly buzzed human in equestria
>And for the past hour you have enjoyed the company of a morose looking stallion who invited 

you to this fine fine establishment
>And as you think that, you rise your hand from the slightly sticky wooden table as you lean 

back on a rickety old chair
>This place certainly has a charm to it... An ill lit wooden cellar, with an old barmare 

serving both you and your ad-hoc companion with all the hospitality of an industrial bot
>Still, it was nice you came. Soon after you two came here and started drinking away, you have 

started enjoying the atmosphere here
>A lot of lovely mares here, barely any other males of any species besides you two
>And you feel a bit flattered by the attention, as you notice occasional glances from every 

third mare here
>And as the night wears on, your companion, downing his current shot of Tequila that he was so 

insistent on pouring into him, gives a little shiver, and passes out face first onto the table
>Hmm...shame... Well, at least its a dude passing out this time. You don't have to worry about 

anything bad happening to him
>And as you sip your current drink and mull over what to do next, a group of mares rises from 

their table and heads toward you

>You are miss Grimm, shaking your wet short mane as you walk out of the luxurious looking 

bathroom
>With a smile you pick up your bit ruffled clothes from the floor, and suit back up. Buttoning 

up your vest, you walk back into the bedroom with a lovely afterglow smile
>And as you return to your bedroom, a tied up stallion gives a little meep, trying hard to act 

as if he hasn't tried to wiggle out of your makeshift binds
>With a giggle you approach his tied-up, spread-eagled body and helpfully tighten the cloth 

strip that had gotten a bit loose from his right fore hoof as he struggled, earning a few 

panicked yelps from him
>Well, no matter. You lean forward and plant a small little peck on his cheek as you nuzzle 

the sticky, sweating and most wonderfully smelling crystal lover one last time. 
>That earning only a few more panicked mewls from him, you grin and put back on your purple 

fedora, and head toward the window
>Opening and theftly exiting along the fire escape route, you blow one more air-kiss toward 

your bed-invader, and exit along the fire-escape ladder
>A task quite difficult for anyone without hands, but you slide down it with practiced ease
>Aaand feeling a bit happy about how this night has went, you decide to celebrate it with a 

drink
>In your favorite, most seediest place around
>The "Barrels Bottom"

>You are Anon, a humble, slightly drunk person as you happily chatter away with a group of 

mares before the bar
>Your passed out companion, the receptionist Angy seems to still be snoring while passed out 

on the table, so you know he is quite alright
>A bit more than alright as you see out of the corner of your eye, as a slightly tubby looking 

mare took a seat next to him and is now taking care of him by poking the passed out stallion 

and giggling
>Damn lucky git to get attention even without trying. Guess some just have that natural charm
>The rest of the mares are quite wonderful company as well. A bit odd bunch, but well meaning. 

For some reason they keep mentioning on what jobs they have and how much they earn, all while 

giving you strange looks
>Must be quite a workaholic bunch. But still, you respect women that have what it takes to 

punch through the business world. And seeing them, you know for certain they are true hearted 

workers, not just a bunch of office hotties
*Cling*
>Huh...the bar died down all of a sudden as all the mares seem to stare off toward the door
>Looking around them, you notice the cute fedora mare again. Oh, she looks much better now, 

she is even giving everyone that cheeky little smile

>You are agent Honey Trap, Part of Luna's organized crime unit Canterlot subdivision No.02
>Going around in civilian clothes, you have been on the lookout in the "Barrel's Bottom" for 

three hours already
>A thing that would rise questions, but luckily nobody ever suspects a stallion to be seedy, 

and wont question him if he only drinks orange juice for the whole night
>An observation operation, your informants hinted that this place is the hub and general 

meeting place for all of the LOCAC2's biggest targets
>But since this was just a hint from some prostitute, your direct supervisor thought this was 

just a waste of the agencies resources, and told you to ignore it
>And as you trot out of the bathroom, you become aware on just how wrong she was
"Clear out everypony... No, not you, big boy", comes a rough, malicious voice you know too 

well from the door
>Oh crud....You must have been compromised... The informant must have set up a trap!
>That!...LUNA DAMNED Codpiece polisher!
>No...you wont go down that easily... You retreat back into the bathroom before anyone 

notices, and look around
>Crud...no windows....
>And...no backup coming...
>D-dont panic....

>You are Bella Grim, a lucky lucky lady it seems
>While your memory is quite hazy on what went on yesterday, or what happened, noticing the 

same oddity you tried to catch before again, and this time in your own territory, you cant 

help but grin
"Clear out everyone", your voice containing just the perfect amount of cocksure command and 

slight threat, you grin as everyone starts hurriedly gathering their stuff. As you notice the 

surprised looking human rise as well, you point your hoof at him and grin "No, not you, Big 

boy~". You cant help but keep out a little purr in your voice as you say that
>A quick call for the locals to leave, and every mare with half a brain quickly finishes their 

drink and heads out. You notice a few even leave their drinks simply on the table in a hurry 

to leave. The barmaid grumbles quite a bit to herself as a lot of those costomers storm off 

before paying their tab, but she is smarter than to raise the issue in front of you
>Instead, she breathes out a small sigh, takes out a black Labled bottle, and places it before 

the bar without a single word
>With a grin you walk toward the human, passing many last mares hurrying away, one porky one 

even carrying her passed out date on her back as she skitters away. The boy-toy seems to want 

to say something about that, but just shrugs and looks at you without a trace of fear in his 

eyes
>Well, that is a wonderful change in attitude, that you hope to soon correct~

>You are Anon, a pleasantly surprised human currently enjoying a nice drink
>Seems as just as the bar was about to be closed, your guide appears out of nowhere and let 

you stay for a bit longer
>Just your luck, actually. There is still half a bottle for you to go, and you previous 

drinking partner, An....huh, where did he go?
>Ah, must have went home with the crowd or something
>You smile a bit to yourself as you turn to face the mare with the wonderfully cheeky smile, 

as she makes her way to the seat next to you. She takes a seat, and as you two sit you both 

almost come close to being on eye-to-eye level with eachother. Still, you dont have to crain 

your neck too much, and seems like she wont have to do the same eighter, so its fine
"Its nice to see you again, Missh. I hope you are feeling better now?"
>Huh...a slight drunken drawl is in your voice... Might be best to call it a night soon. 

Still, you can at least have a small round with the mare to see if she is all right 
>No point in starting a topic with what she has done with my jacket. Tho she took it, she 

might be still a bit terrified of what happened, and lets not thhhraumathise the cute thing 

any furtherrr
>And to that slightly stammering welcome and your own glass-eyeness, she just grins wider and 

pours a glass full of vicious looking black liquid that...oddly smells like home
>"My my my, how caring for a stallion. But yes, i am feeling a lot, lot better, sweet cheeks" 

She grins and rises her glass to her mouth, taking a big sip of it while eyeing you with that 

slightly cute, searching look
"Oh, that's wonderful to hear. Oh, and i think i forgot to introduce myself. My name is Anon, 

and who might be the lovely mare that guided me before?"
>A bit of flattery and flirt is seeping into your voice...hmm... Not what you intended to do, 

but seems she enjoyed it a bit, her posture changing just a bit in surprise
>"I..um...Am Bee Bee, and..."

>You are miss ...
"..um...Grimm... yea"
>And you just suddenly stuttered like a little filly on asking out her first colt-friend
>Now...that little thing threw your mind out of sync...Did he say you guided him?.. 

Wait...Didnt i capture him... Wait, what happened last night?...Why is he free? Wait, why is 

he actually not afraid? Drunken bravery?
>As a being of mostly rushing hormones and varying degrees of intoxication, picture-perfect 

memory was one of the first things sacrificed on the altar of adulthood, but... 
>Oh Cele... He is looking at you with a weird look on his face...How long were you lost in 

thought?
>You but on a bluff, quickly bringing the glass of stinging black to your lips, draining it to 

buy time to think 
>He gives a deep little laugh, and reaches his hoof...hand at you...You are too confused and 

need time to think...what to do, what to sa-..
>He grabs your hoof with his...strange, long fingers as the slender things curl around your 

hoof, twisting around and binding it, bringing it upwards as your hair stands on edge from the 

s-strange weird feeling
"-Sa-Ha-hay!"
>The drunken ape brought his lips and kissed the tip of your hoof, and then gave you 

a...hungry looking grin as he releases his touch
>T-this... is a bit new...Need time to think, need time to think! Need to be aggressive and 

direct to him to throw him off balance, just like mother said!
>You try giving a challenging, the usual "You are beneath me since you are only a wussy 

stallion while im cool" look you honed so well on nightly pickups on this place...Nice!, now 

to top it off with some self-confidence throwing snipe, and like all stallions, his first 

reaction should be outraged hysterics and proving that he is not that simple a man...Its 

simple, like you have practiced before
"T-thank you...Felt like a kiss from a prince"
>Hah! That should throw enough salt into the insult
>W-why is he just grinning and thanking you for the compliment?

>You are Honey Trap, Agent of LOCAC2, currently on your free time
>Inside a bathroom of an emptied, peeking from just a half-opened crack in the door at the bar 

and holding your breath for all your life's worth
>Seems by some damned luck you took a bathroom break just as an order to clear out the room 

was given....and now you lack any hope of blending in with the masses for a quick escape...
>And the longer you stood hidden, the more obvious it became that something extremely shifty 

is going on, and should anyone know you peeked...
>You gulp, shifting a bit as you try to get a better look at what goes on
>Seems one of the Pinstripes head mares has had a meeting with this...unknown human... male...
>Seems well dressed... but then again, almost all humans seem either well dressed, or a bag of 

rags to most ponies...honestly only a few fashionista's can describe humans clothing in any 

other way then "Covering most of it", and "um...nice?"

>Having to go with your guts, it seems this...colt, you presume from the distance... Seems 

totally unfazed...even a bit flirty with the main target...
>And the Pinstripe is... nervously shifting from her seat?
>Hmm... Could this be a possible "Grand Mister" of one of her bordello's? Possible... Nobody 

else would dare be so non-chalant to psychopathic mares like that...
>Or...Maybe new gang member?...Hmm...no, seems unlikely... Its a stallion...Maybe a possible 

drug-mule?...No...Those are usually young, stupid and nervous..
>Oh...seems the pinstripe waved the waiter to leave...Now this means this is important if even 

their low ranking member has to leave...
>You...Could be possibly hearing in on Something Big...
>You...just have to get closer to hear... This could actually be something that sticks to 

those crooks and harlots...
>Looking around, you notice a table just next to the restroom... If you crawl, they wont have 

line of sight...and then...maybe you can actually catch some perps! Prove to the mares at the 

station that stallions can work and bust crooks too!
>filled with determination to prove yourself, you crouch down on the ground and slowly push 

the door open, hoping it will go unnoticed

>You are Anon, a quite happy gentleman
>Seems as you started speaking with the shy mare, she locked up. Luckily, your drunken 

reasoning on trying to do a silly little gesture to ease her up payed off, and she even 

complimented you as she seems a lot more relaxed
>She even started to look at you with a funny look. Her uncovered eye just squinting a bit to 

look playful to you. You just smile back and thank her for her, you admit, a bit shy and 

stuttering compliment, but a compliment nevertheless
>Huh, never have been called to kiss like a prince. Well, guess a bit of flattery is not 

native only to you, as you happily chatter with her
>You notice out of the corner of your eye the bathroom door push open, and nobody step 

out..hmm, must have been a drift of wind or something...Still, that reminds you of your most 

basic desires
>You smile and rise from your seat, and promise to her to be back in a moment as you walk off 

toward the door with a picture of a stallion on it
>Hmm...must be the bathroom for men, you guess...
>And walking into the empty room, you set yourself up t...

>You are miss Bella Belle Grimm
>And..uh...yeah...
>You are befuddled
>You are used to speaking to scared little stallions...or to those not willing to admit being 

a bit scared of you... you mean..its been like that ever since you grew up
>But... yeah...That was... Quite...
>You blush a bit, and bite your lip
>Well... No matter, you are just...bit riding on that afterglow from the hotel..right! 
>Thats it! Nothing else...just... kind of feeling happy about being approached, thats all and 

talked to...Must be hormones or something...
>you kind of lose yourself in thought, until a small ruckus near the table next to the 

bathrooms nods you out of those thoughts, and your eyes drift toward the closed door
>Hmm... He is...he is a catch...
>A valuable catch...
>And... at the end of the day, you are just... a provider of goods, nothing more, or 

...nothing less
>You see her drink unsupervised, and with a small sigh and a practiced reach, you reach into 

your coat pocket and uncork a small glass bottle
>You pour a cork's worth of it into the cork...and then into the drink...and you think a bit 

about the size of the damn ape...
>And you pour another cork full of it in there
>A small, oily coating seems to have reached his drink. With theft moves you use the small 

plastic cork to swirl the drink around, just enough to dilute the concoction in it
>And just as you finish mixing it, you hear the door right behind you open
>Well...Maybe...he wont mind it so much...

>You are Agent Honey Trap, a quite thoughtless stallion in hindsight...
>Just as you ducked under the table the whole room got quiet...
>And then...heavy clops...no...something more heavy and dull...
>and slower..heavy stomps, steppin in pair toward your table...
>H-have you been discovered? the...The door! They, they must have noticed it! Oh, how could 

i...
*Creak* *Creak* *Creak* *CREEEEEaAAAK* *Phomph!*
>Oh...oh dear, my heart please stay still....
>You cup your chest as your heart beats a mile a minute, feeling the weight of that... 

Mister's footsteps under your hooves as floorboards bent from his passing...
>Y-you... Are a bit too far from them still...you need to get closer...Hmm...Behind the bar is 

a possibility...they cant see you there if you are ducked behind it...
>There is a stretch of open ground between your table and the bar....You...you need to time 

this perfectly...
>Looking out under the tablecloth, you notice the Pinstripe sigh, and turn her back on you, as 

she does something with her suit
>Now's your chance! 
>You crawl and slink just along the...eww...dirty, muddy floor on your belly as you slink 

behind the bar..
>Well...that cost you your nice Fragrance&Foals's coatshine...Still.. You have a mission, and 

no dirtied coat or chipped hooves are going to stop you, no ma'am!

>You are Anon, a quite swimmin' fellow in Canterlot
>For the past hour you enjoyed drinking with a slightly emotional stallion...then came 

mares...then came the shy mare
>Aaaand now, your are just splashing water to your face to wake a bit of sobriety to your face 

in the bathroom, as you stare at the mirror
>...right! Good enough to spiff' me up! 
>With [drunken] confidence you walk out of the bathroom, stumbling against something as you 

stride over, just to see her look at you with that cute innocent look as she sputters a bit
>You take your seat, and smile as you look at the two drinks placed before you two
>Well~. One for you, one for her, aaand your thoat has been drying for another drink ever 

since you left
>And...as you reach for it a hoof is placed over your hand...Huh, seems the shy guide looks 

you straight into your eyes...well...eye, since...you know...eye-patch and all...
>"Uh...Wait for me to share a drink! Yeah!.."
>Well...ok?
>"Ah!... um...Wonderful! I will just...go visit the shittery... i mean....The...lavatory..."
>Well..this is odd... but, hell, you are in a new land. Quirky people are what you honestly 

expected. You gave her a happy wave and wink to her to return soon
>Well...
>You wrap your fingers around your glass
>Maaaaybe just a sip...
*CLIRRRrr*
>What the fuck was that?

>You are Honey Trap, a Cele damn soon-to-be boy-toy for a psychopath if your luck continues as 

it does...
>As you crouched and crawled along the floor...suddenly the human returns a lot sooner than 

you thought, slamming the restroom door open with healthy vigor
>And walk with confidence only the drunk can have forward, giving you a small kick in the ribs 

as he stumbles upon your laying form... Thank the night that he just stumbled and you got a 

chance to slink behind the bar, out of sight and out of mind
>Nursing the small bruise that the brutish bastard did to you, you quietly neak along the 

floor toward where the two are seated, pushing your back against the bar seperating you from 

them untill a small afterthought hits you
>How the hell are you going to escape this place without being taken for the obvious spy you 

are...
>Umm...hmm...
>This is a bar...so.. The only people who wont clear out when god damn monsters order it are 

the brave and the fools...and since you know for certain that you are neighter of the above 

options.... You need to be an artificial fool...
>You need to look and smell like a drunk...
>A...hard thing to do...You sniff your hoof, and nod...
>Jup...still smells too suspicious to be a drunk...
>You...you need to mask yourself...
>Looking around, you spot a heavy cupboard right next to you
>Gently pulling on it...and you barely bite down a depressed sigh...locked..
>Looking all around you can see on the floor level of the bar...nope...not a single drink or 

smelly liquid laying around for you to use as your disguise...
>But what abo-..
*Clink*
>Hmm...
>The sound of bottle hitting fine crystal glass...
>That means.. The only drink around is the one on those two's table...
>Jup...Need to think of a plan B-
"I- uhh...Mean the lavatory!"
>Rushing footsteps leave right next to you...
>Wait..that means the human is alone now..
>Wait, that is your chance! You just need to make a distraction, swipe the drink, and then 

pretend to be a regular drunk!

>Fuck it, no time to think, this will work!
>Just make a... a ...Oooh, dirty glass dishes are hanging just above you, waiting for the 

morning cleanup...
>Right! Plan, toss-and-pray, here we go!
>You toss the glass over the edge with a wide arc, hoping to fly over the human's field of 

vision
*KLIRRrrrr...*
"What the f...."
>Yess, now's your chance!
>You rise up from behind the bar as you see the Bordello Mister turn his back on you, and 

swipe quickly one of the glasses from the table
>You quickly retreat behind the bar, your heart pounding as you hide yourself under the sink
>As you slowly wash your mouth with the stinging drink, you start pouring the rest over your 

coat as you pray to Luna that your ruse worked

>You are Anon of Canterlot, and what the hell?
>Huh...seems a wine glass suddenly shattered near the back of the bar..huh..oh, its near a 

table...maybe wind knocked it off of it or something
>You shrug, and return with your drink in your hand to look over your vacant compainons seat
>You are drunk... you have no time to deal with silly shit mother nature does to gather your 

attention... Silly dame... Trying to knock stuff over with wind and stuff...
>You dismissedly blow a rasberry, as you rise your glass to your lips, untill...
>Wait... Where is her drink? It was... 
>You look at your feet...nope...no glass shards there...
>You look over the bar...
>Nope...nothing there
>What the....
>Fuck it.. as you told, you have no time to deal with silly stuff
>You reach over the bar to grab a new glass, your fingers grabbing at random over the bar
>You grab something soft and hear a small squeak. You quickly let go, thinking you must have 

touched a toy or something as you blindly touch around, hoping to grab another glass...gods 

man, this is a bar, there has to be a glass around here somewhere...
>Ah, There we go! Your hand hits something solid and of approximate weight to a glass. You 

pull it up with flourish and look happily at...
>A glass!
>a dirty glass.. you can quite visibly see smudged lip-prints on the walls...
>And...something dark and root-like at its bottom...
>Man...you cant pour her a drink in a glass like this..
>You look at your own, pure and shining glass of swirling dark liquid...
>Nah... You are a man. You can stand a bit of filth.
>You put your glass where her one was before, and pour from the bottle some more into the new 

dirty one
>Keeping the dirty glass to yourself, you wait for her return
>I mean...no point in making her more nervous than she is already. She just opened up to you 

and all...no point in worrying her with that little stuff

>You are miss Bella Belle Grim, splashing a bit of water to your muzzle as you stare into the 

mirror
>You see your face in the reflection... the same cold, deep red eye stares right back. You see 

the small scar trailing out from right under your left eye's eyepatch, continuing downward 

till it reaches the top of your nose
>You see the tiny snip missing from your left ear, and as you open your lips, you see a 

slightly smoke stained teeth, with one of those you lost replaced with a golden one
>And as with a sigh you close your lips, you notice a tiny bit of your lower right lip 

missing, lost years ago to an unfortunate night
>You sigh... 
>This is not a face that can charm a stallion... Scare them, of course. Intimidate, pressure, 

threaten, easily...
>B-but how can anyone like something like this?
>...
>No...no they cant... He is probably just too drunk to even see you clearly
>You grab a small paper towel from the dispenser nearby, drying your face with it
>And... If he should become sober, he will just... Run away, like they all do...Like they 

should do
>So... 
>You should take what you can from him... While he is still around
>Crumbling up the paper, you cast one last glimpse at the mirror, as if to search or hear 

someone argue... fight back or deny your thoughts..
>...
>Nothing... Your reflection is the same it has always been
>Shaking your head you exit the bathroom. Returning, you see him looking around the bar as if 

searching for something, but his search ends the moment he glances you. He clutches his still 

filled glass as he happily calls out to you, and...Seeming happy to see your scarred mug again
"Bee Bee, Lovely mare!"
>You cant help but crack a tiny smile as you approach him

>You are Anon, a quite happy fellow in some good company
>Calling out to the nice mare as she returns from the bathroom, seeing her crack a small, 

shyish smile just elevates your mood a bit more
>As she returns to her seat next to you, you smile and rise your glass to her
>But as she takes her seat, you see she is a bit uncomfortable. Her eye darts to your glass 

every now and then, and when you try to make eye contact, she looks down, as if a bit ashamed
>Aww... She must have remembered she took your jacket... Well, thats no reason to ruin her 

mood. You gotta make her forget about that
>You smile, and call for her with all the softness your slightly drunken voice can master
"Bee bee..."
>She looks up to you wide-eyed, as if caught on a lie
>You cant help but smile and reach your hand forward, petting her soft mane
>She winces as your hand approaches, her whole body tensing up the moment you touch her... But 

seems as your fingers just gently run through her soft mane she relaxes, tilting her head even 

a bit toward you
"Its all right. Im not upset, and im happy to have enjoyed your company"
>There. That should make her forget about the jacket
>She looks at you with surprise and slight shock in her face... Poor girl, im guessing she 

overreacted. Its just a piece of clothing after all
>But a moment later, she starts blinking a bit and sniffling slightly as she rubs her face 

with her free hoof
>You are worried for a moment that you might have said the wrong thing... But then you hear a 

small, relieved giggle coming from her

>"T...thank you", she says as she once more can look you in the eye again.
>You grin and rise your glass to the now reassured mare, smiling widely 
"Come now, no reason to be sad. Lets have a little toast"
>You rise your glass and with a little *Klink* bump it against her own as you wait for her to 

rise it to her lips
>Huh... Her eye widens and turns into a single prick. Just as you are rising your glass she 

suddenly puts her hoof on yours and pulls it down 
>"Don't!.... I mean... There is a fly in there!..."
>You look down at your drink in surprise, but before you can inspect it further she swipes it 

from your hand. Quickly she places it behind her on the bar, and with what to you seems 

practiced ease, reaches over the counter and pulls out a new glass...Huh, its even clean and 

shiny...Damn, you should have looked more before
>She laughs a bit nervously as she quickly uncorks her black bottle again, refilling your 

glass and placing it in your hands again
>"S-sorry about that. I just know how much you stallions cant stand filth and such"
>She gives a small nervous laughter, and rises her glass quickly up before you could protest
>"Lets drink!"
>You cant help but crack a smile at her silly jokes, and with a happy headshake you bump your 

glass again against her and raise it to your lips
*Klink* "To new friends, Bee Bee"
>*Klink* "To.." She breathes out a relieved sigh, and looks to you a lot more relaxed and 

relieved as she rises the glass to her lips "To new friends, Anon... And call me Bella please"

>You are Bella Belle, and...
>*Klink* "... And Call me Bella please"
>You are happy... In a way. You glance just behind you at the dirty, drugged glass you took 

away from anon as you take a gulp from your drink... Huh?
>Wow...it actually was a dirty looking glass... How did you miss that when you poured him a 

drink?
>You swallow your gulp, and an oily, soapy aftertaste of the drink fills your mouth
>You shrug, and turn back toward him. 
>He... He... He is...
>You cringe a bit at him managing to surprise you so, inadvertently blushing as you remember 

suddenly fearing so much that he would hate you for what you did, but...
>He... He said its alright...That...That im...
>He is... Nice... He... He didnt...He...say.... you...pretty...he...wait...
>Oily...Taste...Odd....wait...
>wait...
>Wait...
>OH THAT MOTHerfffff...
>"Youuuuushnnnnoff...."
>Fuck...that...ape....Punch im!
>You rear back your hoof and throw it frantically toward his face as your vision turns dark

>You are Anon of Canterlot, and....
>"Youuuushonnoffff..."
>You see your companions eyes roll up as she rears her hoof back, and starts falling off the 

chair
>Reacting as quickly as you can, you move closer to catch her, your drink you are still 

holding on slightly splashing against her back as your arms curl around her
>Her hoof falls quickly behind your neck, surprisingly pulling herself close into your lap as 

you hear her drunken, surprised squeak
>You....Well this is a surprise
>You check to see if she is still breathing, placing your finger under her nose...
>Jup...Still breath..*lick* well, she is certainly breathing, as you wipe your finger on your 

buttoned shirt and try setting her back on her bar-stool
>You seat her light form there....and the moment you let go she starts falling on her back off 

of it. You quickly catch her in your arms again, holding her like a small, surprisingly 

quickly drunken kitten
>You look around the place as the mare keeps groggily wiggling in your lap... You see nobody 

around, so in drunken logic, you rise her small form on the bar before you where she can 

actually lay down. Even a casual glance on the ground tells you that there is a layer of filth 

and dirt on the ground, and you see nothing more comfortable than a barstool at hand to lay 

her down on
>Softly placing her on the wooden flat area, you take your hands away just as you see her 

reach her hooves toward you, open as if to beg for a hug.

>You are Bella de Grim, a mare furiously smacking a gigantic stuffed monkey
>Why?....Who cares! *whack* That...that Tirek rimming *Whack* banana stuffin' *whack* loose 

shafted *whack* that*whack**whack*whack*....
>Suddenly the giant stuffed ape leans over you, and as you respond with only a small, 

surprised yelp it wraps its long, stuffed limbs around you and pulling you toward it
>N-no! Monkey...N-...
>You try to rear your hoof back again to smack it some more, but your limbs feel hard, 

sluggish as you feel suddenly drained... The stuffed giant stumpy arms just slowly curl along 

your back, pulling you into a warm, soft hug...
>You sniffle, trying to still feebly hit it as your anger fades, a scent of... 

that...familiar...drink-not-spilled...
>the giant arms just gently hold you in place as you feel the warmth....you feel safe... 

Comfy... its... being held like a little filly...
>You...still try to shift around, but seems every move you make just makes you shift more 

comfortably onto its lap...in the end you just give up, giving a defeated...happy little 

sigh... You feel the stuffed animal's one paw reach up to your head from behind, softly 

ruffling your mane as you bury your face in its soft, comfy chest
>You... know you should be angry at the stuffed toy for some reason.... you cant remember why, 

but a moment ago you felt so righteous in beating it into pavement, but... the exotic scent... 

you feel the intoxicating drink as if just under your nose as you give it a small lick
>Its..
>Suddenly the world shifts, and the stuffed monkey lays you down on the cold ice ridge on your 

side
>Its...so cold... You try to rise but you are still sluggishly slow.. The giant toy looks down 

on you with its stuffed face, and seems to start turning away, leaving you there
>Monkey... Monkey no!...

>You are Honey Trap, agent on his free time and...
>What the fuck is going on?
>*Soft bump is heard above you as your ad-hoc ceiling creaks
>*A small...desperate whinny comes just from that place...pleading...innocent...
>And you know for certain that there is no pony in the room that could make that sound... 

Its...its only the Pinstripe there...
>*Another whimper, coming as if from just a tiny foal...
>what the fuck is going on?
>The weight on the table above you disappears with a small creak
>*a small, relieved high pitched sigh reaches your ears...followed by a deep voiced sigh of 

resignation...
>You... have no single clue what is happening above you... one moment the perps were most 

certainly speaking in some secret code about a drop...and the next....
>Are...are you a witness to some sort of....wet-work?
>Oh...
*low voiced grumbling*
*tripping sound just where the weight was once before*
>Oh...oh god....
>D-did somepony carry a hit on...on the Pinstripe?
>You whimper a bit to yourself at imagining that, retreating under the sink a bit more
>W-what have you gotten yourself into?..
>N-no...its...its... You need to be sure... you need to peak over the edge...
>As quietly as you can, you push open the small cupboard hiding you, wincing a bit as you step 

on the squeaky chairs and slowly crawl out from under the sink
>You gently place your hooves on the wooden floor...and visibly wince when they release four 

audible creaks as they bend under your weight...
>The...deep grumbling stops from the back of the bar...
>You...what do you do?

>You are A. Non, the anon of canterlot
>And...
>God damn it...
>You see a bit more comfy chair in a small backroom of the bar.. With a resigned sigh you pick 

up the shivering small mare again, and rise from your seat, heading toward it
>You are... too damn drunk and tired already... You wanted a hotel room two damn hours ago... 

your throat is dry... You have a nasty feeling that one of your shoe laces is untied and... 

you are currently carrying an unconcious tiny pony
>A cute pony... Shy at that, but...
>You notice her bury her muzzle under your arm, as she curls up as much as she can in your lap
>...
>Sigh...
>You carry her to the comfy, soft couch on the bar's back corner
>Its.. comfy, you can feel as you lay her down there. Enough to get her through the night
>And, as you try to drop her off your lap, she just gives a small shiver, and gives that... 

cute little little whinny again...
>...
>Hell with it... its your first night here... might as well go along with it this time...
>With another sigh you stop trying to roll her off your lap, and just sit down on the couch 

yourself, the mare snuggled on your lap
>You look down and... you swear you see her smiling that same cheeky smile on your lap while 

at the same time looking like the most adorable little ball of cute there...
>Well.. you make your backrest more comfortable... its not the worst way to spend a nig..
*Creak*...*crea-crea-creak*
>Your eyes turn at the bar, curiously
>A moment later, you notice a head peek out from behind the bar... it seems to look around the 

place, but the moment it spots you looking straight at it, it eep's and drops down behind the 

bar again
>And...stays there for 15 minutes...
>Creaks start to sound again behind the bar, heading toward one of the far ends of the bar...
>Oh...god damn, why must that whatever cause such a ruckus?

>You are agent Honey Trap, and panic is slowly setting into your mind....
>You just poked your head out from over the bar, and...while you did not notice it at first as 

you scanned the room... Down at one corner of the bar, the... The Bordello Mister... the Human 

that... 'took care' of the Pinstripe...
>Was looking straight at you... and seems he had been for a long long time...
>Ducking quickly back behind the bar you push your hoof into your mouth to muffle a frightened 

scream as your other hoof holds your heart threathening to explode from your chest...
>Play...play it cool.... Wait for a bit.... Wait and...maybe...maybe he didnt notice you?
>You bite down on a whimper as this reminds you just that scene on the recent horror 

movie...about nubile teenage stallions going...tenting and...then the d-d-....
>You shake your head.... No... Thats...thats just movies... You are an agent of Luna! 
>A...social agent, a quiet part of your mind reminds you... With all your skills in just 

observing and talking to people...
>And... Who might have just been compromised a bit ago by a no-good codpiece-ornament
>You gulp, and shake your head... Just...play it cool...if you get cough, pretend you are 

drunk! 

PretendYouAreDrunkAndItWillAllGetBetter....pretendyou'redrunkpretendpretendohLunaletsjustprete

nd!
"*Cough*" 
>Huh? wait...Maybe...maybe its safe now to peek?... But just to be sure, you move a bit away 

from your previous peeking spot... You crouch down and as quietly as you can, you move toward 

the back, farthest end of the bar from the seat you observed the... marehunter....
>You wince as once again every time your hooves step on a plank it creaks under your 

hooves.... The total silence in the bar, where the only thing you can hear is just your heart 

beating a mile-a-minute...

>You reach the back of the bar, as total silence decends upon the bar.
>Meekly you coil into a seated position, your shivering hooves reaching over the bar counter, 

as you prepare to take just a...lightning quick glance at the contract killer lounging across 

the bar where you last glanced at him
>You give a few reashuring deep breaths, whisper to yourself a bit despite yourself, and rise 

your head over the counter...
>And...rights across from you, a row of sharp...white teeth smile to you... With beady, evil 

little eyes filled with nothing but malice boring into your soul...
>You shiver in shock, your mouth hanging open and meekly trying to say...cry...do 

anything...anything...
>And...the beast rises one of its digits, and puts it straight across its razor sharp teeth...

>You are Anon, the fellow almost ready to call it a night
>Just as you were getting yourself comfortable as much as you could with a small passed out 

mare squirming in your lap that seems to shiver meekly every time you try to let go, you 

notice two things of note just a moment before you could shut your eyes...
>One, some pony who is making quite a loud racket behind the bar looked shiftily around the 

bar as if looking for something, before noticing you looking and hastily returning under the 

bar...
>And...second, you have left your briefcase where you were previously drinking... All the 

other side of the bar, unsupervised...
>Riight... You might be drunk, but you are neither stupid nor rich enough to leave it out on 

its own as you start your nap... 
>And just as you were thinking that, you start hearing creaks coming from behind the bar, 

moving seemingly slowly to the back side of the bar
>Huh... Must be the janitor or something... Maybe the cleaning crew is not allowed to bother 

anyone while clients are still here?... maybe not, but you have known establishments with even 

weirder rules for their employees, so... Who are you to judge
>Still, you have stuff that should not be "found" by some long-fingered cleaning staff, so, 

with a heavy sigh you try to pull the small mare off your your arms.
>The moment you rise her a bit, the chilling sting of cold air blows between your both 

formerly warmed chests, causing her to visibly shiver and whimper in her sleep... she reaches 

in her dream-state that to you by now seems way too intentionally around your arm with her 

hooves, holding on to her life...
>Well...maybe if you...

>You reach behind her head with your free hand, slowly running your hooves through her silky 

hair and just gently scratch under her ear a few times, eliciting a tiny, sleepy purr from her 

as she visibly calms and relaxes, letting your arm go
>You have no better idea on what to do... On instinct, you softly whisper to her ear that you 

will be right back, and fit her snugly into your formerly warm seat on the couch
>She curls up quietly on the seat, hugging her tail as a tiny, pleading look graces her 

sleeping face, but at least she is not holding you hostage
>Well..this will do for now. you need to get your stuff, then you can play a pillow for 

strangers all you like
>Turning toward the bar, you walk toward with all the grace of the tired and drunk, only blind 

luck preventing you from stumbling on the haphazardly laid tables around
>You reach your former seat and pick up the suitcase in one hand, as you hear the cleaner 

muttering and squeaking get a lot louder...way louder than necessary...
"*Cough*"
>Heh...well that broke out the pointless self blabber the cleaner was doing for a while. Seems 

he is quiet again
>And as you turn around the muttering starts up again... God damn it...he might wake her up 

that way
>You make your way toward the far back of the bar, and as you reach it, you notice two hooves 

being placed on the top of the bar as the janitor seems to be busy looking at the ground
>Well, no point in being rude. You walk just opposite to where his hooves are, and put on a 

friendly smile
>And as...huh, its a he, you guess... You smile and put a finger before your lips to convey an 

universal message o-
*Thump*
>Well...
>You didn't mean that silent...

>You are miss Bella Belle Grim
>And... you feel alone again... only a small, slightly lingering scent is what remains of 

the... thing that should have held you...
>You squirm, your soft sleeping object vanishing under you as only lingering and quickly 

fleeting warmth of the cloth under your side reminding you that you were not always on your 

own
>You try to look around you, but all you see is just....blackness... nothing, no shape or form 

visible but your own little body...
>Looking down at your hooves and body you see...flowing red cloth, with complex, regal 

patterns criss-crossing itself all along... You notice long, silky gloves covering your front 

hooves, trailing all the way nearly up to where the dress begins, revealing only a teasing 

flicker of your fore-legs
Curiously continuing trailing your form with your eye, the complex pattern continues down your 

chest, with a form-hugging dress descending all along your curves up to your flanks.. And from 

there, a frilly, long skirt decending all the way to your stocking covered hooves
>You give a furious blush suddenly...this...this is....so...stallionly... You would die of 

shame if anypony would see you in so...so....
>Suddenly you hear heavy steps from somewhere in the darkness coming toward you... You squeak 

in fright, trying to curl up and hide your body with your hooves... No, you cant be seen like 

this! Its....Its not how a mare should dress!
>And from the distance, you see...

>Its...its the giant toy again, b-but..
>its...its holding somepony else in its stuffed paws. You cant make out...what its carrying, 

but...
>You... You sniffle a bit as you see it walk past you, familiar feelings creeping up from the 

back of your mind about...
>Until... The stuffed head turns toward you... and looking at you and at whatever its 

carrying, it...it tosses the thing unceremoniously right next to you, while gently bending 

toward you, its gigantic arms reaching toward your ashamed form
>You blush heavily as feelings of taboo soar up at someone seeing you like this, fearing 

ridicule, sneering or even outraged shouts to come from it, but...
>The monkey just picks you up, and places you in its lap again as it falls on its back, with 

you safely snuggled on its gigantic, soft chest
>You give a surprised, blushing look at the monkey's stuffed face, but... it just smiles at 

you without any contempt...no lies...monkey just likes your dress without any scent of deceit 

or lies on its face
>You sniffle again a bit, n-not expecting it to...to not ridicule you...
>And to that, you feel the monkey's giant paw softly pet your mane as you give a more relieved 

sigh than you ever had...dressed in your deepest guilty secret

>You are Anon of Canterlot, yawning as first sounds of a busy workday morning wake you from 

your sleep.
>Wincing a bit as the shining sun, reflecting off a random glass shard near the door manages 

to reflect a disgustingly cheerful beam of sunlight straight to your eye...You instinctively 

grumble and pull your hand quickly before your eyes, it only to cause a quick wince of pain in 

your head to suddenly make clear that your body did not forgive your last nights over-

extrertion and inebriation so easly... 
>And finally, closing your mouth a bit the taste of purest decay and death can be felt in your 

throat...
>The last taste was what motivated you most to try and rise, trying to shift off your blanket 

as you try to rise
>Only to hear a small, sleepy mumble coming just above your chest..
>That got your eyes suddenly open....And staring down you see a sleeping, suited mare curled 

up in your lap, without seemingly a care in the world...
>You also discover that you slept with a suit yourself, that by now is properly, thoroughly 

wrinkled and dirty...
>And...A small, light-blue pony slouched next to you on the couch, snoring a bit
>And that last piece of insanity is what boosted your brain to push through the usual morning 

hangover haze, and recollect fully what happened last night..
>...
>Yeah... You don't remember shit...
>Well... 

>a spike of fear passes through your chest suddenly at thinking where your suitcase might be, 

but as your hand hangs over the edge the familiar, metallic cover of it brushes against your 

fingers, making you breathe out a relieved sigh..
>Well...first things first... your mouth is both dry and/or rotting by the taste of it, so, no 

more slouching about..
>You as gently as you could, slither out from under the suited mare, who you as gently as you 

can, place right back where you formerly lay
>Tho...seeming that the moment you placed her down, she gave a little whinny and started 

blindly waving her hoof around
>The sight makes you give a small laugh...followed instantly by a wince of pain as your brain 

makes quite clear to you on its stance on funny shit so soon after pissing it off so much..
>nursing your temples with your free hand, you rise and dust off any wrinkles from your suit, 

as you notice the suited mare suddenly find something with her hoof-searching...
>She puts one of her hooves on the sleeping...stallion you guess from the jawline... And pulls 

him quite roughly into a snuggle, as his eyes suddenly dart open
>You would honestly laugh at that, but you need to be quiet, both for their, and for your own 

headache's sake. 
>So you just crouch right next to the suddenly wide-eyed stallion as he is held quite firmly 

in the mares snuggle...damn, some stallions just have the nicest mornings..
>You just smile, and place your finger on your lips again, and point at his back at the 

Coo'ing mare spooning him, motioning not to be too rough on her with getting up
>The stallion's eyes narrow to pinpricks as he freezes up, and you cant help but laugh at the 

socially awkward fellow. Heh, shy guys. 
>You shake your head and start walking away, stepping lazily over the shattered glass covering 

the floor as you push open the bar's door, breathing in the fresh...ish air of Canterlot, and 

going to look for some breakfast

>You are Anon, happily enjoying some fried eggs and hay at what the locals call "The gryphon 

place", in Canterlot
>You were led this way by a nice little gryphon....chick is the word for them?... or cup?... 

Well, no matter. Tiny gryphon was happy to point you toward its "Aunty's" place before 

resuming doing...whatever it is tiny gryphons do early in the morning... Collect morning dew 

or something?
>No matter. The dinery on itself was quite homely. soft, light wooden tables, and nearly empty 

save for two gryphon cook's chirping away in the kitchen. Seems you missed the morning rush, 

but still managed to get a surprisingly wholesome breakfast. Your hangover head, placated a 

bit by the offerings, even allows you to now smile without jamming an imaginary nail though 

your brain.
>Now... you need a room, need a room, need a room.... Oh! this morning's newspapers hanging 

for reading here. Could check that out for places to rent.
>Now, lets see lets see.... buying jewelry, not needed... Selling local sky-grown flubber-

berries... you have no clue on what that is.... Cheap, loyal stallion husbands from 

Stalliongrad....yeah, that must be a joke.... Oh! Apartments, here we go.
>Selection is actually quite varied and large... Well, guess you have your work cut out for 

today
>Finishing up most of your meal, you pay your bill, and thanks to a generous tip, the cook's 

graciously allows you to take the newspaper with you.
>And just outside, a mare pulling a small taxi carriage is resting in the shade.
>You approach her with a wide smile, a thing that stops her from picking her nose the moment 

she notices you, and making her blush and cough.

>You are miss Grim of Canterlot, in a surprisingly up-beat mood
>Sure, you... heh, its kind of silly in hindsight, but you got properly tricked by rough jaw-

line and long legs again
>Still, when you woke up this morning, you had junior detective Honey Trap in your hooves, 

being quite...compliant even~
>And as you remember Honey quite well from a few interrogations he and his partner did back 

when they still thought you as just another lowly crook, well...
>Lets just say you both will remember the time spent together a lot more fondly
*whimper*
>Still. So the human used his masculine charms on you and got the better of you? Well, win 

some, lose some. That just a lesson to remember and take home. Besides, as sister Tongue Lash 

always said, Colts aint nuffin but a bag o' tricks and dicks.
*muffled gasp*
>And... Still...small memories of last night come and go. Like... the...dreams... 
*Mmmhmmm!~*
>You shiver, feeling a small tingle of want as you remember being held... even if it was just 

in a dream....
>You... just need somepony to... to hold you...not for you to hold down...
>in a moment of...softness, you lay down, looking up to those big, golden eyes with your own, 

a...desperate, pleading look on yours...
>You just lay on top, waiting...just for him to put his hooves around you...hold you and... 

Tell you you are....
*MMMHMMMHMHMHMHMHMMM!*
>You blink a bit, shaking your head out of the strange daze you were in, before remembering 

what you were actually doing
>Well... No matter... 
>still... the tiny want remains

>You are Anon, currently traveling to the fourth possible rent place on a taxy carriage, as 

you cross out another ad from the paper
>Looking out the side of the carriage, you see the sun reaching its zenith a while ago, and 

starting its ever-calm decent behind the horizont
>Its not an unpleasant ride. Your driver is gracious enough to wait for you during every tour 

you make, saving you another headache of finding a new driver every time.
>Passing another semi-busy boulevard, you glance on the sidewalk a... familiar cute little 

fedora, heading toward the same direction as you
>Well, another lovely chance to meet a friendly face, the least you could do to the nice mare 

is offer her a ride, seeing as you both head to the same direction anyway
>Calling of your plan to the driver, she simply nods and pulls alongside the suited mare, her 

single eye widening in surprise as she notices you open the door for her

>You are madam Smooth Step, a carriage driver both by trade and by nature
>And today seems to be a surprisingly profitable day to be in business
>Sure, you had to lug around a strange foreigner to places he read off seemingly randomly, 

since your route has been so far quite back and forth, but you cant really complain to him for 

making a bigger bill for himself. 
>Still, seems like male lack of ability to navigate the roads is showing up again, as you pass 

right back to the same district you have been twice before to stop before another apartment 

building.
"Driver. Please stop here for a moment"
>huh? Well, this is not exactly the kind of place where you thought a frail thing like he 

would stop at, as you pull the carriage right aside the grimy street
>And looking at the tiny rear-view window, you tense up the moment you notice that notorious 

tint of purple look toward your livelihood with a surprised look
>And only years of stoic calm installed in every driver that has dealt with Canterlot traffic 

for years you suppress a gasp as your carriage's door opens from the inside for the horror

>You are miss Bella Belle Grimm, aaand...
>Yeah...this has to be a trap
>You look at the most suspiciously open and harmless carriage, pulled by a mare reaching 

retirement age soon. And on it, opening a door open to you with a smile you would mistake for 

innocent is him
>You look quickly behind you and on the roofs for any sign of of the buzzkill crew readying 

their shackles as you innoculously stretch your limbs a bit in case you need to hoof it the 

tartarus out of there
"Lovely Bella.."
>And with that single call, your head snaps right back before the trap to be. Pulling you out 

of the fatalistic determination of before, last nights quaint little chats and memories... the 

good ones, just come to your mind uncalled, and despite yourself you cant push down a small 

happy smile tugging your lips upward
"Need a ride? Save yourself a bit of leg... Hoof-work"
>And despite yourself you knowing for certain that ...that Sun damned reynard so sneakily got 

the better of you...
>You take a slightly hesitant step toward the carriage.. Well... its open, and... you dont see 

any....reeeeaaaly obvious hints that this is a stick-up
>And as you near the in your hesitant movements, you stop just before the raised carriage 

door, looking down and breathing just enough as the feeling you are walking into a trap come 

rushing right back. 
>Get a grip, Bella! This is obviously a trap! And he! He is probably an ag-
"Ah, where are my manners. "
>You bring your head up in surprise, only to see his lithe hand stretched out to you, and him 

reaching down to your level to ...

>You are the Anon of Canterlot, a cheerfully optimistic human now that you see the familiar 

mare happy and well
>Honestly you had a small stab of guilt at leaving her sleeping in the inn, but as much as you 

can recall from that hazy night, it was a very friendly place. Loads of mares, and a few 

stallions
>Now that you think about it, you might have accidentaly stepped into a gay bar in hindsight. 

So many mares, and only a few stallions of who'm most seemed disinterested in talking to 

them..
>Well... Still, it was a nice night. Even if that...say, what ever happened to that stallion 

who..
>..
>Oh... seemed your mind wandered a bit, and now the little suited mare stands before the 

carriage door, a little shy by the look of it.
>Well... Another dashing oportunity to display a bit of chivalry
"Ah, where are my manners"
>You offer your hand to her... and have to crouch a little as well to reach it to her height 

as you notice her look at it in a look of skitterish surprise
>and just as you near your hand, she rises one of her left forehoof in the air, that you 

happily take hold to help her into the carriage
>Oh, she is soft. Her hoof tensed up just as you took it, but as you gave a gentle tug toward 

the carriage it softened up. 
> And as she accepts your small civil gesture with a small glint of bewilderment in her eye as 

she looks up to you with her lovely uncovered eye
>Guess she is a bit unused to a bit common courtesy
>More the reason to show her how a man should act