>Back to Anon
>You’d spent longer with Shear than you’d thought because it had gotten pretty dark outside
>The sun had set but there was still some light on the horizon
>But it’s still basically a full moon, so you’ll have plenty of light tonight
>There were barely any ponies about, most had already moved back to their own rooms for the night, leaving the corridors and facility grounds empty
>The phosphorescent blue glow of the floors had even started up
>Unsure of how long you’d actually been you take the long route to the waterfall
>The one that passes by the library
>This way you can check both locations faster
>You totter your way along the dirt path 
>Ahead you spy a few guards rounding up stray ponies
>A mare and a stallion
>Once you reach them the mare speaks to you
“Are you alright inmate? Do you need help getting back to your room? We know being outside in the dark can be scary but we’re here to help you”
>Haha, these guys were too much 
>”Not afraid of the dark, I’ll be fine. In fact I’m going to be out here with a friend for a while”
“That can’t be safe, there could be big scary monsters out who’ll gobble you up! ...but we technically can’t stop you…”
>At a confused loss as to what to do the guard turns to her partner
“What can we do? I don't want to leave a prisoner out in the dark”
>She leans in to whisper into the stallion’s ear
>While her voice is much quieter it's definitely not a whisper
>You weren't sure if ponies even could whisper
“What if a big scary monster does get him?”
>The little stallion pales and returns with a whisper of equal loudness
“I thought you were joking about the monsters!”
>The mare continues their odd exchange
“Of course I wasn't joking! The girls and I were talking about it at dinner”
“First Star badge spends the day going on about huge scary creatures then disappears before his shift ends”
“The Warden was really agitated at lunch for some reason, and I heard there have been some brainiac science ponies here to study beasts and magical phenomenon”
>The mare takes a quick breather
“And to top it all off apparently we have a night guard now, one of Luna’s /personal/ guard!”
>She's clearly talking about Silver but she'd been working here for a while now, probably longer than this pony
>How was it that not even all the guards knew who Silver was?
>The stallion once again returns the “Whisper”
“WHAT! I so regret getting my shift changed so we could be together!”
>The mare smiles
“Aww I knew you liked me!”
>She nuzzles against the stallion who blushes fiercely 
>Okay this is getting old and you have places to be
>”Look guys can we finish up here, I gotta get going”
>The mare looks imploringly at the stallion 
>He puts a hoof to his chest
“What do you want me to do? I can't force the inmate inside”
>He leans in to whisper again, this time far more quietly 
>Yet still loud enough to remain audible
“Besides have you seen this prisoner, the scariest thing out here is him! And he eats meat! I feel sorry for the monster that thinks it can gobble that up!”
>The mare looks back at you
>Then cranes her neck all the way up, gauging your size
>Her eyes widen
“Oh my... Okay then have a great night inmate! You’re a braver pony than I”
>The two guards scamper off
>You keep along your walk
>As you approach the library Blaze exits from the large wooden doors
>”Damn, I have great timing today”
“Actually I saw you coming dude. I’ve set us up with some snacks later from the Nut Cafe, free of charge. For some reason they don’t like dragon grins. You all set?”
>Dang he the real MVP with that snack game
>”Yeah boi! let’s get it on!”
“That’s what I like to here man”
>The two of you make your way to the waterfall/beach area
>Once there you both make seats out of two destroyed sandcastles
>Without your shirt it’s a pretty chill night, but you can man mode it
>The only thing betraying your bodies discomfort are your fully erect nipples
“So man, how are we going to do this?”
>”Well, just show me what you’ve got so I can see what we’re working with here”
“Can do”
>Blaze inhales deeply, his chest swelling with air
>He exhales from his nose, or snout?
>Your vision becomes obscured as a thick fog of smoke engulfs not only you but all of the surrounding area
>We get it, you vape 
>It takes several seconds for it to clear up enough for you to properly make out Blaze through the haze
>In that time you’d taken many deep breaths and already you could feel that familiar happy sensation fuzz through your brain
>”Alright, we’re working with the toppest of shit right here. Do that a couple more times then we’ll work our way from there over the night”
“That’s what I love to hear man”
>You spend the next minute in a perpetual cloud of dragon smoke
>Sweet, sweet dragon smoke
>By the time you and Blaze once again sit on a completely smokeless beach you’ve both come down with a pretty heavy case of squint eyes
>You have also adopted what you call your ‘happy’ face
>That permanent grin that forms a mask over your face whenever you’re high 
>Blaze is running his claws through the sand and is piling up a small castle in front of him
“Hehehe”
>”hehehe, what’s so funny man?”
“You look like a dragon I use to know. Seath, had no scales, crazy looking guy”
>Blaze waves his arms about for emphasis but the act just has you chortling
>Wait a sec did he say seath?
>No, you’re just high, that’s all
>You look up to the night’s sky
>Many unfamiliar constellations shine down at you
>The moonlight rainbow is out
>And in the sky floats one small puffy cloud
>You could get use to these
>A e s t h e t i c s
>”This place is so fucking amazing Blaze”
>...
>When there is no response forthcoming you look back down
>He’s gone
>How fucking long had you been looking up for?
“Hey man come join me in the water, it’s warm”
>Blaze beckons you from the water
>How’d he get there?
>”Good, because I’m almost freezing my nips off without my shirt”
>You get up and stumble to the small lapping waves
>”Wait man… I don’t want to get my pants wet”
>A wet pant is no fun
“Dude just go birthday suit mode, you don’t see me, or anyone else in pants”
>That makes sense
>You strip off what little remains of your prison suit
>Now no pant will get wet!
>You get in the lake and immediately regret your decision 
>Your decision to not have been in this lake all day!
>So fukin’ good matey!
>You float over to Blaze who has let out another small blast of smoke
>You both breathe deeply
>You prob’s gunna be a little too high to be sober with Silver
>But hey if you wanted to be sober you wouldn’t be smoking
>Plus you were versed enough in the ways of the stoner that you could still operate while high
>Blaze floats happily along the water’s surface 
>”I just realised I took my pants off and you didn’t freak out”
>Blaze ducks under the water for a moment then pops back up
“Ain’t nothing any guy hasn’t seen before dude”
>”You know of everyone I’ve met here, you are by far the sanest”
“You compliment people weirdly Anon”
>”At least it’s a compliment”
>You dive under the water and feel about the bottom of the lake
>It’s not very deep where you are and the bottom seems to be composed of sand and smooth rocks
>It’s warmer the deeper you go
>Emerging you gasp for air
>”So Blaze why is this lake warm anyway?”
“Dude, it’s not even a true lake. It’s a natural hot springs”
>”Then what’s up with the waterfall?”
>That sparkling, stupidly beautiful, waterfall
>You want to touch it
“All the ponies think it’s what made the lake, but in actuality the waterfall provides very little water, most of is is drawn away as spray and mist”
“In fact the waterfall itself is pony made, the old designers of Canterlot thought it would make it more majestic, these springs have been here since before Canterlot”
>You look up at the mighty castle above
>Yeah you could see the majesty of that
>”How do you know all this?”
>Blaze looks at you blankly
>An eye blinks and seconds later it’s followed by the other
“Light reading”
>lol he’s a nerd
>”Yeah I saw, hehehe, nerd”
>He shoots up in the water
“Dude! I forgot to ask, what happened with Shear? I was rooting for her to win, but I think a herd makes for a happier ending”
>”She was a little, uh, what’s the word? Aggressive? That kinda works. Maybe preoccupied?”
>”Aggressively preoccupied, that’ll do. But after that little snafu and a brief talk she was into the idea” 
“Awwwwww yiss boi”
>”You know it!”
>You sober up a little
“But honestly I’m not sure what I’ve just got myself into, I went into this knowing literally nothing. There could be some surprises”
“Yeah man, always are”
>”That’s so deep”
>Or you’re just high
>You backstroke out further into the springs
>Call yourself crazy but that single cloud from earlier looks a lot lower down than it previously was
>You reach the base of the waterfall
>It really is just a light mist falling over you
>From all the way over here Blaze looks an awful like the lockness monster
>That’s kinda scary, let’s get back closer
>”Hey man I’ve go some cigarettes if you want one”
>Blaze looks at you with surprise 
“Dude! Cigarettes, as in tobacco cigarettes!”
>”Well duh”
“Dude you can get into a lot of trouble for having those, tobacco is illegal in Equestria, And also fuck yeah man! Tobacco is coveted, even in the dragon territories”
>That makes your ciggies extremely valuable 
>Neat!
>”Come on”
>You both paddle back to the shallows near the beach edge
>Blaze remains sitting in the warm water as you scurry your naked ass up to your pants to retrieve your required items
>You flop back into the water, ensuring your precious cargo remains dry
>”Here man”
>He grabs the cig from your hand
>”Let me light you up”
>You brandish your lighter but Blaze has got himself covered with a small puff of purple and green fire
>”So pretty”
“Dude wat?”
>”Wat?”
“Want me to get the for you man?”
>His claw is directed to your cig
>”I got this one covered show-off”
>You light up and toss the lighter back to shore
“Dude and you said I was showing off”
>”What do you mean? You’re not just high are you?”
>You both break down in snuffling laughter
“aaah man, nah dude, that’s a mad gadget you’ve got for someone who can’t breath fire. It’s like a portable pocket sized flame”
>”Oh yeah I guess you're right”
>You both take a drag from your death sticks
>Sitting in the shallows has left your torso exposed to the cold so you slip down into a more lying position
>That’s better!
“It’s kind of odd actually, not a lot of equestrian’s are fans of fire”
>Good old fire, humanity's best friend
>Burn! Baby burn!
>”I’m not exactly an equestrian Blaze, my species has a very strong attachment to fire, we see it as something dangerous, something powerful, something beautiful. Really it was just a good evolutionary tool”
“That’s cool man”
>You lay silently next to the sitting Blaze, both of you smoking away
>Blaze exhales, not dragon smoke but man smoke
“Hey Anonymous?”
>wuz up Blaze
>Wait he can’t hear your thoughts, let's try that again
>”What is up my fellow?”
>Blaze looks at you with confusion in his red eyes
“A few things… Can you tell me the name of our planet?”
>The fuck kinda question…?
>”Let met take a guess… uh, Small ponies and Co., Planet edition?”
>Blaze just stare through your joking answer with concern
"No, no it's not..."
“You’re a xenos aren’t you Anonymous?” 
>”Xenos, xenos, what was…”
>”OH! An alien… What makes you say that!?”
>He looks away
“A few things, like how you have basically no knowledge of the culture here, or behavioral cues”
“You have hither to unknown technologies you just pull from your pocket, the odd things you say about your species”
“You’re very vague about where you come from, you’re body is relatively hairless, which unless you have scales, feathers or a skin condition, is almost unheard of...”
>Well fuck
>This one has got your shit figured out, he was pretty smart
>Although all he’s really done has been think about all your bullshit and realise the obvious
>Blaze continues
“Also I’ve read a lot of history and your species has never been mentioned or recorded, by, well, /any/ of the sapient races. I dunno if I’m just stoned but that seems a little weird man”
“I should also mention I’ve been in the dragon migration before and there’s been no sign of your society”
“And among many, many other things you are also fidgeting about, looking very uncomfortable with this topic”
>Fuck it, just fuck it you know? He’s got ya
>You’re high enough to not give a shit right now
>”What do you want me to say man? yah got me? Yeah I guess I could be what you’d call an alien, but that would also make you an alien to me tho”
“Woah.. you just blew my mind”
>”So got anything you wanna ask a real life fucking alien?”
>...
“Not really”
>”You are so disappointing to me right now” 
“Fine man, how did you get here?”
>”Uhhh, I don’t know ask again later”
*Sigh*
“Why are you here?”
>”...dunno”
>...
>”Yeah you don’t have to be excited now. Just don’t tell anyone else would you”
“You’re secret's safe with me, but look dude, these ponies aren’t as stupid as they act. They’ll figure you out eventually”
>God he was right
>”Let’s just hope that when that time comes they’ll be a chill as you”
>Blaze tosses his ciggy butt and swims out from the shallows
“You know me Anon, King of the chill”
>Following suit you fling your butt away and swim out again
>”You know all that serious talk has left me feeling not as high as I could be”
“I could go for a little more myself”
>Yee
>Blaze disappears from view as he sinks under the surface 
>Waz he doin’?
>Looking up the single cloud has drifted right above you
>What’s up with that damn cloud?
>The area around you starts to bubble, each one releasing a pocket of smoke
>Within seconds everything is shrouded by the dense white clouds
>The fact it’s night doesn’t help your vision
>You can hear Blaze resurface somewhere nearby
>Smells nice up in this bitch
>The squint returns to your eyes and a desire for food can be felt building up on the horizon 
>With the lack of wind the smoke travels straight up and passes through the cloud above
*ACK*
*Cough* *Cough*
>Both you and Blaze turn to each other and speak
>”You alright Blaze?”
“You alright Anon?”
>“Yeah”
“Yeah”
>”Weird, alright let’s do another, float a bit, then we can head on over to the cafe for mad munchies”
“I do love me some mad munchies”
>Blaze let's loose once again, the biggest you’ve seen yet
>You’re eyes must be red as satan arsehole by now
>When it rises above you the small cloud is completely enveloped
>You grin at Blaze
>”Nice one!”
*Cough* *Cough*
*ACK* *COUGH*
>”Hey I guess we did hear coughing before. Cool”
>Wait what?
>You raise a finger to Blaze
>”You sure it isn’t you, even though I was watching you just then?”
“Not me man, I swear”
>Blaze points a claw at you
“Same question”
>”Nah”
>You look back up at the cloud
>Wait a sec this has happened before, last night in fact!
>You mutter under your breath
>”Silver”
>As you say so you now notice the fairly obvious hoof sticking over the side of the cloud
*Cough*
>”I know who it is Blaze”
>”Silver Linings! Get down here!”
>The pony rolls off the cloud and into full view
>Or the best view you can have at night
>Silver wobbles around in the air unsteadily
>She looks dizzy
>Eventually the batpone manages to flip and flap her way down to you 
“Anon, my very special somepony! hehehehe! VERY! HAHAHAHA!”
>Oh god she’s high
“I feel kinda strange Anon, I feel… happy!”
>She attempts to land on the water as if it were solid ground, to only sink down to her neck before you grab her
“EEEEK”
“HAHAHA! Whoops! Silly me! ehahah HAHAHA HEHE, Oh Luna why was that so funny!?”
>You hold Silver to your side and most definitely don’t take the opportunity to feel her, actually quite firm, rump
>Slowly you kick your way back to a depth where you could stand, small pony giggling wildly in your arms
>Blaze accompanies you
>”Yo Blaze I take it the ponies here don’t smoke weed”
“Some do actually, but Silver Linings does not”
>”First time for everything”
>Silver cackles in your arms
“Hahahahah, you’re talking about funny things Anon”
>”Ha, sure are, you are fucked aye?”
>She very exuberantly crosses her hooves and gives you her best stern look while trying not to crack up
“NOW, now Anonymous!”
>She puts a hoof to her muzzle to try and stifle her snickering
“Just because w-w-we’re a c-c-cuddle, BAHAHAHAHA, oh sheesh, hehehe wah no, hehe, ahah…”
“AHAHA, HAHAHA!”
>The mare loses control and explodes into laughter
>Her small hooves pound into your chest as she gasps for air between laughing fits
>She hits you awkwardly between the fourth and fifth rib, causing you to give out a grunt of shock
>Her laughter stops immediately
“Anonymous! Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I? Oh gosh I am so sorry, please, please don’t be mad at me”
>You don’t answer her a for a moment, instead slowly swaying back and forth in the water with her clutching to your side
>She’s got her saddlebags and clothes still on
>Both now very wet
>Woah man, deja vu as fuck from last night
>Always knew you could make the ladies wet, hehe
>”It’s fine, you’d have to hit a lot harder to hurt me”
>She seems pensive over what you say
“Okay then… As I was saying before, just because we’re a cuddle couple now doesn’t mean I can let you break the rules, no swearing!”
“You need to be punished! Hehehehe“
>Her hoof rubs under her muzzle
“But how to punish you… I know! heheh”
“One kiss for every swear!”
>Argh nooo, the punishment was too severe for you to even deal
>”Fuck, shitnuts, cockknob!”
>You lift the bat further out of the water and smooch both her cheeks
>You spend the next of your two punishments smooching and lightly nibbling on the side of her neck
>She starts giggling uncontrollably
“hahahehe calm down there inmate... or keep going, haha”
>You lower her back into the water 
>”So why exactly were you in that cloud before?”
“oh that, uhhh, what did you say?”
>”Why were you in the cloud”
“Ha, that’s right. Well you see Nonny I was just using the cloud as a perch to help supervise the inmates back to their rooms”
>Nonny?
>”Sorry, and excuse me, but did you say Nonny?”
>Silver covers her open mouth of surprise with her hooves
“Ooops, sorry Anon, I wasn’t thinking straight”
>”Actually it sounds cute coming from you, feel free to use it if you want”
“haha, Alright Nonny”
>”So back to the cloud”
“k, um, what happened again? That’s right, all the inmate got ushered inside so I took a moment to have a break, but while I was lounging about the wind must have blown me over here!”
>”Odd that there’s like, no wind tonight though”
“It must have been a freak wind gust, trust me, pegasi control the weather, I know what I’m talking about”
>She’s talking shit but you don’t actually know enough about it to call her out
>”hahaha, if you insist you silly bat”
>Excluding freak gusts of wind it was much more likely that she spied Blaze and yourself walking to the beach and chose to tail the two of you
>She would have got more than she’d dreamed of when you stripped off to go swimming
>Why did all your mares have to be so cheeky?
>As if trying to prove your point you can clearly see Silver’s huge eyes trying to seek out your junk under the murky depths
>The water may be crystal clear but there’s not enough light for her search to be effective
>But she seems pretty fixated on one spot
>Did batpones get night vision? Because if so bad pone, don’t do that no more
>You shake the mare to get her to look back at you
“Hehehehe, what I do? Nothing that’s what!”
>”Alright then”
>Blaze emerges from the water
“Dude I think it’s snack time”
>Man was he ever right, you crave dem snacks
>Silver has become very attentive
“You guys have snacks!”
>”Yes we do, you want some?”
“Yes!”
>Silver looks back up at you, admiration in her loving eyes
“You’re so sweet to me Anon… It’s nice to have some pony who actually cares for me”
>Your adorable little batmare snuggles up closer to you in the water
>What she said was kind of sad
>Why wasn’t there anyone to care for her? The high little cuddle pone
>”You’re so damn cute”
>Her hooves squeeze you tighter
>”Now then, TO SNACKS!”
>Your little high entourage cries out in joy
>You slowly wade back in from the deep waters to the shore
>Silver attempts, or pretends to attempt, to not look at your privates
>Lucky that water was heated, no costanza moments for you
>You put her down and ignore the stare
>You quickly pull up your underwear
“Hehehe, no fair Anon, I don’t wear pants…”
*Achoo*
>No she didn’t wear pants but she did still wear wet guard clothes
>”Clothes off Silver”
>She gasps, and if not for the lighting you’d see a blush too
“Anon we can’t do that here! Blaze is right over there”
>”Bad pony, that’s not what I meant, it’s really cold out and you got some dank ol’ wet cloths, like last night, take ‘em off”
>She just giggles
“If my stallion wants my clothes off I can’t stop him! hehehe”
>She wriggles out of her top, stores it in her bags and shakes herself off 
>She was still damp so you grab your pants and use them rub her down
>The whole time the cooked unit giggles wildly as you move along her body
“Hehehe, you can stop Nonny, I’m all dried up!”
>You take back your now wet pants
>Looks like you’re just down to underwear for the night
>Thank fuck you goin’ to that warm ass library
>Silver raises her hooves brandishing her wet saddle bags
“Can you please carry this Anon, I don’t want it to wet my flanks”
>”k”
>You slowly lean down and grab the bags
>When you pull them up the pony follows, still holding to the straps
>You easily lift the bag above your head to raise the bat to eye level
>She’s giving you the stupidest adorable grin
“Hehe, I’m part of the bag now, you have to carry me too”
>Aw jee wizz she got you real bad, how absolutely terrible for you in every way possible
>”Ha, alright”
>You pry the pony from the bag and sling her over your shoulder like a rucksack
>The actual bag remains in your hand
>She laughs wildly
>”Alright Blaze, let's go”
>You both pridefully stride/slowly shamble to the library
>The three of you with squintented red tinged eyes and stupid fuck grins on your faces
>Every so often Silver would let out a chuckle that would slowly pass between the three of you
>It was fun high times
>You reach the miniature castle of a library and push through the double doors
>It’s after hours but as you’d thought last night, the library was kept open 24/7
>Amazingly there are some ponies still up in here
>All of whom are surrounded by piles of books and stacks of dirty coffee mugs
>Each one seems to display their own tick of over-caffeination
>An eye twitch for that pony, there’s a leg jitter over there, oh wow a crazy mutterer!
>As Blaze enters the skeleton crew of Nut cafe workers rush into action
>They greet the three of you with a smile, and barely bat an eye at your veritable nakedness
>It would seem they are also well acquainted with both Blaze and Silver
>The nut waiter directs you back further into the library
>You quickly reach a small section of the library where the floor was made of a soft foam
>In the centre is a small japanese tea looking sized table
>Small relative to yourself of course
>Around it are three large and fluffy cushions
>But where the snacks at?
>Silver shares your sentiment
“Where’s the food?”
>As if on cue a serving trolley full of deliciousness arrives
>Smores, chocolates, lollipops, ice cream, a damn cake! 
>There were also some small horse orientated items, like a hay smoothie and sugared flower petals
>Your server speaks up
“Feel free to eat as much of this as you want, it’s on the house. It all expires today anyway”
>”Yeeya, free food, Blaze you know how to hook it up!”
>You drop Silver onto a cushion and claim one for yourself    
>It only takes a few worming movements before Silver has found herself laying over your crossed legs
“I have the need to sit here and you're not allowed to move Nonny or I’ll send you to time out! Heheheh I’m a guard pony”
>You’ll allow this/have to allow this
>The three of you begin unloading the serving cart of its sweet burden
>To your great delight not everything is so overloaded with sugar that it makes you want to die
>Some of the chocolates, and the ice cream, were edible. The smores made with sugar crackers dipped in extra sugar and also given an interdimensional pocket of infinite space in which only sugar exists, and cake so sweet you swear you’d burnt your tongue, were not as edible
>Once the food had been easily devoured a tray of small apple pies so stupid delicious they could blow your face right off your skull, were taken out as a dessert to your dessert
>Apparently the apples came straight from the Apple family orchard
>As you recall that’s where you were caught stealing
>The three of you feast down until just a single pie remains on the platter
>Silver is eyeing it hungrily
>”You want that last pie Blaze”
“Nah I’m good man”
>You poke Silver’s haunch
>”Go for it”
>Her wing darts out and snatches up the treat
>Her little muzzle happily chomps away at her snack
>Gosh even the way these ponies eat is too cute!
>She munches down the last fragment, burps, and rolls over exposing her happy swollen belly
“~Ah~ So good”
>”Yeah it was, thanks Blaze”
>He’s fallen asleep
>Fair enough
>You put your hand on Silver’s full belly and rub away
>There was no possibility of you resisting such a satisfied pony belly for so long
>She let's out a content sigh and closes her gold-brown speckled/now red tinged eyes
>It's at the point that she gives off stifled moans you choose to stop
>You don't want another repeat of Shear’s incident 
>Not right now anyway
>Instead you lean down and blow a raspberry on her belly
“Hehehe EeeeEeEeeeE Haha, ANON STOP!”
>You blow another and have the mare bucking about with laughter
“Nonn-ah~ haha, STOPPIT NONNY!”
>”haha. Fine, fine, I’ll stop, but you know you love it”
>Blaze stires from his restive state, disturbed by Silver’s laughter
>”Oh sorry about waking you up man”
“Ha. It’s fine guy’s, I think it’s time I called it a night anyway it’s really late”
>By really late he means 10:30pm
>”Night Blaze”
“Good night shiny gold dragon, hehe”
>You pat your silly little pony
>Blaze slithers up and hazily shuffles away
>You smooth down Silvers ruffled belly fur
>As you feel along her body it occurs to you while one of the more lithe ponies you’d met Silver had some fairly solid muscle under there
>No wonder she had such a firm rear
>”Did you know you’re a pretty fit pony?”
“hehe, duh! I’m a guard silly, gotta be fit to take care of unruly prisoners! grr!”
>She flexes a foreleg
“But I don’t think I’m as strong as you Nonny, you’re really big ‘n’ stuff”
>She looks up at you with widening eyes
“And you’re so tall! Have you always been so tall!? And you only have two legs! How do you not fall down all the time?”
>”I’m as tall as I’ve ever been, you’re just high, and I guess a few million years of evolution is why I don’t fall over”
>Silver’s shocked
“A-a few /million/ years! How old are you Anonymous!?”
>”No, no, that’s not how evolution works or what I meant, I’m not millions of years old”
“HA, silly me!”
>She rolls back over onto her stomach
“You can rub my back for me Nonny”
>That was definitely not a question
>Rub-a-dub-dub let's get into it
>Petting ponies while high makes you feel amazing
>”So I’m guessing you don’t want me to make you lunch tonight?”
“I could eat”
>She looks at her belly
“But I really shouldn’t… Hmm? In exchange I think I can take an evening snuggle with my very special somepony!”
>”If I must”
>You pull in all the surrounding pillows and lay down to get comfortable
>Your little hug bat wriggles up on your chest
“This will work”
>One of the jittery Nut waiter’s notices the change of mood, wheels out a gramophone and puts on a record
>(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPvS0g2papI)
>Silver smiles
“Clopin is one of my favorite composers”
>Damn this waiter is the best
>Silver extends out each of her legs and relaxes
>Her soft leathery wings droop down wrap about your sides
>You reciprocate by putting your hands on either of her sides and slowly stroking back and forth
“MmMMmM, Thank you for being here for me Nonny”
>”Sure thing”
>She closes her eyes and rests her head on crossed hooves
>You gently massage your fingers along her sides and into her ribs
>She lets out a content sigh
>You dig your fingers in what you’d call her wing’s armpit and rub away with your knuckles
>Soon you have one of her back legs twitching like a dog
>”You quite alright there?”
>She opens one of her eyes to look at you
“Hehe, sorry Anon”
>”It’s fine, so long as you don’t kick below the belt”
>You go back to petting but the mare begins wriggling about on your chest
>”What is it this time?”
>She makes a series of light grunting noises
“Eh, ah, hehe I have a really bad itch on my flank, can you get it Nonny?”
>”Sure tell me where it is”
>You put your hand on her firm flank and begin a light scratch
“Other flank Nonny”
>”Sorry”
>You switch flanks
“Move down and out a little bit. Ah~ That’s the spot”
>You scratch away at pony booty
>Eventually the mares grunts of satisfaction die down 
>You look up to see her looking at you with a stupid grin on her muzzle
“Hehe, hahahaha! You touched a butt! Ahaha, oh Luna”
>You look at your hand on her rump
>You have indeed touched a pony butt
>”I touched your butt”
>Silver’s laughter ceases immediately as her hooves rush to cover her mouth, blush full formed
“Eeeeeeee”
>No more touchies
>Taking your hand away you see her cutie mark
>A magnifying glass with a Deerstalker cap
>You could take a guess as to what that’s for
>”Hey, what’s your Cutie Mark for?”
>She looks back at her flank and rubs her mark with a hoof
“Oh, I got it working as a private detective”
>”Really, that sounds awesome, tell me how you got it! Why aren’t you working as a detective anymore?”
>She immediately sobers up and loses the grin she’d had since the lake 
“It’s a long story, I don’t really want to talk about it, but I’m no longer working as one because Luna required I have some official on the job training as a guard. I’d like to return one day”
>You continue stroking the pony
>”Why don’t you want to tell me about your cutie mark? It’s not like it’s something to be embarrassed about. I bet your family loved it! Being a Detective is so cool”
>She only looks sadder, you’re doing something wrong here
“I-I Don’t have any family, not until now, until you Nonny”
>She tears up
>Doesn’t have a family? The poor thing!
>You wrap her up in a hug
>”There, there, I guess I’ve lost all my family too, do you want to tell me about it, could help”
*Sniff*
“So you didn’t have anypony either Nonny?”
>”Not anymore at least”
*Sniffle*
>She tries to hug you with her little legs but gives up, using the greater reach of her wings instead
“...Okay, I guess I should tell you”
>You can feel some exposition coming here
“My mother and father were both detective ponies like myself”
“I think they both met in the industry, I’m not sure, but I’ve been told they we’re a loving couple”
“Back when I was just a newborn filly they were working together on a case”
“From what I’d read on the official record they had been tracking down some escaped chickens, the last anypony ever saw of them they were heading into the Everfree forest and they never came back out”
“After a week of searching it was decided that they had succumb to a cockatrice attack”
>She tears up and you wipe them away with a thumb
“Thanks Nonny, I may have never really known them but it’s still a sad topic for me”
>”I completely understand, you can stop if you want
>She shakes her head back and forth
“No, it’s fine, you’re right, I feel good”
“Anyway, that left me, barely two months old, an only foal with no other relatives”
“The local council had me sent off to Sunny Smiles Orphanage, which was anything but”
“When you put all the sad lonely ponies in the one place all you end up with is a bunch of sad lonely ponies in one place, not the best environment to be raising a foal”
“The only good thing about it was a fancy gold crown they had on display in the main hall”
“Even as a small filly I knew I wouldn’t be getting out of that miserable place through adoption”
“Snobby Canterlot ponies aren’t exactly known for their charity, especially to the lower class, and I wasn’t a unicorn either, that didn’t help”
>Silver looks determined
“My only other way out was to make enough bits to go it alone”
“So early on I would use the cover of darkness to sneak out at night”
“I’d stay out as long as I could working on the streets”
“I got a lot of work as a waitress pony in a back alley cuddle brothel. It's lucky the bouncers there had a soft spot for such a young and orphaned filly”
“If it weren't for those stallions I could have ended up working at that place as something a lot worse than just a waitress”
>Your bat mare looks sullen
>You move your hand up her back and to her head, stroking around her ears, being sure to give them a good scratch
>She grins dopily 
“Thanks Nonny”
>”They sound like nice ponies”
“They were, we still keep in touch”
“Now just because those guys kept me safe at the Corner Cuddle Club didn’t mean I stayed out of trouble everywhere”
“Working as a waitress pony as a young filly wouldn’t earn me enough bits to escape in a hundred years”
>The mare looks away, clearly upset
“To make bits fast I ended up working for some, less than reputable ponies”
“I was hired by a pony called Marelon Brando, he’s the biggest criminal in Canterlot not in prison. All I had to do was collect bits from ponies who wouldn’t pay Marelon Brando for his services”
>Marelon Brando?
>She was a mob boss henchpony?
>”And how exactly did a little filly get ponies to pay up?”
“Nopony ever bothers to check a little filly for a high powered stun crystal, or that’s what Marelon would say”
>Alrighty
>”I think I get it”
“I saw a lot of pillow fights working under his family, it was a dark time, but the bits were worth it” 
“By this point I didn’t even live at the orphanage anymore, one night I simply left without telling anypony and never came back. Marelon had accommodations for me in one of his reserve mansions and anywhere was better than the orphanage”
“I spent a long time working for Marelon, especially at night, but I’d grown used to staying up very late anyway, another reason he’d chosen to hire me to begin with”
“Things may have been better for me than they ever were, I had a fully belly every night, lots of bits, a place to stay, Marelon even payed for my education and a lot of the other ponies working for him would play with me when they had the time”
“But I knew something was wrong, I still hadn’t gotten my cutie mark and most ponies my age had gotten theirs years ago... I just wasn’t as happy as I thought I should be” 
“After a particularly late night I had a dream. It was about my parents. I felt some force in my dream imploring me to learn more about them”
*Sniffle*
>A few tears begin to form once again
“Originally I didn’t know anything about my parents, all I was told at the orphanage was that they were gone and I was alone”
>The tears begin to drop
>You’d clean her up with your shirt but you don’t have one
>Silver Linings doesn’t seem to mind as she wipes her face on your chest
>She looks back to you, tears gone
“Driven by this strange dream I went to ask Marelon if he could find anything out, he did and does have contacts equestria wide”
“As it turns out he was the exact pony to speak to, Marelon’s business had been watching my parents work, they liked to keep an eye on anypony working for the law”
“It was from Marelon’s files that I learnt everything I know about them now, and it was from them that I drew inspiration to work as a private detective”
>You remain silent, attentive to her every breath
“With my new dream in place I asked Marelon Brando for one last favour, to be let go, so I could pursue my new desires”
“With all the bit’s I’d earned I managed to get myself a little apartment together in the, not so fancy part of Canterlot”
>You nod
>”Yeah, you mentioned it last night”
“Mmhmm, that one. After settling in I used what few bits I had left to open up and run my own private detective agency out of it”
“Even though I was still a young filly, just a few years short of being called a mare, it wasn’t hard to get work with the number of contacts I’d made over my years on the streets”
“And it was after my first case case that my cutie mark appeared and I knew I’d made the right decision in leaving
>”What was the case?”
“A mare hired me to find a missing applepie, the culprit was the mare’s coltfriend, usually is. As I recall they never spoke to one another again”  
>You hug the pony tightly and brush her mane from her eyes
>”So that explains the cutie mark, but how did you end up with Luna?”
“Oh, well a few years later and I was up way later than usual working a job when I was approached by a cloaked pony”
“They had wanted my services to retrieve a crown they’d lost. Amazingly the description given exactly matched the crown from my old orphanage”
“It took all of my effort, but I eventually returned to Sunny Smiles Orphanage”
“There was a new matron mare running the place and when I mentioned my name nopony knew who I was, so I bought the crown and left. I knew from then on that that part of my life was over for good, and I couldn’t be for it happier”
>Silver sighs
“I just wish the same for all the foals who live there now”
>She gets back to her story
“The following night the hooded pony returned and asked for their crown. I hadn’t even told them I had it yet!”
“To my surprise when I handed the crown back I found I was handing the royal crown to the princess of the night herself!”
>You gently shake the pony about happily
>”That must have been exciting! Could you believe it!?”
“I was more terrified than excited! The princess can be a scary pony, and no I couldn’t believe it, not at all”
>”So what happened next?”
“Well at first I thought she had come to banish me and put me in prison in the place I was banished. I did have a criminal past”
“Hehe, as I recall I locked myself in the bathroom out of fright”
“But the princess can teleport so that didn't exactly work out how I'd planned”
>You move your hands up to her cheeks and push them together
>”Well weren't you a silly little pony”
>Her muzzle scrunches up
“I may have been”
>You put your arms back around the batpone in a lazy snuggle hug
>You've only just noticed but every time your heart beats the small pony on your chest shakes a little
“When Luna strode up to me cowering under the toilet I swore it was all over”
“I closed my eyes tightly and waited for the end”
“But the next thing I felt was the princess nuzzling against me, drawing me to my hooves”
>Silver’s eyes shine at the memory
“She magically dried my tears, apologised, and explained herself”
“She had been watching my work for a while”
“Apparently because I was helping so many ponies around me that she wanted me to join her royal guard”
“I think it also helped that I already had her preferred sleep pattern”
>”So what did you do?”
“What do you think silly! I said yes! The very next day I was moved up into the castle and began my formal training”
“That was mainly composed of defence and combat training, which I basically already knew, and an education on the history of the Night's Watch”
“Once my formal training was complete Luna gifted me the Night’s blessing and I was sent down here, and right now...”
>She relaxes her head on your chest and flickers her ears
“I couldn't be happier”
>daww such a cutie
"...I love you Anon"
>You rub your nose up against her muzzle to get her to blush
>"I love you too Silver"
>You lean your head back on the soft pillows
>The music plays in the background, a new song but equally as peaceful, and the soft bat wings wrapped around you keep you nice and toasty
>You close your eyes and feel the thud of Silver’s heart, perfectly in sync with your own


>You open your eyes and are surprised by what you see
>Where once you were surrounded by the library you now find yourself on a small floating sponge like rock
>Peculiar and completely alien plants grow from the odd soil
>You sit up and look out
>The horizon looks to be an orangey tinted smoke, wisping along
>Your rock floats through a yellow-orangey fog
>There are several other rocky objects floating about in this space and far bellow you think you can make out the ruins of a city
>Everything intermittently has a black foggy wisp come off it
>As you look you also notice you have an odd tunnel vision effect happening, where your peripheries seem distorted
>If you listen closely you can still hear the sound of the music playing in the library
>What is this?
>Are you dead?
>Have you mysteriously moved onto another plane of existence yet again?
>A dark blue hole opens up before you and rapidly grows in size
>Out from it steps the, as of yet, largest pony you had seen
>She was a deep blue with... stars? For hair, and a moon on her butt
>The crown upon her head was a dead giveaway as to who she was
>Princess Luna, guardian of the night
>She also had wings and a horn, so there’s that
“ANONYMOUS THE HUMAN”
>You cringe back from the shout
>”Yeah that’s me, and also fucking ouch, would you mind turning it down a couple notches?”
>The large mare looks taken aback
“Why is it one speaks with such… informality?”
>”I dunno. I’m only kinda sure of who you are, I don’t know where I am, everything is smoking and I think I might be dead, so I see no reason to be overly formal, in fact I’m kinda annoyed, are you even real?”
>She seems somewhat apprehensive now, you might have just caught her off guard
“Worry not Anonymous, t’is only a dream”
>She looks about
“A very strained one at that, it took me sometime to work my way in here without fracturing the dream”
“Your mind rebels at something…”
>”It could have something to do with the very large horse that’s just barged its way into my brain”
>Luna recoils
>Your dream suddenly darkens as thunder booms and your dreams foggy sky flashes with lightning
“You dare call ME A WHORSE!!”
>The sound of her screaming is almost painful
>You collapse to a knee
>As suddenly as it had begun everything ends and once again the only audible noise is the music
“WHERE IS SILVER LININGS!? Her clear infatuation with you has her blinded to your evil ways. I will not allow a /red suit/, of all ponies, to ruin my initiate”
>She spits out the words ‘red suit’ with absolute disgust
“I’ve been watching over her since she was but a foal, I steared her from the ways of bad ponies to the side of order! You will NOT-
>Would this big horse just fuck off 
>”Will you just shut up! I have no idea what you’re going on about! And why would Silver be here? And for that matter why are you here? None of this makes any GODDAMN SENSE!”
>Your anger is cut off by the sudden appearance of a streak of warm slick liquid of your forehead
>”Eh? What the fu-?”
>A few more streaks of liquid appear, some even start popping up on your chest
>Luna is still in shocked silence at your outburst, and likely the lack of bowing and groveling
>She goes to speak but before she can say anything she disappears in a puff of smoke
>Slowly the world around you breaks apart and drops away to leave you floating by yourself in a black void  
>You close your eyes, sure now that you have actually died



>Your eyes open
>Around you once again is the library
>Music, a lot more prominent, yet once again a new song 
>Certainty of death, a lot less certain
>You must have fallen asleep
>You could swear you dreamt about something… but what the hell was it?
>You try to focus but cannot recall much aside from some extremely loud shouting
>Well it’ll come back to you if it’ll come back to you
>You dab at your forehead to find some sort of slimy liquid
>There’s also something tickling you on your chest
>Looking down you spy Silver, with her cute little pink tongue intermittently peeking out and licking at your chest
>You clear your throat
>’Egh-erm”
>”You quite alright there?”
>The batpone leaps a clean six feet in the air from fright
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!”
>She looks down at you while flapping in the air, face, several shades of red deeper than before
>Slowly she descends and plops back down on you with a light thud
“Hehehe, sorry Nonny, but you started to sweat a little and I thought, somepony should really clean this prisoner up before he gets in trouble for being so dirty!… but then… well…”
“Have you ever had a Salt Lick before Anon? I have, and I know, you can think less of me if you want, but it was back when I was working for Marelon. I was just a filly, life was really stressful!”
>You boop her on the snoot
>”Calm, down silly filly, I know what a salt lick is where I’m from, and knowing the absurdity of this place they’re probably the same thing, and you guys are just real weird about it, but it shouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of”
>Silver looks less worried
“Okay”
>”...so are you trying to tell me is that I’m like a Salt Lick?”
“Kinda, I hope you don’t mind”
>”Uh, no, no it’s fine, just how about next time you do some weird pony thing, make sure I’m awake, you gals have a tendency to get carried away” 
>Shear in particular
“Nonny?”
>Silver looks away in embarrassment and rubs the back of her head with a hoof
>”Yeah?”
“Why do you have nipples? Dragons don’t have nipples... And you’re a stallion”
>You look at your nip-nops, one of which has an amount of pony saliva over it
>”Oh, all humans have them, they’re just vestigial structures left over from prenatal development, and like I keep saying, I am a human, not a dragon”
>She looks at you blankly, clearly not understanding a thing you said
“...okay then”
>A yawn overtakes you as you realise how tired you’ve become
>A quick check of the clock puts it at 11:30pm
>Of all the things here the fact that time measurements remained the same was one of the best, but you were asleep for longer than you thought
>”I think it’s time for me to get to bed Silver”
“What! Nonny no-
>She cuts herself off with a sharp intake of breath as she too yawns
“Ahaha, I guess I’m kinda tired too. That’s funny my bedtime isn’t for a few hours”
>”Yeah I wonder why…”
>Mad drugs
>Silver suddenly recalls something
“WAIT! You can’t sleep yet, I need you to do something for me!”
>The pony rolls off you and scrounges around in her saddle bags
>She pulls out a small sac and from it drops two black spheres
“These are Dreaming stones, if a pony blessed by Luna sleeps with one they may enter the dreams of others”
>”That sounds awesome! But why do you have two?”
“Because if somepony else sleeps with the other the stone it acts as a beacon, making it much easier to locate and join that ponies dream”
>K, you’ve got it
>”You want me to take one don’t you?”
>The mare looks at you with pleading eyes
“Please Nonny, it would mean a lot to me, yours would be the first dreams I’ll have ever joined”
>You pick up a stone
>”Well duh I’m going to do it, that sounds so cool!”
>Silver clutches at you tightly with her little legs
“Thank you, thank you so much Nonny”
>”So is there anything else?”
“Oh, I hope you don’t mind but Princess Luna will be joining us, she wanted to meet you for some reason”
>You feel a chill go down your spine
>Something about that has you worried
>”It should be fine… I think”
>Silver remains apprehensive
>”What is it now?”
“Y-you know Nonny, because this is my first time I’m not very skilled at Dream watching”
“A-and one of my fellow initiates said it helps a lot if we’re... /physically/ close when we try it and so…”
”I was wondering if”
*Gulp*
“If I could sleep in your bed tonight… with you”
>The mare looks away in embarrassment 
>”Uhhh, I’m not sure how that actually helps, but I guess you can if you really have to”
“Really! I’ll go get my pillow! I’ll see you in your room!”
>Silver dives off and flies away, leaving a comical puff of dust behind
>You groan loudly as you stiffly get up
>Switching off the gramophone and wheeling the dessert trays back to the cafe you give your thanks to the workers and enter the crisp darkness of the night, Silver’s bag, the black stones she’d forgotten in her rush, and your own clothes in hand
>The silent night and the glowing blue paths make for a peaceful midnight stroll back to your room
>Once you reach your floor you walk straight to the laundry to hang out Silvers clothes and pick up your pillow case from this morning
>Jeez Shear really had a tendency to get her saliva and snot on a lot of your things
>You feel the slight stickiness to your face
>So would Silver, apparently
>You splash some water from the nearby sink onto your face and chest to clean up
>Right, it’s bed time at fucking last!
>You follow the glowing floor to your room and sneak inside
>The light is off and remains off
>Whatever magical system they had in place for the lights clearly knew when someone was sleeping
>You could make out Shear’s bundled form, doing just that
>Silver clearly had not yet made it to your room, but she needs you asleep anyway, so no reason not to pass the fuck out asap
>Taking a step forward into the darkness your bare foot strikes something unbelievably hard
>After a brief moment of immense pain and hopping about clutching at your mangled toes, while trying to remain as silent as possible, you reach down and pick up the culprit
>It was that rock Shear had gotten from Gem Club, stupid rock 
>And phew!, Boy does it smell!
>Lavender and Strawberries, just like earlier, but way, /way/ stronger
>It's probably the thing leaving your room smelling like that
>You leave to orb on the center table
>She really shouldn’t be leaving things like this just laying around in a place with non-hooved creatures
>Shit hurts your little toesies 
>You run PillowCaseinstall.exe and look down at your bed
>It’s a mess
>It look quite like a small pony had been rolling around in it
>But who cares, you barely made your bed back on earth anyway
>You place one Dreaming stons on your bedside table and stick the other under your pillow
>With your eyes closed, the softness of the bed, and coming down from your high, it doesn’t take more than a few seconds to drift off into the oblivion of sleep



>Be Silver Linings
>Be flapping your wings as fast as you possibly could
>Tonight had been amazing
>For some reason you were so happy! And laughing all the time, and also very confused and forgetful, and now you were very tired
>But you’d spend so much quality time with your special somepony
>Anon took you swimming, and he carried you around, and he treated you to some amazing food, which just tasted sooo good for some reason, and, and… H-he cuddled you, and rubbed you AND now he’s even letting you join him not only in his dreams but his /bed/!
>His sweat also has the benefit of being nice and salty
>Your lifetime of working up from the bottom has lead you to the biggest pay off yet
>A family, a real one too! Possibly one with super powers, you’re not sure
>You can’t wait for the Princess to see him tonight! Who knows, maybe she’ll see how strong of heart he is and make him a royal guard with you!
>And was that heart a strong one!
>You could feel its heavy thudding beating into your chest, shaking your entire body
>It felt safe being with such a powerful creature
>Luna would see that too
>Once you reach your room and grab your pillow you’re faced with a dilemma
>Which of your stuffed animals should you bring?
>Mr. Cuddlebumpkin? Mare’dam snuggly? What about Mrs Dummy Shirts?,She even came with matching pen and quill
>You really liked her mane
>The decision takes forever but in the end you believe the best choice was made
>Now it’s time for the real night to begin
>You flap through the blue lit halls with your pillow and a bindle constructed from your blankey 
>In it sat all your stuffed toys
>The right decision was made
>Anon would be asleep by now, but that wasn’t an issue
>You flap around the eerie blue corner to come face to rear with Nurse Soft Cotton
>”EEEEEE!”
“AH!”
>The two of you dive back from one another
>You can now see that Soft Cotton has both a pillow and a blankey bindle
>”/Soft Cotton!/ What are you doing here?”
>You keep your voice to a whisper
“Anon told me at dinner he wouldn’t mind if I slept in his bed, I’m doing just that and you can’t stop me!”
>”B-but that’s what I’m doing!”
>Cotton hisses at you
“So! There are two sides to a sleeping Anon!”
>”Fine!”
>Whatever, you’d be asleep anyway and that was the whole point of your night
>The two of you reach the door
“You know Anon has a roomfriend yeah?”
>”Some minotaur I thought”
“No. It’s Krystal Shear”
>”What!, How’d she score that!”
“They were admitted to PRC at the same time, they could have been friends before they even got here, who knows?”
>”So why are you telling me this?”
”Because if we wake her up you know she’ll try to join us, and while I seem to be the only mare up for sharing Anon I would still prefer to keep him to myself at every opportunity that arises”
>”You don’t have to tell me to be quite, I’m a bat pony!”
“Yeah and those screeches of yours could burst an eardrum
>”HEY!’
“Let’s just go in”
>The two of you silently move through the door and creep towards Anon’s bed
>The light remains off, so he must be asleep
>You spy a figure out of the corner of your eye darting across the room
>SHEAR!
“I thought I could here you two clowns through the door!”
>”So, what are you going to do about it?”
“Exactly what you don’t want me to”
>Soft Cotton whispers
“Hooray for all, now can we just find a way to split Anon between the three of us and get to bed?, I’m really tired”
>Shear shout whispers
“I call right side!”
>Cotton follows suit
“I got left!... Sorry Silver, I don’t know where you can go, oh well, goodnight~”
>Silly mares, they forgot the best place of all
>”Don’t worry about me /Soft Cotton/, I call chest and stomach!”
>Shear and Soft Cotton look stunned
“No fair, trade me!”
“No Silver trade me! You know the left is the best, I’ll give it to you”
>You shake your head and take to the air
>Anon lays strewn over his bed, arms out wildly, blanket halfway up his legs
>You burst open your makeshift sac and stuffed animals go everywhere
>It’s beautiful enough to bring a tear to your eye
>You can also see Anon has placed a Dreaming stone on his bedside table
>The other must be on him somewhere
>Good, that’s taken care of
>You lightly place your hooves on Nonny, attempting not to wake him, when you’re knocked over by a barrage of Soft Cottons stuffed toys
>Amazingly Nonny didn’t wake up
>He must be a really deep sleeper
>Soft Cotton clambers on the bed
“Where’s Doc Cuddlebutt, I can’t sleep without him!”
>”Check the other side of the bed”
>She moves to her allocated side and picks up a crocheted pony doctor
>Finally up comes Shear
“He won’t be mad will he?”
>”...maybe”
>You put your pillow on Anon’s chest and wiggle down to lay on his belly
>Finally you pull up the covers to keep yourself warm
>Shear and Soft Cotton use your blankey and Cotton’s own respectively 
>Maybe you should sleep on your belly?
>Press it up against Anon’s like you had earlier
>Or you could maneuver one of his paws with your wing to make him hug you
>Your two herd sisters move in closer to Nonny’s sides
*Sniff* *Sniff*
>What is Soft Cotton doing?
*Sniff*
“Krystal dear?”
“Mmh”
“You’re not in heat are you? Your medical file didn’t mention it”
>WHAT!
“WHAT!”
“NO, no I’m not in /heat!/”
>You take a deep sniff
>The musky smell isn’t exactly subtle
“It’s fine if you are dear, just come see me in the clinic tomorrow and we can talk about how to cope with it”
“I am NOT in HEAT!”
>Shear’s voice breaks and squeaks as she yells
“If you insist”
>Shear repeats Soft Cotton but with a demeaning voice
“That is not funny Shear!”
>She repeats her again
“Stop it!”
>”By Luna, in heat not in heat, what I know is if you two won’t be quiet you’ll both be put into timeout!”
>Shear goes silent, but Cotton remains defiant
“You can’t put me in timeout I’m a staff member!”
>”The rules apply globally Soft Cotton, even Warden Honey Cakes herself can be sent to timeout if she breaks the rules”
>Soft Cotton shuts up
>Hooray for silence
>How was Anon still asleep after all that?
>Cotton and Shear scoot even closer to Anon
>Close enough that you can feel the occasional rear leg trying to caress his side or hoof rub against his chest
>Gosh, maybe Soft Cotton should be checking over her own medical file
>But none the less you soon find yourself drifting to sleep, being lulled into submission by Anon’s rhythmic breathing 


>Be Anon
>You open your eyes and find yourself lying naked upon a ruined stretch of road
>You feel a soft pattering on your skin like that of raining stuffed animals 
>Shortly after you feel four soft points of pressure on your stomach that’s quickly replaced by one large point
>There’s also the faint sound of squabbling ponies around you
>Ahhhh? Let’s just ignore all that
>You clamber up and look about
>This place is awfully familiar
>Like, Fallout 4 just outside Boston, level of familiar
>Das right you played that shit before being dragged here
>You check your phone for the time
>You actually have your phone
>Definitely a dream then
>You pull something hard from your pocket
>It’s a small black onyx orb
>This was somehow important wasn’t it?
>You store it in your Pip-boy’s digital inventory
>Did you always have that?
>Oh wait, excuse you, it’s the Pimp-boy 3000
>neat
>Well then, lucid dream here we fucking come
>The black orb re-materialises in your hand
>”Stupid thing’s broken”
>It flashes and begins glowing white
>Slowly it rises into the air above you and draws in what looks to be wisps of ethereal energy
>It slowly grows to be the size of a basketball before stopping and remaining above you
>If you ignore it, it’ll go away right?
>You walk down the cracked road surrounded by ruined cars
>The glowing ball follows you
>Fine, it’s here to stay, so long as it doesn’t do anything crazy you’ll be alright
>The sky around you turns dark and stormy
>Stupid glowing ball!
>You look up to the clouds and see the face of a mare forming
>She had a very long horn
>Something about her was eerily familiar
>The cloud face is overcome with a look of fear and shock as the sky turns green and low levels of radiation rain upon the earth
>The face poofs away and leaves you with your normal everyday horrific radiation storm
>Your Pip-boy begins click-click clickittying so it’s time to run your ass out of here
>Sprinting naked down the road you reach a peculiar glass biodome of a house
>Not what you normally find here but fuck it, it’s a dream
>You enter through a decontamination chamber
>Your Pip-boy ceases its clicking
>Inside the dome is a small grassy field with an apple tree at the centre
>You approach the tree and find a small hollow in the trunk
>Inside there’s a small pistol
>No its a plasma pistol
>You look at it closer
>Actually you’ve no idea what it is
>It looks like a miniature futuristic Shotgun
>Glowing purple lights run along the outside like circuitry 
>All right then, you are now equipped with an energy thingamajig 
>You just need some clothes now
>The orb continues being above you 
>”Stupid orb”
>Outside the storm rages furiously
>A small horde of ghouls are wandering by, rejuvenating themselves in the radiation
>You sit down on the bed that you swear was always in here and open up the sleep menu
>You one hour that bitch
>...
>The storm and ghouls are gone, outside is once again a sunny day
>You feel oddly refreshed
>You also seem to have gained underwear so that’s nice
>Leaving the dome and continuing to follow the road further into Boston you spy a dark blue alicorn way out on a scorched black parking lot
>She dives over a rusted car fleeing some pursuing creature 
>The Alicorn puffs away in smoke leaving behind a pair of bewildered mole rats
>You ignore it and continue on
>Oh hey there’s a dead man ahead, let’s rob him!
>Well shit it’s Nate
>From him you equip the vault 111 suit, a leather chest piece, leather left and right arms and a riders metal left leg
>So far so good
>His body also yields some Jet
>Excellent
>The howl of a ghoul has you swiveling around while drawing your purple pistol
>A ghoul has crawled out from under a car and you can see many more coming from other such places
>Well let's test this gun out then
>You aim up a shot to the chest and pull the trigger
>A small spray of purple liquid bursts from the gun barrel
>The liquid sprays over the mutants chest to absolutely no effect
>”Well fuck, that ain’t what I wanted”
>You turn around and sprint away from the hoard of now maybe.. 20 ghouls?
>”Stupid pistol!”
>You begin to turn the small hand crank that appears on the gun as you yell at it
>A small charge bar comes up in your periphery vision
>Your subconscious seems to finally be giving you a break 
>Now you just need to gain conscious control over your dream
>How can you do that?
>You can hear the howl of a ghoul right behind you
>First you need to keep running
>Ruined shops and apartments build up around you as you flee further into the city
>As you charge your weapon up to max capacity you swerve down a back alley and wait for the horde
>They pour around the corner one by one
>As you count the last one around the corner you let loose your now charged weapon, sure your subconscious wouldn’t dick you over
>The gun gives off a *Thoonk* as a cylinder of purple goop is launched at tremendous speed towards the lead ghoul
>It tears through it, leaving behind half a torso and some legs, and continues effortlessly through the conga line of ghouls
>The cylinder smashes against the building across the street from your alley
>Upon impact it detonates and bursts into a sphere of cataclysmic destruction
>This gun does not require a full charge, you like this gun
>With your enemies no longer doing the whole, existing thing, you scale the scaffolding running up the side of the alley walls to the roof of the building
>A vertibird flies overhead and hovers over an open courtyard 
>You take out your conveniently appearing binoculars to get a closer view 
>In the courtyard is the alicorn from before
>Princess Luna! that’s it. She does the whole night thing and enters dreams and shit
>Didn’t Silver say something about her
>Actual weren’t you meant to be doing something for Silver?
>It’s hard to recall
>Luna however leaves you feeling worried
>Her horn glows and suddenly a screen of floating images appears before her
>Your mind suddenly feels heavily taxed and fuzzy
>Of the images visible you can make the faces of your mares, along with a few looping scenes of you on the prison cart
>They were your memories!
>What was she doing!?
>She was absolutely not allowed to see anything before your arrival to the prison
>A pair of Paladins dive from the vertibird and land near the Princess, earth shaking beneath their weight 
“THE WASTELAND WILL BE CLEANSED OF MUTANTS!”
>The screen around Luna drops and your head immediately feels clearer
>She looks to be in tears
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME! WHAT IS THIS PLACE!! GIVE US A BREAK! ANONYMOUS WE WILL GET YOU!! YOU CAN’T FIGHT FOREVER!!”
>As the two paladin's lay down gatling laser fire the mare vanishes in a poof of smoke
>Alright that’s good. Looks like she doesn’t have enough time between accessing your memories and watching them before she’s attacked by the endless dangers of the wasteland
>Although this probably isn’t the best first impression to give an alien princess
>But she was snooping around your head without permission
>It’s not like it’s your fault she was spawned in such a harsh environment
>Well it can’t be the worst first impression ever, at least you haven’t yelled in her face or anything
>Mainly because you haven’t had the chance to approach her yet
>Because once you do, princess or not, you had a few things to say about breaches of privacy 
>Back down in the courtyard you watch the two paladins get ravaged by a random death claw
>That is something you do not want the princess to meet
>Actually you don’t want her to meet anything from here, or even see any of this
>Good God what the hell must she think?
>What excuse could you have to explain this one? Aside from it’s all just a dream
>But someone doesn’t just dream up a place like this without some inspiration to draw from
>You lift your binoculars to view the court
>It’s clear
>When you take the binoculars back down you find yourself standing at the very spot you were looking at
>Man that’s disorientating!
>You sneak over to the remains of the paladins
>The only salvageable item is a single grenade
>The power armour itself had been torn to scrap
>Dang
>The glowing orb above you flashes and winks out
>Okay then
>Silence permeates the air 
>...
>k
>The silence is broken by a crack of thunder
>Far in the distance the clouds distort and warp apart, revealing a spherical black void
>What that fuck?
>You need a closer look
>Suddenly your location changes and you find yourself upon the mass fusion building
>The sphere still remains far in the distance but your view is far clearer
>Retrieving your binoculars yet again you get a closer look
>Small arcs of lightning dance along the sphere’s surface
>The orb swells slightly and spits out a small, shiny grey, silver maned, yellow eyed, bat winged pony, before vanishing from the sky
>As Silver enters your dream your mind is flooded by forgotten memories
>Why you were here, what you’d been talking to Silver about, why big horse was here
>Big horse being angry as fuck with you
>Well it was her own fault
>Silver Linings looks about confused at the sight before her
>She slowly descends to the earth and is lost from your view
>This can’t be good
>A marker appears on the compass that’s opened up in your peripheries 
>You open up your Pip-boy and check out your quests
>”Save Batpone!” is marked as active
>”Get rid of big whorse” sits neatly below
>Clearly brain does not like Luna 
>Your mind goes hazy once again before fading away
>Nor does it like her mind rape
>But your precious bat must come first
>You check your map, Silver has come down near Hubris comics
>She shows up on your map as a small bat symbol
>It slowly moves about in a circle
>She must be surveying the area before landing
>It’s good to see she’s already acting cautious
>But how do you get down from here?
>You attempt a quick travel
*QUICK TRAVEL NOT AVAILABLE IN MULTIPLAYER* 
>That sucks
>Okay well, this is your dream, and with Silver here and your memory back, you feel like now is the best time to attempt some conscious manipulation
>You close your eyes and focus intensely on the concept of ironman’s armour
>”Hrrrng!, come on baby!”
>You feel a pressure building in your mind
>Far more soothing than that of Luna’s mind rape 
>The pressure fades away and you open your eyes
>*Sigh*
>It’s not super armour, but hey it'll do
>Before you is a hang glider and and a pair of Freefall legs
>You nod to yourself
>”I can make this work”
>You strap on the legs and sprint off the balcony with the glider
>The wind rushes past you as you sail through the air
>You feel some force holding your back onto the glider
>With that in mind you take your hands away and check your Pip-boy
>The bat marker has entered Hubris comics
>Clearly the familiarity of comics appeals to her sense of safety
>Wrong move little pony
>The marker reappears out the front of the shop
>It holds a moment before darting away at a speed only possible of a terrified pony
>The marker is drifting towards Trinity Tower
>That is not the best place to go 
>You lean over and adjust your direction to cut ahead of the fleeing pony
>The city below races by as you soar along the invisible air currents
>As you gain upon the maker you scan the ground for your pony
>A burst of motion several blocks down the street you’re sailing over grabs your attention
>From a side street erupts your little batpone furious flapping her wings; a small horde of Ghouls tailing behind her 
>You know tears are running down her cheeks
>There’s gunna have to be so hugs later
>A ghoul gains a burst of speed and dives for your flying mare
>She corkscrews away from the assault
>”Keep it up Silver! I’m coming!”
>There’s no way she could hear you over the wind but it reassures you anyway
>You look down the street
>Near the end are several crude fortification with raiders patrolling about
>For fuck sake there’s a raider base too!
>About half a block ahead of the base is a polkowski safety shelter
>A plan crystallizes in your mind
>Silver has also noticed the raider fortifications and has poured on the speed, likely believing they contained safety, and not meat carving psychopaths
>Your approach to her slows as she speeds up and leaves the ghouls in the dust
>At this rate she’ll reach the raiders before you catch her
>You will yourself to move faster but fail to increase speed
>You’re not going to make it!
>Fuck, fuck fuck!
>Silver has gotten close enough to attract the attention of the raiders, one of whom has raised their rifle to the fleeing mare
>You take a deep breath and focus
>A soft pressure builds in your head once again
>It fades and you look back to Silver
>She let's out an ear piercing bat screech of surprise as she falls directly into your newly opened portal to re-emerges in front of the shelter 
>Now you thinkin’ wit’ portals
>And you gettin’ the hang of dreaming now
>The horde of ghouls following her continues onwards to the raiders
>However a few stragglers have taken notice of the magically appearing bat horse behind them and are charging back towards her
>Silver see’s them coming and goes to flee once more
>Before she begins her gallop you dive off the hang glider and plummet to the earth between her and the ghouls
>As you descend to the ground you focus once again, eager to try out some more dream manipulation
>You’ve always wanted to try this
>The pressure fades and you open your eyes
>You now fall to the earth at a far greater speed with your new set of aegis terminator armour
>(Pic related for non 40kfags-but not for you pastebin)
>You crash into the earth creating a small crater, sending out shockwaves with the force at which you slam the ground, stumbling the approaching Ghouls
>You quickly turn to the now shaking and cowering pony
>You gently collect her up in your massive gauntlet and place her into the shelter
>”You’ll be safe in her Silver, just don’t leave”
>She looks up at you with terror in her eyes
“A-anon?”
>You close the door and seal her in
>Talk was for later 
>Gun fire echoes along the street as the larger group of ghouls reaches the raiders
>That’ll keep them occupied while you deal with these stragglers
>A massive warhammer materialises in your hand as you slam down dat Jet
>Time appears to slow as you start up a thunderous charge towards the ghouls
>The ground shakes from each of you steps
>Sprinting directly into the first oncoming ghoul it finds itself being torn apart from the shear force behind your charge
>You spy a ghoul diving from a car toward you
>In your jet enhanced state you bring down your hammer upon the ghouls skull with a sickening thud as it flies toward you mid air
>The ghouls body crumples to the ground, gruesome mush the only hint that it ever had a head
>The sound of hooves bashing at the metal door behind you starts up
>”In a second sweetie”
>Two ghouls remain
>One begins to flee, the other charges at you
>You toss your battlehammer at tremendous speed towards the retreating ghoul
>The hammer passes through it’s body, veritably turning it inside out
>One to go
>Once the charging ghoul is within your reach you grab it either side of the chest and begin to squeeze
>The monster struggles but it doesn’t take long before your grip crushes the life out of it
>The ghoul goes still and you toss it’s corpse
>You hear the shouts of the raiders
>It looks like they’ve dealt with their own ghoul problem and have decided to work on the issue of your existence
>Several raiders run back and forth between their fortifications and rubble, firing off multiple potshots
>A few bullets strike your armour and ricochet away
>Now you’ve just gotta deal with these dicks
>You lean down to pick up the headless body below you
>A viscous black goop leaks from its neck stump
>Lining up the shot you throw the body at a small cluster of raiders stupid enough to stand outside their defences
>Assisted by your power armour the body barrels down the street at an incredible velocity
>It plows into the group and releases its tremendous kinetic energy
>The raiders are flung to the ground
>They don’t get back up
>Your head becomes hazy and your vision blurs as Luna once again tries to violate your mind
>You fall to your knees and clutch at your head 
>Your armour drifts away as a puff of grey smoke but your mind clears and returns to you control of your body
>That hail of bullets coming your way is suddenly a lot more threatening
>You pull out the grenade you’d scavenged earlier and toss it down toward the raiders
>It lands neatly beside the fusion engine block of a ruined car
>You desperately crawl your way to the shelter containing Silver amidst the spray of lead thudding into the earth around you
>You flop yourself in next to your little pony and seal the door behind you
>You lay awkwardly in the small cylindrical room legs and head scrunched against the walls 
>The light above flickers badly leaving the room poorly lit
>Silver dives onto your stomach and looks up teary eyed
>She speaks in a squeaky voice
“Nonny it was you! You saved me! Where are we? Is this a human city? It’s so big! But why is everything wrecked? And what’s wrong with those other humans? Why are they attacking us!? It’s like the Everfree forest but a million times worse!”
>The room shakes about as the air is filled with the deafening roar of the car’s fusion core exploding
>It’s followed by a secession of several other roars as nearby cars go up in a chain reaction of nuclear fury
“EEEEE-E-EEE-EEEEEEEEEE~!!
>You put your arms tightly around the distressed pony and ride out the furious shaking
>The roars fade away in the breeze, leaving nothing but silence
“WHAT WAS THAT!?!”
>You un-alive-ing a few things
>You boop the pony’s muzzle and she scrunches up 
>”Save Batepone!” Comes up in your vision as complete
>”Calm down silly. That was me. I was just getting rid of the bad guys”
>Your mind becomes taxed
>”Hnng”
“Are you okay Nonny?”
>You shake your head clear
>Your mind must be getting better at repelling Luna’s assault because the hazy moments were getting shorter and shorter
>”I’ll be fine, now I guess you had some questions?”
>You will away Silvers tears
“Where are we?”
>”This is the human city of Boston, well not actually, this is just a fake one, it’s bigger and not as destroyed looking in real life. This one was just made for a game, you know, for fun”
“How is a ruined city fun!?”
>”Like I told you before dinner, destruction /is/ fun!... To humans at least”
>Silver shakes her head
“W-well why is everything trying to hurt us? That’s not fun. I had to actually /hit/ one of those ugly humans I met in the comics store. His paw fell off but he didn’t seem to mind”
>Silver looks confused
“Humans can’t grow limbs back can they?”
>”No but... I’m sorry about everything attacking us, I didn’t know this is what I’d dream about, but trust me when I say where I come from is nothing like this”
>She shakes her head in disbelief
“But where does your mind draw upon to create all this? These terrible things!”
>”Ugh, you wouldn’t understand, and I don’t know how to explain it with such a large cultural gap between our species. Just try to think of it as an imaginary place that humans can visit to do dangerous things without getting hurt”
“I can… kinda work with that, like a big shared dream space. Now then... Can we get out of here? Can’t you turn this place into a sunny meadow? Or a land made of soft pillows and cuddles?”
>”I like that idea… But I don’t know how to change what I’m dreaming about”
>She puts a hoof to your forehead
“You just need to focus, believe you’re where you want to be”
>You close your eyes and try to block out your surroundings, focusing solely on the thought of a meadow made of cushions
>You can feel the world rippling around you
>It’s working! It’s working!
“By the way Nonny, where is Luna?”
>As if on cue your mind fuzzes and your focus is lost
>You feel the ripple of change peter out
>The dream remains a torturous wasteland
>”I’m about to find out
>You mark “Get rid of big whorse” as active and check your map
>A moon symbol sits at the Corvega assembly plant
>It blinks away and re-appears in the glowing sea
>As quickly as it pops up there it’s gone again
>The symbol jumps around the map from place to place
>Every so often it would stay for a moment and the fuzz would arise in your brain 
>But those moments never lasted long
>”The bitch is all over the damn place”
>A small hoof whacks across your cheek
>But the strike is so light the only reason you were aware of it was because you saw the damn thing coming
“You cannot speak about The Princess that way! Even in a dream!
>Silver’s look of anger turns to horror as she stares at her hoof
“I-I’m so sorry Nonny, I didn’t mean to hit you, I’d never want to harm you… Please, PLEASE don’t kick me out of your herd. Things are just stressful here”
>You gently pet her head
>”I’m the one who’s sorry, it’s my fault we’re at a place like this… And Silver, I would never, ever make you leave my herd, no matter what you do”
>She smiles her adorable grin, flashing her little bat teeth
>Pointy
“How’d I get so lucky to find a stallion like you?”
>Her face becomes serious once again
“But seriously though don’t talk about the princess like that, she’s important to me and I need her to like you!”
>”Hehe… That may be a problem”
>Silver looks at you like a disapproving mother
“Nonny, what did you do? As if having her in a place like this isn’t bad enough!”
>”You know how I had a nap before”
>She nods
>”Well, Luna kinda joined me. She must have thought that was when she was meant to join”
“But I hadn’t told you about the dreaming thing until after your nap... That couldn’t have been good”
>”Yeah I know, because of that I was confused and then there was some sort of miscommunication and so now... she kinda thinks I’m evil and trying to corrupt you or something”
>Silver face hoofs
“Maybe I wasn’t so lucky finding you Anonymous”
“And why only tell me this now!”
>”I couldn’t remember it before I’ve never been good at recalling dreams”
“Well then all we have to do is get to her and then together we can explain that this whole thing has all just been a silly mistake”
>”I admire your optimism Silver, but your princess just doesn’t like me, not to mention she’s trying to steal my memories, and call me crazy but I kinda don’t like that, so I’m not quite in the best of moods for talking things through”
>Luna is going to need a very serious talking too/forceful removal from your head
“Just try to be civil Nonny, I know you’re not the best behaved inmate”
>You nod
>God damn…. fine
>For her, you would try to be nice, violence is never the answer as they say
>Except for just a few moments ago
>A thunderous beating vibrates through the shelters wall
>WHAT THE FUCK!
>You check the map
>The moon is right on top of you
“SILVER LININGS! Are you in there? It is I your princess! I require your help and a safe place. I am to assume this pedestrian washroom is a worthy defensible position”
>Well you don’t need to search for moonbutt anymore
“Princess, yes it’s me!”
>The princess replies from outside
“Silver, please allow us to join you, t’is most unpleasant out here”
>She jumps up from you and tries to open the door
“Anon help me with this, how does it open?”
>Still laying down you use a foot to side the door across
>The murky sunlight streams in, blinding you a moment, but not deafening you to Luna’s gasp 
>Silver dives out to stand beside the large pony giving a hoof salute
“Initiate Silver Linings reporting for duty Princess”
>Luna doesn’t respond, she only watches intently as you stand up
>Okay, gotta be civil, gotta be nice, gotta do what Silver says
>Her eyes narrow
“How could you fraternize with such a beast Silver, even after witnessing this world around you?”
>”Hey! Wait a sec-
“DID I SPEAK TO YOU!”
>You cringe back 
>Silver speaks out
“Princess PLEASE, it’s not what you think, Nonny’s a good guy, he just made a mistake”
>”Yeah, I’m a pretty goo-
“WILL YOU BE QUIET! YOU intrude upon a PRIVATE CONVERSATION!”
>wat?
>”But this is my head!”
>Luna snorts, expelling a grey fog
>It surrounds you 
>Everything goes black
>...
>...
>...
***CATASTROPHIC SYSTEM FAILURE DETECTED***
***RUN PERCEPTUAL SYSTEM DIAGNOSTICS***
***AUDITORY SYSTEMS...OFFLINE***
***VISUAL SYSTEMS...OFFLINE***
***TACTILE SYSTEMS...OFFLINE***
***KINESTHETIC SYSTEMS...OFFLINE***
***DIAGNOSTICS CANCELED***

***RUN COGNITIVE DIAGNOSTICS***
***HIGHER COGNITION...OFFLINE***
***HEMISPHERE CONNECTION...ONLINE***
***ACTION POTENTIAL...ONLINE***
***HOMEOSTATIC SYSTEMS...ONLINE***
***MEMORY SYSTEMS...ERROR***
***MEMORY SYSTEMS CORRUPT***
***SCAN FOR ERRORS...Y/N?***
***Y***
***SCANNING***
***SCAN COMPLETE. NO ERRORS DETECTED***
***EXPLORE ADDITIONAL OPTIONS...Y/N***
***Y-
***ALERT*** ***ALERT***
***UNSANCTIONED ACTION POTENTIAL IN MEMORY CORE***
***QUARANTINE RECOMMENDED...Y/N?***
***Y***
***QUARANTINE SUCCESSFUL***
***CONTINUE DIAGNOSTICS...Y/N?***
***N***
***INITIAL SYSTEM REBOOT...Y/N?***
***Y***
***SYSTEM REBOOTING***
***HIGHER COGNITION...ONLINE***
>OH god you can’t even
***AUDITORY SYSTEMS...ONLINE***
>The sounds of the world rush back to you
“WHAT NOW?! HOW DOES HE REPEL ME! WHAT SECRETS MUST BE HIDDEN SO ANONYMOUS!”
“Princess, please listen! He didn’t mean to call you a whores, he doesn’t know anything about Equestria!”
***KINESTHETIC SYSTEMS...ONLINE***
>You’re suddenly aware of your own body once more
“This isn’t about that Silver, it’s for the good of Equestria, if you can’t see that he clearly has a spell of corruption over you”
***TACTILE SYSTEMS...ONLINE***
>You can feel your face pushed against the rough road
“I do NOT! Test me for one!”
>You can hear a warping noise as Luna casts a spell
>She grunts in confusion, clearly not getting the result she expected
“See Princess, no spells on me!”
“Then he has tricked you somehow. You must come back with us to the castle. We can not allow you to remain under this one's influence. Just look at the monstrous world he has created around you, nothing sane could produce such things”
“You’re not listening to me Princess! It isn’t real”
“Real or not it’s too barbaric for just one creature to form by happenstance. He must be keeping a secret about the inspiration for this torture”
>You hear Silver sigh
“You may be right Princess, but I’ve been thinking about it. Anonymous /is/ a carnivore, and everypony knows what their societies are like, Anon’s is just a little more /extreme/ I think”
“I am well aware of carnivore culture, but this is beyond the pale, and all the more reason to bring you back. Silver you have merely witnessed but a taste of what this realm has to offer, Anonymous is a danger to our kingdom”
>You hear Silver stammer
“A-a what?”
***VISUAL SYSTEMS...ONLINE***
***ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE***
***INITIATE CONSCIOUSNESS...Y/N?***
***Y***
>Your vision returns as does all control over your body
>You’re looking down at the ground, a small chunk of ghoul flesh beside you
>”ugh, my head..”
>The two mare’s above you go silent
“...impossible... he’s awoken”
>You clamber back up 
>Silver looks happy that you’re back up but it’s apparent she’d also been crying
>Luna just glares
>”That wasn’t very nice for a princess. I though only queens were evil”
>Her cheek twitches, your recovery has unsettled her
>”I was planning to be civil for Silver’s sake. I was willing to put up with the mind rape”
>Both mares gasp at your language
“Fuck, even the sucker punch just then, I can deal with”
>You rub your temples, your mind feeling, for the first time in your dream, truly clear
>”But what I’m not going to put up with is you ignoring Silver Linings’ feelings and I will absolutely not tolerate you trying to take her from me. As a mare of my herd it’s my duty to look out for her interests and to protect her”
>Silver looks at you lovingly
>Luna is less than impressed
“Silver Linings, you formed a herd with this beast?”
>She looks away from Luna’s intensive stare
“Y-yes your majesty, I did”
“How could you do something so foalish!?”
>Silver starts to cry
>It’s pitiful
>Not Silver’s crying, but Luna; why was she being so cruel? What had you really done aside from swear and yell a little?
>Well she can yell and scream at you all she want’s but you won’t let Silver get caught up in it
>You pick up your mare and hold her close
>Softly you stroke her back to console her
>Luna clearly does not approve
“How dare you human-
>”HEY!”
>”Look here miss ‘princess of the night’! You mean the world to Silver, and all she wants to do is help and serve you, and those around her. Don’t take your weird anger toward me out on her. Apologies right now, or I’ll make you!”
>You harden your face into a mask of unyielding anger
>“By force if I have to”
>The princess stammers at a loss for words
“Y-you dare challenge us? In a dream? Our domain?”
>”Yeah I guess I am”
>She laughs mockingly
“We’re going to enjoy this Anonymous”
>Silver looks up from your arms
“Nonny please don’t!”
>You turn and put the bat back into the shelter
>”Don’t worry Silver, it’ll be fine, trust me”
“...okay”
>God you hope it’ll turn out fine
>You seal your mare away
>”Alright Princess, it’s time for a lesson in humility” 
>Before you’ve even fully turned to face her there’s a flash of light from her horn and you find yourself flying up into the air at breakneck speed
>The city dwindles away as you rocket into the clouds
>Things get hella foggy, hella fast
>You reach the apex of your flight and feel your body begin to fall
>You focus and re-equip your power armour
>Seconds later you’re smashed back onto the earth
>You lay stunned a moment
>Thank god this was a dream or you would be an unidentifiable soup right now, even in the armour
>This pony clearly doesn’t like you very much
>You look up and groan, slowly shambling to your feet
>As you do your armour falls away, damaged beyond repair
>Luna looks at you with anger and… maybe fear
>No, no just anger
>A series of electrical bolts erupt from Luna’s horn setting your body alight with tingles and spasming your muscles
>It wasn’t really painful, just uncomfortable
>After the barrage you straighten out your smoking body, perfectly okay
>She still mad tho
>The skies above thunder and flash with a building storm
>Several massive lightning bolts strike near you, the heat from them singeing your skin
>The sky is rent apart as a final mighty bolt strikes you directly
>You spasm wildly and fall to the ground
>Which has turned to some glassy substance
>You yourself no longer have hair, all of it having burnt off
>And yet by the time you’ve shaken yourself off and gotten back up it’s regrown itself
>That didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as you thought it was going to
>Wait a sec… It really is just a dream tho, isn’t it?
>Which means you can’t really be hurt, or feel any tremendous amount of pain… So then how do you win this fight?
“Will you just STAY DOWN!”
>You slowly walk towards Luna who backs up 
>Her horn lights up again
>You desperately claw at your throat while struggling for breath, all the air from your lungs having vanished
>Luna watches smugly as you fall to your knees
“Yield Anonymous”
>To her absolute bewilderment you begin to laugh
>Lol, you don’t actually need to breath, like you said, it’s a dream
>Wordlessly you approach the Princess once again
>Luna looks like she’s about to wet herself, what with you so nonchalantly dismissing her attacks
>If she’s showing fear it clearly means she’s yet to come to the same realisation as you
>Maybe you are actually the first person she’s ever fought with, in a dream at least
>You give her a smile and a little wave
“You show considerable sangfroid for somepony doomed”
>”Yeah? You too”
>Man that pissed her off 
“Your arrogance will be punished human”
>Her horn glows again as blobs of the night sky are draw from the ground
>They swirl around the princess until she’s covered in a sphere of night
>It bursts away to revel Princess Luna: super saiyan form
>She’s grown even bigger (somehow), has equipped herself with armour, and her coats now black
>Shit
“I am in charge!”
>She laughs manically, revealing a set of razor sharp teeth
>Jeez talk about overkill on intimidation 
>She’s like something from a nightmare
>Her horn lights up with a black aura, out of which shoots a blast of black/green light
>As it moves towards you her horn flashes and the black shadow once surrounding it is replaced by a red glow
>She can only watch in mesmerised horror as the blast curves up and away from you, finding itself drawn back to her red glowing horn
>Luna strikes her horn against the ground in a desperate attempt to stop the spell
>On her second attempt the red glow around her horn disappears
>It’s far too late though, as the eerie light crashes into the princess 
>She’s briefly obscured by the resulting flash
>Your eyes refocuse to the dimness of regular daylight as it fades away to reveal a shocking scene
>Luna is no longer large and in charge
>In fact she’s smaller than you’d ever seen her
>And her coat was a light blue, and she had actual hair, no more space mane
>”Do you feel in charge?”
>The much smaller Luna looks furious with your smug comment
>You draw your purple energy weapon and move slightly closer
>full charge not required
>It’s time to end this
“YOU CANNO-
>You pull the trigger
>No charge required actually
>A small mist of purple comes out and wafts over the princess’ face, like that of spray bottle
>Her muzzle scrunches up and she blinks a few times
“YOU-
>You pull the trigger again
>Her muzzle scrunches and she sticks her tongue out
“Y-
>You do it again
>Same adorable scrunch with a flickering ear
>She goes to open her muzzle but you spray her again preemptively
>You continue squirting the alicorn 
>She tries to back away from you but every time you spray she stops moving to scrunch her face
>You had a feeling this would work, they were just like dogs, but more adorable
>You continue spraying the princess until she cowers down to cover her muzzle with her hooves
“We yield Anonymous! Stop it we yield! You have bested us!”
>That’s how you win a dream fight
>You spray again, cuz why not
“ACK! We apologies Anonymous, Silver Linings. She may remain at the prison, please just stop squirting us. You may take Equestria if you wish, but you must first defeat my sister”
>”Take Equestria? What the fu-? Look I have no idea what you’re talking about! I just wanna know why you’re so angry, you blew this whole thing way out of proportion and over-stepped your rights by looking at my memories”
>She doesn’t say anything for a while, glancing away in shame
“/Trying/ to look, we could never get far before your mind repelled us, besides we had too! We believed you a threat to our country and our personal guard”
“We couldn’t let you corrupt such an innocent pony or our lands”
>You spray her again for the shits and gigs
“Would you stop!”
>”How could you possibly think I’m a danger to all of Equestria?”
“How could we not? A strange creature of unknown origin and power arrives, is immediately arrested and branded a /red/ suit, who then befriends a pony who could give them direct access to a princess, who when they first met they vigorously insult!”
>She looks at you suspiciously from the ground
“You sound nothing more than a stereotypical super villain trying to take over Equestria, just another unreformed Discord”
>Hmm, well from her point of view that makes sense, except for whatever unreformed discord was
>How could you even get reformed discord to begin with?
>It must be a pain having to ensure the safety of an entire nation when there’s such a thing as magic and super villains
>She continues as you reflect on your thoughts
“Not to mention this world you have conjured up. It’s monstrous, Silver say’s it’s not real and that such a place exists only for human entertainment, even if that were true you still must be evil”
>”I don’t know what to say. I’m not evil, not a supervillain? How can I prove that to you? I don’t want to fight”
>She stares solemnly at you
“You must show us that you trust us”
>Classic
>”Alright, how do I do that?”
“Even if this place isn’t real it’s ideas must have come from somewhere”
>You nod
“We wish to see the origins or your dark thoughts, so as to truly see your potential danger”
>You groan
>That might be a problem
>And even if you did let her see, what memories would actually be brought up that pertain to Fallout 4’s Boston?
>”And what if you don’t like what you see?”
“We will honour the trust you have given to us, you will be allowed to roam the land freely, but you will have to endure constant pegasus surveillance”
>”And Silver still gets to stay?”
“Of course, of all the things you’re trying to prove tonight, your love for our guard is one you have made apparent, no pony has ever challenged me, to do so would’ve been considered... foolhardy”
“That you would do so for somepony else show’s you truly care for them, evil or not”
>You can deal with some bird pones if she doesn’t like what she sees, so long as Silver stays with you
“Will you let us in?”
>”Alright... do it”
>With both parties willing Luna has no difficulty accessing your memories
>Her eyes becomes glazed as she enters a memory
>As you look at her you feel yourself being drawn in
>Before you know it you’re along for the ride with Luna, scouting out your mind
>You find yourself in an unfamiliar city beside large horse butt
>Although far more confusing was the fact everything was in black and white
>There’s a low rumble coming from the skies
>You hear Luna gasp in shock
“This is not our sister’s sky… Anonymous the human, are you a child of the stars?”
>”If by that you mean alien then yeah”
>She’s flabbergasted
>While Luna stammers away you locate the source of the rumbling noise
>It was a plane
>Wait a sec
>Your vision suddenly telescopes to the plane, to the name inscribed on the side
>Enola gay
>You’re in Hiroshima
>This is what brain came up with! What the fuck man!
>The sky flashes with nuclear hellfire
>The shock wave radiates out, in it’s wake the city falls
>The blast rolls over the two of you to no effect, your surroundings however get blasted away
>Your vision is obscured by blinding light and voluminous dust clouds
>The shock wave retreats back, drawing the dust with it as the great mushroom grows in the sky 
>The city, flattened, population, drastically reduced 
>You hear the sound of a Princess Pony puking behind you at the horror’s of man
>The memory stops and everything freezes in place
>You turn around to the Princess
>She’s not looking to good
“We are truly sorry for the horrors of your world Anonymous, but this simply shows your species, your world, is capable of pure evil, I’m afraid we must keep you under surveillance as a safety measure for all ponykind”
>Honestly you didn’t know what you expected
>An outcome where she didn’t think of you as a freak? or crazy? or evil? Fat chance
>But maybe you could shift things to your favour 
>”Princess Luna wait, what you see here is ancient human history. It all occurred well before I was even born! You can’t just look at the worst humanity has to offer then make a lump assumption about us all”
>Luna looks at you incredulously
>”Here, let me show you”
>The memory you reside in alters as you change your focus to humanity's better qualities 
>The world around you flashes to show humanity's achievements, sprawling metropolises with towering buildings, great works of art, music, and literature, scientific discovery and advancements
>As you do so you attempt to funnel with the memories all your understanding of the subjects, as to help Luna deal with what she was witnessing
>She looks starry eyed with amazement 
>But you’ve saved the best to last
>You can only guess by the moon on her butt and the whole praise the night thing that mankind landing on the goddamn moon would give her a massive hard on for humanity
>And hopefully get you out of constant pony watch
>You start off with the wright brothers first flight then move through the phenomenally swift advancements in human aviation
>The development of rocket technology, the space race, man reaching orbit, the moon landing, and the current ISS
“You may stop Anonymous”
>You look at the mare
>Tears glisten on her cheeks
“You’re species may not be as bad as we once thought”
>She comes at you with a look of pure adoration
“You broke free of your own planet just to touch the surface of the moon, t’is unbelievable, had we not just seen it with our own eyes. We find it most pleasing to our sensibilities”
>”Soooo… What’s your plan for me?”
>You might have pulled this off, hot damn if you were trying to take over you could have even swayed Luna to your side
>She closes her eyes and disappears
>Okay maybe not then
>... Now what?
>Suddenly you find yourself back in Boston
>Beside you is Luna and behind you is Silver’s shelter
“We see now that, despite your capability and willingness for great atrocities, your people have performed feats of wonder, and honour, far beyond anything we thought possible”
“We cannot say for certain that you will not become a threat to Equestria, but neither can we renege on our deal” 
“You may live your life unsupervised, I will however be keeping a closer eye on you from now on”
>Suddenly she shifts back into her normal form of space hair and medium size
>A sly smile creeps onto her muzzle
“Also as a precautionary measure it is our decision to elevate you to black suit status”
>She giggles to herself, clearly loving the petty victory over you
>Well let’s just take that right back from her 
>”Sweet, Black goes better with my complexion anyway, plus it’ll give me more street cred”
>Luna’s infuriated with your lack of fucks
>”Lol, you mad bro? Why u mad tho?”
>The mask of anger cracks and she lowers her head in defeat
>Aww poor pony
>You rub around the back of her ears and head
>Next you start quickly stroking up and down her slender neck
>For the first time she smiles
>She let’s out a giddy giggle at your ear scratching
“/Now/ we see how you could sway one of our guards to fight so feverantly for you”
>The Princess begins mewling under your vigorous patting
“You know we could give you a royal pardon if you choose to work as our personal masseuse, your evil nature can be forgiven”
>A tempting offer, it would mean you could finally explore this world and it’s unbelievable wonders
>But there ain’t no way you could leave any of your mares behind
>”I’ll have to get back to you on that, and princess, I’m sorry for everything that’s happened”
>You retract your hand and go to retrieve Silver from the shelter 
>Opening the door you see the bat mare sitting patiently for you
>She extends out her forelegs for you to pick her up
>”Lazy bat”
>When you lift her up she looks at you apprehensively 
>”Don’t worry Silver, I was civil”
“S-so is everything going to be alright”
>You nod and she hugs you closely with her wings
>Luna gets both your attentions by clearing her throat
“We are sorry for what we have said Silver, you may court this male if you please… he truly is a... remarkable beast, we simply urge caution”
>Did she have to call you a beast?
>Silver gives a little bow from your grasp
“Thank you princess, it is an honour to serve you”
>Luna closes her eyes and slowly nods
>Silver cranes her head up to you and smooches you right on the cheek
>Luna’s slow nod becomes an awkward shuffling with a growing blush 
“Uuuh, we should leave. Anonymous, we would like to learn more of your kind some time”
>Before either of you can say your goodbyes she fades away in a puff of smoke and awkward blushes
>Silver looks up to you
“You stood up to a pony akin to a god, just for me? You really are something Nonny”
>She was akin to a god? Wow you should be in a lot more trouble for what you did than you actually are
>Silver looks about at the hellish world
>You can pick up on the sounds of gunfire mixed with super mutant screams
>The sky turns green once again as nuclear fallout falls to the earth
“Can we leave this place now please? It’s making me sick”
>The mare hides away in your chest to avoid looking at the gore
>”I’d want nothing more than to leave”
>Well actually you were having a great time, but this isn’t the best place for little ponies
>With your mind unburdened it takes nothing more than a thought to change the entire word
>Your location is one of endless comfort
>Vast plains and meadows of cushions spring forth, complete with cushion trees and a sunny cushion sky
>You’re also dressed like hugh hefner, crimson robe and all
>It’s all extraordinarily soft and smooth
>Just like your mares
>This is good, it’s time for a change of pace, this is what a dream land should be 
>Batpone looks around in awe at the new and strange surroundings 
>You hold her close as you fall down and sink into the soft floor
>Silver shrieks with delight as you do
“Eee~! Heheee~”
>She wriggles up your chest and snuggles closely to you 
“This is more like it!”
>”Haha, yeah I figured you deserve a break”
>To Silver’s dismay you lift her off you and put her to your side
>You roll over and get on all fours
>Silver looks at you confused until you flip the mare over exposing her firm little belly
>You crawl closer to lean over her
>Lifting one hand you plop it down onto her soft feature
>Silver looks at your hand on her stomach and a sly smile creeps onto her muzzle
“Is that what you figured Nonny? A break? Or did you think if you took me to a place like this I’d let you get… get /lewd/ with me?”
>Bellies are for lewd, you keep forgetting that 
>She blushes but maintains that sly smile
“Well maybe I’ll let you… But you need to earn it!”
>”Earn it? How?”
“Like this!”
>Both her wings scoop up some ground pillows and throw them up at you
>She gallops off giggling all the way down the pillow hill you’d appeared upon
>So that’s how it is then
>You pick up a nearby pillow and sprint full pelt after the squealing bat
>With you massive strides it doesn’t take long to catch up
>Just before you toss your pillow at Silvers rump she dives upwards
>Your pillow misses as she flips in the air, revealing a pillow grasped in her muzzle
>Using the momentum of her rotation she flings it into your face as she flips back upright, landing back on the soft ground
>You stumble, vision obscured, and fall to the earth
>You can feel the smug mare land on you and begin bouncing triumphantly 
“As The Princess would say ‘We have slain the beast!’”
>”Damn, why are you so good at this” 
“Like I said Anon, I’ve seen a lot of pillow fights in my day”
>With that she dives off and continues running
>That pony was going to get it now
>You clamber up and go for a different tactic
>You think of a blanket lake
>It appears beside you
>From it you pull a blanket with a foaming wave pattern
>You begin the chase anew
>Silver may be a quick little pony but with the help of a couple pillow walls erupting from the earth to block her off you soon catch up
>You finally reach her, backed up into a corner
>You keep your blanket hidden behind your back
“Hehe, you think you’ve got me?”
>”Let's find out”
>She dives into the air and extends her wings to take flight
>At that moment you fling forth you blanket, which catches the mare and bundles her up
>She falls to the ground and tries to struggle out from your trap
>It’s too late to escape as you dive to the ground beside her, grab her in your arms and roll and tumble around as she squeals playfully
>After an adorable struggle Silver ends on her back with your hand on her belly, as you had started before
>Already she’s started blushing
“The big dangerous carnivore caught me, what are you going to do to me?”
>She didn’t have to add any innocence to her voice, she naturally had enough
>You stroke her exposed underside 
>Mmm, yeah that soft pony belly
>She squirms slightly under you touch
“ah~haah!”
>Silver looks up at you with tremendous embarrassment as you rub tenderly along her stomach and up through her growing chest fluff
>You look her dead in the eyes
>She eventually breaks contact, too embarrassed to look at you anymore 
“Eee-ah~! Nonny, how can you be so brazen and compos~ah~!”
>Silver scrunches her muzzle and raises her forelegs to hide her face
>Your relentless belly pampering is proving too much for her to handle
>You feel a tickling around your knees and discover Silver’s flowing tail happily swishing back and forth, lightly passing over the front of your legs
>That was just begging for a tug
>Leaning on your belly rubbing arm’s elbow for stability you lift up your free hand and wrap it around Silvers flicking tail
>The mare feels this and looks up at you with shock
“What are you doing Non-nyah~!”
>She’s incapable of finishing her sentence as you lightly tug on her tail
>”What an adorable sound!”
“Nonny plea-
>You tug again
“Nyah~ah!”
>Her little hooves wave about and her rear legs twitch
>Oh gosh, she’s too cute!
>Another tug
>This time she just meeps quietly as her cheeks turn a shade of the brightest possible red
>She absolutely refuses to look at you, hiding her face as much as possible
>”Are you alright Silver?”
>She hurriedly nods from behind her hooves
>You feel a sticky dampness building up on your stomach
>What is that?
>You take a look but see nothing 
>Odd?
>Silver remains trying to hide from you
>You feel a wriggling sensation on your stomach coming from the lump of pressure you’d had on your chest since you’d started dreaming
>It was rather like a small pony was restlessly laying on you
>Actually… You focus on the sensation, feeling the contours of the pressure upon you, the texture and size of the feeling
>Yep it was a pony, you could feel a pony sleeping on you back in the real world
>A pony with soft bat wings
>You feel the slowly growing moist patch on your stomach
>Wait, that means…
>Well that explains Silver’s embarrassment 
>Tugging pony tails is for lewd purposes
>”Oh dear, I’m so sorry Silver”
>You wrap an arm around the mortified pony, flop over and spoon with her on the cushioned ground
“I-it’s quite alright Anonymous... Now I know what was up with Shear... just give a mare /some/ warning before you go and do something like /that/!”
>Pressed against you, and wearing such an alluring shade of red on her cheeks you find it impossible to resist teasing the little pony
>Your hand finds itself on her rump
>”Something like this?”
>You slip your fingers under her tail onto her dock
>Silver quietly gasps
>You lightly squeeze 
>She let’s out a long squeaky moan
“YE-yes! Something like that!”
>”You know you’re a real cutie when you squeak like that”
“I am NOT cute inmate! I am a guard and a watcher of th-
>You squeeze her dock again
“Eee~!!”
>God this /is/ lewd
>Silver’s adorable squirming and whines had you pitching a fierce tent
>And she was most definitely good to go
>Were you going to fuck this pony?


>Be Silver
>Nonny saved you and himself from Luna’s wrath and the horrific land’s he’d dreamed up
>You had felt over joyed!
>But... perhaps it was better in that tatarus ridden place than you thought
>Reason being Nonny wasn’t teasing you so mercilessly back there
>At first it wasn’t so bad
>Just a little belly rubbing
>But then Nonny had been looming over you, so dangerous looking, so strong
>You had to distance yourself less you do anything awkward
>But that hadn’t worked. Anon was craftier than you thought and had caught you in a blanket
>So then it was back to rubbing
>And with Nonny looking straight into your eyes it could not have been more embarrassing
>How could he touch you like that and stay so calm?
>Stupid sexy Anon
>And then the naughty human pulled on your tail!
>To your shock it felt good, really good, naughty pony good
>Oh goodness, you didn’t know you were one of those weird ponies that liked getting their tails pulled!
>You tried to get him to stop, you tried saying something, but he was relentless
>Again and again he did it, surely he knew what he was doing
>It was a miracle you’d held out as long as you had but after Nonny’s third tug you could feel your unconscious body let go
>If you weren’t already asleep you would have fainted from embarrassment
>You’d just covered your stallion in your… your, egh-erm…
>Oh my, you can’t even think about it!
>And yet Nonny didn’t seem to care! 
>He just apologies to you steps up his lewdness!
>His paws grip around your dock and he keeps squeezing
>You’re defenceless against his assault
>Each squeeze sends shivers of pleasure directly up your spine, forcing you to give off involuntary squeaks 
>He’s so naughty, your squeals only seem to egg him on to tease you more
>You can feel your unconscious body rolling around on Anon, trying find purchase to grind against 
>”Nonny h-how~oh! Could yo~u do this?”
>His paw disappears
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll stop if you want”
>WHAT!
>”No, no, please don’t!”
“Hehe, if you insist”
>He continues pulling and stroking on your tail and dock
>Oh by the stars why does it feel so nice
>Nonny’s other paw comes down to rub your belly
>”oh~! Nonny”
>Your marehood ignites as you’re overcome by pleasure
>A distinct wetness runs down your inner thigh, both in the dream and the real world
>If Nonny hadn’t noticed it earlier he would now
>He leans over and whispers into your ear
“You naughty mare”
>Ooh, your body feels weak
>He nibbles lightly on your ear
>This is what dreams were made for
>Well so long as you’re dreaming you may as well do something stupid
>”Nonny, please stop”
>Immediately he retracts his paws
“Okay then”
>He sounds disappointed
>You feel disappointed, but it's for the greater good, your greater good!
>You roll onto your stomach and extend out your leathery wings
>The act itself has them stiffening up
>”Rub them Nonny! I want to feel your paws on my wings”
>Nonny’s disappointment fades with a smile
“Anything for such a naughty pony”
>He rolls over and straddles you between his legs
>Each wing earns itself a paw
>A paw that slowly traces along your wing’s contours
>Occasionally he would pinch the leathery skin of your wings and gently roll them between his fingers
>It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before!
>The pleasure coming from your wings quickly builds up to a breaking point
>Just before your damn bursts Anon takes his paws away
>Luna please why!
>Suddenly Anon’s huge flat tongue runs along the outside of your wing
>OH Luna yes!
>He moves over to the other one and licks along it’s entire length
>He continues to lick at your wings, it’s as pleasurable as his paws, yet more distinct, more intense! 
>It’s just how you remember preening to be
>Gosh it had been a while since you had to do that, no feathers and all
>It doesn’t take more than a few seconds before it’s unbearable to not let yourself go
>Your wings throb and darken in colour from the excess blood
>”Nya~ah-ah-ah! EEE~! E-E-EEE~!”
>As you whine in pleasure Nonny’s paw moves into your mouth, muffling your cries
>You bite down on his paw, lost in the moment
“Ouch, those teeth are really sharp”
>You can’t hear him, you're too distracted by your body’s cries for more
>Instead you keep moaning, biting down and slobbering on Anon’s paw, taking in his natural salty taste
>He takes away his paw and you roll onto your back
>While you wanted Nonny to work on your wings some more they were absolutely too sensitive for anything like that again
>Anon looms over you
>You reach your hooves out and wrap them around anon’s neck, pulling him down to you
>You push his face into your belly and writhe happily as he snuggles his head around your stomach
>Grasping around Anon’s waist with your rear legs you drag his body closer to yours
>You need to feel him against you
>Trapped between your legs you tighten your grip, drawing him ever so slightly closer
>His waist pushes against your mareparts
>”A~A~HAH~!”
>The sensation is more extreme than anything he’d done to you thus far
>And it was nothing more than a light touch
>Anon tries to raises his head but you push it back down and begin grinding your hips on him
>You really should have pushed his face between your legs
>Your horny mind registers movement in Anon’s hand
>A long pink plastic… cucumber? Appears in Nonny’s hand
>He flicks a switch on the thing and it begins to vibrate 
>You quickly lose interest in the device, focusing all your attention on the unbelievable sensation rubbing yourself on Anon was creating
>”Y-yeah! YES! Nonny!”
>You can feel yourself reaching ecstasy 
>Anon moves his hand down with the device
>You feel a paw grab onto your flank and squeeze
>You push yourself harder onto Anon, desperate for more contact
>He really doesn’t seem to mind
>Or if he does you can’t hear him with his face pressed into your belly
>He keeps groping and spreading your rump
>L-lewd!
>Just before you reach climax you feel a sneeze coming on
>*ACHOO!*
>The weight and sensation of Anon vanish immediately, leaving you horribly unsatisfied
>No longer holding onto Anon you fall back down to the ground
>You open your eyes to see nothing more than a puff of smoke where he use to be
>”LUNA DAMN IT!”
>He woke up!!
>”WHY!?”
>You relax your body and flop your limbs out
>How could he leave you like this, you were so close :’(
>You almost feel like crying, but you don’t, you’re a strong mare! A royal guard almost
>Your ears pick up on a quiet rumbling sound
>It’s Nonny’s device, it’d fallen between your legs after he’d turned into smoke
>You have no idea what he was planning to do with it, but you know exactly what’s going to happen to it now
>It looks a little big though
>Well only one way to find out
>It takes a bit of awkward maneuvering but eventually you find a position comfortable enough to work with
>This whole thing would be a lot easier if you hadn’t gotten Nonny to blast your wings into the void
>That was a bit of an overstatement, but you still couldn’t use them for more than a few seconds before the sensitivity forces you to retract them 
>It also didn’t help the stupid thing was buzzing around like that
>Jittering all over the place! Stupid thing. How were you supposed to manage with just hooves?
>You’ve no idea how Earth ponies can manage anything without wings or a horn
>With one hoof you balance the pink tube and the other you put at the tubes back, as something to push it with
>Tentatively the pink tube slowly works itself closer to you
>Gosh should you really do this? Nonny’s not even here anymore
>Something in the back of your mind disagrees, Nonny’s absence was all the more reason to do so, you deserve it! 
>B-but you know you can’t control your body in the physical world, won’t Anon be angry about the mess?
>Your mind disagrees again
>You’d already made a mess and he didn’t care, if anything he liked it, the weirdpony
>The tube inches ever closer
>Maybe you’re the weirdpony?
>The thoughts ruminating about your head vanish the exact instant you make contact with your dripping outsides
>You fail to push it any further before your body is overcome by spasming ecstasy
>Anon basically had you over the edge already, but this was clearly the tipping point
>You cry out in pleasure, dropping the tube
>Legs kicking and body twitching you ride out the rollercoaster of your own joy
>You now know /exactly/ what Nonny was going to do with this
>Thank Luna he managed to leave you with this amazing parting gift!
>You let out a final grunt of satisfaction before searching for your dropped device
>Maybe you could actually get it in this time?
>Despite being alone the thought has you uncomfortably embarrassed
>It’s good practice for Nonny that’s all! 
>Haha, could you imagine what it would be like it you couldn’t even get Nonny insi….
>*Meep!*
>You can’t even finish the thought
>Alone or not it was just too humiliating to think about such things
>You couldn’t do it, even now, in a dream, covered in sweat, saliva and your own liquid lewdness
>Picking the device you sigh
>It’s fantastic but it’s no Anon
>”Oh well, practise makes perfect as they say! hehe”
>Why waste a perfectly good dream?


>Be Anonymous
>You open your eyes and find yourself back in your bed covered in stuffed animals
>The last thing you remember was having your face buried in Silvers stomach and something crushing your waist with vice like strength
>You check the clock on the wall
>It’s just three minutes shy of 6am
>You take note of your surroundings
>Two soft mares are snuggled up to your sides
>Oh gosh they’re so small and warm!
>Shear’s little, yet massive, ears flicker and tickle your arm
>Aww, too cute
>You lightly kiss her forehead
>Her muzzle smiles and let's out a drop of slobber right onto you
>Everything has it’s consequences doesn’t it
>A third pony lays on your chest
>/Silver/, lays on your chest, as you’d figured out in your dream
>Her rear legs kick and spasm as a slick liquid drips onto your stomach, accompanying the already dry and sticky patch 
“Ny..ah~!”
>Clearly your little mare was still enjoying herself
>You however had the bluest balls in the history of blue balls
>Damn
>You lift the pony off yourself and sit up
>You place her between Soft Cotton and Shear before getting up and moving to the bathroom
>It’s rather hard not to notice the lingering scent coming from Silver’s… excretions
>It’s the smell you get just before it starts to rain, petrichor, and it. Is. Amazing! 
>Why would it smell like this?
>There’s something else too, something more musky, you’d smelt that before too, but where?
>Hmm?
>Your mind suddenly makes a few connection and you come to realise where you’d smelt this before
>It always accompanied the strawberries and lavender scent they put in this room
>Except now you’re thinking the scent is actually coming from Shear
>If that were true she’d had the hots for you since day one
>Dayam, you irresistible nigga
>Nah just kidding you’re repugnant
>The thought of Shear being unable to hide her lust just makes you rock hard again
>Why had you not managed to fuck one of them yet?
>Well Shear basically threw herself at you last night but she’d been doing it out of an attempt to steal you from the other girls
>Kind of a dick move
>...
>You really have to pee
>...
>...
>You exit from the bathroom, morning business taken care off, and look back to your little herd
>Shear and Cotton have snuggled up closer to Silver and are each nibbling on her ears
>Silvers legs twitch as she murmurs in her sleep
“..ah….anon..” 
>How can something be so adorable and so hot at the same time?
>You know what! You have something you need to take care of in the shower
>One frantic and fantastic shower later you feel far more in control of yourself than you had in the past several days
>Your mares are where you left them, all snuggled up together
>It’s adorable, and no longer as sexy
>Hmm, you’ll have to change the sheets after inviting Silver over
>The window blinds automatically open up, letting in the warm morning rays
>At it’s waking persistence both Shear and Soft Cotton stir from their slumber
>They turn and smile at you
>Both speak at the same time
“Oh, Anon, I was just dreaming about you”
>Their unison gains each other's attentions
>They look at one another then down to Silver, the pony whom they snuggled against
>They both jump back and look away in embarrassment
>Silver still sleeps, a satisfied grin on her muzzle
>”Hey girls, I’ve got a riddle for you”
“Really Anon? What is it?”
>”What breaks every time I see you?”
>You let the mares think a while before answering
>”My heart, because you’re all too adorable!”
>Shear ‘aww's at your stupid corniness
>Cotton however looks at you with great concern
>Dang ol’ nurse pone
>”Before you say anything Soft Cotton, I don’t mean it literally, I’m not hurt”
>She looks relieved
>You scoop them up, one arm per pony, and hug them close
>”It seems you girls took liberal use of my open bed policy”
>Shear points an accusational hoof at Cotton
“She started it!”
>”Don’t be a snitch Shear, besides I’m not angry”
“Thank Celestia”
>Cotton jumps down from your arms
“Can I have a bath here Anon? Breakfast is soon and I have to go to work straight after”
>”Sure go ahead”
>Her stance becomes sultry and her eyes flutter
“Do you want to join me?”
>”If I hadn’t just showered”
>She lowers her head, dejected
>”But you could get Shear to join you, she could wash your wings I bet”
>The two mares blush up furiously with the thought
>”Some other time then?”
>Cotton just ignores you and closes the door
“Hey Anon?”
>”Yeah Shear?”
“This is our first morning together as a couple, we could make it special with a little morning snuggle, whaddya think?”
>This mare was always about them snuggles
>Lucky you were too
>”We’ll use your bed, I don’t want to wake up Silver”
>As if on cue Silver cries out your name in her sleep
“Yeah, let’s leave her over there”
>You bounce onto Shear’s bed and free the pony from your grasp
>This bed was really way to big for her
>She rolls around to face you and you snuggle up closer to her
>You lay in silence, intermittently broken by the sounds of Soft Cotton singing from the tub
>Once Soft Cotton finishes bathing and flaps back into the main room she dives onto your side, demanding her own hugs
>To Shear’s annoyance you comply and bring her in on the action
>Now that you’re the one hugging them they no longer seem to have a problem being snuggled up close together
>It’s not gay in a threeway
>After a good five minutes of holding two awkwardly squirming ponies Cotton’s stomach decides it’s breakfast time by letting out a hungry rumble
>You poke Soft Cotton’s round little belly and talk to it
>”Alright little fella guess we can go get something to eat. Come on guys, get up, get ready, and let's go, Soft Cotton’s belly demands it”
>Shear scurries off to the bathroom to answer nature's call
>Cotton takes the privacy as an opportunity to pull you aside
>”What is it Cotton?”
>She looks at you with her calm nurse face
“I think Silver may have had a little accident in her sleep. If you want I can-
>You silence her with an upraised hand
>”Don’t worry Soft Cotton, I know what happened and it’s my fault, I can take care of everything”
>She nods
“You’re a nice stallion Anon”
>Shear burst forth from the bathroom
>She beings to rummage around in her draw, pulling out her uniform, cute little beret and all
>She also starts to pack her saddle bag with bits and bobs from around the room 
>You too should get dressed
>To your literal joy you discover a new set of black clothes in your draws
>You actually had clean clothes again! Thank you Luna!
>Shear and Soft Cotton gasp at you in your fancy new duds
>Soft Cotton speaks first
“A-anon… you’re a black suit now?! How did you even manage that!”
>”Oh, I met Princess Luna and she thinks I’m a danger to the world, so... got a black suit now”
>Your mares are agast
“W-what?”
>”Don’t worry I’m not a real danger, and the princess isn’t mad at me or anything”
>Shear pokes towards you
“Not mad! She made you a black suit!”
>”And? What’s changed aside from the colour of my shirt?”
>She looks stumped
“Nothing I guess”
>Cotton speaks up
“When did you meet the princess?”
>”Last night. It was in a dream”
“That answers my next question”
>”we good here?”
>The girls nod
>”Right, let’s go to breakfast”
>The three of you move out to the cafeteria 
>But not before leaving a note [always leave a note] for Silver to make herself at home once she'd woken up, and that you’d clean up the bed later
>You and your mares enter the cafeteria and gather your morning pancakes
>It’s still early so very few inmates have arrived
>There are a few guard ponies laughing away at their table
>And call yourself crazy but it looks like a few of them have added glitter to their coats
>As ever, waiting for you at your table is Platinum Strike and Blaze
>You stop at the table and wait for your mares to have a seat
>”Hi Platinum, how was your night?”
>She gestures up and down at your clothes 
“Clearly not as interesting as yours”
>”haha, the black suit, yeah, I just had a-
>Shear blurts out, unable to contain herself
“Anon met Princess Luna last night and made him a black suit because he’s a danger to the world!”
>You cringe slightly at the lack of tact
>Platinum raises an eyebrow
“Seriously Anonymous?”
>You nod
>”Yep, pretty much, but I wouldn’t really call me a danger to anyone”
“I think it’s cool, you’re a real tough guy now Anon”
>You grin at Platinums approval
>You take your first bite of that syrupy goodness
>As you chew the fluffy disk you lean back and take in the view
>The view of two sweet mare booties
>Nice
>You look up to see Platinum holding back a laugh 
>She’d been watching your /intensive/ observation of your mare’s sweet backsides
>You point a finger at her
>”Don’t you dare”
>Platinum let's her laughter out in a cackle
>It seems she does dare
“Hahahah, sorry Anon, you really can’t help yourself can you? And they’re so oblivious! It’s just too hilarious”
>As if to prove her point both Shear and Soft Cotton have taken no notice of your conversation, both preferring the sweet tastes of their breakfast
>”Yeah, real funny, but we don’t all have minds like a steel trap”
>She just laughs
>”So you were here pretty early Platinum”
“Well our dance recital is tonight. The director wants us there early, and for most of the day, last second preparations and all, I’m still going to the gym, I’ll just be late, so Blaze will be opening it up. Feel free to start the, ahh, “training” session before I get there”
>”Sure thing, and I cannot wait to see the dance recital, neither can Shear, Silver or Soft Cotton” 
>Your two mare’s ears flicker at the mention of their names, but they don’t cease their eating
>Such greedy little things, it’s a wonder they all aren’t fat, especially with the sugar from those pudding cups
“It’s good to hear you’re looking forward to it Anon. By the way, we’re having an after party in the dance hall and I wanted to invite you guys, ya wanna go?”
>Hmm?
>At best it’s going to be a radical party and at worst you’ll gain valuable insight into their culture
>You know it only just occurred to you but it didn’t even phase you that they were having a party in prison
>But then again by the end of day one here it was pretty obvious this place was nothing more than a fancy hotel you weren’t allowed to leave
>”You know we’ll be there Platinum”
“Nice, I even heard we’re getting in some Apple acres cider, the real strong stuff”
>Soft Cotton breaks herself from her breakfast
“The ponies going to this party better not drink too much of that, I don’t want to have to spend my night and morning dealing with sick inmates”
“Don’t worry Soft Cotton, we’re not going to let ponies get out of hand, it’ll be fine” Platinum assures
>Shear interrupts with a mighty belch
>Cotton looks disgusted, up until the point you pat Shear on the head and congratulate her effort
>She quickly let's out one of her own, and you congratulate her accordingly
>If all it took to keep your horsey partners happy was a pat, hug, and kiss every now and again you were set to end up as the world’s greatest husbando 
>Shear utters quietly
“With Anon there I don’t think things will stay fine for long Platinum, no offence Anon, but where you go chaos follows”
>”None taken”
>In this world pretty much everything you did was some social pho par, or just something never heard of
“Haha, you’re probably right Shear, come on, he /is/ a black suit already and such an evil guy”
>Your small group breaks out with laughter
>”So Soft Cotton, you doing anything interesting today?” 
“Well actually The Warden is trusting me with a very special patient today”
>”Really who is it?”
“Maple Glaze”
>Platinum looks to Cotton
“Maple Glaze is here?”
>Cotton nods
“Yep, she comes by every once in awhile”
>You fade out of the conversation as all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, as if some warden had silently walked up behind you, just like every other time you’d been in the cafeteria
“Enjoying the Black suit Anonymous”
>Yup, that’s Honey Cakes
>”Good morning Warden, how are things?”
“Well, I’m feeling a little worried, and one of my naughty inmates was just moved to supervillain class by none other than Princess Luna herself, so what do you think?”
>”You’re angry at me, aren’t you?”
>She shakes her head
“Not angry, just disappointed”
>Oh god what have you done, you’re a monster
>”I’m sorry Honey Cakes it was a bit out of my control”
“C’est la vie Anonymous”
>Something has you irked
>“Wait, why are you feeling worried?”
>Honey Cakes loses her calm demeanor to reveal the frazzled and stressed pony beneath
“That’s one of the reason’s I’m here”
>She directs her worry to Cotton, voice even wavering
“Soft Cotton can we please begin early, she’s started coughing again, I can’t wait any longer, it’s killing me”
>Jesus what is happening?
>Soft Cotton gulps down her juice box and pushes her tray away
“Okay, take her to my office and I’ll meet you there shortly”
>Honey Cakes is unable to hide her relief
“Thank you so much Soft Cotton, you’re a good friend”
>”Are you okay Warden, what’s happened?”
“Oh, sorry Anonymous. Maple Glaze is terribly sick, and it’s really scaring me”
>”I’m sorry to hear that”
>You can only assume Maple Glaze is a very special inmate
>Soft Cotton interjects
“Don’t worry Anon, The Warden’s only worried because this is the first time Maple Glaze has been sick, really it’s just a case of the sniffles”
>”Well that’s good to hear”
>You give Cotton a kiss on the cheek 
>”I’ll see you at lunch”
>Cotton and The Warden trot away at a brisk pace
>You overhear Honey Cakes as she leaves 
“Honestly Soft Cotton, him? He’s a prisoner! *Sigh* You always have gone for the dangerous ones”
>The two mares move from ear shot, but before Honey leaves the room she turns back to shout at you
“And don’t think I don’t know what you did to the time out room door! You’ll be getting punished for that!”
>Shit
>Your table begins laughing again, you excluded 
>Directing your attention back to the table you take notice of Soft Cottons juice box
>They had juice boxes? Where did she get this?
>You must get one at lunch
>Platinum takes you from your thoughts
“Have you noticed a lot of the guards have glitter in their coats today? It looks nice, I wonder who started the trend?”
>You had noticed, and you knew who was responsible for it
>”I doesn’t look bad, that’s for sure” 
>Blaze licks his lips
“They look a lot like sparkly gems”
>”True enough, just don’t go eating them, from what I’ve been told they don’t like that”
>A shiver runs through Shear
“Don’t joke about things like that Anon, promoting carnivorous ideals is a danger to pony society”
>You grin widely to show off your predominant canines while leaning closer 
>She cringes back, but only slightly
>”And yet you chose to form a herd with me, the biggest meat lover out of everyone here”
>Well, you thought you were the biggest meat lover, no one else grabbed as much of it as much as you did
“You’re a special case Anon. You have… unique qualities that outweigh your scariness”
>Unique qualities? 
>Well you had hands, loved to give belly rubs, and had overly salty sweat, the equivalent of this world’s crack cocaine apparently, also yo- hey wait a sec!
>”You think I’m scary?”
>Yet again your table is overcome by laughter, you excluded
“Have you looked at yourself lately Anon? Your size, sharp, pointed features, really strong, you apparently feel no pain, you’re a black suit, AND, you are a princess certified danger! Of course you’re scary!”
>Shear moves across to snuggle up closer 
“But we all know you’re actually a big softy deep down, and that’s why I love you”
>You’re overcome by Shear’s sincerity
>”Aww, you silly little thing”
>Putting your hand around her chest you squeeze her tightly against yourself
>You place your pudding cup on her breakfast tray
>”Here, you earned it you little sweet talker”
>She leans up for a kiss, which you gladly give
>Platinum sticks out her tongue and makes a retching sound
“Sheesh guys, keep it behind closed doors”
>You grin at her, perfect response in mind
>”It’s like you said Platinum, I just can’t help myself”
>She places a paw on her forehead and shakes it slowly back and forth
>You spend the rest of breakfast chatting with your friends
>A very helpful friend of course was Blaze, who directed most of the conversation towards Equestrian society and history
>Way to help an alien bro out
>Once breakfast ends your group goes its separate ways
>Platinum to practice, Blaze to the library, and Shear to catch up with some old friend of hers
>With nothing else to do you join Shear on her journey to meet said friend
>You would have liked to join her while she caught up with the friend, but she not so subtly made it clear this was to be a private event
>The walk to the pony’s room was an uneventful one
>Shear knocks upon the door and the oldest pony you’d ever seen steps out
>She looked positively ancient, yet there was clearly an indomitable will of iron under those wrinkles
>Great Grandma Pie was her name
>Was she called that as a foal? Because if so this world's naming system just got a whole lot weirder
>She was of opal mane and greying pink coat
“So who mighty ya be?”
>”Me? I’m Anonymous, Shear’s friend”
“Oh so you’re the big muscly one who's got my Shear acting all weird. Come in then”
>You move to enter but are prevented by a wrinkled hoof
“No not you, just her ya big galumph”
>Shear looks apologetically at you
“Sorry Anon, gotta respect your elders”
>”Fine, fine, I’ll see you later yeah?”
“Most definitely”
>The two mares enter and the door slams behind them
>Well that was rude
>What the hell do you do now?
>Were any of your clubs running?
>Not that you knew of
>You’ll just go for a morning walk to work off your breakfast then
>You stroll outside feeling rather flash in your new black duds
>It was such a nice sunny day out
>And boring
>Nothin’ to do
>Maybe those science ponies would come by soon
>You’re about to reach the beach lake when a small group of ponies and diamond dogs catch up to you
>One of them yells out
“Hi Anonymous, I knew you wouldn’t skip your first club session!”
>You anxiously rub the back of your neck
>”Haha, yeah, totally wouldn’t miss it”
>The pony was a rust red with grown mane
>He was the head of the Adventures club, Path Finder, whom you’d met your first day here while joining clubs
>You had know idea his club was running, but you sure did catch a break because of it
>”So what’s the plan for today?”
“Oh that’s right, you weren't here for the meeting at the start. Well get excited Anonymous, for today The Warden granted our request to explore the natural caverns that run all through the mountain beneath Canterlot! Barely any ponies even know they exist, and those who do are rarely allowed inside after what happened with Queen Chrysalis, we should consider ourselves privileged!”
>You smile
>”Alright little fella, don’t get too worked up, please lead the way, your group grows restless”
>He nods
“Yes, an adventurer never got anywhere by standing around”
>He starts up the small groups march once again
>Looks like you’ve got yourself something to do
>Path finder leads the group along a thin path windling beside the lake/cliff interface
>You pass behind the misting waterfall and reach the end of the path
>It leads to a small door in the cliff face beside the lake
>Path Finder pulls a key from his bags and opens the door
>You all dutifully move through into the cave systems behind
>The inside has been modeled into a small entryway, and a closet sits to the side
>In it are several pre-packed exploration kits
>Rope, mining head lamps, little brushes and chizzle, all that funk
>You take one of the packs
>All of them are pony sized, so you simply attach it to your belt, like a small pouch
>Path Finder exuberantly begins the debriefing
“Alright everypony, and dog, today, after many requests we have been allowed to explore the crystal caverns! You’ve each been given free range of the pre-approved exploration zones, that way we know nopony can get hurt”
>”What’s stopping us from going outside the pre-approved region?”
>Path Finder looks at you with confusion
“Why would you go outside the pre-approved regions? That would be against the rules! Besides, the area’s have been magically sealed”
>Damn, no real exploration then
>”Alright, continue Path Finder”
“Uh, I was done. Now everypony get in there and have fun!”
>Everyone rushes out of the entryway and into the main cavern
>It’s quite large, and there are many branching paths and caves running around the place
>There’s even a few paths up along the cavern wall
>Huge crystals grow just about everywhere
>Blue, green, pale yellow, it’s amazing
>Adventures club is pretty cool so far, lucky you bumped into these guys
>The Diamond dogs all start digging and chipping away at the walls and crystals, gathering up gems
>The ponies just stay in a small group marveling at how the light passing through some crystals makes rainbows
>You pull out your head lamp and make your way to the one cave entrance that was actually dark
>You can hear Path Finder speak up as you approach the entrance
“Anonymous you can’t go through ther-
>Path Finder’s voice cuts off as you pass into the dark corridor
>Confused you turn around
>You can just make out the faintest orange shimmer over the entrance
>It was one of the magical seals
>You shine a light down the corridor to reveal no danger, mayhaps it was simply the darkness that had them close it off?
>You poke your head back into the main cave
“-AND THEN HE JUS-, oh Anonymous you came back! How did you get past the barrier?”
>”Said pretty please. It wants me to explore down here, trust me”
>Path Finder stares at you with mild confusion
“Well okay then, I never really understood magic stuff anyway, have fun in the dark!”
>Good god that was too easy
>You go down the dark corridor, sounds of the group outside kept at bay by the magical seal
>Quietly you step along, light illuminating all that’s ahead of you 
>You continue traveling for some time, the path steadily moving upwards until widening out into larger caves, branching paths going everywhere
>You’d be terrified of getting lost if you hadn’t kept finding glowing orange fields, each time you passed through one the sounds of the adventures would arise once more
>And so each time you would head back out and into the unexplored area
>It’s not that you wouldn’t have fun just walking around in a well lit pre-explored, pony-proofed cave, but things were getting a little more interesting here, especially now you could make out the sound of running water
>Following said sound up around and through several small caverns you finally locate its source
>It’s a clearly artificially dug stream, directing water somewhere
>The stream continues into the cave wall down some sort of drainage system
>Looking upstream you can see a pool, which funnels into the stream you stand beside
>The pool is being fed by a small waterfall above it, you cannot see above the cliff over which it falls, but you do realise the lip of the cliff is one massive crystal glowing blue
>Now how can you get up there?
>You can see a cave entrance near the cliff top, but the only way from there to the cliff top is an empty space, so you'll have to jump to get there
>Not far though, you could make it, now you just have to find the path that will take you there
>Many minutes of walking in circles and dead ends later you find yourself ready to make that jump
>Except something's bothering you
>Now that you’re up here you can see the top of the cliff and… well there’s no water up here
>And yet down below you can clearly see the waterfall splashing away
>What’s up with that
>You dive across and land on the cliff top
>There is definitely no water source up here
>You turn to the edge and go to lean against the massive crystal lip to check out what’s going on
>As you touch the crystal your vision fades and everything goes black
>...
>...
>You wake up, how long you were out, you’ve no idea
>You’re still leaning against that crystal though
>Except you most certainly were no longer in a cave
>The walls around you were a fine marble brick
>Just very slimy and green
>The stream was still here too, although not how you remember it
>The water was a lot smellier, unpleasant
>You were in a sewer system… fantastic
>You get up off the crystal and realise what was going on
>The stream was flowing into the crystal
>That’s why there wasn’t any water on the cliff, the source was the crystal itself, it was a portal!
>A portal to help manage what you can only assume is Canterlot’s wastewater
>Welp, you just broke out of prison through the sewage pipes
>God do you love the adventures club!
>There’s a single shiny thing in the far corner of the sewage tunnel
>Going over to pick it up you discover it’s a single gold coin, a “bit” as they call it
>You pocket it and look up to see where it could have come from
>There’s a small grate right above you
>For a small pony it would be quite difficult to move, but for you, not so much
>Lifting and pushing it aside you jump, grab and struggle your way out of the sewers 
>You crawl out into a small garden
>Tiny really
>You’re surrounded on three sides by unscalable white marble walls
>There’s soft grass and moss growing on the ground, a single tiny willow tree, a little well and bucket, and a fancy marble bench, in front of which is a little pedestal with a small scroll
>A few birds trill in the morning sun shining down
>You slide the grate back over and get up
>On one of the three walls is a small glass door 
>You push it open and crawl through
>Books, books everywhere!
>Now you’re in some sort of library
>Full of very, very old books and scrolls
>Explains why that one was outside
>There’s a plaque above a large grate door reading “Canterlot Forbidden Library”
>Okay, forbidden library, probably in Canterlot Castle, location acquired
>The mear fact it’s called forbidden has your curiosity thrown into overdrive
>You must read some of these, or steal them
>Then at least you’d have a real reason to be in jail
>The first section you arrive to is labeled “Rare and unknown magic” 
>What a fucken rippa
>You find a few books and scrolls about gems and their enchanting that you’re sure Shear would love to get her hooves on
>As you stuff them into your pouch a light breeze moves through the room
>You swear you could hear a faint laughter with it
>Curious
>With a pouch full of random crap you move to the exit
>Before you can open the door a small torn up book hits you on the head and someone begins to laugh
>Where the fuck did that come from?
>You pick it up
>”R.Diary of Clover The Clever”
>Just because you’re a kleptomaniac you take that too
“Hello anonymous!”
>You look around but don’t see anything, and that voice sound suspiciously like John de Lancie
>”John? Is that you?”
“Hmm? John? Ah, oh yes, I see how you could think that… no, the name is-"
>A pile of scrolls burst up and origami folds itself into the shape of some kind of goat, pony, snake lion demon creature
>A real looker he was
"-DISCORD! Spirit of chaos and all that. It’s so nice to meet you”
>He reaches out a paper claw to shake
>When you grasp his claw it turns to flesh once more and you can see Discord in his full glory
“Oh fair knight, you have broken the spell and ended my cursed days as paper.”
>He dramatically falls upon a couch that appears from nowhere
>”Right… So why were you there?”
“Oh me? Just playing hide and go seek, but I tell you what it’s the last time I play by myself, no one ever finds me, until now that is”
>You look at the curious creature with scrutinising eyes
>Yeah right, he’s probably some guard for the library
>Shit that’s no good
>No, no he isn’t a guard, he admitted it himself, he was a spirit of chaos
>But you’d heard his name before, Discord… discord, discord?
>Oh yes! That’s it, Princess Luna mentioned him last night, you were an “unreformed Discord” 
>”I don’t actually believe that, why are you really here?”
“Smarter than you look with such a flat face. I like to help around every so often, you know keep the Princesses on my good side, nothing like the threat of getting stoned, not what you’re thinking pothead, to keep a guy in line”
>”Help?”
“Oh I’m good with detecting magic and its disturbances, the princesses enjoy it when I tell them about it, helps deal with possible threats they tell me”
“Anyway, I was in my shower performing The Marriage of Figaro with a bar of soap and two ladles, when something strange happened””
>As he speaks he appears in a shower 
>Or at least one of him does, the other stands beside you narrating his experience
“Well I felt quite a disturbance”
“Something strange, something curious, a magical anomaly, it was like something had built up inside of myself”
>His showering version let's out a tremendous fart
“No not that”
>And then shakes about wildly with glowing lights flashing out of his body
>The shower water turns to orange juice and the bath to fairy floss, which quickly melts, leaving a very disappointed and sticky Discord
“That! So I came to check it out, but got distracted with being paper, not that it mattered, after all, just ten days later you’ve come straight to me! And oh my, you are certainly something different, you and magic just don’t seem to mix now do they? And yet I can't seem to tell the two of you apart... interesting, can you tell me why Anonymous?”
>His showering self disappear, as does his narrating self
>”Sorry, can’t help you on the crazy front”
“Bwahaha! You are a funny one! But a prisoner! That’s no good! You must have broken out just to come see me! I certainly am flattered Anonymous”
>You feel something on your shoulder
>It’s a tiny Discord
>He holds up a hand fan and coyly flutters it over his face
>”The breaking out of prison was more of an accident than anything, hell I plan on going back later anyway”
“Hmmf, Maybe you aren’t as interesting as I thought. Can’t you stir things up a little? I would love just a teenie-weenie bit of chaos, Celestia doesn’t like it when I do it, not while I’m meant to be reformed”
>”I didn’t say I was going back there right away now did I?”
>An eyebrow is raised at you
>Not Discord’s, in fact he has disappeared again, it was just a massive floating eyebrow
“In that case I would like you to have this”
>A golden scepter with a unicorn's head rolls out from behind your arm and into your hand
“Oops wrong artifact”
>The cane morphs into a tiny pillow
>”And lo: by their devices and desires shall Chaos make itself known to thee… What is this meant do?”
>Discord still hasn’t re appeared but his voice lingers
“It’s use will become apparent for when you need it. It would be quite soft to fall upon”
>”Yeah if it wasn’t tiny”
“That’s a shame isn’t it. Just don’t make it now angry”
>Chaos may be heretical, but this guy seemed alright
>”Hey Discord?”
>Silence
>Looks like you’re on your own again
>You turn back to the door and jump away in shock at the rematerialised Discord
“I almost forgot, we don’t want anypony chasing after you now do we”
>He sticks a post-it note on your forehead and vanishes
“I’ll be watching Anonymous, watching very closely”
>You pull off the post-it and turn it over
*Not a prisoner*
>Better than nothing
>You put the note on your shirt
>It’s about time for a real adventure
>You open up the door, which squeaks rustily from the hinges
>Well that’s got to have gained the attention of every guard here
>Yet no one comes
>In fact, as you walk along the corridor trying to find an open window through with to leap into the open grounds, a patrolling guard walks by and simply nods their head to you and wishes you a good morning 
>Was escaping prison always this easy? Or was it only like this when it’s an accident?
>Finally you reach a paneless window and jump over into the open grounds outside
>You find and follow a dirt path heading towards a fence running along the castle perimeter
>Just over that was the rest of Canterlot, the capital of Equestria
“HEY! HEY YOU!”
>A Guard with gold armour runs up to you
“You there, beast, are you breaking out from prison, because I don’t think that’s allowed”
>You crouch down to be eye level with the guard
>”No don’t worry, I’m not a prisoner”
>You tap at the post-it note on your chest
>”Just an exotic tourist”
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just you’re wearing the typical Perpetual Rainbow Rehabilitation Center supervillain prisoners clothes, haha, you’ve even got their logo on your shirt. Sorry again, do you need any assistance?”
>Too easy
>”Yeah, how can I get out of here? And where can I get a map of Canterlot?”
“Oh here, you can have mine!”
>He pulls out a small fold away map and puts it in your pouch
“And there’s an exit just down this path, the key is kept under the mat. Anything else? I could give you a list of good breakfast spots”
>”I’m good thanks”
“Alright sir, have a nice day, sorry for taking up your time”
>Alright then
>You open up the little map, which folds out into quite the impressive map
>Something odd does catch your eye
>It’s a little caricature of Discord
*100% Discord approved* is stamped under it
>A bunch of pop up ads flash up on the map
*Need to last longer?*, *Want stronger Cuddles?*, *How to get Swol in 1 magic step*
>Each ad contains a crude picture of Discord in a theme appropriate costume
>You swipe them all away to bring back the map underneath 
>A red dot shows up on the map accompanies with a caption
*Exit is here*
>Alright, for whatever reason Discord is really taking a shine to you
>Well like Shear said, wherever you go, chaos follows
>Following the map and path you indeed find a small gate in the wall
>In front of it is a welcome map, which has “Key underneath” spray painted on top
>Amazingly the key is still there, and had not been stolen years ago
>You unlock the gate, put back the key, and exit the castle grounds
>An alert noise comes from the map
*Congratulation! You got out! Collect prize here!*
>You tap the map and a small box pops up on the ground
>You open up the box and take out a photo
>That was a disappointing reward... 
>In the photo are two smiling ponies
>Both where unicorns, one white coat and purple mane, the other a light blue with flame orange and yellow mane
>On the back scrawled in cursive is “Canterlot Carousel Opening”
>You haven’t known Discord for long, but he’s shown he’s very magically capable, so this is probably important
>You slip the picture into your pouch
>So then, you’re out of prison but still faced with the same question. What now?
>Albeit now it’s a lot more exciting
>You look at the map
*How about something innocent first?*
>The writing fades away
*Need money?*
>A gold coin pops up on the map
*You can figure it out*
>The marker seems to be in the center of some bazar themed place
>Mon~ay time!
>The walk is a slow one
>The streets were busy, the stares and questions constant, fancy ponies everywhere demanding you come work for them with such hands, very favourable for a servant
>A number of guards come up to you attempting to make an arrest, until you point out your note
>The city itself is amazing! It’s like old time rome mixed with a modern human city and a dab of pony uniqueness 
>From the look of the general populace it’s about 70% unicorn, 15% pegasus, 10% earth and 5% Zebra, gryphon, dragon, tiny fairy pony and others
>Much to both your and the fairy ponies, or breezies, annoyance they enjoyed flying at exactly your head height
>The number of ponies you’ve had to pluck out of your hair was too damn high
>You reach the Bazar themed area, and indeed that was the theme and approach a pony sitting behind a wooden table with sign out the front
*1 bit per game*
>It’s a shell game table
>Well you did have that single bit from the sewer
>”Hi there friend, I’m up for a game”
>The pony, brown coat with caramel mane, looks up
“And what might you be?”
>”A tourist. So can I get a game?”
“Of course stranger”
>You toss the bit on the table
>The pony places a pebble under a cup and stands up two more
>He slowly moves the cups around with his hooves
>It couldn’t be more obvious which cup had the pebble under it
“Now then, where is it?”
>You point at the cup
>He lifts it up to reveal nothing
>What the fuck?
>You hear the wind carrying the soft laugh of Discord 
>God damn Discord
>You check the map
*He’s better than you think*
“Do you want to play again?”
>”Sorry, that was my last bit”
>The pony looks at you with cunning
“Well how about this, you pick your own game, if you win you can have the bit, if not, well, we can work that out later”
>”Alright, let’s play rock paper scissors”
“The gryphon game?”
>”Uh, yeah”
“Alright then”
>You shake off and give paper
>He’s got rock
>”Ha, looks like I win”
>The pony looks agast 
“B-but I always win! Let's play again!”
>You go again
>Paper beats rock as always
>And you’ve just doubled your money
>The stallion looks at his hoof in confusion
“Again!”
>You win again, after all how could you not?
>It only takes 50 bits worth of games for him to realise he wasn’t going to win
>Not a huge amount of money but it’s something
>You look at the map
*It’s up to you for now Anonymous*
>Cool. Cool, cool, cool
>What should you do then
>Some more money would be nice 
>Although how much was 50 bits actually worth?
>You’re in the capital too, so everything should have inflated prices
>You look back down at the swindled pony
>”Is there anything cool I should check out around town?”
“The Wonderbolts are having a training session at the flight track. That is a must see for all tourists”
>He holds out a hoof
>”What are you doing?’
“Information isn’t free mister, that’ll be one bit”
>You drop a single bit into his hoof
>It’s completely outrageous, but you did just cheat him pretty hard
>”Alright map, where’s this track at”
>A glowing dot appears at the far west of Canterlot
>It’s nearby
>Good
>You choose to travel the back alleys to avoid the majority of the traffic, and attention
>Soon you lose count of the number of underground pizza places you pass
>None of them are open sadly, it is still morning
>You hear the flight track before you see it
>Sounds of thunder claps and rumbling
>And when you do see it you’re surprised
>The track is in the sky
>Made of cloud rings and poles
>But much more impressive are the ponies flying above
>They swoop and dive in impressive arches
>Every so often a group of them would dive together and break apart
>In doing so they form a small shockwave, sending out a deafening blast
>As the break apart and fly away a trail of grey clouds, sparking with electricity trail behind them
>”Bloody hell”
“Like what you see?”
>An older, sleek, blue and rainbow haired pegasus has snuck up beside you in your distraction
>”Uh. Yeah I guess, I’d rather say I find it spectacular. We’ve nothing like this where I’m from”
>The mare raise an eyebrow
“And where might that be?”
>”If you really must know go ask Princess Luna”
>She smiles
“I might just do that, I’m meeting with the Princesses later today”
>”You’re kidding right?”
>Your conversation is cut off by a thunderous cacophony of blasts followed by a blinding sphere of light bursting apart and a series of ponies flying in all directions
>”God damn that is fucked”
“I’d rather say sloppy”
>You look back to the raspy voiced pegasus
>”So if you know the princesses I guess you’re with these guys”
“You could say that yeah. Speaking of, do you have the time?”
>”No sorry, I lost my phone”
“Phone?”
>”What was that?”
“Did you say phone?”
>”I’ve know idea what you’re talking about”
>She looks at you weirdly
“Riiiight, well it was nice to meet you mister what’s-his-face”
>”Right nice to meet you, uh, I didn’t catch your name”
>And it would seem you never would, as she takes to the air at a tremendous speed before you even finish speaking
>Okay then
>A single blue feather falls from the sky
>Into the pouch it goes
>You look back up to see most of the pegasi have flown off
>Just one remains in the air, high above the track
>Suddenly he drops from the sky
>As he approaches the track he pulls up and speeds straight through the centre
>The air current tailing behind him drags all the clouds making up the field into small wisps of moist air that quickly dissipate in the warm morning sun
>It seems you only caught the end of practice
>You wonder what the hell the whole session would have been like
>Unbelievable probably
>You slowly saunter from the field
>You are a tourist, an adventurer, and maybe an agent of chaos
>Clearly that means you must find the city's shady underbelly
>There are several dots that light up on your map
>One of them interests you
*The Zebra Market*
>Sounds shady
>But once again, and more importantly, it’s nearby
>The furthest one, “Fighting Ring”, would be about an hours walk away
>You didn’t exactly have the whole day to spend out here
>Especially considering those research ponies were meant to come for you at any time
>You step up your slow saunter to a hurried gait
>The map leads you down several branching back alleys, until you reach a small wooden gate
>It’s barred but you just reach over the top and pull the bar away
>You push it open and step through
>Beyond is a large dome like room with a single hole at the top for light
>Plants and moss grow along the walls and vines writhe in tangles along the floor
>A single gnarled tree stump sits in the centre, covered in glowing mushrooms
>The shops are all situated inside the domes walls
>Some are large and have multiple rooms
>Others were just small wooden shacks built into dug out holes
>Yet each had it’s own strange and unique wares for sale
>Ponies and zebras milled about the center court talking in hushed voices
>A Zebra guard steps from the shadows
“How did you get in here? That door was locked”
>”Don’t look at me, he was the one who let me in”
>You point to a newly emerging Zebra
“That son of a bitch. Hey Katar you idiot, we don’t just let everpony in here you know! Did you even check him for the secret knock?”
>The Zebra attempts to explain but stutters and stumbles in shock at the sudden accusations
>As the two Zebra’s struggle to argue you quietly move to the shadows and walk into the nearest shop
>It’s one of the larger ones
>Some sort of alchemy store you guess
>It’s got potions, cauldrons, some weird voodoo masks, plants all over, weird things in jars, a bunch of alchemy ingredients, and trinkets galore 
>Oh it's amazing! This has become a true adventure now, you must buy some strange things!
>You look about at the stores wares
>There are some books which by the look of them are ancient, the words written in runes of some kind
>Of the alchemy ingredients you discover three meat based ones
>The skin of a Manticore, the eye of a Hydra, and what has been labeled “The last monkey paw” 
>The first two were priced in the range of thousands of bits, the last was asking for upwards of ten million
>You did not have that kind of money
>Damn, you really wanted to eat that monkey
>Ah well
>Instead you settle for buying a strange wood bead necklace for Shear
>You call it strange because the beads are more like smooth glass, but they are most definitely wood
>It’s an interesting piece and you figure a world traveler like Shear would enjoy it. 
>You move to a wooden bench overcome by moss
>It’s the counter, you think, it has a cash register so…
>A Zebra mare comes wriggling out of some vines
“It is good to see a new face in my humble store. What is it you seek stranger”
>”I was just going to buy this necklace”
“Five bits”
>You cough up the money
>As your arm passes by the Zebra’s muzzle she takes a quick inhale
“You certainly are a stranger aren’t you… I don’t think I’ve ever met anything like you”
>”You probably haven’t”
“Well then would you permit me to take a few samples for my alchemical research?”
>”That depends on what you mean by “samples””
“Just a few things, like hair, bodily fluids, toenails or fingernails, maybe some dead skin?”
>You're not sure about this
>”Well what’s in it for me?”
>The Zebra looks at you with increasing desperation at your reluctance
“I’ll give you five bits a sample”
>”Done deal”
“Good, now give me a moment to inspect”
>The Zebra moves up to you and begins sniffing at your feet, she moves up your legs, past your crotch, stands of her hind hooves and continues along
>This has got to be one of the strangest moments of your life
>The mare steps back and looks up to you
“I require hair samples from your head, body, armpit, and crotch”
>”Woah, why all four? Can’t you just do the head?”
“20 bits a sample”
>You immediately pull out a small chunk of hair from each location
>”Bam! How much is this worth”
>She opens the register and pulls out a small sac
"180 bits"
>You rollin’ in it now. That sweet cash money
>Next she has you spit into five separate jars
>And that’s more sweet mones for you
“May I also have a fingernail?”
>”Sure”
>She turns around to grab some nail clippers
“Here, allow me, I’ve been certified for nail removal”
>”Haha, you’re pretty funny”
>You bite at your nail and chew it off
>”Here, I just bite my nails”
>She looks aghast at you
“T-that’s very brave of you, I can see mighty brews coming from your specimens”
>She gives you one last small amount of money
>”Are we done here?”
“Certainly stranger, we are”
>You open up your pouch to store your now vast amount of money
>Honestly it’s in the way, you got too much
>”Is there a more efficient way of dealing with bits?”
“I would recommend a Crystal credits coin. It magically keeps a storage of bit credits, and you can pretty much transfer bits to anypony with it. It’s what the ponies came up with when they realised lugging around thousands of bits wasn’t very smart”
>”Right so where do I get on of those?”
“Any pony bank will give you one for a price, or if you want Quite Trots across the way can get you one, upside is you’re past won’t be looked into and you don’t need an Equestria ID, downside is it costs, a lot, about 170 bits, but I suppose you could afford that now” 
>”Right I’ll be going there soon”
>As you close your bag the Zebra’s eye catches sight of something within it
>She whispers something under her breath
“Pegasus feather of blue, make your wish come true”
>”Did you say something?”
>She shakes her head and looks at you with great urgency
“You can take anything you wish from my shop if you give me that feather!”
>”Anything for a feather?”
“Yes!”
>”Sure thing”
>You pass her the feather 
“Browse my wares and choose an item”
>You look around once more
>You find an interesting looking rune stone, it’s got some kind of flaming gate symbol on it
>That can only mean good things
>But something else also grabs your attention
>It looks like that big sphere Shear had gotten from Gem club, except this one is wooden with some sort of emerald inlay
>Behind the emerald you can see a kind of moss or fungus growing
>Could you have both?
>Well you could swindle your way into having both without karmic repercussion, this was the equivalent of the black market after all
>”Can I have these two things?”
>The Zebra looks back at you
“Absolutely not, if you’d ever believe I’d give those two items to a Black suit prisoner you’d be crazy”
>”You know I’m a prisoner, what about the note?”
>She looks at you without a hint of emotion
“Do I look like an idiot to you?”
>You point to the monkey paw
>”I’ll take that instead of these two then”
>The Zebra is angered at first, but then she looks more closely at your hand and the very similar paw
>Her stance becomes fearful and she backs behind the counter
“You can have both, just get out! Get out of my shop right now! Beast”
>”Rude, but also thanks”
>You exit to the main room, slightly confused 
>The guards have given up their search so you’re free to go explore
>You feel the map vibrate in your pouch
*Good job Anonymous. Have another gift*
>”Good job? What did I do?”
>You hear a box fall to the ground
>Picking it up you open it and withdraw its contents
>It’s a single rose, stored in some kind of glass cylinder filled with a gel
>Ain’t that just a pickled peach
>You win some, you lose some when it comes to a spirit of chaos
>Except you seem to have lost twice. First an old photo, second a preserved flower
>You slide it away in your, now quite full, explorers pouch
>You cycle through each of the shops
>You find poisons, love potions, armours, supposed sacred artifacts, weapons, evil spell books, just about everything that ponies shouldn’t have
>Eventually you reach a shady corner of the dome
>Or should you say, a /shadier/ corner of the dome
>From the darkness emerges the pony Quite Trots
>She’s a tiny filly, who extorts you for 190 bits for a Crystal credit coin, but as a benefit she transferred the bits you had left into bit credits for your new Crystal coin
>You’ve got just under 100 bits to your name
>The Crystal credit coin looks much the same as a normal bit except the center is a sapphire disk
>Now dealing with money was going to be far easier
>You feel a rustling at you thigh
>Looking down you see a small colt attempting to open your bags to take your already stolen scrolls
>You lightly nudge him over with your leg
>”Back off street rat”
>He looks up at you, tears in his eyes, and begins wailing
>From nowhere a small mob of ponies appear and surround you
>It’s a trap!
>Not wishing to draw any attention to yourself you simply step over the ponies trying to block your escape
>You hurriedly make your way to the door as they realise what just happened
>There’s a spark of recognition in the Zebra guards eyes as you approach
>He moves towards you but his focus is taken by a flurry of activity at the room's center
>A number of pegasi dressed in adorable riot gear have flown in through the roof hole
“GO! GO! GO!”
>The court becomes a frenzy of activity as zebras and ponies scramble for an escape
>The Pegasi swoop down and strike at ponies and zebra alike with their inflatable batons
>Before they can flee far they’re blinded by a ring of flashes
>From each flash pops forth a unicorn, dressed in what you’d call a mix between a robe and combat gear
>True chaos erupts as magic sparking blobs fly in all directions
>Ponies hit by the small blobs of sparking electricity immediately go limp 
>It must be some sort of stun spell
>All the store fronts have closed up and some even have walls literally growing over them, sealing them off entirely
>Amidst the newly formed chaos you make a break for the gate
>Magic rains down around you blasting everything in site
>With no time to open the gate you just charge through it
>The flimsy wood explodes as your momentum carries you along
>You sprint down the street with several zebra and ponies running with you
>Each being picked off by small blobs of electricity
>Just as you’re about to break onto the street proper, hoping to use the crowd as cover, a unicorn pops out in front of you
>He’s dressed like the others, pony battle mage style, except he’s got a mask wrapped around his face
“Well, well, well, look who we have here”
>The stallion moves closer and inspects your post-it note
“Not a prisoner ey?”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that”
>This guy seems familiar
>”Have we met before?”
>He pulls off his face wrapping
“Yeah, we have”
>It’s sargent Heavy Hoofed, the pony who was apparently overly aggressive when taking you in 
“I’m curious as to how you got out of prison Anonymous, but boy am I glad you chose to turn up in the Zebra market the day of our raid. I’ll have you put away for a long time after this”
>His horn lights up
“This is Heavy Hoofed, I’m calling in the specialist squad for immediate fugitive extraction”
>You’re not going to be waiting around to for that
>You lift up Heavy Hoofed and toss him into a passing hay cart
>He cries out in anger as you sprint off while he re-orientates himself
>Your worries about bothering the ponies around you vanish as self preservation kicks in
>No longer do you keep in line with the bustling crowd but rather you dive through, over and around it
>Every step you take leads to a chain reaction of chaos
>Ponies having to stop and those behind them backing into one another, falling over, carts thud together as they swerve along the road avoiding you
>It’s made all the worse by the black clad unicorns popping in and out of reality attempting to block you off
>It’s causing quite the panic among the local populace
>As you make a hurried turn down Trottingham lane you’re blinded by a flash as Heavy Hoofed pops out in front of you
“Stop right there criminal scum!”
>God damn it would they just leave you alone!
>You were going to go back to prison anyway, so what if you were a black suit found at an illegal Zebra market buying god knows what
>”You’ll never catch me alive!”
>Even the overly harsh Heavy Hoofed seems taken aback with what you’d said, obviously taking it literally, as these ponies were want to do
>”Figure of speech dude. I’ll see you later yeah?”
>With that you jump over the unicorn and speed down the road
>This time, with a bit more vigor, you make your escape
>But it’s of little use, the bastards can teleport!
>The streets are clearing up along here but there are still many ponies about
>Most of which are shrieking and cowering as you flee from the pony swat team
>How are you meant to lose a bunch of teleporting unicorns?!
>You watch closely as they teleport around you and pick up on something
>There very well may be a way to get out of this!
>Their teleporting took time! It didn’t happen instantaneously
>It would seem to be about two seconds
>One second spent entering their portal, one second spent exiting
>If you can manage to hide away while they’re teleporting you can escape!
>But you’d need all the guards to teleport at once
>You smile
>Up ahead is a wooden fence blocking off an alley entrance, or as you like to call it, your escape
>You pour on the speed to reach the fence before the unicorns
>And yet when you reach it you stop and wait
>As you do the unicorn squad runs up, attempting to block you from escaping once more
>You jump up and sit on top of the fence
>Good they’re all here
>”Haha, ya got me boys”
“Get down here now prisoner”
>”Okay I’ll get down”
>You roll backwards and over the fence into the alleyway
>”One Mississippi”
>You jump back over the fence to see a ring of flashes
>”Two Mississippi”
>From back over the fence you hear the confused grunts of the unicorn guards as they emerge, clearly not expecting your vanishing trick
>You take their brief moment of confusion to run into the closest building
*Ding-a-ling*
“How may I help...you?”
>A blue unicorn with an orange mane steps out from a back room full of half finished dresses
>It’s that unicorn from the picture, the Canterlot Carousel one
>That would make this the Canterlot Carousel
>It would also explain the dresses, dresses everywhere
>And some fancy attire for the modern stallion
>”Before you say anything no, I’m not from around here, I am a human, I’m not looking for work as a servant or pony of the night, and for now the only help I need is this store itself”
>She looks puzzled
>”Just browsing thanks”
“Oh, okay then. I’m quite busy anyway”
>She trots back into her little workshop
>You can hear crashes and thuds as she throws things about
>Or makes a dress with obscene gusto, you can’t see through the door to find out
>You look around the room
>One particular dress catches your eye
>It was a sleek and smooth black that shinned deep purple along the edges
>Very form fitting, it would certainly show off a few curves
>In the right light a few twinkling dot like stars could be seen running along the dresses natural contours, definitely used to enhance the ponies natural shape
>It also has a peculiar patterned lace chest, studded with diamonds, which also slightly ran up the neck to form a little collar
>All in all it’s one sexy dress
>And made for a pegasus apparently
>There were some side straps to allow wings through the dress, once they were closed over it became near impossible to tell they were there at all
>There’s shouting coming from outside as the unicorns begin their search for you
>From the window you can spy them working in groups of three entering and checking all the nearby residences and shops
>And from the look of it you’re up next
>You scramble to hide yourself
>In the movies this always worked
>But this was real, or real-ish, life
>The guards enter to boutique
“Hello how may I help you lot”
>Two of the guards begin searching for you
>The third talks to the mare
“We are looking for a dangerous fugitive mare’am, have you let anypony strange into your shop recently?”
>She nods
“Yes, I just let something called a human in, he was just browsing”
>She looks about
“But I can’t seem to find him”
“That’s fine mare’am, you’ve been a great help, we’ll be out of your mane in no time”
>He turns around to his squad
“He’s been here, possibly still is, I want you two to search this place top to bottom, I’ll stand guard at the door to make sure he can’t get out”
>The guards split up once more and start looking
>You however remain perfectly still, standing in the window with several scarves wrapped around your body, a crazy purple hat and a pair of rainbow sunglasses on your face
>That’s right you’re trying the mannequin disguise
>Like hell this’ll work
>The two guards look high and low to find you
>Eventually one moves right next to you and begins to inspect 
>You hold your breath and try not to move
>He leans in close and pokes you in the ribs
“Damn, these things are getting less life like by the day”
>You’ll take that as a compliment
>Also holy fuck that just worked!
>The guards give up their search and deem that you had visited the store only momentarily
>With the guards gone the proprietor mare begins to frantically looks about
“Celestia be damned! Where did I put it!”
>The distressed pony trots about nervously
>You step out from your stand in the window, shedding your excess clothing
>”What’ve you lost?”
>The mare dives back in terror
“AHHH! I thought you’d left”
>”So did the guard ponies. Now then what did you lose? Because I may be able to help”
>You have a sneaking suspicion it might be a photograph
“But you’re a fugitive! Why would you help?”
>”Well I’m only a fugitive for now, I’ll be back in prison soon, and I’d like to help because why not?”
“I, um, okay. I lost a photo, it’s of me and a dear friend, she owns the store actually. I’ve got a lot of fond memories with her and that photo means the world to me, it was such a happy time”
>You pull out the photo given to you by Discord
>”It’s this photo isn’t it?”
>She’s stunned
“Where did you find that?”
>”I found it in a box outside, thought it was important so I kept it, which was clearly a good thing”
>She nods vigorously
“Yes! Yes it was a good thing-eh?, erm, I don’t know your name, I’m Sassy Saddles”
>”Anonymous, and it’s a pleasure to meet you”
“The pleasure is truly mine, like I was saying, it is a good thing Anonymous! I owe you a huge debt for this!”
>”How huge?”
“Huuuuuuge!”
>You point to the dress
>”I was looking to get that for a friend, could I get a discount as a reward?”
>She smiles broadly
“For you it’s free! I could make you fifty of them if you want!”
>”No, no one is fine, but if you believe this debt /that/ big I was looking for something for my nurse friend”
“A Nurse? How kind of you, they really are underappreciated, do you know what she’d like?”
>”Well she loves fancy things, she likes going to the spa, getting her mane and coat done, she also loves helping everyone, but that’s a little harder to buy for”
“Say no more, I’ve got just the thing”
>Sassy Saddles pulls a box from the close by shelf
>Inside is a very ornate, pearl and gold, grooming brush
“This is our top of the line grooming brush, I can personally attest to that, and I guarantee that she will not be disappointed”
>She nudges it into your hands
“Especially if somepony with a pair of /those/ did it for her” 
>You open and close your hands
>”This things are more trouble than they’re worth around here”
>Damn magic fingers
>Sassy also produces a small bottle
“This is a mango scented coat oil, great for maintaining hair luster and keeping skin smooth and hydrated. She’ll love it”
>Yes, what with your troublesome hands and all
>”Thank you so much Sassy Saddles”
>Sassy bows slightly to you
“Thank you Anonymous. Now please leave my shop, you /are/ a wanted fugitive, and I really don’t want to go to prison for being an accomplice”
>”Very good point, it’s been lovely meeting you Sassy, but could I also trouble you for a bag? My current one is kinda full. I’ll actually pay this time”
“No worries at all”
>You step out of Canterlot Carouse, 50 bits removed from your crystal coin, with your new dress, brush, and oil stored away in your new belt pouch
>This trip to Canterlot has been quite fruitful 
>So many cool things you’ve seen, done, stolen, and earnt!
>But you have to get back to the prison soon, and think of a way to not get in trouble for all this
>You’ll think of something
>Please let you think of something
>Turning around to head home you come face to face with Heavy Hoofed once more
“You can’t trick me like I’m some dog Anonymous. I knew you’d still be around here”
>”Look guy, I’m heading back to the prison now, just leave a man be would you?”
“Let an escapee go? I don’t think so”
>”Fine, but I’m going to be stiff in the morning”
>You sprint away again as Heavy Hoofed calls in his squad once more
>You pull out the map as you run to look for the fastest way back to the forbidden library
>It would seem if you made a detour through Canterlot universities campus grounds you could make it back before your lungs shrivel up and die
>You plot the route in your mind after memorising a few landmarks on the map then put it away
>Taking back alleys and using sharp corners to your advantage you slowly gain some distance on the teleporting unicorns
>Most now were simply running after you, showing magic powers weren’t infinite
>You speed down a thin alleyway, about to burst out onto a cobblestone street
>You hear the distressed calls of someone coming from the street
“Help! Somepony Help me! That thief stole my bag!”
>Several unicorns enter the alley behind you with Heavy Hoofed taking the lead
>Their horns all begin glowing 
>This can’t be good
>You turn back around and charge to the alley exit just as a worried looking mare trots in the way
>The unicorn guard lets loose their built up stun spells
>You look back to watch the blobs of electricity darting towards you
>This really can’t be good
>The mare still stands in your way and you haven’t exactly slown down
>But she has
>The mare is moving at an absurdly slow pace
>You look back to the stun spells, which should have knocked you on your arse by now
>They too are moving insanely slow
>Everything is, even you’re slowed down, but by no where near as much as everything else
>There’s a tickling breeze across your hand
>You look down and see the ring Gold Feather had given you
>The little sapphires studded around it are blowing a small ghale around your hand
>Well shit, it works. You really did not expect that, but hey, you’re in peril, and you’re moving swift as the goddamn wind, no complaints here
>You easily duck to the side before any of the bolts reach you
>As they pass by time begins to speed up once more
>Using the little time you have left you dash down the alley once more
>But something has caught you’re sped up eye
>One of the spells was drifting towards the distressed mare
>You cannot allow an innocent pone to be hurt because of you
>With the last few seconds of slown down time you dive towards the mare, jumping ahead of the bolt and preparing for it’s impact
>As the glowing yellow ball approaches you it flickers and turns red
>Down the alleyway Heavy Hoofed watches with confused horror as his horn flashes and become red
>Before the spell reaches you it’s colour changes to black
>It rapidly shrinks down and pops out of existence
>From the point it vanished a massive shock wave radiates out
>You and the pony are blasted off your feet and into the air
>Time slows once again, this time from the adrenaline rushing through your body
>You roll over as you soar through the air and attempt to grab the flailing mare, but she’s slightly too far away
>You land on your back and tumble into an anxious looking stallion
>God damn that hurt!
>You try to get up but are slammed back down as a ball of pony lands on your chest knocking the wind out of you
>As you rasp for breath the mare gets up and plucks a bag from the stallion you’d just landed on
>You stagger up as the unicorn guard arrive from the alley you’d just come from
>The stallion gets up and begins shouting
“Help! Help! That mare and monster just stole my bag!”
>The mare looks about and stammers
“Y-your bag! That is mine!”
>Ach, that accent, you’ve just found yourself an english pony
>The unicorns don’t seem to care as they move in closer, Heavy hoofed points a hoof at you
“Apprehend those two criminals! And be careful of the human, he somehow hijacked my horn”
>The english sounding pony is stunned
“B-bu- T-that’s mine”
>She limply holds up the bag
“It's mine...”
>The unicorns take no notice and stalk in closer
>With no time to spare and not wishing to leave this pony to the fate you’d caused her you grab her in an arm and make yet another run for it
>You’re still able to keep a comfortable pace, even despite your injuries and the extra weight of a pony, the pursuing guards however are flagging behind, exhaustion from the market raid and your rampant chase through the city finally starting to set in
>Although you weren’t doing too well either, now starting to pant fairly heavily
>You look down at the pony bouncing in your arms
>She’s a unicorn with magenta eyes, her coat a pure shining white, mane deep rich red with a single streak of orange-bronze 
>Her Cutie Mark was an unfurled scroll with a black scorched heart shape in the centre that’s surrounded by wisping flames
>”So did you just steal that guy’s bag?”
>The mare pokes you in the chest, offended
“How dare you! He stole my bag, I got it back!”
>Her look softens
“Although I suppose I have you to thank for that, but it’s a miracle I didn’t get hurt”
>”Yeah because you landed on me. It’s lucky you didn’t stab me with that thing”
>You nod towards her horn
>“The names Anonymous by the way”
“Ember Heart, charmed I’m sure, where are you taking me?”
>”I’ve no idea, I need to get back to the castle to get out of here”
“That’s good, if you go through Canterlot university you can get there faster, and it’s where I need to be, and soon”
>”How lucky for you, but won’t the guards be trying to arrest you”
“Once I’m on university grounds I can have the Dean sort everything out, but you should be worrying about those guards behind us, you are a supervillain, no? The guards do not like it when supervillains escape”
>She tuts at you
>”Hey none of that. I’m saving you here too you know”
“But it was your fault in the first place Mr. Anonymous”
>You grimace. She was right
“So how are you going to get rid of the guards then?”
>”I’ve been working on that and you’re not going to like my idea”
>She crosses her hooves
“Why wouldn’t I like your idea? What is it?”
>”This”
>You turn around to face the pursuing guards
>Putting your hands under the armpits (legpits?) of Ember Heart you lifter her away and turn her around
>Doing so has her dangling from your arms, belly fully exposed and facing the guards
>All of whom begin stumbling and looking away in embarrassment
>The surrounding crowd all looks away and vacates the area
>”Oi! You lot, turn around and leave us alone, I’m going back to prison I swear”
>Heavy Hoofed steps up
“Liar!”
>You twist and point Ember Heart to face him
>He cringes back and looks away
>”Even if I was Heavy Hoofed I’ve got a pony here and I’m not afraid to rub this fluffy belly”
>You maneuver a hand out and threateningly move it near her stomach
>Ember squirms in your grip
“What! There’s no need to be so extreme Mr. Anonymous”
>She turns her head to look back at you pleadingly
>Her white face is just about as red as her mane
“Please, I know it’s working but this is the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done”
>”Fine”
>With the guards cowering down you slowly back away, pony still raised
>Only once you’d rounded the nearest corner did you lower her and take up your run again
>It would seem your plan worked as no guards were to be seen following you
>”I’m sorry about that back there”
>She waves your worries away with a hoof
“It worked didn’t it? Besides, that was the most exciting thing I’ve done in my life! How thrilling”
>”Don’t get out much?”
“Not for a while, I use to love going out into the field”
>”Field? You some sort of agent?”
“Haha, goodness no, I’m a research pony for Canterlot Royal, I specialise in the study of magical creatures, phenoxies, manticores, I once even did a dissertation on the development of hydra heads”
>”Nerd then?”
>Ember looks defiant
“I take that as a compliment”
>”And so you should”
>She blushes awkwardly at your backhand compliment
>You reach one of the last landmarks you’d memorised, a statue of six ponies, five in fancy necklaces, one with a crown
“So you must have really done something bad for a specialist unicorn to use a Force push spell on you”
>”I don’t think he meant to do that. It was my fault if anything, magic and I don’t mix… maybe, I’m not sure”
>You slow your run to a gentle walk as you pass through a mighty arch with “Canterlot Royal University” emblazoned upon its front
>This part seems to be a park or some recreational zone
“You know I don’t think I’ve ever seen your species before, where are you from?”
>”Earth”
>She nods
“That would explain it, I’ve never been good with all the underground species”
>She peers up closer at your face
“But your eyes are so small, are you sure you’re from the underground? And strange magic abilities? Has anypony written a research paper on you?”
>”No, no one has researched me thus far”
>Although they would be very soon
>Ember Heart becomes distant, stuck in her own thoughts
“Interesting.. I sure hope the creature I’m researching today is as peculiar as you are. Goodness who am I kidding, of course he will be, especially after what Princess Luna told us”
>Princess Luna, creature and research all register in your mind
>She was one of the ponies researching you today wasn't she?
>”Sounds fun”
>You find a bench and take a seat for the pony to get off your chest
>She doesn’t
>”Uh, you can get off now”
“Oh dear, yes you are correct. I am terribly sorry if that made you uncomfortable”
>She scrambles off you and takes a seat
>You put a reassuring hand on her withers
>”It’s fine, not a lot phases me”
>The mare happily rocks side to side
>Hmm, this pony was English… There’s something you must check out
>”Hey Ember Heart, you’ve got something in your teeth”
>She opens up her mouth and exposes her teeth, attempting to remove the non-existent thing with a hoof
>From what you can make out they’re perfectly normal teeth. So much for that stereotype
>They are shiny though, very shiny
“Did I get it Mr Anonymous”
>”Yeah, you sure did. So why are your teeth so shiny?”
>She looks away and her ears droop
“Hehe, that was just a little accident”
>You rub her shoulders
>”I’d like to hear about it, apparently I’m a good listener”
>She sighs contently under your touch
"I don't know why you'd care, but okay"
“It happened about ten days ago. I’d been working with some of the properties of the Ice wolf’s fur, it has special insulation to help them survive the cold of the frozen north, but I wasn’t actually interested in that”
“Their fur develops crystals in a very specific pattern that gives them the most amazing sparkle”
“I had magically extracted that property and attempted to fuse it into my toothpaste, but when I did there was some strange magical disturbance, so the spell didn’t quite work”
>”How so?”
“Well rather than make my teeth shine like their fur it turned them into crystals”
>You fail to prevent your chuckle
>”It doesn’t look that bad”
>She shakes her head
“This is ten days after that and my teeth still have crystal properties”
>”You’re just like everyone else I’ve met, a silly pony”
>She laughs until you boop her muzzle, then she goes eerily quiet
>Alright then
>”I hope you have fun researching that creature you were talking about before, but I’m afraid I gotta get back to prison”
>...
>”That sounded better in my head”
>Ember Heart gives a light hearted giggle
>“But you should come visit if you want. I did just save you”
“That wouldn’t be the Perpetual Rainbows Correctional Centre would it?”
>”Yeah, it’s a magical place”
“That’s funny the creature I’m meant to be studying is down there, maybe I’ll run into you while I’m over” 
>”Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh”
>”Yeah you just might”
>You turn around but look back when you hear Ember clear her throat
>She sits shyly on the bench, covering her face with her mane
“T-thank you Mr. Anonymous, you’ve been a fantastic help, even if you were the cause of the trouble”
>”Uh, thanks I guess. It was fun meeting you. You know what, I’ve got something for you”
>You pull out your rose tube
>”Here, a pretty flower for a pretty face”
>It’s fun to make ponies blush
>She grasps at the tube and holds it close to herself before looking up to you with confusion
“T-this is a Blood rose, why are you giving this to me? We’ve just met, I’m pretty much a stranger”
>”I don’t know, I just thought you’d earnt it for putting up with me. I like anyone, pony, gryphon, whatever, if they’ve got that trait”
>You can pretty much feel the warmth coming from her cheeks
“O-okay, I guess I’ll hold onto it if you really want”
>”Of course I want you to”
*Meep*
“I-i hope you don’t want a reply right away”
>More of her mane slips down over her face
>You tussle her hair then push it out of her eyes
>”I-i don't get it? Why would I expect a reply?"
>She looks at you with confusion
>"You know what, I’ll be seeing you soon”
“What do you mean? Won’t you be in prison?”
>You don’t answer, walking away continuing on to the castle grounds, leaving Ember Heart alone on the bench
>You find your gate and walk back to the window you’d jumped from
>Next you reach the library
>But as you enter you feel something watching you
>”Discord?”
“Bwahahaha!”
>The creature known as Discord coils out from between your fingers and rolls onto the floor before bursting back up with a fanfare of trumpets and fireworks
“Well done Anonymous! Not my usual brand of chaos, but it gets the job done”
>He pats you on the back, several times, each time it’s a different him, with the room suddenly being full of Discords all celebrating your mild achievements
“In just a few short hours you managed to bring about more chaos than I have in days! Oh to watch those ponies go running! Hahaha! And the way you escaped from those unicorns, when you expose that poor mare’s stomach to the crowd, oh! I nearly died from laughter!”
>”It was pretty fun I’ll give you that, but was it really worth all that praise?”
>He coils around you
“Why of course dear Anonymous, beside, you were simply the… Catalyst, I needed to start my reaction”
>You shiver
>”Why do I get the feeling that isn’t good”
>Discord vanishes
“It probably isn’t, and don’t forget to make that pillow angry”
>”I thought you said not to!”
>There’s no response
>You’re not sure how to make a pillow angry, but after what Discord said, you’re not too sure about trusting a spirit of chaos
>You do pull it out though, just to make sure nothing had changed
>It was normal
>At long last you clamber through the glass door, into the tiny garden and down the grate
>You approach the blue crystal that lead you here
>But first
>”Stupid pillow”
>You toss the tiny pillow into the river and it floats away, vanishing into the crystal
>Next you touch the crystal
>Everything turns black, this time only for a second, your vision returning as soon as you pass through
>What you forgot to factor in was the fact the crystal overhung the cliff, and that you were now falling down to your death
>Or would have been, were it not for the very large, and angry pillow shouting obscenities at you
>You made that pillow mad
>Maybe you should trust Discord? He saved your life
>He also somehow knew that this was going to happen
>He could have just told you to begin with!
>But whatever, you’re alright and the pillow has stopped shouting
>Now you have to get back onto the prison grounds
>You run, as fast as the caves permit, to the nearest orange glow
>From there you easily find your way back to the main cavern of the cave complex
>The adventures club have all left, probably growing tired of it while you were galavanting about the city
>Before you leave you put the original contents of you bag, the lamp, pickaxe, chisel, all that crap, back into the storage closet
>You exit the caves and stand by the lake
>It’s quiet out, so you slowly walk back to your room
>Silver remains snoozing peacefully on your bed
>You put your stuff away in your personal cupboard then lift her up and put her on Shear’s
>With your bed free you pull off the sheets and put on a fresh new set
>You also bundle up all the stuffed animals
>You put the dress Sassy gave you beside the pillow
>It came with a card
>You scribble down a quick note
*Dear Silver, hope you like it, love Anon*
>You put Silver back where you found her and lightly kiss her cheek
>”You’re such a cutie”
>Rubbing that firm belly you bring a smile to her muzzle 
>Speaking of cuties you wonder how Ember Heart is going to react when she sees you’re the one she’ll be researching
>You might have a bit of fun teasing that one
>Expecting to be called in by The Warden at any time for the research ponies you walk back outside
>Aimlessly ambling around you soon hear the approaching hoof steps of Warden Honey Cakes coming up from behind you
“Anonymous! Good, the last of the science ponies just arrived, you’ve got to get to their study area”
>”Alright, anything else? Like maybe I’ve done something wrong?”
“Well aside from the time out room door, not that I know of”
>Word or your little escape has not yet reached the prison
“You’ll be getting punished for that soon Anon, I’m just waiting for one of my guards to arrive”
>You sigh
>”Oh hooray”
>Honey Cakes leads you across the grounds to a series of large connected plastic domes. 
>They were mostly white with large clear segments, each was connected with a cylindrical tube
>The largest was the central dome, inside were a lot of soft cushions and a lot of large blinking machines
>The other two small domes were full of books, equipment, and ponies
>The domes all have their own entrances, which were also decontamination chambers
>”So Warden what happened with Maple Glaze, you seemed pretty worried, she important?”
“She is the most important Anon! She’s being watched by Soft Cotton, who’ll be bringing her over shortly. Turns out she just had the sniffles, I was probably overreacting”
>As you near the tents the research ponies, all of whom were unicorns, scramble to the side of their dome, faces pushed up against the wall to get a better look at you
>Some have taken out sketch books are are already making rough anatomical outlines
>”This is going to be fun”
>Star Badge, covered in glitter, comes galloping up from behind and drops a cardboard box with eye holes beside The Warden
“Thank you Star Badge, you may leave”
>You look at the box
>”So what’s up with that?”
“It’s your punishment Anon, you broke my prison, I’m afraid I’ve got to do something drastic”
>”Drastic is a box?”
>Honey Cakes nods
“Tell me Anonymous, why don’t you have your beret on? It is a mandatory part of PRC’s prisoner uniform”
>What did that have to do with anything?
>”I’m not a hat guy, never will be, but why are berets mandatory?”
>The research ponies have grown tired of watching you from a distance, sending one of their own out to see what was taking so long
“That’s pretty simple Anon, we’d been undergoing inspection a few years ago when the Cuteness Inquisitor turned up as a surprise”
>”Cuteness Inquisitor?”
“Yes, the element of kindness herself. She deemed that our facilities cuteness was not at its full potential, so she made us include a small hat with our prisoners uniforms to up cuteness output by 40%”
>”So what does this have to do with anything?”
>Honey Cakes picks up the box in her muzzle and presents it to you
>You take it from her maw
“Because you just earned yourself a new hat... I’m sorry Anonymous”
>You look at the box
>In the top corner of each side is a small label
*Lock Box*
>On all sides are the poorly written words “This box is for stupid ponies only”
>Inside is a strap to keep the box locked onto your head
>You can’t wear this, there’s nothing wrong with the box, it’s barely a punishment, it’s just…
>You don’t do hats, even if it’s just a box, you don’t do hats, ever
>The research pony exits the decontamination chamber and trots up to the two of you
>She’s light orange with a deep brown mane
“Is everything alright out here Warden, we were getting anxious to start”
>She addresses you
“It’s good to meet you Anonymous, I’m Chicken Scratch and you’ll be informed on todays activities shortly”
>You nod and The Warden answers
“I was just punishing him for breaking down one of our doors, he’s got one hour in the Lock Box”
>Chicken Scratch shows her worry
“Are you sure that’s for the best, he shouldn’t be stressed while we do our testing, it could affect our results”
>Honey Cakes laughs
“I wouldn’t worry about it”
>She leans in closer and whispers to Chicken Scratch
“Really I’m just punishing him as a formality, he hasn’t been here long but I’ve already learned that conventional punishment doesn’t phase him at all, he’ll be fine”
>You interrupt
>”I can’t wear this Warden”
>Chicken Scratch materialises a note pad and quill and starts furiously writing
>Honey cakes just slowly looks up to you, surprise evident on her face and stance
“Put the box on Anon”
>”I don’t wear hats Warden”
>Honey Cakes horn lights up and the box drifts above your head
>You move out of the path of the descending box and grab it from Honey’s telekinetic grasp
>”Please Warden, anything else, I’m not putting on the box”
>She snatches it back and continues to try and place it over your head
>By now all the research ponies have taken out their own notebooks, all of them detailing your little rebellion
>”Come on Honey Cakes, I’m not putting on the box, just think of something else”
>She pouts at you
“But I’ve finally found a punishment that might work on you!”
>Chicken Scratch speaks up
“I don’t think it is working Warden, you seem to be distressing him”
>”Yes, very distressed”
>Honey Cakes’ face turns to worry
“I’m sorry Anonymous, I had no idea I was distressing you. Here at PRC that’s the last thing we want to do”
>”That’s fine Honey Cakes, you haven’t done anything wrong, I’ve even got a way to get rid of my worries”
>You pick up the box and tear it in two
>Chicken Scratch whistles in admiration and all the research ponies stop their writing in shock
>Honey Cakes just shakes her head
“Really Anonymous?”
>”Yeah, sorry”
“You know you’ll still be getting punished… somehow”
>”I’m fine with that, just nothing hat or head based please”
>Chicken Scratch turns to Honey Cakes
“That report Nurse Soft Cotton gave us said he was strong, but not THAT strong”
>wut?
“He just tore that reinforced cardboard like it was nothing!”
>Honey Cakes nods solemnly
“He’s a little stronger than that I’m afraid, he tore a door out from its hinges, it’s why he’s in trouble”
>Chicken Scratch takes a few notes
“We’ll have to add a few more tests then, now, shall we begin Anonymous?”
>”Take the lead Chicken Scratch”
>The three of you step into the decom chamber 
>A light mist is sprayed over you and then a magical breeze is summoned to dry you off
>It’s quite pleasant, like a soft tickling
>You step into the main chamber, now full of science ponies 
>You can’t make out Ember Heart, where is she?
>Chicken Scratch directs you to the center of the room
>It consists of a fenced off circle with some kind of operating chair 
>You step over the fence and take a seat
>It was the right size too
>Chicken Scratch and the other ponies, Honey Cakes included, move to a small observation deck suspended about half a meter in the air 
>You look at Chicken scratch who begins to speak
“Alright Anonymous, as you should know we have come to PRC to study you after your Warden here alerted the Royal university to your abnormal characteristics, do you understand?”
>You nod
>”Yep, got that”
>She continues
“Initially we only intended to study your effects on magic, but then we received a basic report from your prison's head nurse, it detailed a few of your other peculiarities, including your absence from the registered species list” 
“News of you quickly spread through the university and some other faculties have decided to included themselves”
>”So who’s here today?”
“There is the anomalous magical research team, they are also joined by the unique magics division, We’ve also got the members of the magical creatures team, they share a few members with the unique magics division, and finally there’s the medical team, we understand you’ve already had your basic physical so they shouldn’t need much from you”
>”Alright then, who’s up first?”
“My team, from anomalous magical research. We intend to magically probe you while taking real time readings of your basic physiological function, heart rate, skin conductivity, brain activity, things like that, we’ve also got a few machines setup to measure fluctuations in the surrounding magical fields” 
>”Okay I got all that, except the probed part, please tell me that’s not what I think it is”
>Chicken Scratch blushes
“No, it’s not that! We’ll simply be casting a few different types of spells on you and recording the outcome, you should be perfectly safe”
>”It’s better than what I was thinking”
>Chicken nods
“So do you have any questions before we begin?”
>”Yeah, is there a pony called Ember Heart here with you?”
“Yes of course, but it would seem some trouble up at Canterlot delayed her; she’s still checking in with reception”
“Now I have a question for you, how did you know her name? Or that she even existed?”
>”Very lucky guess?”
>Her features winkle in suspicion but soon relax
“Keep your secrets Anonymous, we don’t wish to impose. With that in mind I feel it prudent to admit Princess Luna has told us of your meeting with her and of your origins, we hope that’s alright by you”
>”Nah, that’s fine. Honey Cakes you knew about this too? Why didn’t you mention it at breakfast?”
“You were with your friends, I didn’t want to say anything in case you wanted it kept a secret”
>”Thank you, I guess. Now let's get down to business”
>Chicken Scratch pulls out two ponies from the group and gives them some instructions
“Very good Anonymous, now for these tests we require your shirt off for proper attachment of our equipment”
>Not a day goes by that you can keep your shirt on
>And off it goes
>The couple Chicken Scratch pulled out joins you in the ring and begins attaching sticky electrode pads to your body
>They have some swanky looking devices taking these measurements, large metal boxes with circuitry and glowing crystals all about, they even had rudimentary digital displays
>”Those are some interesting looking things”
>One of the unicorns attaching electrodes looks up
“The measuring equipment? Yeah it’s brand new tech, top of the line, they were designed by The Princess of friendship! She’s like, the smartest pony in the world”
>”ah-ha, and those?”
>You point to the magic field detector
>It was like a radar dish made of gold with a series of gems orbiting around on a gyroscope sitting at the dishes centre
“The Princess again, she’s brilliant, although I heard she had help from Discord, changes in magic are a specialty of his”
>The unicorn places the last pad on your neck
“Alright we’re done here, you’re being very co-operative for a black suit, honestly when I saw you I thought we were going to have a big problem”
>”I usually am a big problem”
>The unicorn kind of smiles at the joke but also looks at you with worry before returning to the observation deck
>Chicken takes up her note book once more
“Alright Anonymous first we will start with-
>She’s cut off by the sound of the chamber door opening
>Into the room walks Soft Cotton with a bundle of blankets on her side
>Honey Cakes face lights up
“Soft Cotton! So how’s Maple Glaze?”
>Soft Cotton smiles cheerily
“She’s fine Cakes, her cold should be gone by tomorrow morning, but…”
>Honey Cakes goes serious
“But what Cotton?”
“But she’s developed a few erratic magic bursts”
>The mare sighs with relief 
“Well that’s to be expected, she’s at that age, not much we can really do about it though”
>It’s about time you spoke up
>”I thought you were bringing Maple Glaze here Cotton, where is she?”
>Also who is she?
>She looks at you like you’ve somehow missed the obvious
“She’s right here”
>Soft Cotton lifts up the bundle of blankets with her wings and loosens them up 
>As it turns out that was not just a bundle of blankets
>There was a tiny unicorn wrapped up inside
>You’re eyes widen
>Holy shit that is a babis pone
>It’s head, proportionally is gigantic, and how that came out of a pone, you’ve no idea. The body is tiny though, you could fit about one and a half bodies into its head, so there is some obscene disproportionate anatomy going on there
>But it’s so fucking CUTE!
>It’s mini horn lights up and it floats into the air
>You don’t think you’ve seen a unicorn fly like that before
>Her teeny tiny legs gallop along as she slowly drifts towards Honey Cakes who lovingly pulls her from the air
>That is Honey Cakes babis pone, explains her unnatural worry over her health
>But damn Honey looks fine for a mother
>Maple Glaze has Honey Cakes' gold-brown coat, but she’s got a jet black mane, something from the father you’d imagine
>”You’re a mother Honey Cakes? Well congratulations! How long has the little one been around?” 
“Maple Glaze here is about to reach three months, raising this little mess maker is more stressful than I thought it’d be”
>Maple Glaze giggles adorably in Honeys grasp
>”She’s so cute! Can I hold her?”
“Go ahead Anon”
>She telekinetically moves Maple Glaze into your awaiting arms
>Chicken Scratch however has grown impatient
“Can you do this later, we’ve important business to attend to”
>Her gripes are quickly hushed by the head of the medical division
“We’re getting some excellent readings here Chicken, just look at how his body reacts to Maple Glaze”
>He waves a piece of paper with a squiggly graph around Chickens head 
>You ignore the ponies around you, instead focusing on the absolutely tiny pony in your arms
>Her little legs wiggle up at you and her muzzle widens in a smile
>Oh god.. It’s just too cute, she’s such an adorable little thing!
>It hurts! It /literally/ fucking hurts you to look at it
>But you can’t look away
>With a couple fingers (anything more would have been overkill she was that small) you rub her little baby belly
>”Who’s the most adorable little baby around? You are! Yes you are”
>She giggles wildly and wiggles about
“I think she likes you Anon” 
>Maple Glaze stretches out in your arms and yawns, her little hoof ending up in her mouth to be sucked on 
>Nope that’s it, it’s all over, the cuteness has taken full control and is killing you off, cell by cell
“By Celestia his readings are off the chart! Somepony get down there, we need to calm him before he has a heart attack!”
>Several researchers dive into the ring with you
>”You should probably take her back Warden, I can’t handle her cuteness, it’s actually killing me”
>Honey removes Maple from your grasp as you’re made to sit down by the researchers
>They give you a hot chocolate and warm blanket
“He’s stabilizing, good work everypony”
>A few pats on the back go around the crowd
>Good god, you’ve caused such a spectacle already
>Honey Cakes makes for the exit
“I should probably take Maple away from here, especially if she’s started her magic “teething” as it were, not good for a magic sterile area”
>”You’re a good pony Honey Cakes”
“Thank you Anonymous”
>A scroll bursts out in front of Honey Cakes in a flash of fire
>She picks it up and reads through it before staring daggers at you, face a mask of annoyance
“Where were you just before I found you Anonymous? Not Canterlot was it?”
>...shit
>”I was with Path Finder adventuring in the caves you gave us permission to explore”
>Her eyes narrow with suspicion
“I’ll be having a talk with Path Finder soon Anonymous, you better hope he confirms your presence at that club”
>She takes her leave, little baby Maple wriggling about like a ball of weaponized cuteness
>That’s one dangerously cute baby, and soon to be one dangerously angry Warden
>You just need a miracle and you’ll be fine
>”You staying Cotton?”
“You need somepony to hold your hoof Anon? Yeah I’ll be hanging around while I fill in the medical team with all we know about you, but I do have to look out for the entire prison’s health”
>”Gotta do what you gotta do. By they way I got you a gift, I’ll swing by your office later and give it to you”
>She looks flattered
“A gift for me? Thank you Anon, I can’t wait!” 
>Chicken Scratch steps up once more
“Okay, now that that is /finally/ over we can begin /our/, that is, /OUR/ research”
>She squints towards the medical team running around you before
“You heard me Doctor Witlick, /our/ research, wait your turn, anomalous magic was up first! So are you ready Anonymous?”
>”As I’ll ever be”
>The sound of thudding at the dome’s side steals everyone’s attention once again
>The sound has Chicken Scratch groaning
>It was Shear 
>She shouts from outside and holds your phone up against the wall
>You’ve no idea how, but it’s on, and your wake up alarm is playing
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q9rewnLFYw [Embed]
“ANON! HELP! He can’t stop!”
>She waves it around; panicked 
>You gesture for her to come inside
>The researchers look about at each other, clearly disturbed by your phone
“Why can’t he stop Anonymous?” Chicken Scratch inquires 
>”Straight up, it’s not a he, it’s not an anything, not alive in fact, you don’t have to worry about it”
>The researchers lose their worry and gain their curiosity
>Shear has entered and joined you in the ring
>She holds the phone in her mouth as it sings away
>She looks so concerned over nothing but a phone
“Whaf can fwe do for himf?!”
>”Give it here”
>She spits it into your awaiting hand
>You slide the screen across to stop the alarm
>The phone appears to be working fine
>Shear looks up at you 
“Did you fix him? Will he be alright?”
>”It’s not alive Shear, and yes it would seem that it is going to be alright, somehow. Say how did you know to bring it to me?”
>She smiles
“Because you know everything Anon! Also there’s a picture of you and a dog on it sometimes”
>You look at your lock screen
>Hah, you forgot that was your background
>Such a nice doggo
>”I guess you figured out this isn’t actually a rock?”
>She blushes yet laughs at you
“Haha! I knew it wasn’t a rock the moment it hit me, come on Anon, it’s made of metal and has an apple on the back, I just didn’t know what it was, and calling it a dumb rock helped sooth my anger”
>She sighs
“T-this was yours though, wasn’t it Anon? /You/ are the reason I’m in prison”
>Shear looks up at you with crying eyes
>You pick her up and slowly sway about in a hug
>It’s a little awkward with all the wires attached to your body
>”God, I am so sorry Shear, I never meant for anything like that to happen”
>But she pushes back from your hug to get away
>It hurts more than you could have expected
>Except... she’s smiling at you
“Oh you silly little colt Anon, I’m /glad/ I ended up here! Because I found you!”
>Your audience of scientists, or magicologists, give a little cheer, for some reason invested in your personal situations
>Chicken Scratch speaks up
“So then what is it Anonymous?”
>You flip the phone about in your hands as Shear snuggles up close once more
>God damn does having a happy pony against you feel good
>”Think of it as a magic device that can play music, take pictures, store books, play games and do a bunch of other things”
“Ha, such a thing cannot truly exist… Can it?”
>”What do you think?”
>You look back to Shear
>”When this hit you there didn’t happen to be some dangly white plastic wires with it?”
>She nods and pulls your head phones from her saddle bag
“These things got wrapped around my leg when I was hit”
>You plug the jack in and open up a work safe playlist
>Next you unwrap the tangles & knots along the headphones
>Finally you tuck them into Shear’s ears and hit play
>They’re not the best fit with pony ears, but they’ll work just fine
>(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9aewgsbjRs) [Embed]
>Shear stops her usual wriggling, going still, stunned by wonder
>Her jaw slowly lowers in surprise
“Anon this is magic! How does it work?”
>Her little hooves begin twitching along with the beat
>”I know how some of the components operate, or at least what their function is, but I couldn’t tell you exactly how it works without the internet”
>You realise the room has been full of a quiet scratching noise for some time now
>It was just the researchers. Quills where a lot louder than pens
>”You can hold onto that and listen through the songs if you want”
>Shear nods eagerly
>Chicken Scratch shakes her head disapprovingly
“Anonymous you should be handing that device over to us for analysis at the Advanced and Magical tech department”
>”Sorry, Prime Directive, can’t give it to ya”
“Prime directive?”
>”Yep, it’s a thing where I’m from”
>She just looks confused
>Shear looks up, smile beaming 
“I’ve got something special for you too Anon, but it’s not as good as this music box”
>”So what’ve you got for me?”
“It’s an arm guard! I made it just for you, because you're awesome and you fight a lot and do other dangerous stuff like that”
>”Haha, what a reason, that’s fantastic”
>But she wasn’t finished, as she continues while snuggling up closely
“And for being so nice, and always caring for me, and for keeping me happy. I just want to make sure I can keep you safe Anon”
>”Please, you’ll make me blush” 
>She pulls out the guard wrapped in a black velvet cloth
“Here, I hope you like it”
>You unwrap the cloth to reveal the majestic sight beneath
>It was a shiny platinum and gold
>It had the most glorious and intricate pattern etched along it, with a large purple rectangular gem fused in the centre 
>You put it on
>It fits around your arm more than perfectly
>It feels like a second layer of skin, it’s unbelievably light
>Amazing
>You look at it with awe
>”You made this? For me?”
>She looks at you with her large, hopeful eyes and nods
“Mmhmm”
>Never has anyone been so kind to you
>A single tear rolls down your face as you rub Shear's mane and kiss her forehead
>”You are a special pony”
“So you like it?”
>”Shear, I fucking love it!”
>Her grin couldn’t get any wider
>Your audience looks distressed at the foul language
“Oh yeah, I put an enchantment on it for you too! If you concentrate it should be able to produce a force field”
>You smile
>”This really is a special gift”
>You squeeze here little body
“How can I ever repay you?”
>She laughs and points to the earphones in her ears
“I think you’ve given me enough already”
>Her smile becomes sly as her back leg caresses along your side
“But there are a few other ways you could repay me if you insist”
>”Oh realy? I could get behind something like that, but probably not right now”
>There's science to be done
>But something has you irked
>”How did you get that working anyway?”
>When you’d checked your phone was well dead
“Oh, well it all started when Gran and I began our work on your surprise gift”
>”That explains why you kicked me out”
“Hehe, sorry about that. So it happened like this”
>...