>BE DARING
>But better. Be FLASHBACK DARING
>In high school. There's this colt you really really really really like
>Like, really
>your cousin suggests you go for it
>OK!
>Colts like sappy things, and from the novels you read, you gotta go all out
>never fails
>You decide on the private confession route
>You hoof-write a note
>loopy pink letters - any stallion would dig it
>You pull him aside and confess
>Celestia, you poured out everything. That you liked him, what he did, that you wanted to be with him from now on
>You could see yourself with him forever
>He laughed at you
>he
>laughed
>He said you were just a friend - a great friend
>He "didn't know" you liked him
>Bullshit. He knew - how could he NOT have known?!
>HE just...he just shook his head and left you
>And that's when you decied 
>never again. Fuck that.
>You lost the weight - all of it. No more "flight fat" for you
>don't even care that it's colder up around the clouds
>you got into everything - started to learn to break into rooms, how to steal things
>You would've probably been a criminal if it wasn't for your friends... but that's another story.
>You become a bad girl
>unf. All the stallions wanted to "fix" you, to "tame" you
>a bit of that pegasus pride was showing. You weren't a mare anymore, you were a challenge

>Your old stallion comes up to you
>'oh wow, I had no idea you were like this', 'hey, want to hang out sometime'
>Blah fucking blah
>but no, you were gonna make him work for it
>And you do. You hang out with him and you humiliate him in public a few times
>Nothing drastic, but enough so he understands his place
>under you
>After a few weeks you finally take him
>You were each other's firsts
>18 seconds
>Not bad for a first timer, you'll come to find out
>But... it was hollow
>Sure, he moaned your name
>he held you as your breathing came back to normal
>You felt his warmpth inside you
>but
>he didn't love you
>...and you didn't love him, either.
*****
>Rainbow Dash is sitting right next to you, her eyes focused hard on your face
>She's never... her heroes are real ponies, and she's never had anypony open up like that to her
"...and I ended up ditching him once I got out of Cloudsdale. I didn't even tell him, I just let him find out I had moved."
>You look up and meet her gaze, unflinching
"Never compromise who you are for any male, ever. I did that... and I keep doing it, because I think it works."
>You sigh. Fuck.
>You feel a gentle nuzzle on your neck, and you lean into it.
"Just don't do what I did. You don't deserve it - and neither does Anon."

>The two of you sit in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company
>Eventually Dash laughs
>"Well, that got really heavy... sorry about that."
"No, no. It's alright. It's good to have some real talk sometimes."
>"Yeah, but, yanno. Don't want to get too stalliony about it" Dash sticks her tongue out at you
>You respond in kind
>the most mature pegasai
"Hey, you go on ahead, alright? I'm just gonna..."
>"Yeah, no problem. I'll get the liquor ready."
>You and dash share a chuckle and she rockets off
>You sigh.
>Damnit. You're getting attached, and this is something you swore you'd never do
>Not after what happened to short-round
>poor bastard. Though, he did help you with that zebrican ruse...
>Anyway. 
>You decide now's a good time to take flight and clear your mind
>Stretching out your legs and wings, you take off
>A mostly-clear sky, full moon... it's beautiful
>Your mind drifts back to Anon
>You're really... I mean, you are REALLY into this colt. Just like that soarin kid back in the day
>Whatever happened to him? You should look him up sometime
>But...why? 
>You circle lazily around town, thinking about your choices - past, present... possible futures.
>You land next to the fountain at town square, your stomach suddenly filled with butterflies
"Ugh...buck, why is this so hard!?"
>"Why is what so hard, sweetie?"
>You know that voice
>YOU KNOW THAT VOICE LUNA DAMN IT
>"Aww, Daring, you know I'm here for you love! Now come and tell your colt what's wrong."


>Sweet. Fucking. Bean.
>On one hoof, you're impressed. For a colt that has a coffee company
>well, -inheriting- a coffee company
>he never usually stays up late
>So being up at almost 2AM is just... incredible.
>on the other hoof
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
>You round on the stallion, who just seems to brush you off
>"Now now, Daring! I'm not scared of some alien monster! And with you here to protect me~" He tries to nuzzle into you, but you shy away
>"~I'm not concerned about anything at all. Now come on, I've got a room at a lovely bed and breakfast down near an apple orchard-"
>Oh FUCK
>"-which was surprisingly hard to find from the train station. Luckily, this really pale minotaur helped me find my way-"
>OH FUCK OH FUCK
>"-he was really sweet! Not like those other city-stallions, they'll stab you in the back. Anyway, so he and I got to talking, and it turns out we both know you! Turns out he's working on that everfree monster thing too-"
>OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK
>You start stressing out hard, shifting from one hoof to the other
>"-and so that was that, mostly! Now come *on*, Daring! I put my saddlebags up, and I'm getting cold!" He finishes on a whine
>THIS FUCKING DICKHEAD UNICORN JUST RUINED YOUR CHANCES WITH ANON AND HE HAS THE GALL TO WINE AT YOU
>You grind your teeth
>"D-daring? Sweetie, you're scaring me." He starts to walk back just a little, concern painted on his pretty little face
>That same pretty little face you've been lying to for the better part of a year
>And just like that, all your anger is gone
>What are we gonna replace that with, brain?
>I dunno heart, how about guilt and shame?
>SOUNDS GOOD
>Fuck.
>You let out a very long exhale
"Sorry...Sweet Bean. I've just been very busy, and keeping track of the, ah... monster has been hard."
>He recovers quickly, smiling at you
>"Well if anypony can do it, it's you."

>You don't believe you've ever worn a smile as fake as you do now
"Thanks."
>He moves in for the nuzzle again. 
>You don't turn away
>he must've... bought the ticket, tracked you down...how long has he been waiting?
>how long have the others? Minus that Canterlot Colt Cockhead....
>Trottingham? And one in Vanhoofer, and you were seducing that apple-colt in Appleoosa
>You like stallions that are around food, shutup
"Sweet Bean..."
>"Yes?"
>He smiles at you, and it's genuine
>Luna damn you to ever-waking nightmares, you are a monster
>But you have to end this
>...but not here. Not in the middle of town, what's wrong with you.
"Let's go to that B&B. We have some things to catch up on."
>He grins and seductively rubs against your barrel
>"Yes we do, we have a -lot- of things to catch up on..."
>You poor colt, you don't even know.
* * *
>You rest your body on the bed
>Dash'll... she'll figure it out. Not like she'd go out looking for you
>That would be crazy
>Sudden paranoia grips you, and you check all the windows - seeing what's looking in at you
>Sweet Bean chuckles
>"Daring, dear, come to bed. I've missed you so much." He pats the spot right next to him
>You sigh
>You just can't. I mean... you could force yourself, but you've never been into forcing yourself on males
>that just ain't right
"Sweet Bean, remember how we had some things to catch up on...?"
>He smiles at you, sitting up 
>"Yeah!"
>Fuck please don't be so happy... that makes this so much harder.

>You two talk for a bit
>Why you're late
>why you're... never there
>You tell him about Anon
>His smile starts to disappear
>near the end...near the end you're in tears
>why are you crying?
>why...
>You're just like the colt - just like soarin
>mares were his to abuse and use
>stallions are yours to use and abuse
>Sweet Bean is trying to rationalize it
>He's trying to
>fuck
>You have to... you just want this stallion to leave
>no
>you just want to be in Anon's bed
>You want to be talking to him, not... not this pone
>Sweet Bean is crying
>Yelling something
>Shit you're not supposed to get this emotional - that's for colts like...like him
>You fall silent as he yells at you
>You tell him that it's over
>He doesn't buy it
>No self-respecting pony would date a monster, he says
>You get angry
>Things are said that can't be unsaid
>he locks himself in the bathroom and cries
>That'll do, pig, that'll do.
>You take flight again as dawn breaks
>Fuck. Might as well just... just fuck.
>You find yourself back at the fountain in town square
>Staring at your reflection as the morning mist clears
>Staring at yourself, at your choices as the sun peeks over the horizon
>Why can't you stop crying?
>A pink hoof wraps around your neck, a cotton-candy scent invades your muzzle as you're pulled into a hug
>You cry 

>Well.
>Brain, can you get control back yet?
>mmm. Well heart's had her turn, so I gueeesss~
>Come on brain there's coffee and a honey bun here
>Oooh! Well then, don't mind if I do~
"Thanks, Pinkie."
>Be Daring
>in a booth in Sugarcube Corner, a few minutes before it opens officially
>You sip on your coffee - you're gonna need it after pulling an accidental all-nighter, and much on the free breakfast treat
>"No problem. I don't like seeing ponies so sad, and you really looked like you could use a friend."
"So we're friends now?"
>Pinkie laughs. "No, silly billy, we've always been friends! It just took you a while to realize it."
>You... you're ok with this.
"Well. Thanks. I don't like being such a colt about things, but-"
>"But sometimes you need to let your feels out, right?"
"-...yeah."
>Pinkie smiles, and turns to walk away. "I gotta prepare for the morning rush, but we can talk about it, yeah?"
"Y-yeah. And Pinkie, plea-"
>"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. I won't tell nopony." Pinkie says, finishing the ritual
>That's something you never saw before, but she seems serious. You won't press the matter
>The morning rush lines up outside SCC, and with a flip of a sign and the unlocking of a door they pour in, a living tide
>The tide ebbs and flows a couple times, and by 10AM things have calmed down
>Pinkie joins you again at the table
>"So I take it that your talk with Sweet Bean didn't go to well?"
>You almost spit out your 5th cup of coffee
"Ho-How did YOU know?!"
>She smiles. "It's my business as the premier pink party pone to know EVERYPONY that comes to ponyville!"
>She leans over the table, getting somewhat uncomfortably close to you. "EVERY. PONY."
>Whelp. She's crazy, and on your side
>Thank Celestia for small favors.