subtitle: "How do I sports"


>"Yes! Buck yes! That's how it's done, filly!"
>Rainbow Dash launches out of her seat beside you and rears up excitedly, enthusiastically kicking her forehooves.
>She plops back down onto the bench and hoofs you on the shoulder, grinning at you ear-to-ear.
>"You following along, babe? Did you see that?"
>What you saw was a hoof-fight breaking out in the corner.
>A goal was scored at the same time, so you really aren't sure which event Rainbow is cheering on.
>Honestly? Knowing her, it could be either one.
>You reach out and ruffle Rainbow's mane, making her laugh and swat at your hands.
"What? The goal or the fight?"
>"Babe, stop!" laughs Rainbow Dash, putting up a token effort to shove your hands away.
>She acts like she hates it when she's around her friends, but she can't get enough of your hands when the two of you are all alone.
>In this case, it's because of that group of mares in the seats behind you that make WAY too much noise whenever you touch your marefriend.
>Rainbow finally "frees" herself from your merciless wrigglers and points at the scoreboard, way up in the sky.
>"The Cloudsdale Cloud-Dalers are absolutely DOMINATING the Cloudsdale Dale-Dome! Those toolbags from Bellerophon don't stand a chance!"
>Rainbow Dash starts doing some air-boxing, and you quickly back away when one hoof nearly hits you.
>"Those 'Lero-losers already got penalties against them, so all we need to win is - woah!"
>Rainbow Dash overbalances with her air-boxing and she starts to fall backwards off of her bench.
>Instinctively, you reach behind her and catch her on her back.
>You accidentally get a handful of that big back-muscle in between her wing joints.
>Like clockwork, the mares on the seats behind you whistle and cheer you on, all while Rainbow Dash flails like an upset toddler in her quest to get you to stop molesting her.

>After a few embarrassing seconds (for her, anyway), your marefriend re-sits herself back onto the bench.
>"Anon, no!"
>Her face is bright red and she pointedly refuses to look at the laughing row behind her.
>"Not in public!" she hisses, scooting a couple of hoof-lengths away from you.
>Whoops.
>Normally you would have dismissed this as one of those "horse things" that get you in trouble sometimes, but you know for a fact that a pegasi's flight muscles (on the back or on the wings) are considered intimate.
>Like, REALLY intimate.
>You've made that mistake only once before, and it was actually how you landed Rainbow Dash as your significant other.
>You've also made a similar mistake with Rarity when you observed out loud that her horn-spiral was counter-clockwise (as opposed to Twilight's clockwise spiral).
>Only you didn't almost get a marefriend out of Rarity; instead, she cried and banned you from her boutique for a month.
>You're broken from your thoughts by Rainbow poking you in the shoulder.
>She's holding her cider mug upside down and looking at you expectantly.
>"Could you get me another cider, babe?"
>You shrug and stand up, groaning as your back pops.
"Yeah, sure. I need to stretch my legs anyway."
>Rainbow shoves a few coins into your hand and you walk off in search of the stallion selling over-priced drinks.
>"And nachos!" shouts Rainbow, cupping her hooves to her mouth.
>You raise a hand in her direction; you heard her.
>Now where did that weird stallion with the Cloudsdale Cloud-Dalers brand testicle-bra go?